supposes their design; and therefore there is as much reason to punish them, though we cannot prove the overt acts upon them, as there is to punish thieves for coming into our houses in an illegal manner, though we cannot prove that they have robbed us, or stole any thing. If we find a wolf, or other beast of prey, among our flocks, we take their design of destroying them for granted, and treat them accordingly, though we do not see the limbs of our cattle in their mouths. And therefore, since the practices and principles of the Romish clergy are so well known, their being found in the nation ought to be sufficient conviction.

It still remains a question, how they shall be discovered? But the answer is at hand. Let a competent and certain reward be proposed for such as shall do it, and the like reward, and a pardon to any of their own number that shall discover the rest; or let provision be made for some of every English seminary beyond sea that turn Protestants, and plant some of them in the several ports of the kingdom; and let some of each of those seminaries be likewise constantly in London to assist in searches, and view those that are taken up on suspicion and, at the same time, let provision be made for such as will inform of all the Popish clergy that haunt the great families of that opinion in England, and we need not doubt of an effectual discovery in a little time: for, besides the influence that the hopes of a reward will have, those goatish fellows, the Romish clergy, do many times disoblige families of their own way, by attempting to debauch their wives, children, or servants, some of whom have so much virtue as to reject the temptation, and to hate the tempters; and many times their blind zeal occasions them likewise to take indiscreet methods to pervert Protestant servants, who would not be wanting, in case of such provision, as above mentioned, to discover those dangerous fellows.

To inflict this punishment of castration upon them, is so much the less to be thought cruel or unreasonable, since it is so ordinary in Italy, and other Popish countries, for the meaner sort of people to geld their own sons, that they make the better market of them for singing boys, and musicians, or to be catamites to cardinals, and other dignitaries of the Romish church. In those hot countries the Roman clergy are much addicted to that damnable and unnatural crime; and such of them, as are not, keep lewd women almost avowedly; they are indeed more upon the reserve, and live according to the maxim of Cautè, though not Castè, in such countries where the government is reformed, or where the Protestants are numerous; but then they are under the greater temptation to perpetrate their villainies, on the pretext of confessing women; therefore there is the more reason to enact a law of castration against them in this kingdom.

We have the more ground to think, that such a law duly executed would have a good effect, because the lust of the flesh is so bewitching and natural to the greatest part of mankind, and continues to have a predominancy in them for so great a part of their lives, that it hath occasioned, and does occasion more disorders,

and is apter to engage men, over whom it obtains the ascendant, in more desperate undertakings than any other passion whatever. Histories are full of examples of princes and great men, that have ruined themselves and their countries in the pursuit of their irregular amours. We have no need to turn over foreign stories, or to go out of our own nation for proofs of this. It is not so long ago to be forgot, since we had the chief affairs of state managed, and parliaments dissolved, &c. at the beck of courtesans. The interest of popery and tyranny, in the late reigns, was chiefly advanced by such.

Do we not find, even in private persons of all ranks, that where that passion is not kept in due bounds, or cured by the proper remedies of a suitable match, honour, health, and estate, nay, life itself is many times sacrificed to the pleasure of the flesh; and therefore the Apostle had reason, as well as revelation on his side, when he ranked all, that is in the world, under the three heads of the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life,' and gave that of the flesh the preference. It is plain, from experience, that the other two are made generally subservient to it, as is visible every day from that excess in jewels, apparel, and houshold furniture, and the vast expence, which the gallants of both sexes put themselves to, in one or all of these, in order to obtain the favour of their paramours.

From all which we may make this inference, that, if the Romish clergy were made incapable, by a law, of enjoying that which they account the greatest pleasure of life, they would avoid those countries, where such laws are put in execution, as they would avoid the plague. It would be happy, if, by this means, we could deliver our posterity from those conspiracies, civil wars, dreadful fires, massacres, assassinations of princes, and other mischiefs, which these kingdoms have been liable to from the Papists, and against which all our other laws have hitherto signified but little to preserve us.

We have also found, by sad experience, that they have had so much influence, as to get the ascendant over some of our princes, by tempting them, as they have done the French king, with the hopes of an absolute sway, and we know not what visionary empires. By this means they prevailed with them to overthrow our laws, the recovery of which hath cost the nation so much blood and treasure, that after-ages are like to feel the smart of it; though they have run one of our princes off the stage, and have well nigh ruined their great champion beyond sea, as they did formerly the Spanish monarchy, by spurring on those princes to persecute Protestants, and establish despotical government. They will never give over that game, but inspire all princes, to whom they can have access, either by themselves or others, with one or both of those designs; and therefore it is the interest of England to use all possible means to secure the nation against those Romish clergymen, for which castration is humbly conceived to be the properest method, and is so far from being cruelty, that it may well be reckoned

as great a piece of clemency to Romish priests, as transportation is, instead of the gallows, to other condemned criminals.

In short, it will be so far from being a real diskindness to the Popish laicks of this nation, that it will be the greatest piece of friendship to them imaginable. This, we hope, they will be the more readily convinced of, if their wives, daughters, and maidservants cry out against this law, for then, to be sure, they have some particular concern in the matter.

We hope, that our Popish laicks in England are men of as good observation as those in other countries, and particularly in France and Italy, where their very proverbs are sufficient to demonstrate, that they have no great opinion of their clergymen's chastity. It is not possible to expose those goatish fellows with more severity and contempt, than the Italians do by saying Fate Lui Coronna,' by way of sarcasm, of a stallion, that they do not think performs his part; alluding to the priests shaven crowns, as if that sacerdotal character were sufficient even to invigorate a horse. Their other proverb of 'Fate lo Prete,' let us make him a priest, when they have any ungovernable wanton in a family, that over-runs all their females, is a-kin to the other; and their covering their stone-horses with a monk's frock, when they find them indifferent for a mare in season, is a scandalous reproof of those brutish clergymen. Answerable to these is the French proverb:

Qui veut tenir nette maison

Qu'l n'y souffre ni pretre ni moin ni pigeon.

Comparing the Popish clergy to the pigeons, for their venereous inclinations; and may be Englished thus:

They, that would keep their houses chaste and neat,

From thence must priests, monks, nuns, and pigeons beat.

As all proverbs of that sort are founded upon something universally known, or conceived to be true, it is not at all for the honour of the Popish clergy, that their chastity should be thus reflected upon, in countries where they are the sole directors of conscience, and have sheir religion established by law.

But that, which fixes it yet more upon them, is, that, in the Pope's chancery, the tax for eating eggs in Lent is greater than that for sodomy; and the penalty upon a priest, that marries, is greater, than upon those that commit that monstrous and unnatural villainy just now mentioned. From all which it is manifest, that they did not speak at random, who informed us, that the celibacy of such an innumerable multitude of Popish ecclesiasticks is the maximum arcanum dominationis Papalis, and that the priests testicles are the greatest promoters of the Pope's empire.' This will appear yet more plain, that it is of the highest importance to them, since the church of Rome maintains, that marriage is a sacrament, and that all sacraments confer grace, and yet denies it to her clergy: a

manifest indication, that they have their graceless designs to promote by it; especially since, at the same time, the want of those parts, which they will not allow them to make use of in a regular way, renders them incapable of being priests, according to their canons; but yet they are so kind to their gelded martyrs, as to allow it to be sufficient, if they have them about them in powder, or any other way.

These things confirm, in a literal sense, the odious characters given the church of Rome, in the Revelations, chap. xvii, xviii. &c. as, the great whore, with whom the kings and inhabitants of the earth have committed fornication; the mother of harlots and abominations of the earth, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations, and of the filthiness of her fornications,' &c. Then, since, by the testimony of God and man, the Romish clergy is such an impure and lascivious crew, it makes a law of castration a just and adequate punishment for them.

To conclude: since our King and Parliament have both testified their zeal and forwardness to suppress immorality and profaneness, it follows naturally, that such a law as this deserves their serious thoughts; for it is impossible to suppress reigning vice, so long as those goatish fellows are suffered to swarm among us. They not only corrupt the morals of people themselves, by such practices and principles as above mentioned, but bring over and encourage others to do it, particularly those Italians, &c. who sell and print Aretin's Postures; and, in order to debauch the minds of women, and to make them guilty of unnatural crimes, invent and sell them such things, as modesty forbids to name. It is evident, that, as popery advanced upon us in the late reigns, debauchery gained ground at the same time, for they naturally make way for one another; and therefore we can never suppress immorality, without securing ourselves effectually against popery. If this should be attempted by a law of castration against Romish priests, it must be owned, that it would be more charitable and humane to save ourselves from popish superstition, and all its mischievous consequences, by that method alone, than to practise it, together with other punishments, upon such of those wretches as come to the gibbet for treason. The cutting off their privities in such cases, and throwing them into the fire, just before they be totally bereft of life, can be of no manner of use; whereas castration alone, before hand, might have saved us from the danger of their plots, and prevented themselves from coming to the gallows.

LABOUR IN VAIN;

OR,

WHAT SIGNIFIES LITTLE OR NOTHING? Viz.

I. The Poor Man's Petitioning at Court.

II. Expectation of Benefit from a covetous Man in his Life-time. III. The Marriage of an Old Man to a Young Woman.

IV. Endeavours to regulate Men's Mauners by Preaching or Writing.

V. Being a Jacobite.

VI. Confining an Insolvent Debtor.

VII. Promise of Secrecy in a Conspiracy.

VIII. An Enquiry after a Place.

London: Printed and sold by most Booksellers in London and Westminster, 1700. Quarto, containing thirty-two Pages.

A Dialogue between the Author and the Printer.

Printer. W

tle or Nothing?

HAT title do you design to give this book?

Author. Labour in Vain: or, What signifies Lit

Printer. Then I am like to make a very hopeful bargain this morning; and grow rich like a Jacobite, that would part with his property, for a speculative bubble.

Author. Be not angry; for the same estimate and epithet the greatest divines give to the whole world.

Printer. I do not like their characters, or epithets; for I believe there is a real value in our coin; and I know little of their spiritual notions, neither will I puzzle my head about what they tell me, I cannot rightly understand.

Author. I could convince you, that you are in the wrong; in being so indifferent about enquiring into the cause, nature, and value of things.

Printer. I am, in this point, a quaker; and will not by reason be convinced. Pray, Sir, tell me, Am I to buy a shop full of empty pasteboard-boxes, or not?

Author. Sir, they are full.

Printer, Why, then do you put over the door, that the goods Signify Little, or Nothing? It is a strange sort of information, to expect to get customers by.

Author. I had several reasons that induced me to put this title to my book; and, not to keep you longer upon the fret, I will tell you some of them: first, the natural inquisitive humour, that reigns in all mankind, after novelty; for no sooner will the title be