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Twould still keep a taste for Hell's music alive, Sixteen hundred and sixty, who only wants thawing
Could we get up a thund'ring No-Popery cry ;- To serve for our times quite as well as the Peer; That yell which, when chorus'd by laics and clerics, To bring thus to light, not the wisdom alone So like is to ours, in its spirit and tone,
Of our ancestors, such as we find it on shelves, That I often nigh laugh myself into hysterics,
But, in perfect condition, full-wigg’d and full-grown, To think that Religion should make it her own.
To shovel up one of those wise bucks themselves! So, having sent down for the original notes
Oh thaw Mr. Dodsworth and send him safe home, Of the chorus, as sung by your Majesty's choir,
Let him learn nothing useful or new on the way; With a few pints of lava, to gargle the throats
With his wisdom kept snug, from the light let him
come, Of myself and some others, who sing it " with fire,";
And our Tories will hail him with “Hear" and
“ Hurra!" Though I “if the Marseillois Hymn could command Such audience, though yelld by a Sans-culotte What a God-send to them-a good—obsolete man,
Who has never of Locke or Voltaire been a crew, What wonders shall we do, who've men in our band,
reader; That not only wear breeches, but petticoats too."
Oh thaw Mr. Dodsworth, as fast as you can,
And the L-nsd-les and H-rtf-rds shall chuse him for Such then were my hopes; but, with sorrow, your
Yes, sleeper of ages, thou shalt be their Chosen ; I'm forced to confess—be the cause what it will, Whether fewness of voices, or hoarseness, or shy. To think that all Europe has, since thou wert frozen,
And deeply with thee will they sorrow, good men, ness, Our Beelzebub Chorus has gone off but ill.
So alter'd, thou hardly canst know it again. The truth is, no placeman now knows his right key, And Eld-n will weep o'er each sad innovation The Treasury pitch-pipe of late is so various ;
Such oceans of tears, thou wilt fancy that he
Has been also laid up in a long congelation,
And is only now thawing, dear Roger, like thee Even some of our Reverends might have been warmer
THE MILLENNIUM. But one or two capital roarers we've had ; Doctor Wiseis, for instance, a charming performer, SUGGESTED BY THE LATE WORK OF THE REVEREND And Huntingdon Maberly's yell was not bad.
MR. IRV-NG“ON PROPHECY."
A MILLENNIUM at hand!--I'm delighted to hear it Altogether, however, the thing was not hearty ;
As matters, both public and private, now go, Even Eld-n allows we got on but so so;
With multitudes round us all starving, or near it, And, when next we attempt a No-Popery party,
A good rich Millennium will come propos. We must, please your Highness, recruit from below.
Only think, Master Fred, what delight to behold, But, hark, the young Black-leg is cracking his whip
Instead of thy bankrupt old City of Rags, Excuse me, Great Sir-there's no time to be
A bran-new Jerusalem, built all of gold,
Sound bullion throughout, from the roof to the The next opportunity shan't be let slip,
flagsBut, till then, I'm, in haste, your most dutiful
A city, where wine and cheap corn' shall abound, DEVIL.
A celestial Cocuig ne, on whose buttery shelves We may swear the best things of this world will be
found, MR. ROGER DODSWORTH.
As your saints seldom fail to take care of them
selves ! TO THE EDITOR OF THE TIMES.
Thanks, reverend expounder of raptures elysian,? Sir,-Living in a remote part of Scotland, and
Divine Squintifobus, who, placed within reach having but just heard of the wonderful resurrection of two opposite worlds, by a twist of your vision of Mr. Roger Dodsworth from under an avalanche,
Can cast, at the same time, a sly look at each ;where he had remained, bien frappe, it seems, for the Thanks, thanks for the hope thou hast given us, that last 166 years, I hasten to impart to you a few reflections on the subject.
May, even in our own times, a jubilee share,
Which so long has been promised by prophets like
And so often has fail'd, we began to despair. What a lucky turn-up!—just as Eld-n's withdrawing, To find thus a gentleman, frozen in the year 1 " A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures
of barley for a prany."--krv. c. 6. I Con fuoco-a music-book direction.
2 See the oration of this reverend gentleman, where he 2 This reverend gentleman distinguished himself at the describes the connubial joys of paradise, and paints the Reading election
angels hovering around "ench happy fair."
There was Whiston,' who learnedly took Prince
All belied, ure his book's first edition was out;-
Who discoursed on the subject with signal eclat, And, each day of his life, sat expecting to see
A Millennium break out in the town of Armagh !? There was also—but why should I burden my lay With your Brotherses, Southcotes, and names less
To the last new Millennium of Orator Irv-ng.
Dr. Eady, less bold, I confess,
Attacks but his maid of all work.'
Both a laureate and senator is;
Dr. Eady, alack,
That, though little blood has been spilt, he
The Chulking Act, known to be guilty.
(With whose catalogue ne'er should I stop)
to which of the three Great Doctors the preference should fall, As a matter of course, I agree
Dr. Eady must go to the wall.
And Slop with a wig and a tail is,
With a swinging "Corona Muralis!"9
THE THREE DOCTORS.
Doctoribus laiamur tribus.
Though many great Doctors there be,
There are three that all Doctors o'ertop, Dr. Eady, that famous M. D.
Dr. S—they, and dear Doctor Slop.
All quacks in a different style;
Dr. Eady writes puffs by the mile!
By his scribbling or physicking brother, Can dose us with stuff like the one,
Ay, and doze us with stuff like the other. Dr. Eady good company keeps
With “No Popery" scribes on the walls; Dr. S--they as gloriously sleeps
With “ No Popery" scribes, on the stalls. Dr. Slop, upon subjects divine,
Such bedlamite slaver lets drop, That, if Eady should take the mad line,
He'll be sure of a patient in Slop. Seven millions of Papists, no less,
Dr. Sthey attacks, like a Turk ;)
EPITAPH ON A TUFT-HUNTER.
Put mourning round thy page, Debrett,
A Viscount to a Marquis yet.
Before him Beauty's rosiest girls,
And Love's own sister for an Earl's,
He took, of course, to peers' relations ;
Put up with even the last creations.
With “ Lord" and “Duke," were sweet to call,
Was better than no Lord at all.
For, rest his soul, he'd rather be
Than saved in vulgar company.
OF THE ORANGEMEN OF IRELAND. 1 When Whiston presented to Prince Eugene the Essay To the People of England, the humble Petition in which he attempted to connect his victories over the Turks with revelation, the Princo is said to have replied that Of Ireland's disconsolate Orangemen, showing"he was not aware he had ever had the honour of being known to St. John."
every irreligious and seditione journali-t, every open ai! 2 Mr. Dobbs was a Member of the Irish Parliament, and, every insidious enemy to Monarchy nud to Christianity." on all other subjects but the Millennium, a very sensible per- i See the lato accounts in the newspapers of the appear. son. He chose Armagh as the scene of the Millennium, on ance of this gentleman at one of the police offices, in const account of the name Armageddon, mentioned in Revelation! quence of an alleged assault upon his "maid of all work."
3 This Seraphic Doctor, in the preface to his last work 2 A crown granted as a reward among the Romans 10 per (Vindicia Ecclesia Anglicane,) is pleased to anathema- sons who performed any extraordinary exploits upon walls tize not only all Catholics, but all advocates of Catholics :- such as scaling them, battering them, etc. No doubt, " They have for their immediate allies (he says) erery fac- writing upon thein, to the extent that Dr. Eady does, would tion that is banded against the Siate, every demagogue, equally establish a claim to the honour.
BY THE AUTHOR OF CHRISTABEL
r bat sad, very sad, is our present condition ;- That relying on England, whose kindness already That our jobs are all gone, and our noble selves So often has help'd us to play the game o'er, going;
We have got our red coats and our carabines ready
And wait but the word to show sport, as before. That, forming one seventh-within a few fractions
Of Ireland's seven millions of hot heads and hearts, That, as to the expense—the few millions, or so, We hold it the basest of all base transactions
Which for all such diversions Johu Bull has to To keep us from murdering the other six parts ;
"T is, at least, a great comfort to John Bull to know That, as to laws made for the good of the many,
That to Orangemen's pockets 't will all find its We humbly suggest there is nothing less true;
way. As all human laws (and our own, more than any) Are made by and for a particular few ;
For which your petitioners ever will pray,
etc. etc. etc. etc. etc That much it delights every true Orange brother
To see you, in England, such ardour evince,
since ;That we love to behold, while Old England grows One hasty orison whirl'd me away
“ Up!" said the Spirit, and, ere I could pray faint, Messrs
. Southey and Butler near coming to blows, To a limbo, lying—I wist not whereTo decide whether Dunstan, that strong-bodied saint, All glimmering o'er with a doubtful light,
Above or below, in earth or air ; Ever truly and really pulld the devil's nose;
One could n't say whether 't was day or night , Whether t other saint, Dominic, burnt the devil's And crost by many a mazy track,
One did n't know how to get on or back ; pawWhether Edwy intrigued with Elgiva's old mo- And, I felt like a needle that is going astray ther
(With its one eye out) through a bundle of hay; And many such points, from which Southey doth When the Spirit he grinn'd, and whisper'd me, draw
“ Thou 'rt now in the Court of Chancery !" Conclusions most apt for our hating each other.
Around me flitted unnumber'd swarms That 't is very well known this devout Irish nation Of shapeless, bodiless, tailless forms ;
Has now, for some ages gone happily on, (Like bottled up babes, that grace the room Believing in two kinds of Substantiation,
Of that worthy knight, Sir Everard Home) One party in Trans, and the other in Con ;' All of them things half kill'd in rearing;
Some were lame-some wanted hearing ; Chat we, your petitioning Cons, have, in right Some had through half a century run,
Of the said monosyllable, ravaged the lands, Though they had n't a leg to stand upon. And embezzled the goods, and annoy'd, day and Others, more merry, as just beginning, night,
Around on a point of law were spinning; Both the bodies and souls of the sticklers for Or balanced aloft, twixt Bill and Answer, Trans;
Lead at each end-like a tight-rope dancer.That we trust to Peel, Eldon, and other such sages,
Some were so cross, that nothing could please 'em ;
Some gulp'd down affidavits to ease 'm ;For keeping us still in the same state of mind;
All were in motion, yet never a one, Pretty much as the world used to be in those ages,
Let it move as it might, could ever move on. When still smaller syllables madden'dl mankind;
“These," said the Spirit, "you plainly see, When the words er and perd served as well, to annoy Are what are called Suits in Chancery!" One's neighbours and friends with, as con and trans I heard a loud screaming of old and young, now;
Like a chorus by fifty Velutis sung; And Christians, like Southey, who stickled for oi,
Or an Irish Dump ("the words by Moore") Cut the throats of all Christians, who stickled for
At an amateur concert screnm'd in score :ou.
So harsh on my ear that wailing fell
or the wretches who in this Limbo dwell! 1 To such important discussions as these the greater part It seem'd like the dismal symphony of Dr. Southey': V'indiciæ Ecclesiæ Inglicano is devoted. Of the shapes Æneas in hell did see;
2 Consubstantiation-the true reformed belief; at least, Or those frogs, whose legs a barbarous cook
3 When John of Ragusa went to Constantinople (at the To cry all night, till life's last dregs,
4 The Arian controversy:- Before that time, saya Hooker, When the Spirit replied, with a grin of glee,
look'd, and I saw a wizard rise,
In N. lat. 21.)-and his Highness Burmese, With a wig like a cloud before men's eyes.
Being very hard prest to shell out the rupees, In his aged hand he held a wand,
But not having much ready rhino, they say, meani Wherewith he beckon'd his embryo band,
To pawn his august golden foot' for the payment.And they moved, and moved, as he waved it o'er, (How lucky for monarchs, that can, when they chuse, But they never got on one inch the more ;
Thus establish a running account with the Jews!) And still they kept limping to and fro,
The security being what Rothschild calls “goot." Like Ariels round old Prospero
A loan will be forthwith, of course, set on foot ;-Saying, “Dear Master, let us go ;"
The parties are Rothschild-A. Baring and Co., But still old Prospero answer'd, " No."
And three other great pawnbrokers--each takes a toe, And I heard the while, that wizard elf,
And engages (lest Gold-foot should give us leg-bail, Muttering, muttering spells to himself,
As he did once before) to pay down on the nail. While over as many old papers be turn'd,
This is all for the present,—what vile pens and paper! As Hume ere moved for, or Omar burn'd. He talk'd of his Virtue, though some, less nice,
Yours truly, dear Cousin,--best love to Miss Draper (He own'd with a sigh) preferr'd his ViceAnd he said, “I think"_“I doubt"_“I hope,” Call'd God to witness, and damn'd the Pope ;
SUNG BY THE BUBBLE SPIRIT.
AIR"Come with me, and we will go
Where the rocks of coral grow."
Come with me, and we will blow
Lots of bubbles, as we go ; Found the Spirit, the imps, and the conjurer fled,
Bubbles, bright as ever Hope And bless'd my stars, right pleased to see
Drew from Fancy-or from soap;
Bright as e'er the South Sea sent
Come with me, and we will blow
Lots of bubbles as we go.
Mix the lather, JOHNNY W-LKS, When Parliament's up, ever take in a paper,
Thou who rhymest so well to “bilks :"9
Fitter for such task than thee,
Great M. P. for Sudsbury !
Now the frothy charm is ripe, As to Greece and Lord Cochrane, things could n't
Puffing Peter, bring thy pipe,look better
Thou, whom ancient Coventry, His Lordship (who promises now to fight faster)
Once so dearly loved, that she Had just taken Rhodes, and despatch'd off a letter
Knew not which to her was sweeter,
Puff the bubbles high in air,
Puff thy best to keep them there
Bravo, bravo, PETER M-RE!
Now the rainbow humbugs soar, Being made the Colossus, 't is all one to him.
Glittering all with golden hues, From Russia the last accounts are, that the Czar
Such as haunt the dreams of Jews Most generous and kind, as all sovereigns are,
Some, reflecting mines that lie
Under Chili's glowing sky;
Cloister'd in the southern deep;
1 This Potentate styles himself the Monarch of the Gold One night-cap a-piece (if he has them to spare)
en Fout. On all the distinguish'd old ladies now going. 2 Strong indications of character may be sometimes (While I write, an arrival from Riga" the Bro-raced in the rhymes to names. Marvell thought so, when
" Sir Edward Sutton, Having night-caps on board for Lord Eld-n and The foolish knight who rhymes to mutton." others.)
3 An humble imitation of one of our modern poets, who Last advices from India-Sir Archy, 't is thought,
in a poem against war, after describing the splendid habili
ments of the soldier, apostrophizes him thou rainbow Was near catching a Tartar (the first ever caught ruffian!"
BY SIR W. CORTIS.
Others, as if lent a ray
A goodly man, with an eye so merry, From the streaming Milky Way,
I knew 't was our Foreign Secretary, Glistening o'er with curds and whey
Who there, at his ease, did sit and smile, From the cows of Alderney!
Like Waterton on his crocodile ;
Cracking such jokes, at every motion, Now 's the moment--who shall first
As made the turtle squeak with glee, Catch the bubbles ere they burst ?
And own that they gave him a lively notion Run, ye squires, ye viscounts, run,
or what his own forced-meat balls would be. BR-GD-N, T-YNH-u, P-LM-RST-N;JOHN W-LKsy junior, runs beside ye,
So, on the Sec., in his glory, went, Take the good the knaves provide ye!'
Over the briny element, See, with upturn's eyes and hands,
Waving his hand, as he took farewell, Where the Chareman,? BR-GD-N, stands,
With a graceful air, and bidding me tell Gaping for the froth to fall
Inquiring friends, that the turtle and he Down his swallow4lye and all !
Were gone on a foreign embassy
To soften the heart of a Diplovrate,
Who is known to doat upon verdant fat,
And to let'admiring Europe see, Scatter'd by the cannon's thunder,
That calipash and calipee Burst, ye bubbles, all asunder!
Are the English forms of Diplomacy! Here the stage darkens,--a discordant crash is heard from the orchestra—the broken bubbles descend in a
A VOICE FROM MARATHON.
To breathe the word-Arise !
Let every Greek arise !
Ye who have hearts to strike a single blow,
Hear my despairing cries !
Ye who have hands to immolate one foe, 'T was evening time, in the twilight sweet
Arise! arise! arise !
From the dinti fields of Asphodel beneath, * On the service of his Majesty!"
Upborne by cloudy sighs
Of those who love their country still in death, When I spied him first, in the twilight dim,
E'en I-e'en arise!
These are not hands for earthly wringing-theseHis fins, and rollid from side to side,
Blood should not blind these eyes ! Conceitedly over the watery path
Yet here I stand, untomb'd MILTIADES, " 'Tis my Lord of St-w-LL, taking a bath,
Weeping-arise ! arise ! And I hear him now, among the fishes,
Hear ye the groans that heave this burial-field ?Quoting Vatel and Burgerdiscius!"
Old Græcia's saviour-band But, no-'t was, indeed, a turtle, wide
Cry from the dust-"Fight on! por DARE to yield ! And plump as ever these eyes descried ;
Save ye our father-land! A turtle, juicy as ever yet
“ Blunt with your bosom the barbaric spear ! Glued up the lips of a baronet !
Break it within your breast ; Ah, much did it grieve my soul to see
Then come, brave Greek! and join your brothers That an animal of such dignity,
here Like an absentee, abroad should roam,
In our immortal rest!" When be ought to stay and be ate, at home.
Shall modern Datis, swoln with Syrian pride,
Cover the land with slaves ?-
Cover it with their graves!
Much has been done-but more remains to do
Ye have fought long and well! 1 " Lovely Thais site beside thee,
The trump that, on the Egean, glory blew,
Seem'd with a storm to swell!
Asia's grim tyrant shudder'd at the sound, matic tartlo described him as on his Majesty's service."
He leap'd upon his throne!
Murmur'd his horse-tail'd chieftainry around
" Another Marathon!"