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I have not yet heard any further particulars, which are to be observed in this society of unfledged statesmen; but I must confess, had I a son of five-andtwenty, that should take it in his head, at that age, to set up for a politician, I think I should go near to disinherit him for a blockhead. Besides, I should be apprehensive lest the same arts which are to enable him to negociate between potentates, might a little infect his ordinary behaviour between man and man. There is no question but these young Machiavels will, in a little time, turn their college upside-down with plots and stratagems, and lay as many schemes to circumvent one another in a frog or a salad, as they may hereafter put in practice to over-reach a neighbouring prince or state.
We are told that the Spartans, though they punished theft in their young men, when it was discovered, looked upon it as honourable if it succeeded. Provided the conveyance was clean and unsuspected, a youth might afterwards boast of it, This, says the historians, was to keep them sharp, and to hinder them from being imposed upon, either in their public or private negociations. Whether any such relaxations of morality, such little jeux d'esprit, ought not to be allowed in this intended seminary of politicians, I shall leave to the wisdom of their founder.
In the mean time we have fair warning given us, by this doughty body of statesmen; and as Sylla saw many Mariuses in Cæsar, so I think we may discover many Torcys' in this college of academicians. Whatever we think of ourselves, I am afraid neither our Smyrna or St. James's will be a match for it. Our coffee-houses are, indeed, very good institutions; but whether or no these our British schools of politics may furnish out as able envoys and secretaries as an academy that is set apart for that purpose, will deserve our serious consideration; especially if we remember that our country is more famous for
producing men of integrity than statesmen; and that, on the contrary, French truth and British policy make a conspicuous figure in nothing, as the Earl of Rochester has very well observed, in his admirable poem upon that barren subject..
No. 311. TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 26.
Nec veneris pharetris macer est; aut lampade fervet:
I AM amazed that among all the variety of characters with which you have enriched your Speculations, you have never given us a picture of those audacious young fellows among us, who commonly go by the name of fortune-stealers. You must know, Sir, I am one who lives in a continual apprehension of this sort of people, that lie in wait, day and night, for our children, and may be considered as a kind of kidnappers within the law. I am the father of a young heiress, whom I begin to look upon as marriageable, and who has looked upon herself as such for above these six years. She is now in the eighteenth year of her age. The fortunehunters have already cast their eyes upon her, and take care to plant themselves in her view, whenever she appears in any public assembly. I have myself caught a young jack-a-napes, with a pair of silver fringed gloves, in the very fact. You must know, Sir, I have kept her as a prisoner of state ever since she was in her teens. Her chamber windows are cross-barred, and she is not permitted to go out of the house but with her keeper, who is a staid relation of my own; I have likewise forbid her the use of pen and ink for these twelve months last past, and do not suffer a bandbox to be carried into her room before it has been searched. Notwithstanding these
precautions, I am at my wits end for fear of any sudden surprise. There were, two or three nights ago, some fiddles heard in the street, which I am afraid portend me no good; not to mention a tall Irishman, that has been walking before my house more than once this winter. My kinswoman likewise informs me, that the girl has talked to her twice or thrice of a gentleman in a fair wig, and that she loves to go to church more than ever she did in her life. She gave me the slip about a week ago, which my whole house was in an alarm. I imupon which mediately dispatched a hue and cry after to the 'Change, to her mantua-maker, and to the young ladies that visit her; but, after above an hour's search, she returned of herself, having been taking a walk, as she told me, by Rosamond's pond. I have hereupon turned off her woman, doubled her guards, given new instructions to my relation, who, to give her her due, keeps a watchful eye over all her motions. This, Sir, keeps me in a perpetual anxiety, and makes me very often watch when my daughter sleeps, as I am afraid she is even with me in her turn. Now, Sir, what I would desire of you is, to represent to this fluttering sort of young fellows, who are for making their fortunes by these indirect means, that stealing a man's daughter for the sake of her portion, is but a kind of tolerated robbery; and that they make but a poor amends to the father, whom they plunder after this manner, by going to bed with his child. Dear Sir, be speedy in your thoughts on this subject, that, if possible, they may appear before the disbanding of the army. "I am, SIR,
Your most humble servant,
Themistocles, the great Athenian general, being asked whether he would chuse to marry his daughter to an indigent man of merit, or to a worthless man
of an estate, replied, that he would prefer a man without an estate, to an estate without a man. The worst of it is, our modern fortune-hunters are those who turn their heads that way, because they are good for nothing else. If a young fellow finds he can make nothing of Coke and Littleton, he provides himself with a ladder of ropes, and by that means very often enters upon the premises.
The same art of scaling has likewise been practised with good success by many military engineers. Stratagems of this nature make parts and industry superfluous, and cut short the way to riches.
Nor is vanity a less motive than idleness to this kind of mercenary pursuit. A fop, who admi his person in a glass, soon enters into a resolution of making his fortune by it, not questioning but every woman that falls in his way, will do him as much justice as he does himself. When an heiress sees a man throwing particular glances into his ogle, or talking loud within her hearing, she ought to look to herself; but if withal she observes a pair of red heels, a patch, or any other particularity in his dress, she cannot take too much care of her person. These are baits not to be trifled with, charms that have done a world of execution, and made their way into hearts which have been thought impregnable. The force of a man with these qualifications is so well known, that I am credibly informed, there are several female undertakers about the 'Change, who, upon the arrival of a likely man out of a neighbouring kingdom, will furnish him with proper dress from head to foot, to be paid for at a double price on the day of marriage.
We must, however, distinguish between fortunehunters and fortune-stealers. The first are those assiduous gentlemen who employ their whole lives in the chace, without ever coming at the quarry. Suffenus has combed and powdered at the ladies for thirty years together, and taken his stand in a side
box, until he is grown. wrinkled under their eyes. He is now laying the same snares for the present generation of beauties which he practised on their mothers. Cottilus, after having made his applications to more than you meet with in Mr. Cowley's ballad of mistresses, was at last smitten with a city lady of 20,000l. sterling; but died of old age before he could bring matters to bear. Nor must I here omit my worthy friend Mr. Honeycomb, who has often told us in the club, that for twenty years suc cessively, upon the death of a childless rich man, he immediately drew on his boots, called for his horse, and made up to the widow. When he is rallied upon his ill success, Will with his usual gaiety tells us, that he always found her pre-engaged.
Widows are, indeed, the great game of your fortune-hunters. There is scarce a young fellow in the town of six feet high, that has not passed in review before one or other of these wealthy relicts. Hudibras's Cupid, who
-took his stand
Upon a widow's jointure land,
is daily employed in throwing darts, and kindling flames. But as for widows, they are such a subtle generation of people, that they may be left to their own conduct; for if they make a false step in it, they are answerable for it to nobody but themselves. The young, innocent creatures, who have no knowledge and experience of the world, are those whose safety I would principally consult in this Speculation. The stealing of such a one should, in my opinion, be as punishable as a rape. Where there is no judgment, there is no choice; and why the inveigling a woman before she is come to years of discretion, should not be as criminal as the seducing of her before she is ten years old, I am at a loss to comprehend,