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chafm? Was the eye filent? Did you narrowly look? - I looked only at the ftop-watch, my lord.Excellent obferver!
AND what of this new book the whole world makes such a rout about?-Oh! 'tis out of all plumb, my lord,—quite an irregular thing! not one of the angles at the four corners was a right angle.I had my rule and compaffes, my lord, in my pocket. -Excellent critic!
AND, for the epic poem your lordship bid me look at-upon taking the length, breadth, height, and depth of it, and trying them at home upon an exact fcale of Boffu's-'tis out, my lord, in every one of its dimenfions.-Admirable connoiffeur !
AND did you step in to take a look at the grand picture, in your way back?-Tis a melancholy daub! my lord: not one principle of the pyramid, in any one group! and what a price!--for there is nothing of the colouring of Titian-the expreffion of Rubens--the grace of Raphael-the purity of Dominichino-the corregiefcity of Corregio--the learning of Pouffin- the airs of Guido-the taste of the Carrachi's-or the grand contour of Angelo !
GRANT me patience!-Of all the Cants, which are canted, in this canting world-though the cant of hypocrites, may be the worst-the cant of criticifm, is the moft tormenting!
I would go fifty miles on foot, to kifs the hand of that man, whole generous heart, will give up the reigns of his imagination into his author's hands, be pleased, he knows not why, and cares not wherefore.
VARIO U-S CHARACTERS.
T is a very common expreffion, That such a one is very paffionate, but very good-natured. The expreffion, indeed, is very good-natured: but, for my part, I think, a paffionate man does not deferve fo much indulgence. It is faid, it is foon over: that is, all the mifchief he does, is quickly difpatched; which, I think is no great recommendation to favour. I have known one of thofe good-natured paffionate men, fay, in a mixed company, even to his own wife or child, fuch things, as the most inveterate enemy of his family, would not have spoken, even in imagination. It is certain, that quick fenfibility is infeparable from a ready understanding; but, why fhould not that good understanding call to itfelf all its force on fuch occafions, to mafter that fudden inclination to anger? One of the greatest fouls, now in the world, is, by nature, the most fubject to anger; and, yet, fo famous for a conquest of himself this way, that he is the known example, when you talk of temper and command of a man's felf. To contain the spirit of anger, is the worthiest difcipline we can put ourselves to. When a man has made a progrefs this way, a frivolous fellow in a paffion, is to him as contemptible as a froward child. It ought to be the ftudy of every man, for his own quiet and peace. When he ftands combuftible, and ready to fame, upon every thing that touches him, life is as uneasy to himself, as it is to all about him. Syncropius leads, of all men living, the most ridiculous life he is ever offending, and begging pardon.
pardon. If his man enters the room without what he fent for, "That blockhead," begins he "Gentlemen, I ask your pardon; but fervants, "now-a-days"-The wrong plates are laid- they are thrown into the middle of the room. His wife ftands by, in pain for him; which he fees in her face, and anfwers, as if he had heard all fhe was thinking; "Why, what the devil! why don't 66 you take care to give orders about these things?" His friends fit down to a tastelefs plenty of every thing, every minute expecting new infults from his impertinent paffion. In a word, to eat with, or vifit Syncropius, is no other than going to fee him exercise his family, exercise their patience, and his own anger.
Ir is monftrous, that the fhame and confufion, in which fuch good-natured angry men muft needs behold their friends, while they are thus laying about them, do not give them fo much reflection, as to create an amendment. This is the moft fcandalous difufe of reason imaginable. All the harmless part of them, is no better than that of a bull-dog: they are tame, no longer, than they are offended. One of these perfons fhall, in an inftant, affemble together, fo many allufions to 'fecret circumstances, as are enough to diffolve the peace of all the families and friends he is acquainted with, in a quarter of an hour; and, yet, the next moment, be the best natured man in the whole world.-If you would fee paffion in its purity, without any mixture of reason, behold it reprefented in a mad hero, drawn by a mad poet. Nat. Lee makes his Alexander fay thus:
Away! begone! and give a whirlwind room;
Fury! Revenge! Difdain and indignation! Tear my fwoln breast. Make way for fire and tempest!
My brain is burft: debate and reafon quench'd. The ftorm is up; and my hot bleeding heart Splits with the rack: while paffions, like the winds, Rife up to heav'n, and put out all the ftars.
Every paffionate fellow in town, talks half the day, with as little confiftency, and threatens things as much out of his power.
THE next difagreeable perfon to the outrageous gentleman, is one of a much lower order of anger; and he is, what we commonly call, a peevish fellow. A peevish fellow, is one, who has fome reason in himself for being out of humour: or has a natural incapacity for delight; and, therefore, difturbs all who are happier than himself, with tubes and pfhaws, or other well-bred interjections, at every thing that is faid or done in his prefence. This degree of anger, paffes, forfooth, for a delicacy of judgment, that will not admit of being eafily pleafed but none above the character of wearing a peevish man's livery, ought to bear with his ill manners. All things, among men of fenfe and condition, fhould pass the cenfure, and have the protection, of the eye of reafon.
NEXT to the peevish fellow, is the fnarler. This gentleman deals mightily in what we call the irony; and, as people of this caft exert themfelves most against thofe below them, you fee their humour best, in their talk to their fervants. That is fo like you; you are a fine fellow; thou art the quickeft head piece;" and the like.
ONE would think, the hectoring, the forming, the fullen, and all the different fpecies and fubordinations of the angry, fhould be cured by knowing they live only as pardoned men and, how pitiful is the condition of being only fuffered ?-But I am interrupted, by the pleasanteft fcene of anger, and the disappointment of it, that I have ever known; which I overheard at a French bookfeller's while I was writing.
THERE came into the shop, a very learned man, with an erect folemn air; and, tho' a person of great parts otherwise, flow in understanding any thing which makes against himself. The compofure of the faulty man, and the whimfical perplexity of him that was justly angry, is perfectly new. After turning over many volumes, faid the feller to the buyer-Sir, you know I have long asked you to fend me back the first volume of French fermons I formerly lent you. Sir, faid the chapman, I have often looked for it, but cannot find it: it is eertainly loft; and I know not to whom I lent it, it is fo many years ago. Then, Sir, here is the other volume; I'll send you home that, and please to pay for both. My friend, replied he, can't thou be fo fenseless, as not to know, that one volume is as imperfect, in my library, as in your fhop? Yes, Sir; but it is you have loft the first volume; and, to be short, I will be paid. Sir, answered the chapman, you are a young man; your book is loft; and, learn, by this little lofs, to bear much greater adverfities, which you must expect to meet with. Yes, Sir, I'll bear when I muft; but I have not loft now, for I fay you have it, and fhall pay me. Friend, you grow warm: I tell you the book is loft; and, I foresee, in the courfe, even of a profperous life, that you will meet afflictions to make you mad,