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What signifies his barren shine

Of moral powers and reason?
His English style and gesture fine
Are a' clean out o' season.
Like Socrates or Antonine,

Or some auld pagan heathen,
The moral man he does define,
But ne'er a word o' faith in
That's right that day

In guid time comes an antidote
Against sic poisoned nostrum ;
For Peebles, frae the Water-fit,1
Ascends the holy rostrum:


See, up he's got the Word o' God,
And meek and mim has viewed it,
While Common Sense has ta'en the road,
And aff and up the Cowgate,2

Fast, fast that day.

rational mode of preaching, but the friends of the divine regarded the stanza as calculated to injure his popularity.

1 The Rev. Mr. (afterwards Dr.) William Peebles, minister of Newton-upon-Ayr, often called, from its geographical situation, the Water-fit. He was in great favor at Ayr among the orthodox party, though much inferior in ability to the moderate ministers of that ancient burgh.

2 The Cowgate is a street running off the main one of Mauchline, exactly opposite the entrance to the church-yard. The sense of the passage might be supposed allegorical, and this is the theory which the present editor is inclined to adopt. He must, however, state that a more literal sense is attached to it by the best-informed persons in Mauchline. It is said that Mr. Mackenzie, the surgeon of the village, and a friend of Burns, had recently written on some controversial topic

Wee Miller1 niest the guard relieves,

And orthodoxy raibles,

Though in his heart he weel believes,

And thinks it auld wives' fables: But, faith! the birkie wants a manse, So, cannily he hums them; Although his carnal wit and sense Like hafflins-ways o'ercomes him At times that day.





Now but and ben the change-house fills, throughout Wi' yill-caup commentators;


Here's crying out for bakes and gills, biscuits

And there the pint-stoup clatters ;

While thick and thrang, and loud and lang, Wi' logic and wi' scripture,

They raise a din, that, in the end,

Is like to breed a rupture

O' wrath that day.

under the title of Common Sense. On the particular day which Burns is supposed to have had in view, Mackenzie was engaged to join Sir John Whitefoord of Ballochmyle, and go to Dumfries House, in Auchinleck parish, in order to dine with the Earl of Dumfries. The doctor, therefore, after attending church, and listening to some of the out-door harangues, was seen to leave the assembly, and go off along the Cowgate, on his way to Ballochmyle, exactly as Peebles ascended the rostrum.

1 The Rev. Mr. Miller, afterwards minister of Kilmaurs. He was of remarkably low stature, but enormous girth. Burns believed him at the time to lean at heart to the moderate party. This stanza, virtually the most depreciatory in the whole poem, is said to have retarded Miller's advancement.

Leeze me on drink! it gies us mair Commend to

Than either school or college:
It kindles wit, it waukens lair,

It pangs us fou o' knowledge.
Be 't whisky gill, or penny wheep,
Or ony stronger potion,

It never fails, on drinking deep,
To kittle up our notion

By night or day.

The lads and lasses, blithely bent
To mind baith saul and body,
Sit round the table weel content,
And steer about the toddy.




On this ane's dress, and that ane's leuk,
They're making observations;

While some are cozie i̇' the neuk,

And formin' assignations

To meet some day.

But now the L-'s ain trumpet touts,

Till a' the hills are rairin',

And echoes back return the shouts

Black Russell1 is na sparin' :



1 The Rev. John Russell, at this time minister of the Chapelof-Ease, Kilmarnock, afterwards minister of Stirling, one of the heroes of The Twa Herds. A correspondent says: "He was the most tremendous man I ever saw: Black Hugh Macpherson was a beauty in comparison. His voice was like thunder, and his sentiments were such as must have shocked any class of hearers in the least more refined than those whom he usually addressed."

His piercing words, like Highland swords,
Divide the joints and marrow;
His talk o' hell, whare devils dwell,
Our vera sauls does harrow 1

Wi' fright that day.

A vast, unbottomed, boundless pit,
Filled fou o' lowin' brunstane,

Wha's ragin' flame, and scorchin' heat,
Wad melt the hardest whunstane!

The half-asleep start up wi' fear,

And think they hear it roarin',
When presently it does appear
"Twas but some neebor snorin',
Asleep that day.

'Twad be owre lang a tale to tell How monie stories past,

And how they crowded to the yill,

When they were a' dismist:



How drink gaed round, in cogs and caups, pails Amang the forms and benches:

And cheese and bread, frae women's laps,

Was dealt about in lunches,

And dauds that day.


In comes a gaucy, gash guidwife, fat-talkative And sits down by the fire,

Syne draws her kebbuck and her knife; cheese

1 Shakspeare's Hamlet. B.

The lasses they are shyer.

The auld guidmen, about the grace,
Frae side to side they bother,

Till some ane by his bonnet lays,
And gies them't like a tether,
Fu' lang that day.

Waesucks! for him that gets nae lass,
Or lasses that hae naething!
Sma' need has he to say a grace,
Or melvie his braw claithing!

Oh wives, be mindfu' ance yoursel'

How bonny lads ye wanted,

And dinna, for a kebbuck-heel,

Let lasses be affronted

On sic a day!

Now Clinkumbell,1 wi' rattlin' tow,

Begins to jow and croon;

soil with meal


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Some swagger hame, the best they dow,

Some wait the afternoon.

At slaps the billies halt a blink,

-Till lasses strip their shoon :

Wi' faith and hope, and love and drink,

They're a' in famous tune

For crack that day.

How monie hearts this day converts

O' sinners and o' lasses!

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