116 The Soul humbly applies to Christ, Chap. 12, "uttermost (t). And therefore breaking through all the "Oppositions of Shame and Fear, that would keep me "from Thee, I come and lie down as in the Dust before "Thee. Thou knowest, O Lord, all my Sins, and all my "Follies (u). I cannot, and I hope, I may say, I would "not disguise them before Thee, or set myself to find "out plausible Excuses. Accuse me, Lord, as Thou "pleasest: And I will ingeniously plead guilty to all "Thine Accusations. I will own myself as great a Sin66 ner, as Thou callest me: But I am still a Sinner, that comes unto Thee for Pardon. If I must die, it shall "be submitting, and owning the Justice of the fatal Stroke. If I perish, it shall be, laying hold, as it were, 66 on the Horns of the Altar; laying myself down at Thy "Foot-stool, though I have been such a Rebel against "Thy Throne. Many have received a full Pardon "there; have met with Favour even beyond their Hopes. "And are all Thy Compassions, O Blessed Jesus, ex hausted? And wilt Thou now begin fo reject an hum"ble Creature, who flies to Thee for Life, and pleads "nothing but Mercy and Free Grace? Have Mercy upon me, O most gracious Redeemer, have Mercy upon me, and let my Life be precious in Thy Sight (x)! Oh "do not resolve to send me down to that State of final Misery and Despair, from which it was Thy gracious "Purpose to deliver and save so many! "Spurn me not away, O Lord, from Thy Presence, 66 nor be offended when I presume to lay hold on Thy Royal Robe, and say that I cannot and will not let Thee go, till my Suit is granted (y)! Oh remember that all my Hopes of obtaining eternal Happiness, "and avoiding everlasting, helpless, hopeless Destruc tion, are anchored upon Thee; they hang upon Thy Smiles, or drop at Thy Frown. Oh have Mercy upon 66 me, for the Sake of this immortal Soul of mine! Or "if not for the Sake of mine alone, for the Sake of << many others, who may, on the one Hand be encou "raged by Thy Mercy to me, or on the other, may be greatly wounded and discouraged by my helpless Despair! I beseech Thee, O Lord, for Thine own 46 Sake, 66 (t) Heb. vii, 25. (u) Psal, Ixix. 5. (x) 2 Kings i. 14. Chap. 12. and earnestly begs for Mercy. 117 Sake, and for the Display of Thy Father's rich and 66 sovereign Grace! I beseech Thee by the Blood Thou "didst shed on the Cross! I beseech Thee by the Co"venant of Grace and Peace, into which the Father did enter with Thee for the Salvation of believing and 66 repenting Sinners, save me! Save me, O Lord, who " earnestly desire to repent and believe! I am indeed a Sinner, in whose final and everlasting Destruction Thy "Justice might be greatly glorified: But Oh! if Thou wilt pardon me, it will be a Monument raised to the Honour of Thy Grace, and the Efficacy of Thy "Blood, in Proportion to the Degree in which the "Wretch, to whom Thy Mercy is extended, was mean ❝ and miserable without it. Speak, Lord, by Thy Bles sed Spirit, and banish my Fears! Look unto me with "Love and Grace in Thy Countenance, and say to ❝ me, as in the Days of Thy Flesh Thou didst to many an humble Supplicant, Thy Sins are forgiven Thee, go in Peace." CHAP. 118 As there is Danger of mistaking its Case, Chap. 13. CHAP. XIII. The doubting Soul more particularly assisted in its Enquiries as to the Sincerity of its Faith and Repentance. Transient Impressions liable to be mistaken for Conversion, which would be a fatal Error, §. 1. General Schemes for Self-Examination, §. 2. Particular Enquiries; (1.) What Views there have been of Sin 2 §. 3. (2.) What Views there have been of Christ ? §. 4. As to the Need the Soul has of Him; §. 5. And its Willingness tø receive Him, with a due Surrender of Heart to Ilis Service, §. 6. Nothing short of this, sufficient, §. 7. The Soul submitting to divine Examination, the Sincerity of its Faith and Repentance. §. 1. N Consequence of all the serious Things, which have been said in the former Chapters, I hope it will be no false Presumption to imagine, that some Reli, gious Impressions may be made on Hearts which had never felt them before; or may be revived where they have formerly grown cold and languid. Yet I am very sensible, and I desire that you may be so, how great Danger there is in Self-Flattery on this important Head; and how necessary it is to caution Men, against too hasty a Conclusion that they are really converted, because they have felt some warm Emotions on their Minds, and have reformed the gross Irregularities of their former Conduct. A Mistake here might be infinitely fatal: It may prove the Occasion of that false Peace, which shall lead a Man to bless himself in his own Heart, and to conclude himself secure, while all the Threatenings and Curses of GOD's Law are sounding in his Ears, and lie indeed directly Chap. 13. the Soul is called to examine itself. 119 directly against him (a): While in the mean Time he applies to himself a thousand Promises in which he has no Share; which may prove therefore like generous Wine to a Man in a high Fever, or strong Opiates to one in a Lethargy. The Stony Ground received the Word with Joy, and a promising Harvest seemed to be springing up; yet it soon withered away (b), and no Reaper filled his Arms with it. Now that this may not be the Case with you, that all my Labours and yours hitherto may not be lost, and that a vain Dream of Security and Happiness may not plunge you deeper in Misery and Ruin, give me Leave to lead you into a serious Enquiry into your own Heart; that so you may be better able to judge of your Case, and to distinguish between what is at most being only near the Kingdom of Heaven, and becoming indeed a Member of it. §. 2. Now this depends upon the Sincerity of your Faith in Christ, when Faith is taken in its largest Ex tent, as explained above; that is, as comprehending Repentance, and that steady Purpose of new and universal Obedience, of which, wherever it is real, Faith will assuredly be the vital Principle. Therefore to assist you in judging of your State, give me Leave to ask you, or rather to intreat you to ask yourself, What Views you have had, and now have, of Sin, and of Christ? And what your future Purposes are, with Regard to your Conduct in the Remainder of Life that may lie before you? I shall nót reason largely upon the several Particulars I suggest under those Heads, but rather refer you to your own Reading and Observation, to judge how agreeable they are to the Word of Gop, the great Rule by which our Characters must quickly be tried, and our eternal State unalterably be determined. §. 3. Enquire seriously, in the first Place, What Views you have had of Sin, and what Sentiments you have felt in your Soul with Regard to it: There was a Time, when it wore a flattering Aspect, and made a fair inchanting Appearance, so that all your Heart was charmed with it, and it was the very Business of your Life to practise it. But you have since been undeceived. You (a) Deut. xxix. 19, 20, (b) Matt. xiii. 5, 6. 120 It should enquire into its View of Sin, Chap. 13. You have felt it bite like a Serpent, and sting like an Adder (c). You have beheld it with an Abhorrence, far greater than the Delight which it ever gave you. So far it is well. It is thus with every true Penitent, and with some, I fear, who are not of that Number. Let me therefore enquire farther, Whence arose this Abhorence? Was it merely from a Principle of Self-Love? Was it merely because you had been wounded by it? Was it merely because you had thereby brought Condemnation and Ruin upon your own. Soul? Was there no Sense of its Deformity, of its Baseness, of its Malignity, as committed against the Blessed Gon, considered as a Glorious, a Bountiful, and a Merciful Being? Were you never pierced by the Apprehension of its vile Ingratitude? And as for those Purposes which have arisen in your Heart against it, let me beseech you to reflect, how they have been formed, and how they have hitherto been executed. Have they been universal? Have they been resolute? And yet amidst all that Resolution, Have they been humble? When you declared War with Sin, was it with every Sin? And is it an irreconcileable War which you determine, by Divine Grace, to push on till you have entirely conquered it, or die in the Attempt? And are you accordingly active in your Endeavours to subdue and destroy it? If so, what are the Fruits worthy of Repentance which you bring forth (d)? It does not, I hope, all flow away in Floods of Grief: Have you ceased to do Evil 2 Are you learning to do Well (e)? Doth your Reformation shew, that you repent of your Sins; or do your renewed Relapses into Sin prove, that you repent even of what you call your Repentance? Have you an inward Abhorrence of all Sin, and an unfeigned Zeal against it? And doth that produce a Care to guard against the Occasions of it, and Temptations to it? Doyou watch against the Circumstances that have insnared you? And do you particularly double your Guard against that Sin which does most easily beset you (f)? Is that laid aside, that the Christian, Race may be run; laid aside with a firm Determination, that you will return to it |