AN EXTRACT

OF THE

REV. MR. JOHN WESLEY'S JOURNAL.

FROM FEBRUARY 1, 1738, TO AUGUST 12, 1738

For this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show forth all long suffering, fog a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting, I Tim. i, 16.

PREFACE.

1. THAT men revile me, and say all manner of evil against me; that I am become as it were a monster unto many; that the zealous of almost every denomination cry out, “Away with such a fellow from the earth :" this gives me, with regard to myself, no degree of uneasiness. For I know the Scripture must be fulfilled, "If they have called the Master of the house Beelzebub, how much more them of his household ?" But it does give me a concern, with regard to those who, by this artifice of the devil, are prevented from hearing that word which is able to save their souls.

2. For the sake of these, and indeed of all who desire to hear the truth of those things which have been so variously related, I have been induced to publish this further account; and I doubt not but it will even hence appear, to all candid and impartial judges, that I have hitherto lived in all good conscience toward God.

3. I shall be easily excused by those who either love or seek the Lord Jesus in sincerity, for speaking so largely of the Moravian Church; a city which ought to be set upon a hill: their light hath been too long hid under a bushel: it is high time it should at length break forth, and "so shine before men, that others also may glorify their Father which is in heaven."

4. If any should ask, "But do you think even this Church is perfect, without spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing?" I answer plainly, "No; though I trust it will be, when patience has had its perfect work." But neither do I think it right to entertain the world with the spots of God's children.

5. It has been further asked, whether I imagine God is to be found only among them. I reply, "By no means. I know there is a God in England, and we need not go to seek him in strange lands." I know that in our own, he is very nigh unto all that call upon him; and therefore I think those unwise (to say no more) who run to inquire after him in Holland or Germany.

6. When I went, the case was widely different. God had not then "made bare his arm" before us as he hath row done; in a manner (I will be bold to say) which had not been known either in Holland or Germany at that time, when He who ordereth all things wisely, according to "the counsel of his own will," was pleased by me to open the intercourse between the English and the Moravian Church.

7. The particular reason which obliged me to relate so much of the conversation J had with those holy men, is this: In September, 1738, when I returned from Ger many, I exhorted all I could to follow after that great salvation, which is through faith in the blood of Christ; waiting for it, "in all the ordinances of God," and in "doing good, as they had opportunity, to all men." And many found the beginning of that salvation, being justified freely, having peace with God through Christ, rejoicing in hope of the glory of God, and having his love shed abroad in their hearts. 8. But about September, 1739, while my brother and I were absent, certain men crept in among them unawares, greatly troubling and subverting their souls; telling them, they were in a delusion; that they had deceived themselves, and had no true faith at all. "For," said they, "none has any justifying faith, who has ever any doubt or fear, which you know you have; or who has not a clean heart, which you know you have not: nor will you ever have it, till you leave off using the means of grace, (so called;) till you leave off running to church and sacrament, and praying, and singing, and reading either the Bible, or any other book; for you cannot use these things without trusting in them. Therefore, till you leave them off, you can never have true faith; you can never till then trust in the blood of Christ."

9. And this doctrine, from the beginning to this day, has been taught as the doctrine of the Moravian Church. I think, therefore, it is my bounden duty to clear the Moravians from this aspersion; and the more, because I am perhaps the only person now in England that both can and will do it. And I believe it is the peculiar providence of God that I can: that two years since the most eminent members of that Church should so fully declare both their experience and judgment, touching the very points now in question.

10. The sum of what has been asserted, as from them, is this:

"(1.) That a man cannot have any degree of justifying faith, till he is wholly freed from all doubt and fear; and till he has, in the full, proper sense, a new, a clean heart.

"(2.) That a man may not use the ordinances of God, the Lord's Supper in particular, before he has such a faith as excludes all doubt and fear, and implies a new, a clean heart."

In flat opposition to this, I assert,

"(1.) That a man may have a degree of justifying faith, before he is wholly freed from all doubt and fear; and before he has, in the full, proper sense, a new, a clean heart.

“(2.) That a man may use the ordinances of God, the Lord's Supper in particular, before he has such a faith as excludes all doubt and fear, and implies a new, a clean heart."

I further assert, "This I learned (not only from the English, but also) from the Moravian Church."

And I hereby openly and earnestly call upon that Church, (and upon Count Zinzendorf in particular, who, I trust, is not ashamed or afraid to avow any part of the Gospel of Christ,) to correct me, and explain themselves, if I have misunderstood or misrepresented them.

LONDON, Sept. 29, 1740.

JOHN WESLEY.

JOURNAL.-No. II.

WEDNESDAY, Feb. 1, 1738.-After reading prayers and explaining a portion of Scripture to a large company at the inn, I left Deal, and came in the evening to Feversham.

I here read prayers, and explained the Second lesson to a few of those who were called Christians, but were indeed more savage in their behaviour than the wildest Indians I have yet met with.

Fri. 3.-I came to Mr. Delamotte's, at Blendon, where I expected a cold reception. But God had prepared the way before me and I no sooner mentioned my name, than I was welcomed in such a manner, as constrained me to say, "Surely God is in this place, and I knew it not! Blessed be ye of the Lord! Ye have shown more kindness in the latter end than in the beginning."

In the evening I came once more to London, whence I had been absent two years and near four months.

Many reasons I have to bless God, though the design I went upon did not take effect, for my having been carried into that strange land, contrary to all my preceding resolutions. Hereby I trust he hath in some measure "humbled me and proved me, and shown me what was in my heart." Hereby I have been taught to "beware of men." Hereby I am come to know assuredly, that if "in all our ways we acknowledge God," he will, where reason fails, "direct our path," by lot or by the other means which he knoweth. Hereby I am delivered from the fear of the sea, which I had both dreaded and abhorred from my youth.

Hereby God has given me to know many of his servants; particularly those of the Church of Hernhuth. Hereby my passage is opened to the writings of holy men in the German, Spanish, and Italian tongues. I hope too some good may come to others hereby. All in Georgia have heard the word of God. Some have believed, and began to run well. A few steps have been taken toward publishing the glad tidings both to the African and American Heathens. Many children have learned "how they ought to serve God," and to be useful to their neighbour. And those whom it most concerns have an opportunity of knowing the true state of their infant colony, and laying a firmer foundation of peace and happiness to many generations.

Sat. 4.-I told my friends some of the reasons which a little hastened my return to England. They all agreed it would be proper to relate them to the Trustees of Georgia.

Accordingly, the next morning I waited on Mr. Oglethorpe, but had rot time to speak on that head. In the afternoon I was desired to preach at St. John the Evangelist's. I did so on those strong words, "If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature." I was afterward informed, many of the best in the parish were so offended, that I was not to preach there any more.

Mon. 6.-I visited many of my old friends, as well as most of my relations. I find the time is not yet come when I am to be "hated of all men." O may I be prepared for that day!

Tues. 7.—(A day much to be remembered.) At the house of Mr. Weinantz, a Dutch merchant, I met Peter Böhler, Schulius Richter, and Wensel Neiser, just then landed from Germany. Finding they had no acquaintance in England, I offered to procure them a lodging, and did so, near Mr. Hutton's, where I then was. And from this time ! did not willingly lose any opportunity of conversing with them, while I stayed in London.

Wed. 8.-I went to Mr. Oglethorpe again, but had no opportunity of speaking as I designed. Afterward I waited on the Board of Trustees, and gave them a short but plain account of the state of the colony: an account, I fear, not a little differing from those which they had frequently received before: and for which I have reason to believe some of them have not forgiven me to this day.

Sun. 12.-I preached at St. Andrew's, Holborn, on, "Though I give all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing." O hard sayings! Who can hear them? Here too, it seems, I am to preach no more.

Wed. 15.-I waited on the Trustees again, and gave them in writing the substance of what I had said at the last Board. Whatsoever further questions they asked concerning the state of the province, I likewise answered to the best of my knowledge.

Fri. 17.-I set out for Oxford with Peter Böhler, where we were kindly received by Mr. Sarney, the only one now remaining here, of many who, at our embarking for America, were used to "take sweet counsel together," and rejoice in "bearing the reproach of Christ."

Sat. 18.-We went to Stanton Harcourt, to Mr. Gambold, and found my old friend recovered from his mystic delusion, and convinced that St. Paul was a better writer than either Tauler or Jacob Behmen.—The next day I preached once more at the castle (in Oxford) to a numerous and serious congregation.

All this time I conversed much with Peter Böhler, but I understood him not; and least of all when he said, Mi frater, mi frater, excoquenda est ista tua philosophia. "My brother, my brother, that philosophy of yours must be purged away."

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Mon. 20.-I returned to London. On Tuesday I preached at Great St. Helen's, on," If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me."

Wed. 22.-I was with the Trustees again, to whom I then gave a short account (and afterward delivered it to them in writing) of the reasons why I left Georgia.

Sun. 26.-I preached at six, at St. Lawrence's; at ten, in St. Katherine Cree's church; and in the afternoon, at St. John's, Wapping. I believe it pleased God to bless the first sermon most, because it gave most offence; being indeed an open defiance of that mystery of iniquity which the world calls prudence; grounded on those words of St. Paul to the Galatians, " As many as desire to make a fair show in the flesh, they constrain you to be circumcised; only lest they should suffer persecution for the cross of Christ.”

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Mon. 27.-I took coach for Salisbury, and had several opportunities of conversing seriously with my fellow travellers. But endeavouring to mend the wisdom of God by the worldly wisdom of prefacing serious with light conversation, and afterward following that advice of the Mystics," Leave them to themselves," all I had said was written on the sand. "Lord, lay not this sin to" my "charge!"

Tues. 28.-I saw my mother once more. The next day I prepared for my journey to my brother at Tiverton. But on Thursday morning, March 2d, a message that my brother Charles was dying at Oxford, obliged me to set out for that place immediately. Calling at an odd house in the afternoon, I found several persons there who seemed wellwishers to religion, to whom I spake plainly; as I did in the evening, both to the servants and strangers at my inn.

With regard to my own behaviour, I now renewed and wrote down my former resolutions :

1. To use absolute openness and unreserve, with all I should converse with.

2. To labour after continual seriousness, not willingly indulging myself in any the least levity of behaviour, or in laughter,-no, not for

a moment.

3. To speak no word which does not tend to the glory of God; in particular, not to talk of worldly things. Others may, nay must. what is that to thee? And

But

4. To take no pleasure which does not tend to the glory of God; thanking God every moment for all I do take, and therefore rejecting every sort and degree of it, which I feel I cannot so thank him in and for.

Sat. 4.-I found my brother at Oxford, recovering from his pleurisy ; and with him Peter Böhler; by whom (in the hand of the great God) I was, on Sunday, the 5th, clearly convinced of unbelief, of the want of that faith whereby alone we are saved. (With the full Christian salvation.)

Immediately it struck into my mind, "Leave off preaching. How can you preach to others, who have not faith yourself?" I asked Böhler, whether he thought I should leave it off or not. He answered, " By no means." Iked, "But what can I preach ?" He said, "Preach faith till you have it; and then, because you have it, you will preach faith."

Accordingly, Monday, 6, I began preaching this new doctrine, though my soul started back from the work. The first person to whom I offered salvation by faith alone, was a prisoner under sentence of death. His name was Clifford. Peter Böhler had many times desired me to speak to him before. But I could not prevail on myself so to do ; being still (as I had been many years) a zealous asserter of the impossibility of a death-bed repentance.

Fri. 10.-Peter Böhler returned to London.

Tues. 15.-I set out for Manchester with Mr. Kinchin, Fellow of Corpus Christi, and Mr. Fox, late a prisoner in the city prison. Between five and six we called at Chapel-on-the-Heath, where lived a poor man, some time prisoner in the Castle of Oxford. He was not at home; but his wife came to us, to whom Mr. Kinchin spoke a few words, which so melted her heart, that she burst out into tears, and we went on rejoicing and praising God.