« ForrigeFortsæt »
THE PRIESTS OUTWITTED.
A BLOW AT FREEMASONRY.
scent from a schoolmaster in Norwich, There is also a remarkable echo in the The father of the Bishop of Durham was venerable abbey church of St. Albans. a shopkeeper in London. The Bishops of Winchester and Chester boast no
King Joam of Portugal, in one of his nobler lineage than belongs to the sons
public edicts, with the view of recruiting of an under-master at Harrow. Bishop his cavalry, ordered all his subjects to be Burgess, as all the world knows, is the in readiness to furnish excellent warson of that illustrate citizen with whose horses. The churchmen pleaded their excellent fish-sauce civilized men are ge- immunities, and some of them went so nerally well acquainted; while his Lord- far as to say that they were not his subship of Exeter dates his parentage jects, but those of the pope. Wherethrough a long line of hereditary inn
upon Joam loudly asserted that he had keepers in the town of Gloucester. Be
never regarded them as subjects; and by sides these, we have the Bishop of Bris- another ordinance he forbade all smiths tol, the son of a silversmith in London; and farriers to shoe their mules and the Bishop of Bangor, the son of a
horses, they being no subjects—a measchoolmaster in Wallingford; the Bishop sure which soon compelled them to of Llandaff, whose father was a country submit. clergyman; with many others, whom it
DIET OF BYRON AND SHELLEY. were superfluous to enumerate. Lincoln, The reason for Byron's abstemiousness St. Asaph, Ely, Peterborough, Glou
was a very different one from Shelley's. cester, all spring from the middling Shelley's frugality arose from a desire to classes of society.
render his intellect the more clear; but The New World appears to be deter- Byron, like George IV., was horrified
at the idea of getting fat; and to counmined not to adopt as matters of course, either the habits or the institutions of fied his epicurean propensities. Hence
teract his tendency to corpulency, mortithe Old World. America established he dined four days in the week on fish
temperance societies” to explode dram and vegetables; and had even stinted drinking: it has now its anti-Masonic himself, when I last saw him, says Medconvention, the object of which is to ex
win in the Athenæum, to a pint of claret. plode the mysteries of Masonry, as pre- He succeeded, it is true, in overmastering texts for convivialities that separate men
nature, and clipping his rotundity of its from prudent habits and domestic duties. fair proportions; but with it shrunk his RESTITUTION.
cheek and his calf. This the fair GuicA celebrated advocate, being on the cioli observed, and seemed by no means point of death, made his will, and be
to admire. queathed all his wealth to idiots and
“ THE GIFT OF THE GAB.” lunatics. On being asked the reason, he
common fluency of speech in replied that he wished to return his
many men, and most women, is owing riches to those from whom he had drawn
to a scarcity of matter and of words; them.
for whoever is master of a language,
and has a mind full of ideas, will be The best echoes are produced by pa- apt in speaking to hesitate on the choice rallel walls. At a villa near Milan, of both; whereas common speakers there extend two parallel wings about have only one set of ideas, and one set fifty-eight paces distant from each other, of words to clothe them in, and these and the surfaces of which are unbroken
are always ready, and at the tongue's either by doors or windows. The sound end.
So people come faster out of of the human voice, or rather a word
a public place when it is almost empty, quickly pronounced, is repeated above than when a crowd is at the door. forty times, and the report of a pistol from fifty to sixty times. The repeti- A Manufacturer from Scotland, when tions, however, follow in such rapid suc- on a visit, a short time since, to one of cession that it is difficult to reckon them, his best customers, an alderman in Lonunless early in the morning before the don, could not conceal his surprise at equal temperature of the atmosphere is the number of his host's servants. He disturbed, or in a calm still evening. wondered how a man of business could Dr. Plot mentions an echo in Woodstock keep up such an establishment, and Park, which repeats seventeen syllables turning to his entertainer, inquired in by day and twenty by night. An echo an under tone--- "I on the north side of Shipley church, in a'those chaps in the plush breeks y'er Sussex, repeats twenty-one syllables. ain?”
from the trammels of his guardian; and FOR THE DISCONTENTED. the guardian himself sighs for the days (For the Parterre).
that are gone, and growls his uneasiness
at the approach of age and its infirmiPope has beautifully said, that every ties. All men are grumblers; none man is happy while engaged in his fa- seem to value the opinion of the Latin vourite pursuit; that even the fool is poet, who says, that contentment is the happy because his stock of knowledge is nearest approach which mortals can exlimited to what it is ; and yet, strange pect to make towards happiness. paradox! all men are grumblers. The Many years ago, Mr. B— was one merchant freights a vessel for a foreign of the most flourishing West India mer. country, and after months of anxiety to chants in Broad-street, London. He its owner, the noble craft returns from a married early in life, and in the course prosperous voyage: then does the man of five years his wife brought him three of business shake his head, and regret daughters. Just after the birth of his the loss of the insurance he paid at third child, the death of his wife's uncle, Lloyd's. The married man who, two a rich old bachelor, so increased his years since took to himself a young and means, that he at once gave up business beautiful wife without dower, utters a and retired into Hertfordshire, where he sigh of discontent as he sees the name purchased an estate, and might have of a schoolfellow among the list of mar- lived happily—but, he was a grumbler. riages in the newspaper—“Married, at He wished for a son; and when a St. George's, Hanover-square, by the fourth daughter was presented to him very Rev. the Dean of G-S-, by his affectionate wife, he complained Esq. to Anne, only daughter of the late bitterly that she had not brought him a Sir Richard " etc. etc. The news is boy to perpetuate the family name. gall and wormwood to the reader, and Always restless and ambitious, Mr. Bhis envy only subsides a little upon hear- began to feel tired of a country life, and ing that the bride is “very plain. The occasionally visited London.
He enyoung heir pants for the day that shall gaged in several speculations, which hail him twenty-one, and release him proved unsuccessful, and tended to sour his temper; and when his wife again to a fourth child, and the joy of her husthreatened to add to his family, he told her, band was boundless, as he found himwith much asperity, that he would never self the father of a beautiful boy; his illacknowledge the infant unless it were a temper no longer manifested itself, he boy.
appeared a totally altered man. NumerAn incident shortly occurred, which, ous were the visits of congratulation though it would have had its full effect which he received, and his house was a upon vulgar minds, might, notwith- scene of gladness and hospitality for many standing, have led the father to reflect days together. on the absurdity as well as brutality of Time rolled on, and the infant grew the determination he had expressed to apace ; but ere he had cast aside his pethis unoffending wife. A party of friends ticoats, he began to shew symptoms of a had arrived at Mr. B—'s mansion on a perverse and untractable disposition, and visit, and one day taking a walk before by the time he had reached the age of dinner, they strolled along a shady lane twelve, he was cordially hated by every in the neighbourhood, and came upon servant in the house, and every body in an encampment of gipsies. Of course the neighbourhood. Mischief was his the ladies had their good or ill fortune delight, and he would have his frolic, predicted, and the sybil who thus read though it gave pain to others; a sufficient their destinies reaped a plentiful harvest. proof, if no other exists, of a depraved She was a wretched looking old hag, and insensible heart. This proneness to with scarcely a tooth in her head, and mischief at length led to a tragical occurhad been for many years totally blind. rence. Master Edward had a favourite At the earnest entreaty of her friends, pony, which his father had presented to Mrs. Bwas persuaded to hear the de- him on his birth-day, to the great alarm cree of fate from the lips of the gipsy. and chagrin of the cottagers in the Drawing her wedding-ring from her neighbourhood, whose pigs and poultry finger, the lady tendered her hand to the he was continually hunting in all direcbeldame, while her husband looked on tions. He had been engaged in this with a sneer. “ Madam,” mumbled the amiable employment one morning, and hag, as she received in her shriveled was returning home on his pony, when hand the long white fingers of the lady, he thought proper to enter a field, the “you are married, I find; you have not long grass of which was just ready for deceived me by taking off your ring.” the scythe of the mower. He galloped “ We know that already, mother,” said round the field, then to and fro, across Mr. B-, pettishly; “ be quick, and and back again, until he had left scarcely tell us something of the future.” Then a square yard of grass standing up-right. turning to his wife-“ Ellen, I am His freak was not unobserved; and ere he ashamed of this foolery.” My dear could escape from the scene of his exGeorge, it is only a frolic, you know,” ploit, the farmer confronted him with a said his wife, endeavouring to mollify good hazel rod, which he applied withher husband's temper, which she per- out ceremony to the back of the misceived was beginning to manifest itself. chievous urchin. “ Be quick, then,” muttered the hus- Mr. B— saw with surprise the band; “ I don't like these vagabonds.” spoilt-boy return home weeping bitterly, Lady,” said the gipsy, addressing Mrs. and on inquiring the cause, vowed
you will shortly bear a son. to be revenged upon the man who The words startled both husband and had presumed to chastise his child. wife, but neither of them spoke. The Ordering his horse to be immediately beldame continued — " Ay, you will saddled, he rode off to the farm-house. have a son, surely, and he will grow to High words ensued, and might have be a fine lad, and clever, and the like; terminated in blows, but for the enbut he will love dicing, and drinking, trance of the farmer's son, a young lieuand-ah, madam! I had a son once”. tenant in the Navy, who of course took
“ He was hung,” would probably part with his father. Mr. B—'s ire was have terminated the sentence; but Mr. now provoked to the highest pitch, and B— interrupted the oracle, and threat- he applied an offensive epithet to the ening to put the whole pack of gipsies young sailor, who immediately resented into the stocks, hurried his wife away, it by a blow, which laid the complaining with many reproaches for her wicked- party prostrate. Farther hostilities were ness, as he termed it, in listening to the prevented by the servants, but the squababsurd mouthing of an old hag.
ble did not terminate here. Mr. BMrs. B~ a few weeks after gave birth had scarcely reached home burning with
rage and mortification, when he re- youth one day took advantage of his ceived a challenge from the Lieutenant. father's absence, and breaking open a Mr. B- now began to reflect, and writing desk in which was a considerable although no coward, he shrunk from the sum in gold, he decamped with the booty. meeting ; but, like many others in a si- The shock which this gave his mother milar situation, he dreaded the sneers of hastened her dissolution, and she died a his acquaintance if he refused to fight. few months afterwards—her last words exHe thought too of his son, whose wanton pressing anxiety for her abandoned child. mischief had thus involved him in a seri- Several years passed away, during ous quarrel; and the unhappy father, after which no tidings were heard of the lost penning a hasty answer, in which he Edward; but the amiable disposition of named the place of meeting, immediate- his daughters afforded Mr. B- some ly set about arranging his affairs in the relief, and in their society he endeavourevent of his being the victim of the ap- ed to forget that he had a son. proaching duel.
It happened that news of the sudden The parties met by day-break the illness of an uncle arrived one evening, following morning, and Mr. B- return- and Mr. B- ordering his carriage to be ed to his house a homicide! The Lieu- got ready, set off for the metropolis an tenant had fallen in the contest, and on hour before dark. As he proceeded on the evening of the next day, the survi. his journey, his thoughts reverted to the vor was pounced upon by the officers of various events of his life : his marriagejustice, and committed to gaol as a mur- his son-his duel with the unfortunate derer. Here the affectionate attentions Lieutenant, and the death of his amiaof his wife tended to soothe the anguish ble wife. He at length fell into a slumof his mind, but Mr. B— from that fatal ber, from which he was awoke by the morning was an altered man: he saw, stopping of the carriage. when too late, that he had ruined his Supposing that he had arrived at his child by excessive indulgence, and that journey's end, Mr. B~ was about to let the worst had probably not arrived. His down the window, when a hoarse voice trial soon followed, and although acquit cried out to the footmanted of murder, Mr. B— felt as he left “ Get down you rascal, and let 's see his prison, like another Cain : few pitied what your master 's got about him-get him; and some of his neighbours, who down, and open the door, or I'll spoil formerly sought his company, now always your livery, my fine fellow.” found a pretext for avoiding him.
The door was immediately opened, He at length determined to travel; and two highwaymen, uttering fierce and after placing his son at a select school oaths, made the usual demand. a few miles distant, Mr. B- set out for Mr. B-never travelled without arms, France and Italy. The letters which he and he replied by discharging a pistol at received from home during his travels the foremost thief; but the flash scared were anything but satisfactory; they the highwayman's horse, which threw were generally filled with accounts of the up its head, and the bullet, lodging in misconduct of his son, whose behaviour the animal's neck, caused it to start off at school became at length so bad that at full speed, in spite of the rider's enhe was threatened with dismissal. This deavour to restrain it. The remaining disgrace however, the boy avoided by highwayman, nothing daunted, fired running away. Whither he went no one without effect, and received Mr. B-'s could tell, but it was generally supposed second shot on the forehead. The ball that he made his way to some sea-port, and glanced from the forehead of the villain entered on board an outward bound vessel, without seriously wounding him, but he for when he presented himself at his fa- was completely stunned by the blow, and ther's house three years afterwards, he was fell heavily from his horse. dressed in the tattered garb of a sailor. As the prostrate ruffian recovered, he
An attempt was made to reclaim him; found himself in the hands of his inand his mother, whose health had been tended prey, and the footman, detaching declining, endeavoured by every gentle one of the carriage lamps, held it up to means to effect a reformatiom in her take a view of their prisoner's features. unfortunate son. But it was too late; One glance was sufficient for his master, the bottle, and low company had give who uttered a groan of anguish as he a blacker tinge to a heart naturally beheld in the now pale and blood-stained dead to amiable feelings. Despising countenance of the captive russian, the the counsel of his parents, and anxious lineaments of his son ! to return to his old habits, the wretched
Notwithstanding the precautions of as the term “unpleasant fellow" Mr. B— the adventure got wind, but variously interpreted, I would have it not before his abandoned son had reach- distinctly understood that I do not mean ed the West Indies, where, however (a to accuse him of ever having thrashed few months after his arrival) he died of his grandmother, or kicked his father the yellow fever. Mr. B- lived to an down stairs, or poisoned a child, or set old age, but the recollection of that fire to a barn, or burked a female, young dreadful night haunted him till his dying beautiful, and virtuous, or encouraged hour.
E. F. an organ-grinder, or a Scotch bagpiper
to make a hideous noise under his winTHE M A Y FLOWER. dow, or, in short, of any enormous BY HORACE GUILFORD.
wickedness; I mean--and whether his (For the Parterre.)
case may be rendered better or worse
by the explanation, must depend upon Lo! where the green turf, by the hedge-row gate, individual taste-I mean only that he is Strewn with the pearly hawthorn blossom, a bore. shews
For the last three years of his life, the Where late the lovers loitered. What a tale Might this white token of the sabbath-tryste
Captain, whose health was gradually deUnfold! Did maiden coyness cast it there, clining under the effects of an uncured A thing less spotless than her trembling heart, and incurable wound in the side, had While rosy blushes made the sidelong light Of her blue bashful eye more eloquent?
scarcely ever quitted his house ; and for Or was it the rude hand of cold disdain a considerable portion of that period he That cast the poor swain's offering to the earth, was unable, without assistance, to move And let it die in dew.tears? Nay, perhaps, from his sofa. In addition to his sufferTwo some-time lovers plucked it carelessly As their first joys, and, tired of it as soon,
ings from his glorious wound, he was subFlung it away as wantonly. Or else
ject to the occasional attacks of ingloriThat pallid wreath did gem the verdant sod,
ous gout, and of three visits a day from Sliding unmissed from fingers pale and thin
Dick Doleful. Under such a compliOf the betrayed one, when she heard those lips That hers had pressed so warmly, say
" Fare. cation of ailments, his case, both by his well!"
friends and his physicians, had long And saw no kinduess in those altered eyes
been considered hopeless. Indeed the (That were her day-stars once) to rob that word Of its despiteous bitterness.
Captain himself seemed aware of the fatal character of the last-named malady;
and more than once expressed an opinion, DICK DOLEFUL.
that if he could be relieved from that, he had strength and stamina sufficient to
conquer the others. I paid him a visit It was to the late Captain Chronic, R. one day, and entered his room just as N., I am indebted for the pleasure of Mr. Doleful was leaving it. Doleful being but very slightly acquainted with sighed audibly, shook his head, muttered Richard Doleful, Esquire. The father “ Our poor dear friend !” and withdrew. of Dick had, during the Captain's long This, from any other person, I should and frequent absences on service, acted have construed into a hint that our “poor as his agent and factotum: receiving dear friend" was at his last gasp; but his pay and his prize money, managing being acquainted with Mr. Doleful's his disbursements, and investing the an- ways, I approached the Captain as usual, nual surplus to the best advantage; and shook his hand cordially, and, in a cheerI incline to attribute to old Chronic's ful tone, inquired how he was getting kindly and grateful remembrance of the on. father, rather than to any personal regard “ Ah, my dear fellow,” said he, at the for the son, his tolerance of the latter as same time slowly lifting his head from the the almost daily, visiter at his house. Dick's sofa-cushion, “I'm glad to see you ; it “ good friends” are sorry to admit” does me good; you ask me how I do, that there are many bad points about and you look, and you speak as if you him; his “best friends” compassionate thought there was some life in me. But him into the possession of ten times more: that Mr. Doleful!-Here he comes Sir, hence it may be inferred that Dick, up- three times a day; walks into the room on the whole, is a much better person on tiptoe, as if he thought I hadn't nerve than the best of his friends.
to bear the creaking of a shoe ; touches I, who do not presume to be his friend, the tip of one of my fingers as if a cordial consequently have no motive for speak- grasp would shatter me to atoms; and ing in his disparagement, must allow says, “ Well, how d’ye do now Captain ?' him to be a very unpleasant fellow. Now, with such a look, and in such a tone!
A SKETCH FROM NATURE.