searching the prisoner, we found this here in his breeches pocket ;" and saying this, he held up a complete set of false teeth.

The magistrates upon this shook their heads, and a thrill went through the court, as if the murder were transacted

before their eyes. The purse also was recognized by the landlady; and even the evidence of the person whom Sam had addressed by the side of the river, when they were dragging for the corpse, told very much against him. That witness stated, that the prisoner turned very pale when he saw what they were about; and after seeming excessively agitated for a long while, had said, as if unconsciously, "It will be death to me if they find him." The evidence, by various concurring circumstances, was very strong against our unfortunate friend. magistrate cautioned him against saying anything to criminate himself; and asked him if he wished to make any observation before being remanded on suspicion. Thus adjured, Rosy Sam, who was, alas! now no longer rosy, essayed to speak.

The

"Upon my honour, this is a most curious business. All that I know about the matter is, that the man who slept in my room must have got up very early in the morning, and stolen my breeches. I am a man of fortune-my name is Samuel Holt, Esq., of Bastock Lodge and as to stealing'

But his harangue was here interrupted by a new witness, who exclaimed, " Please your worships, this swindler of a fellow cheated me last night of an excellent dinner and a pint of old port." And poor Sam, on looking round at his new assailant, recognized the landlord of the inn where the coach had stopt. Casting his eyes up to heaven, in sheer despair, he sat down in his seat, and muttered, "It is my firm belief I shall be hanged, because a cursed fellow of a dentist took a fancy to my breeches. But it all comes of travelling. May the devil take Jack Thomson!" But at this moment a prospect of safety dawned upon him, for Mr. Clutchit entered the office. Clutchit!" cried the prisoner in an ecstasy, "Just tell these people, will you, that I never murdered a dentist-confound his breeches-but that I am Sam Holt of Bastock-Rosy Sam."

"I say,

Mr. Clutchit, thus addressed, bore witness to the respectability of his client, and begged to be made acquainted with the circumstances of the case. On hearing the name of the missing individual,

he exclaimed, "O, he 's safe enough— this very morning he was arrested at Westminster for debt, and is snugly lodged in the Fleet. A stout good complexioned man, a dentist, about two-andforty years of age, and much such a figure as Mr. Holt."-"Just such a figure," cried Sam; "our clothes fit each other, as if the tailor had measured us both."

Mr. Clutchit's evidence altered the appearance of the question, and a messenger was dispatched to the Fleet to ascertain whether the dentist was really there. In a short time he returned to the court with the following letter:—

"SIR,-I am sorry for the scrape my On disappearance has got you into. shaving myself last night, I cut my chin very severely, and had nothing at hand to stop the bleeding. On getting up very early to proceed to Westminster, I took my trunk down stairs, and put it into a boat; but recollecting I had left my dressing-case, I returned for it as gently as I could, for fear of disturbing the house. It was so dark at the time, that I find, in mistake, I had put on some clothes which did not belong to me. On landing at Westminster, I was unfortunately arrested at the suit of a scoundrel of the name of Clutchit, and sent off to this place. I herewith return you the things contained in your pockets; and would return the habiliments themselves, but just at present have no change of wardrobe. Yours respectfully,

"ABRAHAM REEVE." Sam was now complimented and apologized to on all hands; and though Mr. Clutchit spoke in no very kindly terms of the unhappy Abraham, owing, perhaps, to the manner in which he was spoken of in the note, Sam, who was now in the highest spirits, said, as they went out of the office together,- "He's not a bad fellow that same dentist-he has saved my neck from the gallows, and I'll be hanged if I don't pay his debt. But I say, Clutchit, only think what would have become of me if he had been drowned on his way to Westminster !" "Ah, my dear sir, you know nothing about the law. But come, we must talk on business. have not yet seen Sir Harry, but have a note from him-that he expects us both to dine with him on board his yacht today, which is lying at Blackwall. You had better go and arrange matters with him in a friendly way, while I draw out the deeds, and make all right."—" Just as you please," said Sam; "but in the

I

meantime, my toggery is not just what I could wish, and my purse"- "Say no more, say no more. One can get every thing in London.” And in the course of an hour, Sam found himself well dressed, with two or three shirts and other articles in a carpet-bag, and fifty sovereigns in his pocket, for which he gave the lawyer his note. Rejoicing in his recovered liberty, and anticipating a comfortable dinner and quiet bottle once more, he presented himself on board the Tartar at four o'clock. Sir Harry was delighted to see him, introduced him to some friends who were on board, and in the happiest mood possible the whole party sat down to dinner. But Sam's hilarity was doomed to be of short duration. Before he had time to swallow the first mouthful, he perceived that the vessel was in motion. Sir Harry assured him they were only going a trip to the Downs to see the fleet, and would be back the next day; and Mr. Holt, who never took long to accept a friendly invitation, professed his happiness at the prospect of the voyage. But a dinner on board a little yacht of fifty tons, and in his nice parlour at Bastock Lodge, were very different things. A slight swell of the river made her motion very uneasy, and a lurch, which emptied a plateful of scalding pea-soup into Sam's lap, and diverted the point of his fork from its original destination—a kidney potatoe to the more sensitive kidneys of his leeward neighbour, made him half repent his nautical expedition. When they had left the comparative smoothness of the river, and entered upon the open sea, which was heaving under a pretty tolerable breeze, Sam's feelings were of a very different nature from those of plea

sure.

After various ineffectual attempts to enjoy himself below, he felt that the fresh air was absolutely necessary to his comfort, and rushed upon deck. Here he was quite bewildered. The night was not entirely dark, but a dim lurid gloom spread itself all round the heavens, and even so unpractised an eye as poor Sam's saw that there was a storm in the sky. In the meantime, the wind blew fresher every minute, and the Tartar skimmed on the top of the waves one moment, and the other, sunk so instantaneously into the hollow of the sea, that Sam laid himself down upon the deck, partly to repress his sickness, and partly, perhaps, to conceal his fears. Meanwhile, mirth and revelry were going on below, and even the sailors appeared to Sam to be much

less attentive to the vessel than the exigency of affairs demanded. From time to time our friend lifted up his head, to satisfy himself whether the sea was becoming more rough, and laid himself down again with an increase of his alarm. At last he caught an indistinct view of some large dark object, heaving and tumbling in the waters; he kept his eye as steadily fixed on it as his sickness would allow, until he saw that it was a ship of large size: "I say, coachman!" he said to the man at the wheel, "mind your reins; there's a London wagon coming down hill, fifteen mile an hour!" The man, whose ideas were as thoroughly nautical as Sam's were terrene, paid no attention to his warning; but still Sam's eyes were fixed on the approaching object, and he cried out, in the extremity of alarm," Drive on, drive on, or pull to the side of the road; or, by, we shall all be spilt!" His exclamations produced no effect, and the ship drew rapidly near.

He saw her as her huge beam rose upon the crest of a wave, and sank yawning down again, till her hull was entirely hid; but each time she rose, he perceived that she had greatly shortened the space between them. Sam cried out to the steersman, "You infernal villain, why don't you get out of the way? Do you not understand what's said to you, you tarry, quid-chewing abomination! See, see, she 's on us!she's on us!" He heard the dash of her bows through the foam, and while the bellying of her sails above sounded like thunder, a hoarse voice was heard through the storm, crying, "Luff-luff;" and the helmsman, now thoroughly awakened to his danger, turned the wheel; but it was too late. A scream, wild and appalling, burst from the crew, who were on deck, and the next instant a crash took place; the little vessel shook as if every plank were bursting, and Sam found himself battling with the waves. He soon lost all consciousness of his situation, and how long had elapsed, he did not know; but when he came to his recollection, he found himself in a warm bed, while a gentleman in naval uniform was holding his pulse, and several other persons anxiously looking on. "It's of no use, I tell you," said Sam, with a rueful expression of countenance. "It's of no use-I'm a changed man. Yesterday I was nearly hanged, now I'm entirely drowned; and what's to happen next, Lord only knows. The last time I slept in Bastock, I had never been

forty miles from home, but now I suppose I'm at the other end of the world." "Keep yourself quiet, sir, you are in good quarters," said the gentleman who held his pulse. "You are on board his Majesty's ship, Bloodsucker, 84, bound for the Mediterranean. Take this composing draught, and keep yourself quiet for a few days, and I have no doubt of your soon recovering your strength." And accordingly, in a very few days, Sam was able to go upon deck. By the ease and jollity of his social disposition, he soon made himself a favourite with the mess. On his first emerging from his cabin, he gazed with breathless astonishment at the prospect which presented itself—magnificent hills at an amazing distance, and a vast extent of level country, rejoicing in the sunshine. "Pray, sir," said Sam, to a tall romantic-looking gentleman in black, who was admiring the same scene, "what county may we be opposite now? Is it any part of Hampshire, sir?"—" Hampshire!" repeated the gentleman, thus addressed," These are the mountains of Spain. These hills were trod by Hannibal, and the Scipios, by the Duke of Wellington, and Don Quixote. This is the land of the Inquisition and liquorice. Yonder is Cape Trafalgar; there, in the arms of victory and Sir Thomas Hardy, fell heroic, one-eyed, Nelson! That is Cape Spartel. Hail, Afric's scorching shore, hot-bed of niggers! See! we open the Pillars of Hercules! These mighty portals past, every step we'll be on classic ground or water."

(To be concluded at p. 346).

MISCELLANIES.

PREPARING FOR AN EXPECTED EVIL.

FRASER, in his history of Persia, relates that an acquaintance of his, while residing in a certain town, was alarmed by hearing, in a neighbouring house, a sort of periodical punishment going on daily. Heavy blows were given, and a person was continually crying out, "Amaun! amaun! Mercy! mercy! I have nothing-heaven is my witness, I have nothing!" Upon inquiry, he learned that the sufferer was a merchant reputed to be very rich, who afterwards confessed to him, that having understood the governor of the place to be meditating how he should possess himself of a share of his wealth, and expecting to be put to the torture, he had resolved to habitu

ate himself to the endurance of pain, in order to be able to resist the threatened demands. He had brought himself to bear a thousand strokes of a stick on the soles of his feet, and as he was able to counterfeit great exhaustion and agony, he hoped to be able to bear as many blows as they would venture to inflict. short of death, without conceding any of his money.

THE IRISH AND THEIR DWELLINGS.

Ir was impossible, says the Author of the " Angler in Ireland," to travel even one day through the interior of Ireland without being forcibly reminded that I was in a perfectly different country, and among a totally dissimilar people, from those on the Saxon side of the Channel. The general aspect of the country through which I this day passed, as indeed, of the greater part of Ireland, has an unusually bare look in the eyes of an Englishman, and reminds him more of the interior of France than of the smiling fields of England. This naked appearance arises, in a great measure, from the absence of hedge and hedge-row timber. The usual fence in Ireland is a mound of earth, or, in some counties, stone walls. These earthen or stone walls are very often without any gateway even into the road. When the proprietor wishes to enter into the enclosure, he breaks down as much of the fence as will admit his little cart, and often blocks up the gap with the same car, turned up with its shafts in the air. Then the cabins of the peasantry appear to the newly-arrived Englishman very small, and, alas! very dirty and comfortless. There is no attempt at ornament in the architecture, nor any symptoms of a wish to keep neat what never could have been handsome. The walls and roof are too often going to decay, and blackened with the smoke that eddies out of the ever open door. There are no roses clustering round the porch, no jasmine climbing up the windows, no gay borders of flowers, such as frequently give so cheerful and pleasing an appearance to our rural cottages. In front of the Irish cabin is universally the manure-heap; and as universally, inside, may be seen or heard sundry pigs, who are every now and then violently ejected by the scolding mother or by the laughing child; both of them guiltless of wearing either shoe or stocking, and the latter very frequently as unencumbered with any other article of clothing. Yet out of these small, low

roofed cots, you will not seldom see four or five fine tall fellows issue, bending almost double in order to escape under the puny doorway. It is difficult to imagine how they exist in such disproportioned dwellings.

CURIOUS REVENUE.

THE government of the island of Jersey is vested in a governor, whose office is a sinecure, the duties being performed by a lieutenant-governor. This officer derives from his post a small revenue, raised by a tax upon the produce, which is mostly paid in kind. Some of the

items of this tax are curious, and serve

to illustrate the rapacity of the priests in ancient times, by whom they were originally imposed. He is entitled to one hundred and ninety-seven capons, two hundred and sixty-three fowls, two hundred and seventeen chickens, thirtythree geese, six hundred and eighty-four eggs, ninety-seven loaves of bread, and two hares, per annum., Luckily for him, there is no law or custom requiring him actually to devour all this abundance of provisions.

ALL RIGHT!

N. Y. M.

DR. BUSBY, whose figure was much under the common size, was one day accosted in a coffee-room by an Irish baronet of colossal stature, with, "May I pass to my seat, O giant?" when the doctor, politely making way, replied, "Pass, O pigmy?" "Oh, sir," said the baronet, " my expression referred to the size of your intellect." "And my expression, sir," said the doctor, "to the size of yours."

PEDIGREE OF HENRY THE SEVENTH.

OUR pedigree hunters at the present day are constantly pretending to make discoveries which astonish and charm the ignorant, but excite the laughter and disgust of the intelligent. Their labours, however, are slight compared with those of the genealogists of former times. When Henry VII. had availed himself of the unpopularity of Richard III. to usurp the sovereignty, he employed a commission of learned Cambrians to prove his grandfather's (Owen Tudor ap Meredith) pedigree. This they effected through 100 generations, up to Brute, the fabled Trojan king of Britain! First they traced him to Prince Lewelyn, and thence to Coel, king of Britain, whose line they traced to Rhegaw, daughter of Lear, and wife of Duke Henwin, and by ten other steps back to Brutus, whose

name, say they, caused the country to be called Britain. His three sons-Locrine had Loegria, England; Kumber had Kumbria, Wales; and Albanactus had Albania, Scotland. They also proved that, in the thirtieth degree, Henry was, on his mother's side, directly descended from Ruthven or Vortigern.

JOE MILLER.

"Ir is a fact not generally known," says Mr. Mathews, in his celebrated Monopolylogue," that the well-known Joe Miller, who has fathered all our jests for the last half-century, never uttered a jest actor, he was the most taciturn and sain his life. Though an excellent comic turnine man breathing. He was in the daily habit of spending his afternoons at the Black Joke, a well-known publichouse in Portugal-street, Clare-market, which was at that time frequented by most of the respectable tradesmen in the neighbourhood, who, from Joe's imperturbable gravity, whenever any risible saying was recounted, derisively

ascribed it to him. After his death, having left his family unprovided for, advantage was taken of this badinage. A Mr. Motley, a well-known dramatist of that day, was employed to collect all the stray jests then current in town. Joe Miller's name was prefixed to them; and from that day to this, the man who never uttered a jest has been the reputed author of every jest, past, present, and

at

seven years. ." "Poor man, what a heavy affliction!" exclaimed Mrs. Wthe same time giving him relief with a liberal hand. On her return home she mentioned the fact; remarking, "What a dreadful thing it was to be so deprived of such precious faculties!" "But how," asked her sister, "did you know that the poor man had been deaf and dumb for seven years?" Why," was the quiet and unconscious answer, "he told me so.'

THE DANISH ROVER.

A LEGEND OF THE ISLE OF WIGHT.

(For the Parterre).

WE have but few details of the visits of those terrible enemies to England in the Saxon times-the Danes. Rome herself had then dwindled to a contemptible state, in which were enacted the same scenes of violence and bloodshed that distinguished her in former times, unchecked by the ridicule of the satirist, and the argument of the philosopher. Hideous tyrants, whose appetites for cruelty were sharpened by the sight of human blood; and empresses, in whom the crimes of Agrippina and Messalina were revived and concentrated, followed each other in rapid succession, while daring usurpers stalked across the tragic stage of empire, and vanished as they had appeared, like meteors.

At this period the history of the once mighty mistress of the world is one confused scene of infamy and crime; while hordes of barbarians threatened her with annihilation; England at the same time was exposed to the savage pirates of the north. Little, therefore, can be

known of the numerous descents of the Danes upon this island, notwithstanding the strange tales which have been related by our early historians. Many traditions have however descended to us, and among them the following.

In the reign of Ethelred the Second, Olaus, a Danish pirate, had, by his repeated visits to the English coast, rendered himself an object of terror and abhorrence. At sea and on shore he was alike terrible. On the former, richly freighted ships became his easy prey, while those who dwelt near the coast, besides being stripped of all they possessed, were often murdered by his savage crews.

The ravages of the Danes were a dreadful infliction on the English, who had so many coasts to guard. "They knew not," says the historian, "where to assemble, and expect the enemy. If at any time they happened to have it in their power to give them battle, all the advantage they could gain, in case fortune favoured them, was to rescue the plunder. But when they themselves were worsted, the country was sure to be exposed to all imaginable cruelties before another army could be drawn