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lavishing on her the choicest nutriment, Reader! I see you are almost as much with a devotedness unknown to vulgar pleased as Inesilla was, that Lopez saved vultures.
his daughter. “ Most wonderful!” cried the good Lopez. “ How unjust I was !
How EXTRACT FROM THE JOURNAL blind! I refused to believe in beneficence.
OF AN ODD FELLOW. I find it even among vultures !”
Lopez could not grow eary of this I do abominate laughing. There is touching sight. Day after day he re- nothing that jars upon my feelings so turned to watch it. It opened to him much as one of your genuine horsesources of exquisite and inexhaustible laughs. It is like the rasping of a saw, meditation. He was enraptured to see or a sleigh running over bare ground. innocence strengthened under the wing Yet people have got a most villanous of power-the weak succoured by the habit of laughing when I speak; why, strong; and the transition from the nest I know not, unless it is that I never laugh of the dove to his gentle Inesilla, in hap- myself. I find I am getting the character piness at Cazorla, protected by one of of a wit. If the name is fairly fixed upon the rich and powerful, was so natural, me, I should be most sadly tempted to that he returned home, blessing Don shoot myself. I fear I have said some Fernando and the vulture.
amazingly silly things. I will be more Already had the light down on the circumspect for the future. My conlittle dove deepened into silvery feathers; versation is too light, I shall take care already, from branch to branch, had she to put more lead in it hereafter. Heigh essayed her timid Aight upon her native ho!-heaven knows one's words may be tree; already could her beak, hardened light when his heart is heavy. and sharpened, grasp its nourishment Made an experiment the other night with ease.
to ascertain whether people laughed at One day the vulture appeared with me, or at what I might happen to say. the accustomed provender. He eyed Jack Would-be-wit perpetrated a pun his adopted intently. The dove that day some time since-not a smile-company looked peculiarly innocent and beautiful. grim as death—Jack looked blank. Her form was round and full. Her air “I'll wager a bottle of champagne, delightfully engaging.
The vulture Jack, that I 'll rehearse that still-born paused. He seemed for a moment to effusion of yours to-morrow night at exult that he had reared a creature so Madam -'s party with unbounded fair. On a sudden he pounced into the applause ?”
In an instant the dove was de- “ Done,” said Jack. voured!
And it was done-raised a tremendous Lopez witnessed this: he stood amaz. laugh-was stamped as a genuine coin of ed and puzzled, like Gargantua, on the current wit—had the good fortune“ virudeath of his wife Badebec.
su per ora volitare” got into the newspa“ Great powers !” exclaimed Lopez, pers, and the last I saw of it was travel. « what do I behold!”
ling about the country, everybody, by The good man was surprised that a the way, claiming it for their own. vulture should have eaten a dove, when “What say you to that, Jack ?” only the reverse would have been the “ True, true, but then you've got such wonder.
comical way with you." The former association in his mind Here then is the fault-it must be between his daughter and the dove rush- mended—I shall look to it. ed back upon him. He was almost mad.
“My Inesilla, my dove," shrieked he There is one thing which I hold in to himself, “ is also under the protection special abhorrence, and that is the being of a vulture— a great lord — a man of dragged into an argument on any subject prey-hence! hence!”
or any occasion. I look upon that man He ran : he flew. He repeated to who lays down some litigated opinion himself a hundred times upon the way“ and calls upon me either to confute or
“ We should know the character of those assent to it, as I would upon a person by whom we are obliged, before we let them who should knock me down in the street, do us services !”
to ascertain whether I had strength And with this upon his lip he arrived, enough to redress myself; and I have breathless, at Cazorla. He darted to the thought that it was a great pity the police retreat where he had left his daughter, could not be called upon in the one case -Merciful Providence !
as well as in the other.
It may well be conceived that my soreness upon this
point constitutes one of the chief miseries Interrupted again! my blood boiled, of my life. The world is full of these and I resolved that I would do my best wordy martialists. One can scarcely to “exflunctify” the animal at once. meet a man who does not carry a whole “ Mr. Shirtcollar,” said I with great park of logical artillery in his pocket, all gravity, “you will certainly grant that double-shotted with solid syllogisms, en- the Guinead is the noolest epic that was thymemes, propositions, conditional and ever produced, always excepting Newdisjunctive, and ready to let drive at any ton's Principia, and Crabbe's Synoone who “shows fight.” There is your nymes.” lawyer, with his everlasting sequitur and This was somewhat out of the gentlenon sequitur ; the theologian, who raps man's depth, and he looked rather blank, one's pate across with a knotty volume of but the company began to laugh, and I the fathers; the politician, who will do looked very solemn, and hesitation was the same with his cane if you refuse to death. agree with him; the colonizationist and “ Oh yes, I presume there is no quesanti-colonizationist; the temperance man
tion about that,” said he very unsuspectand anti-temperance man; “hold, hold, ingly, “and yet you must be aware that for mercy sake, do have compassion on it was written by a negro.” my ears, and I will submit to any thing
This was a poser.
« Well, well-yes -any thing except hearing you called a -I'll allow, but”-and the whole table wise man or myself a wit.'
burst into There is another thing which I never “Oh, demme, you're a quizzing!” could brook, a needless interruption in cried the discomfited controversialist, and the solemn business of eating. I am a made off with himself, leaving me to reasonable man, and think that Archi- finish my meal without further molesmides was a fool to lose life, rather than tation. leave a geometrical problem unfinished. But I found my dinner was spoiled, But had he been discussing a dinner, Heard a conversation in the adjoining breakfast, luncheon, or any such matter, room, which did not tend to improve instead of a point in mathematics, there my appetite. I confess I could have sympathized with “He-he-he! what a funny man!” him. And surely the Greek must have said a female voice. been a most scandalous barbarian, who “ Yes-yes--a great wit—a great wit! had broken in as ruthlessly upon the ha, ha!” was the reply. grave tenour and quiet philosophy of Left my dinner and slunk off to my such an operation.
room, wishing that I had let Shirtcollar “It is my candid belief,” said Mr. alone. Shirtcollar, starting up from the table where I had just sat down, “ that there Went to a party with a solemn deteris no material difference betwixt a mon- mination to establish a new character key and a negro. Don't you think so, made out a long list of serious subjectsMr. Graves ?"
-'s last serNow this fashionable gentleman of mon, &c. for conversation; and resolved whiskers and mustaches was very fond of that if people would exercise their risiparadoxes, which he supported as well as bles, it should not be on my account. a man might with an empty head and a Remarked to Miss
very gravely, clattering tongue. It was not the first and with a sigh, as was becoming, “ Alas, offence which he had committed against we must all die!”—thought she would my peace, and I determined to give him have died a laughing. Deuced strange a lesson.
this ! had an idea of getting mad about I dropped my knife and fork and an- it; but if people feel inclined they will swered him very deliberately. “Negroes laugh, so I stared and said nothing, but are always black”-he nodded— “but resolved to hold my tongue for the remonkeys," and I eyed him very signifi- mainder of the evening. cantly from head to foot, “I should be Looked at Harry Blunt; the fellow inclined to think, are not invariably so." burst into a laugh. I resumed my meal.
“ What the d— are you laughing at?" There was a titter among the ladies, said I, fiercely. but Mr. S. did not “take,” and my Worse yet; feared he would go into shaft fell hurtless.
hysterics. “ Look'e, sir,” said he in a louder tone, “ He-he-he,” said he at length, “ have the negroes ever done any thing “you look just as if you were meditating great—was there ever a great black man something funny." - tell me that?"
Saw a tittering young lady pointing
me out to another, and heard her whis- A KENTUCKIAN'S ACCOUNT per, “a great wit.” Couldn't stand it any OF A PANTHER-FIGHT. longer. Sneaked off. Swore in my wrath
BY JAMES H. HACKETT. to cut all my acquaintance. Used no reason in laughing, but made it a point to laugh at every thing I said, whether I never was down-hearted but once in my it had any point in it or not. " There life, and that was on seeing the death of a is no chance here," thought I, “to get a faithful friend, who lost his life in trying new character.” They are all predeter- to save mine. The fact is, I was one mined to consider me a wit. I made a day making tracks homeward, after a resolution to change my boarding-place, long tramp through one of our forests— and cut every soul of them.
my rifle carelessly resting on my shoulder Went in search of a new boarding- —when my favourite dog Sport, who house. Found one that suited me ex- was trotting quietly a-head of me, sudactly. Fine rooms, pleasantly situated, denly stopped stock still, gazed into a landlady looked as though she wouldn't big oak tree, bristled up his back, and laugh at trifles, and every thing had a fetched a loud growl. I looked up and very solemn laughter-rebuking air. De- saw, upon a quivering limb, a half-grown lighted with my good fortune, I was panther, crouching down close, and in about to accept her terms, when a little the very act of springing upon him, urchin rushed into the house, crying and With a motion quicker than chain-lightbawling
ning I levelled my rifle, blazed away, “Ma! my nose, my nose, Johnny hit and shot him clean through and through
“ That's true, my little fellow,” said I, set, and claws spread, pitched sprawling “ tell Johnny to blow his own nose, he head foremost to the ground, as dead as had no right to blow yours.”
Julyus Cæsar! That was all fair enough; I had scarcely uttered these half un- but mark! afore I had hardly dropped conscious words, when I heard a titter my rifle, I found myself thrown down from a young lady on the opposite side flat on my profile by the old she-panther, of the room. Immediately I recollected who that minute sprung from an oppoto my dismay, that I had said something site tree, and lit upon my shoulders, which might be twisted into a pun. heavier than all creation! I feel the
“Ha, ha, ha!” roared a gentleman print of her devilish teeth and nails there behind me, as if the joke had dawned now! My dog grew mighty lovingvery gradually upon his mind. “ Pretty he jumped a-top and seized her by the good! pretty good !”
neck; so-we all rolled and clawed, and “ The gentleman is quite a wit,” came a pretty considerable tight scratch we ringing upon my ear.
had of it. I began to think my right “D !” I muttered between my arm was about chawed up; when the teeth, and rushed into the streets like varmint, finding the dog's teeth rayther a madman. " What a cursed slip !” hurt her feelings, let me go altogether, thought I, as I hurried along, dashing and clenched him. Seeing at once that against the passengers, until at length I the dog was undermost, and there was came in contact with an old woman with no two ways about a chance of a chokea basket of chips upon her head, and off or let-up about her, I just out jackaway she went into the gutter.
knife, and with one slash, prehaps I " Is she drunk, eh!" asked a gentle- did n't cut the panther's throat deep man who was passing.
enough for her to breathe the rest of “Merely a little top-heavy,” said I. her life without nostrils! I did feel
“ He, he, he, you seem to be a wit !” mighty savagerous, and, big as she was, was the reply.
I laid hold of her hide by the back with I am not an irascible man. Nay, I an aligator-grip, and slung her against flatter myself I have even an unusual the nearest tree hard enough to make share of the milk of human kindness of every bone in her flash fire.“ There,” that charity which teaches us to bear and says I, “ you infernal varmint, root and forbear-of mercy which “descends like branch, you are what I call used up! the gentle dews of heaven,” and “ bless- But I turned around to look for my eth him that gives and him that takes.” dog, and — and — tears gushed smack
But oh, how I did want to knock that into my eyes, as I see the poor affectionman down! Went home-packed up my ate cretur-all of a gore of blood-half moveables, and started for the country. raised on his fore legs, and trying to
drag his mangled body toward me;
MUTTON AND NO MUTTON.
down he dropped—I run up to him, whistled loud, and gave him a friendly It is odd enough that a sheep when dead shake of the paws-(for I loved my dog!) should turn into mutton, all but its -but he was too far gone ; he had just head ; for, while we ask for a leg or a strength enough to wag his tail feebly shoulder of mutton, we never ask for a -fixed his closing eyes upon me wish- mutton's head: but there is a fruit fully—then gave a gasp or two, and which changes its name still oftener ; all was over!
grapes are so called while fresh, raisins
when dried, and plums when in a MISCELLANIES.
Ar a debating club, the question was The poet Campbell having completed discussed, whether there is more haphis “ Life of Mrs. Siddons,” left Eng- piness in the possession or pursuit of an land about six weeks ago, and proceeded object ? “ Mr. President,” said an to Paris. By a letter received from him orator, “suppose I was courtin' a gal dated the 1st of September, addressed'to and she was to run away, and I was to a gentleman in London, we learn that run after her ; would n't I be happier he has set out for Algiers. “ I am going,” when I cotch'd her, than when I was says he, “to Algiers. To-morrow I set running after her ?” out for Lyons, and from thence shall proceed to Toulon, and shall embark on
Ar a baker's, at the west end of the town, board the same packet-boat with Mons.
any lady or gentleman so disposed may Lawrence, the distinguished Deputy of step in and have, as we are informed by the Lower Chamber, who is sent out a
a notice over the door, his or her "vitals second time by government as inspector baked here.” of the new colony.”
AMERICAN 'CUTENESS. A widow woman, with seven children, We have heard a good story illustrative having applied for some time in vain for of the trafficking character of the Newhired lodgings, at last practised the fol- Bedford people, and of the illustrative lowing finesse to obtain a shelter for nature of some of their profits.
A good herself and offspring. Observing a
old lady of that town had two sons, aged notice of lodgings to let, in a house
ten and twelve years, who were, she situated next to a churchyard, she said, such real New-Bedforders, though ordered her children to play in the she said it, who had n't ought to say it, churchyard while she inquired respecting hour together, “ they would make five
that when shut up in a close room an the apartments. The first question on entering the threshold was,
dollars profits a-piece in swapping jackets have you any children ?” to which she with each other!” replied, in a saint-like and pathetic tone, “ They are all in the churchyard.” The “ Some years ago," says a foreign journal, effect was instantaneous—writings were “the captain of a Corsair carried off the drawn up-the rooms secured, and the wife of a poor wood-cutter, residing in lady came to take possession of them. the neighbourhood of Messina. After The hostess was horror-struck on be. detaining her for several months on holding her children, and refused them board his vessel, he landed her on an admittance; but nothing being said on island in the South seas, wholly regardthis point “in the bond,” she was fain less of what might befall her. obliged to make a virtue of necessity, pened that the woman was presented to and make the best of a bad bargain. the savage monarch of the island, who
became enamoured of her. He made “Will ye dine with me to-morrow ?” her his wife, placed her on the throne, said a Hibernian to his friend. -“ Faith and at his death left her sole sovereign an' I will, with all my heart.”- "_" Re- of his dominions. By a European mimber, 'tis only a family dinner I'm vessel, which recently touched at the asking ye to."-"And what for not? A island, the poor wood-cutter has received family dinner is a mighty plisant thing! intelligence of his wife. She sent him What have ye got ?". -“Och! nothing presents of such vast value, that he will by common! Jist an iligant pace of probably be one of the wealthiest private corned beef and potatoes !”—“By the individuals in Sicily, until it shall please powers ! that bates the world! Jist my her majesty, his august spouse, own dinner to a hair-barring the beef!" summon him to her court.”
ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE.
IRISH INVITATION TO DINNER.
THE RUNAWAY NEGRO. one, and the writer may stand a chance A FACT.
of being hung!”
Upon hearing these words, the negro (For the Parierre).
eagerly snatched the paper, and in spite
of Ward's endeavour to prevent him, he About eleven years ago, there lived on tore it into a hundred pieces. Alleghany mountain, in Hampshire “ Hum,” said Ward to himself, “a county, a farmer named Lloyd Ward. runaway nigger !” and he at once made Though of large and powerful frame, he up his mind to capture the fugitive. was remarkably active, and a man of “Me tell de trute, massa," said the great courage; qualities which were once negro, perceiving that he was discovered; put to a severe test in the following “me come from Big Capon.— Massa manner :
will buy him ?” One morning a negro made his ap- “ No,” replied Ward, “I have no pearance at Ward's house, and requested money to spare.” something to eat. His request was “ Massa will hire ?" complied with; and while the sable “I can do neither,” rejoined the visitor was dispatching his meal, the farmer; “but I have a friend who may farmer interrogated him as to his name, perhaps want a help, and I will take and the person to whom he belonged you to him.”
To these inquiries, the negro replied To this proposition the black readily by producing a dirty piece of paper, assented, and he and Ward departed which Ward, upon unfolding, perceived together, the latter taking with him his to be a forged pass.
double-barrelled gun, and being fol. “ Dat will tell you who me b’long to, lowed by a large dog. massa," said the negro.
As they proceeded on their way, the “ This wont do, my fine fellow,” re- negro conversed freely with the farmer, marked Ward, as his eye glanced over who did not doubt but that he should the paper, “ you 'll get yourself into make an easy capture of him. Great, trouble, I guess, if you shew this to any therefore, was his astonishment, when,