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as we ourselves. This reflection has led me country? Now, Bellfrey is very ignorant, and into the consideration of the use of speech; and much a clown; but confident withal. In a made me look over in my memory, all my ac- word, be struck up a fox-chase ; lady Daiuty's uaintance of both sexes, to know to which Idog, Mr. Sippet, as she calls him, started, may more justly impute the sin of superfluous jumped out of his lady's lap, aud fell a-barking. discourse in regard to conversation, without Bellfrey went on, and called all the neighbourentering into it, as it repects religion.
ing parishes into the square. Never was woman I foresee my acquaintance will immediately, in such confusion as that delicate lady. But upon starting this subject, ask how I shall there was no stopping her kinsman. A room celebrate Mrs. Alse Copswood, the Yorkshire full of ladies fell into the most violent laughter: huntress, who is come to town lately, and moves My lady looked as if she was shriekiog : Mr. as if she were on her nag, and going to take a Sippet in the middle of the room, breaking his five-bar gate; and is as loud as if she were fol-heart with barking, but all of us unheard. As lowing her dogs ! I can easily answer that; for soon as Bellfrey became silent, up gets my lady, she is as soft as Damon, in comparison of her and takes him by the arm, to lead him off; brother-in-law, Tom Bellfrey, who is the most Bellfrey was in his boots. As she was hurryaccomplished man in this kingdom for all gen- ing him away, his spurs take hold of her pettleman-like activities and accomplishments. ticoat ; his whip throws down a cabinet of It is allowed, that he is a professed enemy to china: he cries, “What! are your crocks rot.he Italian performers in music. But then for ten? are your petticoats ragged ? a man canour own native manner, according to the not walk in your house for trincums.' toms and known usages of our island, be is to Every county of Great Britain has one hunbe preferred, for the generality of the pleasure dred or more of this sort of fellows, who roar he bestows, much before those fellows, though instead of speaking. Therefore, if it be true, they sing to full theatres. For what is a that we women are also given to a greater flutheatrical voice to that of a fox-hunter? I bave ency of words than is necessary, sure, she that been at a musical entertainment in an open disturbs but a room or a family, is more to be field, where it amazed me to hear to what tolerated, than one who draws together whole pitches the chief masters would reach. There parishes and counties, and sometimes (with an was a meeting near our seat in Staffordshire, estate that might make him the blessing and and the most eminent of all the counties of ornament of the world around him) has no England were at it. How wonderful was the other view and ambition, but to be an animal barmony between men and dogs! Robin Car-above dogs and borses, without the relish of tail of Bucks was to answer to Jowler; Mr. any one enjoyment which is peculiar to the Tinbreast of Cornwall was appointed to open faculties of human nature. I know it will with Sweetlips, and beau Slimber, a Londoner, here be said, that talking of mere country undertook to keep up with Trips, a whelp just squires at this rate, is, as it were, to write set in : Tom Bellfrey and Ringwood were against Valentine and Orson. To prove any coupled together, to fill the cry on all occa- thing against the race of men, you must take sions, and be in at the death of the fox, bare, them as they are adorned with education ; as or stag; for which, both the dog and the man they live in courts, or have received instrucwere excellently suited, and loved one another, tions in colleges. and were as much together as Banister and But I am so full of my late entertainment King. When Jowler first alarmed the field, by Mr. Bellfrey, that I must defer pursuing Cartail repeated every pote; Sweetlips's treble this subject to another day; and wave the prosucceeded, and shook the wood; Tipbreast per observations upon the different offenders echoed a quarter of a mile beyond it. We in this kind, some by profound eloquence on were soon, after all, at a loss, until we rode up small occasions, others by degrading speech and found Trips and Slimber at a default in upon great circumstances. Expect, therefore, balf notes : but the day and the tune was re- to hear of the whisperer without business, the covered by Tom Bellfrey and Ringwood, to the laugher without wit, the complainer without great joy of us all, though they drowned every receiving injuries, and a very large crowd, other voice: for Bellfrey carries a note four which I shall not forestall, who are common furlongs, three rods, and six paces, farther than (though not commonly observed) impertinents, any other in England.
whose tongues are too voluble for their brains, I fear the mention of this will be thought a and are the general despisers of us women, digression from my purpose about speech : but though we have their superiors, men of sense, I answer, no. Since this is used wbere speech for our servants. rather should be employed, it may come into consideration in the same chapter: for Mr. Bellfrey being at a visit where I was, viz. at Will's Coffee-house, July 3. his cousin's (Lady Dainty's) in Soho-square, A very ingenious gentleman was complainwas asked, what entertainments they had in the ling this evening, that the players are grown so severe critics, that they would not take in bis speculations which are on foot concerning what play, thougb it bas as many fine things in it as was imported by the last advices. There are, any play that bas been writ since the days of it seems, sixty battalions and seventeen squaDryden. He began his discourse about his drons appointed to serve in the siege of Tourplay with a preface.
nay; the garrison of which place consists of There is,' said he,' somewhat (however we but eleven battalions and four squadrons. Letpalliate it) in the very frame and make of us, ters of the twenty-ninth of the last month that subjects our minds to chagrin and irre- from Berlin, have brought advice, that the solution on any emergency of time or place. kings of Denmark and Prussia, and his majesty The difficulty grows on our sickened imagina- Augustus, were, within few days, to come to an tion, under all the killing circumstances of interview at Potsdam. These letters mention, danger and disappointment. This we see, not that two Polish princes, of the family of Sapielia only in the men of retirement and fancy, but in and Lubermirsky, lately arrived from Paris, the characters of the men of action ; with this confirm the reports of the misery in France for only difference, the coward sees the danger, want of provisions, and give a particular inand sickens under it; the hero, warmed by the stance of it; wbiob is, that on the day monsieur difficulty, dilates, and rises in proportion to Rouille returned to court, the common people that, and in some sort makes use of his very gathered in crowds about the dauphin's coach, fears to disarm it. A remarkable instance of crying, ' Peace and bread, bread and peace.' this we bave iu the great Cæsar, when he came Mrs. Distaff bas taken upon her, wbile she to tbe Rubicon, and was entering upon a part, writes this paper, to turn her thoughts wholly perhaps the most hazardous be ever bore (cer. to the service of her own sex, and to propose tainly the most ungrateful) a war with his remedies against the greatest vexations atiendcountrymen. When his mind brooded o'er ing female life. She has for this end written personal affronts, perhaps his anger burned a small treatise concerning the Second Word, with a desire of revenge. But when more se- with an appendix on the use of a Reply, very rious reflections laid before him the hazard of proper for all such as are married to persons the enterprize, with the dismal consequences either ill-bred, or ill-natured. There is in this which were like to attend it, aggravated by a tract a digression for the use of virgins, conspecial circumstance, “What figure it would cerning the words, I Will. bear in the world, or how be excused to pos- A gentlewoman who has a very delicate ear, terity! What shall he do?"--His honour, wants a maid who can whisper, and help her which was bis religion, hids him arm; and he in the government of her family. If the said sounds the inclinations of his party, hy this set servant can clear-starch, lisp, and tread softly, speech:
she shall have suitable encouragement in her
No. 38.] Thursday, July 7, 1709.
Quicquid agnnt homines-
postri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86. Endur'd their ten years drudgery in Gant, Adjoarn'd their fate and sav'd the Capitol.
Whate'er men do, or say, or thiuk, or dream, I grew by every guilty triumph less ;
Our motley paper seizes for its theme.
P. The crowd, when drunk with joy, their souls express, Impatient of the war, yet fear success.
BY MRS. JENNY DISTAFF, HALF-SISTER TO
From my own Apartment, July 6.
I Find among my brother's papers the foiFarewell, my friends, your general forlorn,
lowing letter verbatim, which I wonder how To your bare pity, and the public scorn, Mast lay that hononr and his Laurel down,
he could suppress so long as he has, since it To serve the vain caprices of the gown;
was sent him for no other end, but to show Espos'd to all indignities, the brave
the good effect his writings have already had Deserve of those they gloried bat to save,
upon the ill customs of the age.
London, Jane 23. Or do me justice, ere I hug my chain.
'The end of all public papers ought to be
the benefit and instruction, as well as the diSt. James's Coffee-house, July 4. version of the readers : to which I see none so There has arrived no mail since our last ; truly conducive as your late performances ; so that we have no manner of foreign news, especially those tending to the rooting out except we were to give you for such, the many | from among us, that unchristian-like and
bloody custom of duelling; which, that you MR. BICKERSTAFF,
July 5, 1709. have already in some measure performed, will ' You have hinted a generous intention of appear to the public in the following no less taking under your consideration the whisperers true than heroic story.
without business, and laughers without occa“A noble gentleman of this city, who bas the sion; as you tender the welfare of your country, honour of serving his country as major of the I eutreat you not to forget or delay so publictrainbands, being at the general mart of stock-spirited a work. Now or never is the time. jobbers, called Jonathan's, endeavouring to Many other calamities may cease with the war; raise bimself (as all men of honour ought) to but I dismally dread the multiplication of these the degree of colonel at least; it happened mortals under the ease and luxuriousness of a that he bought the bear of another officer, who, settled peace, half the blessing of which may though not commissioned in the army, yet no be destroyed by them. Their mistake lies cerless eminently serves the public than the other, tainly here, in a wretched belief, that their in raising the credit of the kingdom, by raising mimicry passes for real business, or true wit. that of the stocks. However, having sold the Dear sir, convince them, that it never was, is, bear, and words arising about the delivery, the or ever will be, either of them; por ever did, most noble major, nu less scording to be out. does, or to all futurity ever can, look like either witted in the coffee-house, than to run into of them; but that it is the most cursed disthe field according to method, abused the turbance in nature, which is possible to be inother with the titles of rogue, villain, bear-skin-flicted on mankind, under the noble definition man, and the like. Whereupon satisfaction of a sociable creature. lo doing this, sir, you was demanded, and accepted; so, forth the will oblige more humble servants than can find major marched, commanding his adversary to room to subscribe their names.' follow. To a most spacious room in the sheriff's bouse, near the place of quarrel, they come;
White's Chocolate-house, July 6. where, having due regard to what you have lately In pursuance to my last date from hence, I published, they resolved not to shed one an- am to proceed on the accounts I promised of other's blood in that barbarous manner you several personages among the men, whose couprohibited; yet, not willing to put up affronts spicuous fortunes, or ambition in showing their without satisfaction, they stripped, and, in de follies, have exalted them above their fellows : cent manner, fought full fairly with their wrath. The levity of their minds is visible in their ful hands. The combat lasted a quarter of an every word and gesture, and there is not a day hour; in which time victory was often doubtful, passes but puts me in mind of Mr. Wycherley's and many a dry blow was strenuously laid on character of a coxcomb: 'He is ugly all over by each side, until the major, finding his ad- with the affectation of the fine gentlemen.' versary obstinate, unwilling to give him further Now though the women may put on softness chastisement, with most shrill voice cried out, in their looks, or affected severity, or imperti“I am satisfied, enough!" Whereupon the nent gayety, or pert smartness, their self-love combat ceased, and both were friends imme- and admiration cannot, under any of these disdiately.
guises, appear so invincible as that of the men. * Thus the world may see, how necessary it You may easily take notice, that in all their is to encourage those men, who make it their actions there is a secret approbation, either in business to instruct the people in every thing the tone of their voice, the turn of their body, necessary for their preservation. I am informed, or cast of their eye, which shows that they are a body of worthy citizens have agreed on an extremely in their own favour. address of thanks to you, for what you have Take one of your men of business, he shall writ on the foregoing subject, whereby they keep you half an hour with your hat off, enteracknowledge one of their highly esteemed taining you with bis consideration of that affair officers preserved from death.
you spoke of to him last, until he has drawn a Your humble servant, crowd that observes you in this grimace. Then,
" A, B.' when he is public enough, he immediately runs
into secrets, and falls a-wbispering. You and I fear the word bear is hardly to be under he make breaks with adverbs; as,
But howstood among the polite people ; but I take the ever, thus far;' and then you wbisper again, meaning to be, that one who insures a real and so on, until they who are about you are value upon an imaginary thing, is said to sell dispersed, and your busy man's vanity is no a bear, and is the same thing as a promise longer gratified by the notice taken of what among courtiers, or a vow between lovers. I importance he is, and how inconsiderable you have writ to my brother to hasten to town ; are; for your pretender to business is never in and hope that printing the letters directed to secret, but in public. him, which I know not how to answer, will There is my dear lord Nowhere, of all men bring him speedily; and, therefore, I add also the most gracious and most obliging, the terror the following:
of valets de chambre, whom he oppresses with
good-breeding, by enquiring for my good lord, reflect upon that sort of men we usually call and for my good lady's health. This inimitable an impertinent : and I am, upon mature delicourtier will wbisper a privy-counsellor's lac.beration, so far from being offended with bim, quey with the utmost goodness and conde- that I am really obliged to him; for though scension, to know when they next sit; and is he will take you aside, and talk half an hour thoroughly taken up, and thinks he has a part to you upon matters wbully insignificant with in a secret, if he knows that there is a secret. the most solemn air, yet I consider, that these 'What it is,' he will whisper you, that “time things are of weight in bis imagination, and will discover ;' then he shrugs, and calls you he thinks he is communicating what is for my back again'Sir, I need not say to you, that service. If, therefore, it be a just rule, to judge these things are not to be spoken of- -and of a man by bis intention, according to the barkye, no names, I would not be quoted.' equity of good breeding, he that is impertinently What adds to the jest is, that his emptiness kind or wise, to do you service, ought in rehas its moods and seasons, and he will notturn to have a proportionable place both in condescend to let you into these his discoveries, your affection and esteem; so that the courteous except be is in very good humour, or has seen Umbra deserves the favour of all bis acquaintsomebody of fashion talk to you. He will keep ance; for though he never served them, he is his nothing to himself, and pass by and over- ever willing to do it, and believes he does it. look as well as the best of them ; not observing As impotent kindness is to be returned with that he is insolent when he is gracious, and all our abilities to oblige ; so impotent malice obliging when he is baughty. Show me a wo- is to be treated with all our force to depress it. man so inconsiderable as this frequent cha- Fur this reason Fly-blow (who is received in all racter.
the families in town, through the degeneracy But my mind, now I am in, turns to many and iniquity of their manners) is to be treated no less observable: Thou dear Will Shoestring! like a kuave, though be is one of the weakest I profess myself in love with thee! how shall of fools: he has by rote, and at second-hand, I speak thee? bow shall I address thee? how all that can be said of any man of figure, wit, shall I draw thee? thou dear outside! Will and virtue, in town. Name a man of worth, you be combing your wig, playing with your and this creature tells you the worst passage box, or picking your teeth? or choosest thou of his life. Speak of a beautiful woman, and ratber to be speaking; to be speaking for thy this puppy will whisper the next man to him, only purpose in speaking, to show your teeth ? thuugh he has nothing to say of her. He is a Rub them no longer, dear Shoestring :* do not Ay that feeds on the sore part, and would have premeditate murder: do not for ever whiten. nothing to live on if the whole body were in Oh! that for my quiet and his owu they were health. You may know bim by the frequency rotten!
of pronouncing the particle but ; for which But I will forget bim, and give my hand to reason I never heard him spoke of with comtbe courteous Umbra. He is a fine man in- mon charity, without using my but against deed, but the soft creature bows below my him: for a friend of mine saying the other aprop-string, before he takes it; yet, after the Jay, Mrs. Distaff has wit, good-humour, virtue, first ceremonies, he is as familiar as my pby- and friendship ;' this oaf added, “But she is sician, and his insignificancy makes me hall not handsome.' Coxcomb! the gentleman ready to complain to him of all I would to my was saying what I was, not what I was not.' doctor. He is so courteous, that he carries half the messages of ladies' ails in town to their
St. James's Coffee-house, July 6. midwives and nurses. He understands too the The approaches before Tournay have been art of medicine as far as to the cure of a pimply carried ou with great success; and our advices or a rash. On occasions of the like importance, from the camp before that place of the eleventh be is the most assiduous of all men liring, in instant say that they had already made a lodgconsulting and searching precedents from fa- ment on the glacis. Two hundred boats were mily to family; then he speaks of his obse- come up the Scheld with the heavy artillery quiousness and diligence in the style of real and ammunition, which would be employed in services. If you sneer at him, and thank him dismounting the enemy's defences, and raised for bis great friendship, be bows, and says, on the batteries the fifteenth. A great body of
Madam, all the good offices in my power, miners are summoned to the camp, to counwhile I have any knowledge or credit, shall be termine the works of the enemy. at your service. The consideration of so shal- convinced of the weakness of the garrison by low a being, and the intent application with a certain account, that they called a council of which he pursues trifles has made me carefully war to consult whether it was not advisable to
march into the citadel, and leave the town de
fenceless. We are assured, that when the • Sir William Whitlocke, knight, member for Oxun; confederate army was advancing towards the bencher of the Middle Temple: He is the learned knight ntationce Tat. No 43.
camp of marshal Villars, that general dispatched
a courier to his master with a letter, giving an only is human life! Here only the life of mar account of their approach, which concluded is that of a rational being! Here men underwith the following words: 'The day begins to stand and are employed in works worthy their break, and, your majesty's army is already in noble nature. This transitory being passes order of battle. Before noon I hope to have away in an employment not unworthy a future the honour of congratulating your majesty on state, the contemplation of the great decrees the success of a great action; and you shall be of Providence. Each man lives as if he were very well satisfied with the marshal Villars.' to answer the questions made to Job,“ Where
Mrs. Distaff hath received the dialogue, wast thou when I laid the foundations of the dated Monday evening, which she has sent earth? Who shut up the sea with doors, and forward to Mr. Bickerstaff at Maideuhead: said, “Hitherto thou shalt come, and no farand in the mean time gives her service to the ther?' Such speculations make life agreeable, parties.
and death welcome. It is to be noted, that when any part of this But, aias! I was torp from this noble society paper appears dull, there is a design in it. by the business of this dirty mcan world, and
the cares of fortune: for I was obliged to be in
London against the seventh day of the term,
and accordingly governed myself by my Oxford
almanack,* and came last night ; but find, to Quicqnid agant homines
Juv. Sal. i. 85, 86. - nostri est farrago libelli.
my great astonishment, that this ignorant
town began the term on the twenty-fourth of Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
the last month, in opposition to all the learn. Our motley paper scizes for its theme.
ing and astronomy of the famous University of BY ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, ESQ.
which I have been speaking; according to Grecian Coffee-house, July 7.
which, the term certainly was to commence on
the first instant. You may be sure a man, As I am called forth by the immense love who has turned his studies as I have, could not I bear to my fellow-creatures, and the warm be mistaken in point of time ; for knowing I inclination I feel within me, to stem, as far as
was to come to town in term, I examined the I can, the prevailing torrent of vice and igno- passing moments very narrowly, and called an rance ; so I cannot more properly pursue that eminent astronomer to my assistance. Upon noble impulse than by setting forth the excel
very strict observation we found, that the cold lence of virtue and knowledge in their native has been so severe this last winter (which is and beautiful colours. For this reason, I made allowed to have a benumbing quality) that it my late excursion to Oxford, where those retarded the earth in moving round, from qualities appear in their highest lustre, and are Christmas to this season, full seven days and the only pretences to honour and distinction. two seconds. My learned friend assured me Superiority is there given in proportion to men's further, that the earth had lately received a advancement in wisdom and learning; and shogg from a comet that crossed its vortex, that just rule of life is so universally received which, if it had come ten degrecs nearer to us among those happy people, that you shall see
had made us lose this whole term. I was inan earl walk bare-beaded to the son of the deed once of opinion that the Gregorian commeanest artificer, in respect to seven years more putation was the most regular, as being eleven worth and knowledge than the nobleman is days before the Julian ; but am now fully con. possessed of. In other places they bow to men's vinced, that we ought to be seven days after fortunes, but here to their understandings. It the chancellor and judges, and eighteen before is not to be expressed, how pleasing the order, the pope of Rome; and that the Oxonian comthe discipline, the regularity of their lives, is putation is the best of the three. to a philosopher, who bas, by many years These are the reasons which I have gathered experience in the world, learned to contemn from philosophy and nature; to which I can every thing but what is revered in this mansion add other circumstances in vindication of the of select and well-taught spirits. The magni-account of this learned body who publish this ficence of their palaces, the greatness of their almanack. revenues, the sweetness of their groves and re
It is notorious to philosophers, that joy and tirements, seem equally adapted for the resi: grief can hasten and delay time. Mr. Locke dence of prioces and philosophers; and a fami. is of opinion, that a man in great misery may liarity with objects of splendour, as well as places of recess, prepares the inhabitants with an equanimity for their future fortunes, whether to the Oxford almanack for the year 1709; it is equally
• The hamour of this paper is not pocnliarly restricteel bumble or illustrious. How was I pleased when applicable to all the Oxford almanacks beure or since I looked round at St. Mary's and could, in the that period, being founder on the difference between the faces of the ingenious youth, see ministers of University terms and the Law terms, just as obvious now
as it was then, as may be seen, by comparing the Oxford state, chancellors, bishops, and judges. Here with the London almanack.