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'I know thee, Isaac, to be so well versed in the occult sciences, that I need not much preface, or make long preparations to gain your faith that there are airy beings who are employed in the care and attendance of men, as nurses are to infants, until they come to an age in which they can act of themselves. These beings are usually called amongst men, guardian-angels; and, Mr. Bickerstaff, I am to acquaint you, that I am to be yours for some time to come; it being our orders to vary our stations, and sometimes to have one patient under our protection, and sometimes another, with a power of assuming what shape we please, to ensnare our wards into their own good. I have of late been upon such hard duty, and know you have so much work for me, that I think fit to appear to you face to face, to desire you will give me as little occasion for vigilance as you can.' 'Sir,' said I, it will be a great instruction to me in my behaviour, if you please to give me some account of your late employments, and what hardships or satisfactions you have had in them, that I may govern myself accordingly.' He answered, To give you an example of the drudgery we go through, I will entertain you only with my three last stations: I was on the first of April last put to mortify a great beauty, with whom I was a week; from her I went to a common swearer, and have been last with a gamester. When I first came to my lady, I found my great work was to guard well her eyes and ears; but her flatterers were so numerous, and the house, after the modern way, so full of looking-glasses, that I seldom had her safe but in her sleep. Whenever we went abroad, we were surrounded by an army of enemies: when a well-made man appeared, he was sure to have a side glance of observation; if a disagreeable fellow, he had a full face, out of mere inclination to conquests. But at the close of the evening, on the sixth of the last month, my ward was sitting on a couch, reading Ovid's Epistles; and as she came to this line of Helen to Paris,

'She half consents who silently denies ;'

entered Philander,+ who is the most skilful of all men in an address to women. He is arrived at the perfection of that art which gains them, which is, to talk like a very miserable man, but look like a happy one.' I saw Dictinna blush at his entrance, which gave me the alarm; but he immediately said something so agreeably on her being at study, and the novel of finding a lady employed in so grave a manner,

This line occurs in a joint translation of Helen's Epis tle to Paris, by the earl of Mulgrave and Dryden, in the edition of Ovid's Epistles,' 1709.

↑ Supposed to be lord Halifax.

that he on a sudden became very familiarly a man of no consequence; and in an instant laid all her suspicions of his skill asleep, as he had almost done mine, until I observed him very dangerously turn his discourse upon the ele gance of her dress, and her judgment in the choice of that very pretty mourning. Having had women before under my care, I trembled at the apprehension of a man of sense who could talk upon trifles, and resolved to stick to my post with all the circumspection imaginable. In short, I prepossessed her against all he could say to the advantage of her dress and person; but he turned again the discourse, where I found I had no power over her, on the abusing her friends and acquaintance. He allowed indeed that Flora had a little beauty, and a great deal of wit; but then she was so ungainly in her behaviour, and such a laughing hoyden!—Pastorella had with him the allowance of being blameless; but what was that towards being praise-worthy? To be only innocent, is not to be virtuous! He afterwards spoke so much against Mrs. Dipple's forehead, Mrs. Prim's mouth, Mrs. Dentifrice's teeth, and Mrs. Fidget's cheeks, that she grew downright in love with him; for, it is always to be understood, that a lady takes all you detract from the rest of her sex to be a gift to her. In a word, things went so far, that I was dismissed, and she will remember that evening nine months, from the sixth of April, by a very remarkable token. The next, as I said, I



went to, was a common swearer: never was a creature so puzzled as myself, when I came first to view his brain: half of it was worn out, and filled up with mere expletives, that had nothing to do with any other parts of the texture; therefore, when he called for his clothes in a morning, he would cry, John!'-John does not answer. What a plague! nobody there? What the devil, and rot me, John, for a lazy dog as you are!' I knew no way to cure him, but by writing down all he said one morning as he was dressing, and laying it before him on the toilet when he came to pick his teeth. The last recital I gave him of what he said for half an hour before was, What, a pox rot me! where is the wash-ball? call the chairmen: damn them, I warrant they are at the alehouse already! zounds, and confound them! When he came to the glass, he takes up my note- Ha! this fellow is worse than 1-what, does he swear with pen and ink!' But, reading on, he found them to be his own words. The stratagem had so good an effect upon him, that he grew immediately a new man, and is learning to speak without an oath, which makes him extremely short in his phrases; for, as I observed before, a common swearer has a brain without any idea on the swearing side; therefore my ward has yet mighty little to say, and is forced to substitute

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shall meet with, laden with corn, and bound for France; and, to avoid all cause of complaint from the potentates to whom these ships shall belong, their full demand for their freight shall be paid them there. The French Protestants residing in that country have applied

some other vehicle of nonsense, to supply the defect of his usual expletives. When I left him, he made use of 'Odsbodikins! Oh me! and never stir alive! and so forth; which gave me hopes of his recovery. So I went to the next I told you of, the gamester. When we first take our place about a man, the re-themselves to their respective magistrates, de ceptacles of the pericranium are immediately siring that there may be an article in the treaty searched. In his, I found no one ordinary trace of peace, which may give liberty of conscience of thinking; but strong passion, violent desires, to the Protestants in France. Monsieur Bosand a continued series of different changes, had nage, minister of the Walloon church at Rottorn it to pieces. There appeared no middle terdam, has been at the Hague, and hath had condition; the triumph of a prince, or the some conferences with the deputies of the States misery of a beggar, were his alternate states. on that subject. It is reported there, that all I was with him no longer than one day, which the French refugees in those dominions are to was yesterday. In the morning at twelve, we be naturalized, that they may enjoy the same were worth four thousand pounds; at three, we good effects of the treaty with the Hollanders were arrived at six thousand; half an hour themselves, in respect of France. after, we were reduced to'one thousand; at four of the clock, we were down to two hundred; at five, to fifty; at six, to five; at seven, to one guinea; the next bet, to nothing. This morning he borrowed half-a-crown of the maid who cleans his shoes; and is now gaming in Lincoln's-InnFields among the boys for farthings and oranges, until he has made up three pieces, and then he returns to White's into the best company in town.'

Letters from Paris say, the people conceive great hopes of a sudden peace, from monsieur Torcy's being employed in the negotiation; he being a minister of too great weight in that court, to be sent on any employmet in which his master would not act in a manner wherein he might justly promise himself success. The French advices add, that there is an insurrection in Poictou, three thousand men having taken up arms, and beaten the troops which were appointed to disperse them; three of the mutineers, being taken, were immediately exein-cuted; and as many of the king's party were used after the same manner.

Thus ended our first discourse; and, it is hoped, you will forgive me that I have picked so little out of my companion at our first terview. In the next, it is possible, he may tell me more pleasing incidents; for, though he is a familiar, he is not an evil spirit.

Our late act of naturalization hath had sc great an effect in foreign parts, that some princes have prohibited the French refugees it their dominions to sell or transfer their estates to any other of their subjects; and, at the same time, have granted them greater immunities than they hitherto enjoyed. It has been also thought necessary to restrain their own subjects from leaving their country on pain of death.

St. James's Coffee-house, May 9.

We hear from the Hague, of the fourteenth instant, N. S. that monsieur de Torcy bath had frequent conferences with the grand pensioner, and the other ministers who were heretofore commissioned to treat with monsieur Rouille. The preliminaries of a peace are almost settled, and the proceedings wait only for the arrival of the duke of Marlborough; after whose approbation of the articles proposed, it is not doubted but the methods of the treaty will be publicly known. In the mean time, the States have declared an abhorrence of taking any step in this great affair, but in concert with the court of Great Britain, and other princes of the alli

From my own Apartment, May 10.

HAD it not been that my familiar had ap


The posture of affairs in France does ne-peared to me, as I told you in my last, in percessarily oblige that nation to be very much inson, I had certainly been unable to have found earnest in their offers; and monsieur de Torcy even words without meaning, to keep up my hath professed to the grand pensioner, that he intelligence with the town; but he has checked will avoid all occasions of giving him the least me severely for my despondence, and ordered jealousy of his using any address in private me to go on in my design of observing upon conversation for accomplishing the ends of his things, and forbearing persons; for, said he, embassy. It is said, that as soon as the pre- the age you live in is such, that a good picture liminaries are adjusted, that minister is to re- of any vice or virtue will infallibly be misrepreturn to the French court. The states of Hol-sented; and though none will take the kind land have resolved to make it an instruction to descriptions you make so much to themselves, all their men-of-war and privateers, to bring as to wish well to the author, yet all will resent into their ports whatever neutral ships they the ill characters you produce, out of fear of

No. 14.]

Thursday, May 12, 1709.

Quicquid agunt homines

-nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86. 'Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, Our motley paper seizes for its thetne.'


their own turn in the licence you must be obliged to take, if you point at particular persons. I took his admonition kindly, and imme. diately promised him to beg pardon of the author of the "Advice to the Poets," for my raillery upon his work; though I aimed at no more in that examination, but to convince him, and all men of genius, of the folly of laying themselves out on such plans as are below their characters. I hope too it was done without ill breeding, and nothing spoken below what a civilian (as it is allowed I am,) may utter to a physician. After this preface, all the world may be safe from my writings; for, if I can find nothing to commend, I am silent, and will forbear the subject: for, though I am a reformer, I scorn to be an inquisitor.

wanted a lodging, Trick-track sent him to gaol for a thief: if a poor whore went only with one thin petticoat, Tear-shift would imprison her for being loose in her dress. These patriots infested the days of Verus, while they alternately committed and released each other's prisoners. But Verus regarded them as criminals, and always looked upon men as they stood in the eye of justice, without respecting whether they sat on the bench, or stood at the bar.

Will's Coffee-house, May 11.

Yesterday we were entertained with the tragedy of the Earl of Essex; in which there is not one good line, and yet a play which was never seen without drawing tears from some part of the audience; a remarkable instance that the soul is not to be moved by words, but things; for the incidents in this drama are laid together so happily, that the spectator makes the play for himself, by the force which the

It would become all men, as well as me, to day before them the noble character of Verus the magistrate, who always sat in triumph over, and contempt of, vice: he never searched after it, or spared it when it came before him: at the same time he could see through the hy-circumstance has upon his imagination. Thus, pocrisy and disguise of those, who have no pre-in spite of the most dry discourses, and exprestence to virtue themselves, but by their seve- sions almost ridiculous with respect to prority to the vicious. This same Verus was, in priety, it is imposible for one unprejudiced to times past, chief justice (as we call it amongst see it, untouched with pity. I must confess, us,) in Felicia.§ He was a man of profound this effect is not wrought on such as examine knowledge of the laws of his country, and as why they are pleased; but it never fails to just an observer of them in his own person. appear on those who are not too learned in He considered justice as a cardinal virtue, not nature, to be moved by her first suggestions. as a trade for maintenance. Wherever he was It is certain, the person and behaviour of Mr. idge, he never forgot that he was also counsel. Wilks has no small share in conducing to the The criminal before him was always sure he popularity of the play; and when a handsome stood before his country, and, in a sort, a fellow is going to a more coarse exit than beparent of it. The prisoner knew, that though heading, his shape and countenance make his spirit was broken with guilt, and incapable every tender one reprieve him with all her of language to defend itself, all would be heart, without waiting until she hears his dying gathered from him which could conduce to his words. safety; and that his judge would wrest no law to destroy him, nor conceal any that could save him. In this time there was a nest of pretenders to justice, who happened to be employed to put things in a method for being examined before him at his usual sessions: these animals were to Verus, as monkeys are to men, so like, that you can hardly disown them; but so base, that you are ashamed of their fraternity. It grew a phrase, Who would do justice on the justices?' That certainly would Verus. I have seen an old trial where he sat judge on two of them; one was called Trick-track, the other Tear-shift: one was a learned judge of sharpers; the other the quickest of all men at finding out a wench. Trick-track never spared a pick-pocket, but was a companion to cheats: Tear-shift would make compliments to wenches of quality, but certainly commit poor ones. If a poor rogue

* Sir Richard Blackmote.

Sir John Holt, lord chief justice in the reign of king William III. and for some years after that king's death. Britain.

This evening, The Alchymist was played. † This comedy is an example of Ben Jonson's extensive genius, and penetration into the passions and follies of mankind. The scene in the fourth act, where all the cheated people oppose the man that would open their eyes, has something in it so inimitably excellent, that it is certainly as great a master-piece as has ever appeared by any hand. The author' great address in showing covetousness, the motive of the actions of the puritan, the epicure, the gamester, and the trader; and that all their endeavours, how differently soever they seem to tend, centre only in that one point of gain, shows he had, to a great perfection, tha discernment of spirit which constitutes a geniu for comedy.

White's Chocolate-house, May 11.
It is not to be imagined, how far the vio-

*By John Banks, 4to. 1685; the prologue and the epi logue by Dryden.

The Alchymist' was first acted in 1610, and published in ito. the same year.


them; but, in a word, Careless is a coxcomb, and Nice a fop: both, you will say, very hopeful candidates for a gay young woman just set at liberty. But there is a whisper, her maid will give her to Tom-Terror the gamester. This fellow has undone so many women, that he will certainly succeed if he is introduced; for nothing so much prevails with the vain part of that sex, as the glory of deceiving them who have deceived others.

Desunt multa.

lence of our desires will carry us towards our
own deceit in the pursuit of what we wish for.
A gentleman here this evening was giving me
an account of a dumb fortune-teller, who
outdoes Mr. Partridge, myself, or the Unborn
Joctor,† for predictions; all his visitants come
to him full of expectations, and pay his own
rate for the interpretations they put upon his
shrugs and nods. There is a fine rich city
widow stole thither the other day (though it is
not six weeks since her husband's departure
from her company to rest,) and with her trusty
maid demanded of him, whether she should
marry again, by holding up two fingers like
horns on her forehead. The wizard held up
both his hands forked. The relict desired to
know, whether he meant, by his holding up
both hands, to represent that she had one hus-
band before, and that she should have another?
or, that he intimated she should have two
more? The cunning man looked a little sour,
upon which Betty jogged her mistress, who
gave the other guinea; and he made her
understand, she should positively have two
more; but shaked his head, and hinted that
they should not live long with her. The widow
sighed, and gave him the other half-guinea.
After this prepossession, all that she had next
to do was to make sallies to our end of the
town, and find out who it is her fate to have.
There are two who frequent this place, whom
she takes to be men of vogue, and of whom her
imagination has given her the choice. They
are both the appearances of fine gentlemen, to
such as do not know when they see persons of
that turn; and, indeed they are industrious
enough to come at that character, to deserve
the reputation of being such. But this town
will not allow us to be the things we seem to
aim at, and is too discerning to be fobbed off
with pretences. One of these pretty fellows
fails by his laborious exactness; the other, by
bis as much studied negligence. Frank Care-
less, as soon as his valet has helped on and ad-
justed his cloaths, goes to his glass, sets his wig
awiy, tumbles his cravat; and, in short, un-
dresses himself to go into company. Will Nice
is so little satisfied with his dress, that all the
time he is at a visit, he is still mending it, and
is for that reason the more insufferable; for
he who studies carelessness has, at least, his
work the sooner done of the two. The widow
is distracted whom to take for her first man;
for Nice is every way so careful, that she fears
his length of days; and Frank is so loose, that
she has apprehensions for her own health with
him. I am puzzled how to give a just idea of


St. James's Coffee-house, May 11. Letters from Berlin, bearing date May the eleventh, N. S. inform us, that the birth-day of her Prussian majesty has been celebrated there with all possible magnificence; and the king made her, on that occasion, a present of jewels to the value of thirty thousand crowns. The marquis de Quesne, who has distinguished himself by his great zeal for the Protestant interest, was, at the time of the despatch of these letters, at that court, soliciting the king to take care, that an article in behalf of the refugees, admitting their return to France, should be inserted in the treaty of peace. They write from Hanover, of the fourteenth, that his electoral highness had received an express from count Merei, representing how necessary it was to the common cause, that he would please to hasten to the Rhine; for that nothing but his presence could quicken the measures towards bringing the imperial army into the field. There are very many speculations upon the intended interview of the king of Denmark and king Augustus. The latter has made such preparations for the reception of the other, that it is said, bis Danish majesty will be entertained in Saxony with much more elegance than he met with in Italy itself.

Letters from the Hague, of the eighteenth instant, N. S. say, that his grace the duke of Marlborough landed the night before at the Brill, after having been kept out at sea, by adverse winds, two days longer than is usual in that passage. His excellency the lord Townshend, her majesty's ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary to the states-general, was driven into the Veer in Zealand on Thursday last, from whence he came to the Hague within few hours after the arrival of his grace. The duke, soon after his coming to the Hague, had a visit from the pensioner of Holland. All things relative to the peace were in suspense until this interview; nor is it yet known what resolutions will be taken on that subject; for the troops of the allies have fresh orders despatched to them, to move from their respective quarters, and march with all expedition to the frontiers, where the enemy are making their utmost efforts for the defence of their country. These advices further inform us, that the marquis de Torcy had received an answer from the

Duncan Campbell, said to be deaf and dumb, who practised at this time on the credulity of the volgar, and pretended to predict fortunes by the second sight, &c.

The real name of the quack-doctor and man-midwife, whe affected to be distinguished as 'unborn,' was Kirlens.

court of France, to his letters which he had condition of yours; and you would say I had sent thither by an express on the Friday be-enough of it in a month, were I to tell you all fore. my misfortunes,' A life of a month cannot have, one would think, much variety. But pray,' said 1,‘let us have your story.'


Then he proceeds in the following manner: 'It was one of the most wealthy familes in Great Britain into which I was born, and it was a very great happiness to me that it so happened, otherwise I had still, in all probability, been living; but I shall recount to you

'Mr. Bickerstaff has received letters from Mr. Coltstaff, Mr. Whipstaff, and Mrs. Rebecca Wagstaff; a which relate chiefly to their being left out in the genealogy of the family lately published; but my cousin who writ that draught, being a clerk in the Herald's office, and being at present under the displeasure of the chapter; it is feared, if that matter should be touched upon at this time, the young gen-all the occurrences of my short and miserable existence, just as, by examining into the traces made in my brain, they appeared to me at that time. The first thing that ever struck my senses was a noise over my head of one shrieking; after which, methought, I took a full jump, and found myself in the hands of a sorceress, who seemed as if she had been long waking, and employed in some incantation: 17 was thoroughly frightened, and cried out; but she immediately seemed to go on in some magical operation, and anointed me from head to foot. What they meant, I could not imagine; for there gathered a great crowd about me, crying, “ An heir! an heir!" upon which I grew a little still, and believed this was a ceremony to be used only to great persons, and such as made them, what they called heirs.

lay very quiet; but the witch, for no manner of reason or provocation in the world, takes me, and binds my head as hard as possibly she could; then ties up both my legs, and makes me swallow down a horrid mixture. I thought it a harsh entrance into life, to begin with taking physic; but I was forced to it, or else which she gave it me. must have taken down a great instrument in When I was thus dressed, I was carried to a bed side, where a have hugged me to death. fine young lady (my mother I wot) had like to From her, they faced me about, and there was a thing with quite another look from the rest of the company, to whom they talked about my nose. He seemed wonderfully pleased to see me; but I knew since, my nose belonged to another family. That into which I was born is one of the most numerous amongst you; therefor crowds of relations came every day to congratulate my arrival, amongst others, my cousin Betty, the greatest romp in nature: she whisks me such a height over her head, that I cried called me squealing chit, and threw me into out for fear of falling. She pinched me, and The girl was very proud of the womanly ema girl's arms that was taken in to tend me. strip and dress me a-new, because I made a ployment of a nurse, and took upon her to noise, to see what ailed me: she did so, and stuck a pin in every joint about me. I still cried upon which, she lays me on my face in her lap; and, to quiet me, fell a-nailing in all the pins, by clapping me on the back, and

tleman would lose his place for treason against the king of arms.

'Castabella's complaint is come to hand.'

No. 15.]

Saturday, May 14, 1709.

Quicquid agunt homines

-nostri est farrago libelli.
Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86.
Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
Our motley paper seizes for it's theme.

From my own Apartment, May 12.

I HAVE taken a resolution hereafter, on any want of intelligence, to carry my familiar abroad with me, who has promised to give me very proper and just notices of persons and things, to make up the history of the passing day. He is wonderfully skilful in the knowledge of men and manners, which has made me more than ordinary curious to know how he came to that perfection, and I communicated to him that doubt. 'Mr. Pacolet,' said I, ‘I am mightily surprised to see you so good a judge of our nature and circumstances, since you are a mere spirit, and have no knowledge of the bodily part of us.' He answered, smiling, You are mistaken; I have been one of you, and lived a month amongst you, which gives me an exact sense of your condition. You are to know, that all, who enter into buman life, have a certain date or stamen given to their being, which they only who die of age may be said to have arrived at; but it is ordered some


times by fate, that such as die infants are,

after death, to attend mankind to the end of that stamen of being in themselves, which was broke off by sickness or any other disaster. These are proper guardians to men, as being sensible of the infirmity of their state. You are philosopher enough to know, that the difference of men's understandings proceeds only from the various dispositions of their organs; so that he who dies at a month old, is in the next life as knowing, though more innocent, as they who live to fifty; and after death, they have as perfect a memory and judgment of all that passed in their lifetime, as I have of all the revolutions in that uneasy turbulent

* See a humourons geacalogical account of the Staffin Lanly, No. 11.

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