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tincnt queries, which he is puzzled to answer, our generals laid before the world? Why do and then join in commending it the sincerest we not know where aod whow to applaud ? If way, by freely owning he does not understand it. we are victorious, why do we not give an ac
In pursuing this design, you will always count of our captives and our slain? But we have a large scene before you, and can never be are to be satisfied with general notices we are at a loss for characters to entertain a town so conquerors, and to believe it so, Sure this is plentifully stocked with them. The follies of approving the despotic way of treating the the finest minds, wbich a pluilosophic surgeon worlıl, which we pretend to fight against, if we knows how to dissect, will best employ your sit down satisfied with such contradictory acskill; and of this sort, I take the liberty to counts, which have the words of triumplı, but send you the following sketch.
do not bear the spirit of it.' I wbispered Mr. Cleontes is a man of good family, good Greenhat, Pray, what can that dissatisfied learning, entertaining conversation, and acute man be?' 'He is,' answered he, a character
He talks well, is master of style, and you have not yet perhaps observed. You have writes not contemptibly in verse Yet all this heard of battle-painters, have mentioned a serves but to make him politely ridiculous; and battle-poet; but this is a battle-critic. He is he is above the rank of common characters, a fellow that lives in a government so gentle, only to have the privilege of being laughed at that, though it sees hiin an enemy, suffers his by the best. His family makes bim proud and inalice, because they know his impotence. lle scornful; bis learning, assuming and absurd; is to examine the weight of an advantage beand his wit, arrogant and satirical. He mixes fore the company will allow it.' Greenbat was some of the best qualities of the head with the going on in his explanation, when sir George worst of the heart. Every body is entertained England thought fit to take up the discourse by him, while nobody esteems him.'
in the following manner : I am, sir,
Gentlemen, The action you are in so great Your most affectionate monitor, doubt to approve of, is greater than ever has
· JOSIAH COUPLET.' been performed in any age; and the value of Lost, from the Cocoa-tree, in Pall-Mall, it I observe from your dissatisfaction: for battwo Irish dogs, belonging to the pack of Lon- tle-critics are like all others; you are the more don; one a tall white wolf-dog; the other a offended, the more you ought to be, and are black nimble greyhound, not very sound, and convinced you ought to be, pleased. Had this supposed to be gone to the Bath, by instinct, engagement bappened in the time of the old
The man of the inn from whence Romans, and such things been acted in eir they ran, being now there, is desired, if he service, there would not be a foot of the wood meets either of them, to tie them up. Several which was pierced but had been consecrated to others are lost about Tunbridge and Epsom; some deity, or made memorable by the death which whoever will maintain may keep.
of him who expired in it for the sake of his country. It had been said on some monument
at the entrance: Here the duke of Argyle No. (5.) Thursday, September 8, 1709.
drew his sword, and said March.' Here Quicquid agunt homines--
Webb, after having an accomplished fame for nostri est tarrago libelli. Jur. Sit. i. 85, 86.
gallantry, exposed himself like a common sol. Whatever good is done, whatever ill-
dier. Here Rivett, who was wounded at the By human kind, shall this collection till.
beginning of the day, and carried off as dead, Will's Coffee-house September 7. returned to the field, and received his death. I CAME hither this evening, and expected no. Medals had been struck for our general's bething else but mutual congratulations in the haviour when he first came into the plain. company, on the late victory; but found our Here was the fury of the action, and here the room, which one would have hoped to have hero stood as fearless as if invulnerable. Such seen fuil of good humour and alacrity upon so certainly bad been the cares of that state for glorious an occasion, full of sour animals, en their own bonour, and in gratirude to their quiring into the action, in doubt of what had heroic subjects. But the wood intrenched, the happened, and fearful of the success of their plain made more impassable than the wood, countrymen. It is natural to believe easily and all the difficulties opposed to the most what we wish heartily; and a certain rule, that gallant army and the most intrepid leaders they are vot friends to a glad occasion who that ever the sun shone upon, are treated by speak all they can against the truth of it; who the talk of some in this room as objections to end their argument against our happiness, that the merit of our general and our army: but,' i bey wish it otherwise. When I came into the continued be, ' I leave all the examination of room, a gentleman was declaiming : ' If,' says this matter, and a proper discourse on our lie, 'we have so great and complete a victory, sense of public actions, to my friend Mr. Bickerwhy have we not the names of the prisoners ? staff; who may let beaux and gamesters rest, Wby is not an exact relation of the conduct of l until he has examined into the reasons of men's
being malecontents, in the only nation that suf-doors. The valiant Pert followed, and kicked fers professed enemies to breathe in open air.' him in his turn; which the esquire resented, From my own Apart ment, September 7.
as being nearer his match; so challenged him: The following letters are sent to me from terposed, for he had still money left, and per
but differing about time and place, friends inrelations; and though I do not know who and suaded him to ask parden for provoking them who are intended, I publish them. I have only to beat him, and they asked his for doing it. writ nonsense, if there is nothing in them; and The house, consulting whence Humphry could done a good action, if they alarm any heedless have his information, concluded it must be men against the fraternity of the Knights, from some malicious commoner; and, to be whom the Greeks call Páoxans,
revenged, beau Bigg watched their haunts, and MR. BICKERSTAFF,
Bath, Aug. 30. in a shop where some of them were at play 'It is taken very ill by several gentlemen with ladies, showed dice which he found, or here, that you are so little vigilant, as to let pretended to find, upon them; and, declaring the dogs run from their kennels to this place. how false they were, warned the company to Had you done your duty, we should have had take care who they played with. By bis seemnutice of their arrival; but the sharpers are ling candour, be cleared his reputation, at least now become so formidable here, that they have to fools and some silly woinen ; but it was still divided themselves iuto nobles and commons; blasted by the esquire's story with thinking beau Bogg, beau Pert, Rake, and Tallboy, are men : however, he gained a great point by it ; of their upper house; broken captains, igno- for the next day he got the company shut up rant attornies, and such other bankrupts from with himself and fellow-members, and robbed industrious professions, compose their lower them at discretion. order. Among these two sets of men, there 'I cannot express to you with what indigna. bappened here lately some unhappy differences. tion I behold the noble spirit of gentlemen deEsquire Humphry came down among us with generated to that of private cut-purses. It is fuur hundred guineas : his raw appearance, and in vain to hope a remedy, while so many of certain signals in the good-natured muscles of the fraternity get and enjoy estates of twenty, Humphry's countenance, alarmed the societies; thirty, and fifty thousand pounds, with impufor sharpers are as skilful as beggars in physi- nity, creep into the best conversations, and ognomy, and know as well wbere to hope for spread the infectious villany through the na. plunder, as the others to ask for alms, Pert tion, while the lesser rogues, that rob for hun. was the man exactly fitted for taking with ger or nakedness, are sacrificed by the blind, Humphry, as a fine gentleman; for a raw fool and, in this respect, partial and defective law. is ever enamoured with his contrary, a cox- Could you open men's eyes against the occaconib; and a coxcomb is what the booby, who sion of all this, the great corrupter of our mailwants experience, and is unused to company, ners and morality, the author of more bankregards as the first of men. He ever looks rupts than the war, and sure bane of all inat him with envy, and would certainly be such, dustry, frugality, and good nature; in a word, if he were not oppressed by his rusticity or of all virtues; I mean, public or private play at bashfulness. There arose an entire friendship cards or dice; how willingly would I contriby this sympathy between Pert and Humphry, bute my utmost, and possibly send you some which ended in stripping the latter. We now memoirs of the lives and politics of some of the could see this forlorn youth for some days mo- fraternity of great figure, that might be of use 1!eyless, without sword, and one day without to you in setting this in a clear light against his hat, and with secret melancholy pining for next session; that all who care for their counhis snuff-bux; the jest of the whole town, but try or posterity, and see the pernicious effects most of those who robbed him.
of such a public vice, may endeavour its de* At last fresb bills came down, when imme-struction by some effectual laws. In concur. listely their countenances cleared up, ancient rence of this good design, I remain li: dnesses and familiarity renewed, and to din
Your humble servant, &c.' Ler he was invited by the fraternity. You are to know, that while lie was in his days of solitude, "MR. BICKERSTAFF, Friday, Sept. .. a commoner, who was excluded from his share I heartily join with you in your landable of the prey, had whispered the esquire, that he design against the Myrmidons, as well as your waz bit, and cautioned him of venturing again. late insinuations against Coxcombs of Fire; and However, bupes of recovering his snuff box, I take this opportunity to congratulate you on which was given hiin by his aunt, made him the success of your labours, which I observed fall to play after dinner ; yet, mindful of what yesterday in one of the hottest fire-men in he was told, he saw something that provoked town; who not only affects a soft smile, but bim to tell them, they were a company of was seen to be thrice contradicted without sharpers. Presently Tallboy fell on him, and, showing any signs of impatience. These, I being too hard at fisty.cuffi, drove him out of say, so happy beginnings, promise fair, and og
this account I rejoice you have undertaken to hardly possible for another to give a true idea unkennel the curs; a work of such use, that I of. You may observe in common talk, wben admire it so long escaped your vigilance ; and a sentence of any man's is repeated, an acexhort you, by the concern you bave for the quaintance of his shall immediately observe, good people of England, to pursue your de l' that is so like binn, methinks I see how be sign: and, that these vermin may not flatter looked when he said it.' themselves that they pass undiscovered, I de. But of all the people on the earth, there are sire you would acquaint Jack Haughty, that none who puzzle me so inuch as the clergy of the whole secret of his bubbling his friend with Great Britain, who are, I believe, the most the Swiss at the Thatched-house is well-known, learned body of men now in the world; and yet as also his sweetening the knight; and I shall this art of speaking, with the proper ornaacknowledge the favour.
ments of voice and gesture, is wbolly neglected Your most humble servant, &c.' among them; and I will engage, were a deaf
man to behold the greater part of them preach,
he would rather think they were reading the No. 66.] Suturday, September 10, 1709. contents only of some discourse they intended Quicquid agnnt hoinines
to make, than actually in the body of an ora. noslijest farragu libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86. tion, even when they are upon matters of such Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
a nature, ds one wond believe it were impossiOur motley paper seizes for its theine.
ble to think of without emotion.
I own there are exceptions to this general obWill's Coffee house, September 9,
servation, and that the dean we heard the other The subject of the discourse this evening day together, is an orator.* He has so much was eloquence and graceful action. Lysander, regard to his congregation, that he commits to who is something particular in his way of his memory what be bas to say to them ; and thinking and speaking, told us, ' a man could has so soft and graceful a behaviour, that it not be eloquent without action : for the de. must attract your attention. His person, it is portment of the body, the turn of the eye, and to be confessed, is no small recommendation ; an apt sound to every word that is uttered, but he is to be highly commended for not losing must all conspire to make an accomplished that advantage, and adding to the propriety of speaker. Action in one that speaks in public, speech, which might pass the criticism of Lonis the same thing as a good mien in ordinary ginus, an action which would have been aplife. Thus, as a certain insensibility iu the proved by Demosthenes. He has a peculiar countenance recommends a sentence of hu- force in his way, and has many of his audiencet mour and jest, so it must be a very lively con- who could not be intelligent hearers of bis dissciousness that gives grace to great sentiments. course, were there pot explanation as well as The jest is to be a thing unexpected; therefore grace in his action. This art of his is used your undesigning manner is a beauty in ex. with the most exact and honest skill : he never pressions of mirth; but when you are to talk attempts your passions until he has convinced on a set subject, the more you are moved your- your reason. All the objections which he can self, the more you will move others.
form, are laid open and dispersed before he There is,' said he, a remarkable example uses the least vehemence in his sermon; but of that kind. Æschines, a famous orator of when he tbiuks he has your head, he very soon antiquity, had pleaded at Athens in a great wins your heart ; and never pretends to show cause against Demosthenes; but having lost the beauty of holiness, until he hath convinced it, retired to Rhodes.' Eloquence was then you of the truth of it. the quality most admired among men; and the
Would every one of our clergymen be thus magistrates of that place, having heard he had careful to recommend truth and virtue in their a copy of the speech of Demosthenes, desired proper figures, and show so much concern for him to repeat both their pleadings. After his them as to give them all the additional force own, be recited also the oration of his anta- they were able, it is not possible that nonsense gonist. The people expressed their admiration should bave so many hearers as you find it has of both, but more of that of Demosthenes. “ If in dissenting congregations, for no reason in you are," said he, "thus touched with hearing the world, but because it is spoken extempore: only what that great orator said, how would for ordinary minds are wholly governed by their you bave been affected had you seen him speak? eyes and ears, and there is no way to come at For he who hears Demosthenes only, loses their hearts, but by power over their imaginamuch the better part of the oration," Certain tions. it is that they wbo speak gracefully are very There is my friend and merry companion samely represented in having their speeches read or repeated by unskilful people; for there
• Dr. Aterbury. is something native to each man, so inherent
† At the chapel of Bridewell Hospital, where he was to his thoughts and sentiments, which it is lewenty years minister and preacher.
Daniel.* He knows a great deal better than and is now just out of his time; but, unfortuhe speaks, and can form a proper discourse as nately (for he has no manner of education suitwell as any orthodox neighbour. But he knows able to his present estate) an uncle has left very well, that to bawl out ‘My beloved !' and him one thousand pounds per annum.' The the words 'grace !'' regeneration ! 'sanctifica- young man is sensible, that he is so spruce, tion !'' a new light!''the day! the day! ay, my that he fears he shall never be genteel as long beloved, the day! or rather i he night, the night as he lives ; but applies himself to me, to know is coming!' and 'judgment will come wben we what methods to take, to help his air, and be a least think of it!' and so forth.—He knows, to fine gentleman. be vehement, is the only way to come at bis He says, 'that several of those ladies who audience. Daniel, when he sees my friend were formerly his customers, visit his mother Greenbat come in, can give a good hint and on purpose to fall in his way, and fears he shall cry out, “This is only for the saints ! the re- be obliged to marry against his will; for,' says generated !' By this force of action, though he, “if any of them should ask me, I shall not mixed with all the incoherence and ribaldry be able to deny her. I am,' says he further, imaginable, Daniel can laugh at his diocesan,' utterly at a loss how to deal with them ; for and grow fat by voluntary subscription, while though I was the most pert creature in the the parson of the parish goes to law for half world when I was foreman, and could hand a his dues. Daniel will tell you, it is not the woman of the first quality to ber coach as well sbepherd, but the sheep with the bell, which as her own gentleman-usher, I am now quite the flock follows.'
out of my way and speechless in their comAnother thing, very wonderful this learned pany. They commend my modesty to my face. body should omit, is, learning to read ; which No one scruples to say, I should certainly make is a most necessary part of eloquence in one the best husband in the world, a man of my who is to serve at the altar: for there is no sober education. Mrs. Would-be watches all man but must be sensible, that the lazy tone, opportunities to be alone with me : therefore, and inarticulate sound of our common readers, good Mr. Bickerstaff, bere are my writings indepreciates the most proper form of words that closed; if you can find any flaw in my title, so were ever extant, in any nation or language, as it may go to the next heir, who goes to to speak our own wants, or his power from St. James's coffee-house, and White's, and whom we ask relief.
could enjoy it, I should be extremely well There cannot be a greater instance of the pleased with two thousand pounds to set up power of action, than in little parson Dapper, my trade, and live in a way I know I should who is the common relief to all the lazy pul- become, rather than be laughed at all my life pits in town. This smart youth bas a very among too good company. If you could send good memory, a quick eye, and a clean hand for my cousin, and persuade bim to take the kerchief. Thus equipped, he opens his text, estate on these terms, and let nobody know it, shuts his book fairly, shows he has no notes in you would extremely oblige me.' his bible, opens both palms, and shows all is Upon first sight, I thought this a very wbiinfair there too. Thus, with a decisive air, my sical proposal ; however, upon more mature young man goes on without hesitation ; and consideration, I could not but admire the young though from the beginning to the end of his gentleman's prudence and good sense ; for pretty discourse, be has not used one proper there is nothing so irksome as living in a way gesture; yet, at the conclusion, the church- a man knows he does not become. I consulted warden pulls his gloves from off bis hands ; Mr. Obadiah Greenhat* on this occasion, and
Pray, who is this extraordinary young man?' he is so well pleased with the man, that he Thus, the force of action is such, that it is has half a mind to take the estate bimself; but, more prevalent, even when improper, than all upon second thoughts, he proposed this expethe reason and argument in the world without dient: 'I should be very willing,' said be, 'to it. This gentleman concluded his discourse by keep the estate where it is, if we could make saying, 'I do not doubt but if our preachers the young man any way easy ; therefore, I would learn to speak, and our readers to read, humbly propose, he should take to drinking within six month's time, we should not have a for one half-year, and make a sloven of him, dissenter within a mile of a church in Great and from theuce begin his education a-new. Britain.'
for it is a maxim, that one who is ill-taught
is in a worse condition than he who is wholly From my own Apartment, September 9.
ignorant; therefore a spruce mercer is farther I have a letter from a young fellow, who off the air of a fine gentleman, than a downcomplains to me that 'he was bred a mercer, right clown. To make our patient any thing
better, we must unmake him what he is. I
indeed proposed to flux him; but Greenhat an• Dr. Daniel Burgess, who preached to a congregation of independents at the meeting-house in a court adjoining lo Carey-street, acar Lincolo's lox,
* Mr. Oba liah Greenhat means Addison.
swered, 'that if he recovered, he would be as 'SIR,
September 7. prim and feat as ever he was.' Therefore he There are another pack of dogs to be disposed would have it his way, and our friend is to drink of, who kennel about Charing-cross, at the until he is carbuncled and tun-bellied; alter Old Fat Dog's, at the corner of Buckinghamwhich, we will send him down to smoke and be court, near Spring-garden : two of them are buried with his ancestors in Derbyshire. I am, said to be whelped in Alsatia, * now in ruins; indeed, desirous he should have his life in the but they, with the rest of the pack, are as per. estate, because he has such a just sense of him- nicious as if the old kennel had never been self and his abilities, as to know that it is an broken down. The ancients distinguished this unhappiness to him to be a man of fortune. sort of curs by the name of Heredipetes, the
This youth seems to understand, that a gen. most pernicious of all biters, for seizing young tleman's life is that of all others the hardest heirs, especially when their estates are ento pass through with propriety of behaviour ; tailed; whom they reduce by one good bite to for though he has a support without art or la- such a condition, that they cannot ever after hour, yet bis manner of enjoying that circum- come to the use of their teeth, or get a smelling stance, is a thing to be considered; and you see, of a crust. You are desired to dispose of these among men who are honoured with the com- as soon as you can, that the breed may not inmon appellation of gentlemen, so many contra- crease; and your care in tying them up will dictions to that character, that it is the utmost be acknowledged by, sir, ill-fortune to bear it: for which reason, I am
Your humble servant, obliged to change the circumstances of several
PIILANTHROPOS.' about this town. Harry Lacker is so very ex
St. James's Coffee-house, September 9. act in his dress, that I shall give his estate to
We bave received letters from the duke of his younger brother, and make him a dancing. master. Nokes Lightfoot is so nimble, and Marlborough's camp, which bring us further values bimself so much upon it, that I have particulars of the great and glorious victory obthoughts of making him huntsman to a pack N. S. The number of the wounded and pri
tained over the enemy on the eleventh instant, of beagles, and giving his land to somebody that will stay upon it.
soners is much greater than was expected from Now I am upon the topic of becoming what
our first account. The day was doubtful until we enjoy, I forbid all persons who are not of after twelve of the clock; but the enemy made the first quality, or, who do not bear some im- / little resistance after their first line on the left portant office that requires so much distinction, began to give way. An exact narration of the to yo to Hyde-Park with six horses; for I can
whole affair is expected next post. The French not but esteem it the highest insolence. There have had two days allowed them to bury their fore, hereafter no man shall do it merely be dead, and carry off their wounded men, upon cause he is able, without any other pretension.
parole. Those regiments of Great Britain, But, what may serve all purposes quite as well, which suffered most, are ordered into garrison, it shall be allowed all such who think riches and fresh troops commanded to march into the chief distinction, to appear in the ring with the field. The states have also directed troops two horses only, and a rent-roll hanging out of to march out of the towns, to relieve those who each side of their coach. This is a thought of lost so many men in attacking the second enAJr. Greenbat's, who designs very soon to pub- trenchment of the French, in the plain between
Sart and Jansart. lish a sumptuary discourse upon the subject of equipage, wherein be will give us rules on that subject, and assign the proper duties and qua. No. 67.] Tuesday, September 13, 1709. lifications of masiers and servants, as well as that of husbands and wises ; with a treatise of
Quicqnid agunt homines
-nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 85, 66. economy without doors, or the complete art
Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dieam, of appearing in the world. This will be very
Oar motley paper seizes for its theme. useful to all who are suddenly rich, or are ashamed of being poor.
From my own Apartment, September 12.
No man can conceive, until he come to try -Sunt ccrta piacula, quæ te Ter purè lucto poterunt recreare libello.
it, how great a pain it is to be a public-spirited
Ilor. i. Ep. i. 36. person. I am sure I am unable to express to And, like a charm, to th' npright mind and pare,
the world what great anxiety I have suffered, I thrice real o'er, will yield a certain eare.
to see of how little benefit my lucubrations
have been to my fellow-subjects. Men will go I have notice of a new pack of dogs, of quite on in their own way, in spite of all my lahour. another sort than hitherto mentioned. I have I gave Mr. Didapper a private reprimand for not an exact account of their way of hunting, wearing red-heeled shoes, and at the same tinie the following letter giving only a bare notice of them :
# White Friars,