For sure such confusion was never yet known, Here a cap, there a hat, there a cardinal blown ; While his lordship embroidered and powdered all o'er,

Was bowing and handing the ladies ashore.

How the misses did huddle, and scuddle, and run!
One would think to be wet must be very good fun:
And 'twas pretty to see, how like birds of feather
The people of quality flock'd all together;
All pressing, addressing, caressing, and fond,
Just the same as young ducks are at play in a pond.
You've read all their names in the news, I suppose,
But, for fear you have not, take the list as it goes:
There was Lady Greasewrister,
And Madam Van-Twister,

On

Her ladyship's sister;

Lord Cram and Lord Vulture,

Sir Brandish O'Culter,

With Marshal Carouzer,

And old Lady Mouzer,

And the great Hanoverian Baron Pansmouzer; Besides many others, who all in the rain went, purpose to honour this great entertainment. The made a most brilliant appearance, company And ate bread and butter with great perseverance; All the chocolate, too, that my lord set before 'em, The ladies despatched with the utmost decorum. Soft musical numbers were heard all around, The horns and the clarions' echoing sound. Sweet were the strains, as odorous gales that blow

O'er fragrant banks, where pinks and roses

THE DEJEUNER.-ANSTEY (1724-1805).

[Christopher Anstey is known as the author of a light, satirical, and humorous poem, called the "New Bath Guide," in which he held up the follies, amusements, chit-chat, and scandal of the city of Bath, at that time the most fashionable watering-place in England. The following description is given by a young city lady, not too well-educated or highly bred.]

(Read this humorous description, in a light, sparkling, accented style.)

Now my lord had the honour of coming down post,
To pay his respects to so famous a toast;*
In hope he her ladyship's favour might win,
By playing the part of a host at an inn.
I'm sure he's a person of great resolution,
Tho' delicate nerves, and a weak constitution;
For he carried us all to a place 'cross the river,
And vowed that the rooms were too hot for his

liver;

He said it would greatly our pleasure promote, If we all for Spring Gardens set out in a boat: I never as yet could his reason explain

Why we all sallied forth in the wind and the rain,

*Toast; any lady was called a toast whose health was frequently drunk by gentlemen at their parties. This was called toasting her; because it was customary, in those days, to take a toast in wine. Thus, a lady whose name frequently accompanied wine-drinking, by her health being proposed, was called a "reigning toast." The word toast, now a days, is applied to a sentiment, given after dinner, for it is no longer the habit of gentlemen to couple the names of ladies whom they honour with their wine.

For sure such confusion was never yet known, Here a cap, there a hat, there a cardinal blown ; While his lordship embroidered and powdered all o'er,

Was bowing and handing the ladies ashore.

How the misses did huddle, and scuddle, and run!
One would think to be wet must be very good fun:
And 'twas pretty to see, how like birds of feather
The people of quality flock'd all together;
All pressing, addressing, caressing, and fond,
Just the same as young ducks are at play in a pond.
You've read all their names in the news, I suppose,
But, for fear you have not, take the list as it goes:
There was Lady Greasewrister,
And Madam Van-Twister,

Her ladyship's sister;

Lord Cram and Lord Vulture,

Sir Brandish O'Culter,
With Marshal Carouzer,

And old Lady Mouzer,

And the great Hanoverian Baron Pansmouzer;
Besides many others, who all in the rain went,
On purpose to honour this great entertainment.
The company made a most brilliant appearance,
And ate bread and butter with great perseverance;
All the chocolate, too, that my lord set before 'em,
The ladies despatched with the utmost decorum.
Soft musical numbers were heard all around,
The horns and the clarions' echoing sound.

Sweet were the strains, as odorous gales that blow

O'er fragrant banks, where pinks and roses

The peer was quite ravish'd, while close to his side Sat Lady Bunbutter in beautiful pride!

Oft turning his eyes, he with rapture surveyed All the powerful charms she so nobly displayed: As when at the feast of the brave Alexander, Timotheus the musical son of Musander,

Breathed notes to delight that victorious commander!

O! had I a voice that was stronger than steel, With twice fifty tongues to express what I feel, And as many good mouths, yet ne'er could I utter, All the speeches my lord made to Lady Bun

butter!

So polite all the time that he ne'er touch'd a bit, While she ate up his rolls and applauded his wit, For they tell me that men of true taste, when they treat,

Should talk a great deal, but they never should

eat;

And if that be the fashion, I never will give
Any grand entertainment, as long as I live;
For I'm of opinion, 'tis proper to cheer
The palate and stomach as well as the ear;
Nor me did the charming concerts of Abel
Regale like the breakfast I saw on the table;
I freely will own I the muffins preferred
To all the genteel conversation I heard,
E'en tho' I'd the honour of sitting between
My Lady Stuff-Damask and Peggy Moreen,
Who both flew to Bath in the nightly machine.*

* The night-coach from London.

Cries Peggy, "This place is enchantingly pretty;
We never can see such a thing in the city :
You may spend all your life time in Cateaton
Street,

And never so civil a gentleman meet;

You may talk what you please, you may search London through,

You may go to Carlisle's and to Almanack's too, And I'll give you my head if you find such a host, For coffee, tea, chocolate, butter and toast:

How he welcomes at once all the world and his

wife,

And how civil to folk he ne'er saw in his life."

So, when we had wasted more bread at a break

fast

Than the poor of our parish have ate for this week past,

I saw all at once, a prodigious great throng,
Come bustling and rustling and jostling along ;
For his lordship was pleased, that the company now
To my Lady Bunbutter should curtsey and bow;
And my lady was pleased, too, and seemed vastly
proud

At once to receive all the thanks of a crowd.
And when, like Chaldeans, we all had adored
This beautiful image set up by my lord,

Some few insignificant folk went away,

Just to follow the employments and calls of the

day;

But those who knew better their time how to

spend,