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Down the river did glide, with wind and with tide,
A pig with vast celerity ; And the Devil look'd wise as he saw how the while, Itcut its own throat. “There!" quoth he with a smile,
“ Goes England's commercial prosperity.”
As he went through Cold-Bath Fields he saw
A solitary cell ; And the Devil was pleased, for it gave him a hint
For improving his prisons in Hell.
He saw a Turnkey in a trice
Unfetter a troublesome blade;
suggestion, which I owe to a young retailer in the hosiery line, who on hearing a description of the net profits, dinner parties, country houses, &c. of the trade, exclaimed, " Ay! that's what I call Life now!”—This “ Life, our Death,” is thus happily contrasted with the fruits of authorship.—Sic nos non nobis mellificamus apes.
Of this poem, which with the Fire, Famine, and Slaughter, first appeared in the Morning Post, the 1st, 2d, 3d, 9th, and 16th stanzas were dictated by Mr. Southey. See Apulogetic Preface, vol. i. If any one should ask who General
meant, the Author begs leave to inform him, that he did once see a red-faced person in a dream whom by the dress he took for a General; but he might have been mistaken, and most certainly he did not hear any names mentioned. In simple verity, the author never meant any one, or indeed any thing but to put a concluding stanza to his doggerel.
He saw the same Turnkey unfetter a man
With but little expedition, Which put him in mind of the long debate
On the Slave-trade abolition.
He saw an old acquaintance
As he pass'd by a Methodist meeting ;She holds a consecrated key,
And the Devil nods her a greeting.
She turned up her nose, and said,
“ Avaunt ! my name's Religion," And she looked to Mr.
And leered like a love-sick pigeon.
The Devil quoted Genesis,
Like a very learned clerk,
into the Ark.”
He took from the poor,
And he gave to the rich,
And he shook hands with a Scotchman,
For he was not afraid of the
It was general conflagration.
THE TWO ROUND SPACES ON THE
See the apology for the “ Fire, Famine, and Slaughter,' in first volume. This is the first time the author ever published these lines. He would have been glad, had they perished; but they have now been printed repeatedly in magazines, and he is told that the verses will not perish. Here, therefore, they are owned, with a hope that they will be taken-as assuredly they were composed-in mere sport.
The Devil believes that the Lord will come,
On an old Christmas-day in a snowy blast : Till he bids the trump sound, neither body nor soul stirs,
[bolsters. For the dead men's heads have slipt under their
Oh! ho! brother Bard, in our church-yard,
Both beds and bolsters are soft and green;
And under it lies a Counsellor keen. 'Twould be a square tomb, if it were not too long, And 'tis fenced round with irons sharp, spearlike,
This fellow from Aberdeen hither did skip,
This Counsellor sweet,
This Scotchman complete, (The Devil scotch him for a snake) I trust he lies in his grave awake.
On the sixth of January,
Brother Bard, ho! ho !
Believe it, or no,
Two round spaces void of snow.
In the house of privity
Of that ancient family. On those two places void of snow, There have sate in the night for an hour or so, Before sunrise, and after cock-crow,
He kicking his heels, she cursing her corns,
The Devil, and his Grannam,
w-blast to fan 'em;
TO A COMIC AUTHOR, ON AN ABUSIVE REVIEW.
What though the chilly wide-mouth'd quacking
.chorus From the rank swamps of murk Review-land So was it, neighbour, in the times before us, When Momus, throwing on his Attic cloak, Romped with the Graces; and each tickled Muse (That Turk, Dan Phoebus, whom bards call divine, Was married to—at least, he kept—all nine) Fled, but still with reverted faces ran; Yet, somewhat the broad freedoms to excuse, They had allur’d the audacious Greek to use, Swore they mistook him for their own good man. This Momus-Aristophanes on earth Men called him-maugre all his wit and worth Was croaked and gabbled at. How, then, should
you, Or I, friend, hope to 'scape the skulking crew ? No! laugh, and say aloud, in tones of glee, “I hate the quacking tribe, and they hate me!"