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who had not had the effect of some of the queen's Lord St. Albans, wishing him a good Easter. My grants so soon as he had hoped and desired, lord thanked the messenger, and said, “ He could paused a little; and then made answer, “ Madam, not at present requite the count better than in rehe thinks of a woman's promise.” The queen turning him the like; that he wished his lordship shrunk in her head; but was heard to say, “Well, a good passover.” Sir Edward, I must not confute you.” Anger 13. My Lord Chancellor Elsmere, when he makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor. had read a petition which he disliked, would say,

6. When any great officer, ecclesiastical or “ What, you would have my hand to this now ?" civil, was to be made, the queen would inquire And the party answering, “ Yes;" he would say after the piety, integrity, learning of the man. further, “Well, so you shall : nay, you shall And when she was satisfied in these qualifica- have both my hands to it." And so would, with tions, she would consider of his personage. And both his hands, tear it in pieces. upon such an occasion she pleased once to say to 14. I knew a wise man,* that had it for a by. me, - Bacon, how can the magistrate maintain word, when he saw men hasten to a conclusion, his authority when the man is despised ?" “Stay a little that we may make an end the

7. In eighty-eight, when the queen went from sooner." Temple-bar along Fleet-street, the lawyers were 15. Sir Francis Bacon was wont to say of an ranked on one side, and the companies of the angry man who suppressed his passion, « That city on the other; said Master Bacon to a lawyer he thought worse than he spake;" and of an angry that stood next him, “Do but observe the courtiers; man that would chide, “ That he spoke worse if they bow first to the citizens, they are in debt; than he thought." if first to us, they are in law.”

16. He was wont also to say, “ That power in 8. King James was wont to be very earnest an ill man was like the power of a black witch; with the country gentlemen to go from London he could do hurt but no good with it." And he to their country houses. And sometimes he would add, “ That the magicians could turn water would say thus to them, “ Gentlemen, at London into blood, but could not turn the blood again to you are like ships in a sea, which show like no- water." thing; but in your country villages you are like 17. When Mr. Attorney Cook, in the exchequer, ships in a river, which look like great things.” gave high words to Sir Francis Bacon, and stood

9. Soon after the death of a great officer, who much upon his higher place : Sir Francis said to was judged no advancer of the king's matters, the him, “ Mr. Attorney, the less you speak of your king said to his solicitor Bacon, who was his own greatness, the more I shall think of it; and kinsman, “ Now tell me truly, what say you of the more, the less.” your cousin that is gone?" Mr. Bacon answer- 18. Sir Francis Bacon, coming into the Earl of ed, “ Sir, since your majesty doth charge me, I'll Arundel's garden, where there were a great nume'en deal plainly with you, and give you such a ber of ancient statues of naked men and women, character of him, as if I were to write his story. made a stand, and, as astonished, cried out, “The I do think he was no fit counsellor to make your resurrection." affairs better : but yet he was fit to have kept 19. Sir Francis Bacon, who was always for them from growing worse." The king said, moderate counsels, when one was speaking of 5On my so'l, man, in the first thou speakest like such a reformation of the Church of England, as a true man, and in the latter like a kinsman." would in effect make it no church ; said thus to

10. King James, as he was a prince of great him, “ Sir, the subject we talk of is the eye of judgment, so he was a prince of marvellous plea- England ; and if there be a speck or two in the sant humour; and there now come into my mind eye, we endeavour to take them off, but he two instances of it. As he was going through were a strange oculist who would pull out the Lusen, by Greenwich, he asked what town it eye." was? They said, Lusen. He asked a good 20. The same Sir Francis Bacon was wont to while after, - What town is this we are now in?" say; “ That those who left useful studies for They said still, 'twas Lusen. “On my so'l,” said useless scholastic speculations, were like the the king, “I will be king of Lusen."

Olympic gamesters, who abstained from necessary 11. In some other of his progresses, he asked labours, that they might be fit for such as were how far it was to a town whose name I have for- not so." gotten. They said, “ Six miles.” Half an hour 21. He likewise often used this comparison :f after, he asked again. One said, “Six miles and “ The empirical philosophers are like to pisan half.” The king alighted out of his coach, mires; they only lay up and use their store. The and crept under the shoulder of his led horse. rationalists are like to spiders; they spin all out And when some asked his majesty what he meant ? of their own bowels. But give me a płilosopher, 6. I must stalk,” said he, “for yonder town is

* See this also in his Essay of Despatch. shy, and flies me."

+ See the substance of this in Nov. Org. ed. Lugd. Bat. 12. Count Gondomar sent a compliment to my lp, 105, and Inter Cogitata et Visa, p. 53.





who, like the bee, hath a middle faculty, gather-| be lifted up, the inferior parts of the body must ing from abroad, but digesting that which is too." gathered by his own virtue.”

25. The Lord Bacon was wont to commend the 22. The Lord St. Alban, who was not over advice of the plain old man at Buxton, that sold hasty to raise theories, but proceeded slowly by becoms : a proud lazy young fellow came to him experiments, was wont to say to some philoso- for a besom upon trust; to whom the old man phers, who would not go his pace, “ Gentlemen, said, “Friend, hast thou no money? borrow of nature is a labyrinth, in which the very haste you thy back, and borrow of thy belly, they'll ne'er move with will make you lose your way." ask thee again, I shall be dunning thee every day.”

23. The same lord, when he spoke of the Dutch- 26. Solon* said well to Crasus, (when in osmen, used to say, " That we could not abandon tentation he showed him his gold,) - Sir, if any them for our safety, nor keep them for our profit.” other come that has better iron than you, he will And sometimes he would express the same sense be master of all this gold.” on this manner; 66 We hold the Belgic lion by 27. Jack Weeks said of a great man, just then the ears."

dead, who pretended to some religion, but was 24. The same lord, when a gentleman seemed none of the best livers, “ Well, I hope he is in not much to approve of his liberality to his retinue, heaven. Every man thinks as he wishes; but if said to him, “ Sir, I am all of a piece ; if the head | he be in heaven, 'twere pity it were known.”


your breath.”

1. His majesty James the First, King of Great¡ justice; one while they were a Star Chamber, Britain, having made unto his Parliament an another while a King's Bench, another a common excellent and large declaration, concluded thus, place, another a Commission of Oyer and Ter“ I have now given you a clear mirror of my miner.” His majesty answered, “Why, Sir mind; use it therefore like a mirror; and take Edward Cook, they be like houses in progress, heed how you let it fall, or how you soil it with where I have not nor can have such distinct

rooms of state as I have here at Whitehall or at 2. His majesty said to his Parliament at another Hampton Court.” time, finding there were some causeless jealousies 6. The commissioners of the treasure moved sown amongst them; “That the king and his the king for the relief of his estate, to disafforest people, (whereof the Parliament is the represen- some forests of his, explaining themselves of tative body,) were as husband and wife; and such forests as lay out of the way, not near any therefore, that of all other things, jealousy was of the king's houses, nor in the course of his probetween them most pernicious.”

gress, whereof he should never have use nor plea3. His majesty, when he thought his council sure. “ Why," saith the king, “ do you think might note in him some variety in businesses, that Solomon had use and pleasure of all his three though indeed he remained constant, would say, hundred concubines.” 6. That the sun many times shineth watery; but 7. His majesty, when the Committees of both it is not the sun which causeth it, but some cloud Houses of Parliament presented unto him the rising betwixt us and the sun; and when that is instrument of Union of England and Scotland, scattered the sun is as it was, and comes to his was merry with them; and amongst other pleasant former brightness.”

speeches showed unto them the Laird of Law4. His majesty, in his answer to the book of riston, a Scotchman, who was the tallest and the Cardinal of Evereux, (who had in a grave greatest man that was to be seen, and said, argument of divinity sprinkled many witty orna- Well, now we are all one, yet none of you will ments of poesy and humanity,) saith; "That say but here is one Scotchman greater than any these flowers were like blue and yellow, and red | Englishman;" which was an ambiguous speech; flowers in the corn, which make a pleasant show but it was thought he meant it of himself. to those that look on, but they hurt the corn." 8. His majesty would say to the Lords of his

5. Sir Edward Cook, being vehement against Council, when they sat upon any great matter, the two provincial councils of Wales and the and came from council in to him, “Well, you North, said to the king, There was nothing have set, but what have you hatcht!" there but a kind of confusion and hotch potch of * See this in his Essay of the True Greatness of Kingdoms


9. Queen Elizabeth was importuned much by | have put a trick upon the countryman, which was my Lord of Essex to supply divers great offices thus: the scholars appointed for supper two that had been long void; the queen answered pigeons and a fat capon, which being ready was nothing to the matter, but rose up on the sudden, brought up, and they having sat down, the one and said, “I am sure my office will not be long scholar took up one pigeon, the other scholar took void.” And yet at that time there was much the other pigeon, thinking thereby that the counspeech of troubles and divisions about the crown tryman should have sat still until that they were to be after her decease: but they all vanished, and ready for the carving of the capon, which he perKing James came in in a profound peace. ceiving, took the capon and laid it on his trencher,

10. King Henry the Fourth of France was so and thus said, “ Daintily contrived, every one a punctual of his word after it was once passed, bird." that they called him the King of the Faith. 17. A man and his wife in bed together, she

11. The said King Henry the Fourth was towards morning pretended herself to be ill at moved by his Parliament to a war against the ease, desiring to lie on her husband's side; so the Protestants: he answered, “Yes, I mean it; I good man to please her came over her, making will make every one of you captains; you shall some short stay in his passage over, where she have companies assigned you.” The Parliament had not long lain, but desired to lie in her old observing whereunto his speech tended, gave place again. Quoth he, “ How can it be effected ?" over, and deserted his motion.

She answered, “Come over me again.” “I had 12. A great officer at court, when my Lord of rather,” said he, “go a mile and a half about.” Essex was first in trouble, and that he and those 18. A thief being arraigned at the bar for stealthat dealt for him would talk much of my lord's ing a mare, in his pleading urged many things in friends and of his enemies, answered to one of his own behalf, and at last nothing availing, he them, “ I will tell you, I know but one friend and told the bench the mare rather stole him than he one enemy my lord hath; and that one friend is the mare, which in brief he thus related : that the queen, and that one enemy is himself.” passing over several grounds about his lawful

13. The Lord Keeper, Sir Nicholas Bacon, occasions, he was pursued close by a fierce maswas asked his opinion by my Lord of Leicester, tiff dog, and so was forced to save himself by concerning two persons whom the queen seemed leaping over a hedge, which being of an agile to think well of: “ By my troth, my lord,” said body he effected, and in leaping, a mare standing he, “ the one is a grave counsellor, the other is a on the other side of the hedge, leaped upon her proper young man; and so he will be as long as back, who running furiously away with him, he he lives."

could not by any means stop her until he came 14. My Lord of Liecester, favourite to Queen to the next town, in which town the owner of the Elizabeth, was making a large chase about Corn- mare lived, and there was he taken and here arbury Park, meaning to enclose it with posts and raigned. rails, and one day was casting up his charge what 19. A notorious rogue being brought to the bar, it would come to; Mr. Goldingham, a free-spoken and knowing his case to be desperate, instead of man, stood by, and said to my lord; “ Methinks pleading, he took to himself the liberty of jesting, your lordship goeth not the cheapest way to work.” and thus said, “I charge you in the king's name “Why, Goldingham ?" said my lord. “Marry, to seize and take away that man (meaning the my lord,” said Goldingham,"count you but upon judge) in the red gown, for I go in danger of my the posts, for the country will find you railing.” life because of him."

15. Sir Nicholas Bacon being appointed a judge 20. A rough-hewn seaman being brought before for the northern circuit, and having brought his a wise just-ass for some misdemeanour, was by trials that came before him to such a pass, as the him sent away to prison: and being somewhat passing of sentence on malefactors, he was by refractory after he heard his doom, insomuch as one of the malefactors mightily importuned for to he would not stir a foot from the place he stood, save his life, which when nothing that he had saying, “ It were better to stand where he was said did avail, he at length desired his mercy on than go to a worse place.” The justice thereupon, the account of kindred. “Pr’ythee,” said my to show the strength of his learning, took him by lord judge, “how came that in ?" Why, if it the shoulder, and said, “ Thou shalt go · Nogus please you, my lord, your name is Bacon and vogus,' "' instead of 6 Nolens volens." mine is Hog, and in all ages hog and bacon have 21. A debauched seaman being brought before been so near kindred that they are not to be sepa- a justice of the peace upon the account of swearrated.” “Ay, but," replied Judge Bacon, "you ing, was by the justice commanded to deposit and I cannot be kindred except you be hanged; his fine in that behalf provided, which was two for hog is not bacon until it be well hanged." shillings, he thereupon, plucking out of his pocket

16. Two scholars and a countryman travelling a half-crown, asked the justice what was the rate upon the road, one night lodged all in one inn and he was to pay for cursing ; the justice told him supped together, where the scholars thought to sixpence ; quoth he, then, “ A pox take you all for


a company of knaves and fools, and there's half-sir," said the apprentice, “but if Joseph's misa-crown for you, I will never stand changing of tress had been as handsome as mine is, he could money."

not have forborne.” 22. A witty rogue coming into a lace shop, 25. When my Lord President of the Council said he had occasion for some lace, choice whereof was newly advanced to the Great Seal, Gondomar being showed him, he at last pitched upon one came to visit him; my lord said, “That he was pattern, and asked them how much they would to thank God and the king for that honour; but have for so much as would reach from ear to ear, yet, so he might be rid of the burden, he could for so much he had occasion for; they told him very willingly forbear the honour. And that he for so much : so some few words passing between formerly had a desire, and the same continued them, he at last agreed, and told down his money with him still, to lead a private life.” Gondomar for it, and began to measure on his own head, answered that he would tell him a tale, « Of an .thus saying, “ One ear is here, and the other is old rat that would needs leave the world: and nailed to the pillory in Bristol, and I fear you acquainted the young rats that he would retire have not so much of this lace by you at present into his hole, and spend his days solitarily; and as will perfect my bargain; therefore this piece would enjoy no more comfort: and commanded of lace shall suffice at present in part of payment, them, upon his high displeasure, not to offer to and provide the rest with all expedition.” come in unto him. They forbore two or three

23. A woman being suspected by her husband days; at last, one that was more hardy than the for dishonesty, and being by him at last pressed rest, incited some of his fellows to go in with very hard about it, made him quick answer with him, and he would venture to see how his father many protestations, “ That she knew no more of did; for he might be dead. They went in, and what he said than the man in the moon :" Now found the old rat sitting in the midst of a rich the captain of the ship called " The Moon” was Parmesan cheese.” So he applied the fable after the very man she so much loved.

his witty manner. 24. An apprentice of London being brought 26. Mr. Houland, in conference with a young before the chamberlain by his master, for the sin student, arguing a case, happened to say, “I of incontinency, even with his own mistress; the would ask you but this question.” The student chamberlain thereupon gave him many Christian presently interrupted him to give him an answer. exhortations, and at last he mentioned and pressed Whereunto Mr. Houland gravely said ; “Nay, the chastity of Joseph when his mistress tempted though I ask you a question, yet I did not mean him with the like crime of incontinency. “Ay, you should answer me, I mean to answer myself.”










1. “ ALEATOR, quanto in arte est melior, tanto

est nequior." A gamester, the greater master he is in his

art, the worse man he is. 2. “Arcum, intensio frangit; animum, remissio.” Much bending breaks the bow; much unbending, the mind.

3. “Bis vincit, qui se vincit in victoria.”
He conquers twice, who upon victory over-

comes himself.
4. “Cum vitia prosint, peccat, qui recte facit.”
If vices were upon the whole matter profit-

able, the virtuous man would be the sinner. 5. “Bene dormit, qui non sentit quod male dor

* Tenison's Baconiana, page 60.


quum ?


He sleeps well, who feels not that he sleeps | 22. In vindicando, criminosa est celeritas." ill.

In taking revenge, the very haste we make is 6. “ Deliberare utilia, mora est tutissima."

criminal. To deliberate about useful things is the safest 23. “In calamitoso risus etiam injuria est." delay.

When men are in calamity, if we do but laugh 7. “Dolor decrescit, ubi quo crescat non ha

we offend. bet."

24. “Improbe Neptunum accusat, qui iterum nauThe flood of grief decreaseth, when it can fragium facit.” swell no higher.

He accuseth Neptune unjustly, who makes 8. “Etiam innocentes cogit mentiri dolor."

shipwreck a second time. Pain makes even the innocent man a liar. 25. “Multis minatur, qui uni facit injuriam." 9. “ Etiam celeritas in desiderio, mora est."

He that injures one, threatens an hundred. Even in desire, swiftness itself is delay. 26. “ Mora omnis ingrata est, sed facit sapien10. “ Etiam capillus unus habet umbram suam." tiam." The smallest hair casts a shadow.

All delay is ungrateful, but we are not wise 11. “Fidem qui perdit, quo se servat in reli- without it.

27. “ Mori est felicis antequam mortem invocet." He that has lost his faith, what has he left to Happy he who dies ere he calls for death to live on?

take him away. 12. “ Formosa facies muta commendatio est." 28. “ Malus ubi bonum se simulat, tunc est pesA beautiful face is a silent commendation.

simus." 13. “ Fortuna nimium quem fovet, stultum facit." An ill man is always ill; but he is then worst Fortune makes him a fool, whom she makes of all when he pretends to be a saint. her darling.

29. “ Magno cum periculo custoditur, quod mul. 14. “ Fortuna obesse nulli contenta est semel."

tis placet.” Fortune is not content to do a man but one ill Lock and key will scarce keep that secure, turn.

which pleases everybody. 15. “ Facit gratum fortuna, quam nemo videt." 30. “ Male vivunt qui se semper victuros putant." The fortune which nobody sees, makes a man They think ill, who think of living always. happy and unenvied.

31. “ Male secum agit æger, medicum qui hære16. “ Heu! quam miserum est ab illo lædi, de quo

dem facit." non possis queri."

That sick man does ill for himself, who makes 0! what a miserable thing it is to be hurt by his physician his heir.

such a one of whom it is in vain to com- 32. “ Multos timere debet, quem multi timent." plain.

He of whom many are afraid, ought himself 17. “ Homo toties moritur quoties amittit suos.” to fear

many. A man dies as often as he loses his friends. 33. “ Nulla tam bona est fortuna, de qua nil possis 18. “ Hæredis fletus sub persona risus est."

queri." The tears of an heir are laughter under a vi- There is no fortune so good but it bates an

zard. 19. “ Jucundum nihil est, nisi quod reficit va- 34. “ Pars beneficii est, quod petitur si bene rietas."

neges." Nothing is pleasant, to which variety does not It is part of the gift, if you deny genteely give a relish.

what is asked of you. 20. “ Invidiam ferre, aut fortis, aut felix potest.” 35. “ Timidus vocat se cautem, parcum sordiHe may bear envy, who is either courageous dus.” or happy.

The coward calls himself a wary man; and 21. “ In malis sperare bonum, nisi innocens, nemo the miser says he is frugal. potest.

36. “O vita! misero longa, felici brevis." None but a virtuous man can hope well in ill O life! an age to him that is in misery; and circumstances.

to him that is happy, a moment.

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