"Who tried the long, Long W-LL-SLY suit, "Which tried one's patience, in return? "Not thou, oh Hat!-though, could'st thou do't, "Of other brims1 than thine thou'dst learn. "Twas mine our master's toil to share; "When, like "Truepenny,' in the play, "He, every minute, cried out 'Swear,' "And merrily to swear went they ;3 "When, loath poor W-LL-SL-Y to condemn, he "With nice discrimination weigh'd, "Whether 'twas only 'Hell and Jemmy,' "Or 'Hell and Tommy' that he play'd. "No, no, my worthy beaver, no "Though cheapen'd at the cheapest hatter's, "And smart enough, as beavers go, "Thou ne'er wert made for public matters." Here Wig concluded his oration, Looking, as wigs do, wondrous wise; While thus, full cock'd for declamation, The veteran Hat enraged replies: "Ha! dost thou then so soon forget "What thou, what England owes to me? "Ungrateful Wig!-when will a debt, "So deep, so vast, be owed to thee? "Think of that night, that fearful night, "When, through the steaming vault below, "Our master dared, in gout's despite, "To venture his podagric toe! "Who was it then, thou boaster, say, "When thou hadst to thy box sneak'd off, "Beneath his feet protecting lay, "And saved him from a mortal cough? "Think, if Catarrh had quench'd that sun, "How blank this world had been to thee! "Without that head to shine upon, "Oh Wig, where'would thy glory be? You, too, ye Britons,-had this hope "Of Church and state been ravish'd from ye, "Oh think, how Canning and the Pope "Would then have play'd up 'Hell and Tommy!' "HURRA! hurra!" I heard them say, And they cheer'd and shouted all the way, The Salmagundians once were rich, From their Periwinkles larger grew; 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 and 10, Such various ways, behind, before, And proved themselves most wealthy men! So, on they went, a prosperous crew, The people wise, the rulers cleverAnd God help those, like me and you, Who dared to doubt (as some now do) That the Periwinkle Revenue Would thus go flourishing on forever. 1 “Brim—a naughty woman."-GROSE. "Ghost [beneath].-Swear! "Hamlet-ha, ha! say'st thou so? Art thou there, Truepenny? Come on." • His Lordship's demand for fresh affidavits was incessant. Accented as in Swift's line "Not so a nation's revenues are paid." "Hurra! hurra!" I heard them say, But folks at length began to doubt And lost by Locusts ten times more! Of all the beasts that ever were born, To fatten him takes the devil and all! NEW CREATION OF PEERS. BATCH THE FIRST. "His 'prentice han' He tried on man, And then he made the lasses." 1827. "AND now," quoth the Minister, (eased of his panics, And ripe for each pastime the summer affords,) "Having had our full swing at destroying mechanics, "By way of set-off, let us make a few Lords. ""I is pleasant-while nothing but mercantile fractures, "Some simple, some compound, is dinn'd in our ears "To think that, though robb'd of all coarse manu factures, "We still have our fine manufacture of Peers ; "Those Gobelin productions, which Kings take a pride "In engrossing the whole fabrication and trade of; "Choice tapestry things, very grand on one side, "But showing, on t'other, what rags they are made of." The plan being fix'd, raw material was sought,— No matter how middling, if Tory the creed be; And first, to begin with, Squire W'twas thought, For a Lord was as raw a material as need be. Next came, with his penchant for painting and pelf, The tasteful Sir Charles, so renown'd, far and near, For purchasing pictures, and selling himself- Beside him Sir John comes, with equal éclat, in ;Stand forth, chosen pair, while for titles we measure ye; Both connoisseur baronets, both fond of drawing, Sir John, after nature, Sir Charles, on the Treasury. But, bless us!-behold a new candidate come- He poiseth a pill-box 'twixt finger and thumb, "Forbid it," cried Jenky, "ye Viscounts, ye Earls! "Oh Rank, how thy glories would fall disenchanted, "If coronets glisten'd with pills 'stead of pearls, "And the strawberry-leaves were by rhubarb supplanted! "No-ask it not, ask it not, dear Doctor H-f-rd "If naught but a Peerage can gladden thy life, "And young Master H-lf-rd as yet is too small for't, "Sweet Doctor, we'll make a she Peer of thy wife. "Next to bearing a coronet on our own brows, "Is to bask in its light from the brows of another; 1 Created Lord F-rnb-gh. "And grandeur o'er thee shall reflect from thy That he mayn't, with its stick, come about all your spouse, "As o'er V-y F-tz-d 'twill shine through his mother." ears, And then-where would your Protestant periwigs be? Thus ended the First Batch-and Jenky, much No, heaven be my judge, were I dying to-day, tired, (It being no joke to make Lords by the heap,) Ere I dropp'd in the grave, ike a medlar that's mellow, Took a large dram of ether-the same that inspired" For God's sake”- -at that awful moment I'd say— His speech 'gainst the Papists-and prosed off to sleep. SPEECH ON THE UMBRELLA' QUES TION. For God's sake, don't give Mr. Bell his umbrella." ["This address," says a ministerial journal, "delivered with amazing emphasis and earnestness, occasioned an extraordinary sensation in the House. Nothing since the memorable address of the Duke York has produced so remarkable an impression."] 1 Among the persons mentioned as likely to be raised to refused to restore it to him; and the above speech, which the Peerage, are the mother of Mr. V-y F-tz—d, &c. 2 A case which interested the public very much at this period. A gentleman, of the name of Bell, having left his unbrella behind him in the House of Lords, the doorkeepers (standing, no doubt, on the privileges of that noble body) may be considered as a pendant to that of the Learned Earl As you've no umbrellas." To Swanage that neat little town, in whose bay Lord Bags took his annual trip t'other day, WO! WO! Wo, wo unto him who would check or disturb it- Oh F-rnh-m, Saint F-rnh-m, how much do we owe thee! How form'd to all tastes are thy various employs! To taste the sea breezes, and chat with the dip- The old, as a catcher of Catholics, know thee, pers. 1 A small bathing-place on the coast of Dorsetshire, long > favorite summer resort of the ex-nobleman in question, and, till this season, much frequented also by gentlemen of the church. The Lord Chancellor Eld-n. The young, as an amateur scourger of boys. s Suggested by a speech of the Bishop of Ch-st-r on the subject of the New Reformation in Ireland, in which his Lordship denounced "Wo! Wo! Wo!" pretty abundantly on all those who dared to interfere with its progress. |