THE following trifles, having enjoyed, in their circulation through the newspapers, all the celebrity and length of life to which they were entitled, would have been suffered to pass quietly into oblivion without pretending to any further distinction, had they not already been published, in a collective form, both in London and Paris, and, in each case, been mixed up with a number of other productions, to which, whatever may be their merit, the author of the following pages has no claim. A natural desire to separate his own property, worthless as it is, from that of others, is, he begs to say, the chief motive of the publication of this volume. What the devil has become of this Treasury wonder? It has Pitt's name on't, All brass, in the front, "Now what, we ask, is become of this Sinking Fund— these eight millions of surplus above expenditure, which were to reduce the interest of the national debt by the amount of four hundred thousand pounds annually? Where, And R-b-ns-n's, scrawl'd with a goose-quill, indeed, is the Sinking Fund itself?"-The Times. under. In speeches, in books, in all shapes they attack us- A sort of "breakfast-powder," composed of roasted orn was about this time introduced by Mr. Hunt, is a subenma for coffee. There's B―nth-m, whose English is all his own And, as for myself, who've, iike Hannibal, sworn In short, my dear Goddess, Old England's divided To hate the whole crew who would take our Had England but One to stand by thee, Dear Corn, A HYMN OF WELCOME AFTER THE "Animas sapientiores fieri quiescendo." AND now-cross-buns and pancakes o'er- Thou'lt find in my Speech, if thou'lt read a few Having (God grant it!) pass'd away, pages. For therein I've proved, to my own satisfaction,* And that of all 'Squires I've the honor of meeting, Collective Wisdom, shine again! Come, Ayes and Noes, through thick and thin,— That 'tis the most senseless and foul-mouth'd de- Come, voters of Supplies-bestowers To say that poor people are fond of cheap eating. On the contrary, such the "chaste notions" of food That would make thee, dear Goddess, less dear And, oh! for Monopoly what a blest day, Of jackets upon trumpet-blowers, Come-free, at length, from Joint-Stock cares- Whose dreams of premium knew no boundary; When the Land and the Silk shall, in fond com- Come, matchless country-gentlemen; bination, (Like Sulky and Silky, that pair in the play,') Cry out, with one voice, for High Rents and Long life to the Minister!—no matter who, Come, wise Sir Thomas-wisest then, When creeds and corn-laws are debated; And show how wholly into bread Or how dull he may be, if, with dignified spirit, Come, L-derd-e, and tell the world, he Keeps the ports shut-and the people's mouths, too, That surely as thy scratch is curl'd, As never scratch was curl'd before- We shall all have a long run of Freddy's pros- And working-people, spoil'd by food, perity. The less they eat, will work the more. 1 The venerable Jeremy's phrase for his after-dinner walk. Cyclopædia assures us, has a particular liking for every 2 A phrase in one of Sir T-m-s's last speeches. 3 Great efforts were, at that time, making for the exclusion of foreign silk. 4" Road to Ruin." s This is meant not so much for a pun, as in allusion to the natural history of the Unicorn, which is supposed to be something between the Bos and the Asinus, and, as Rees's thing "chaste." 6 An item of expense which Mr. Hume in vain endeavored to get rid of:-trumpeters, it appears, like the men of All-Souls, must be "bene vestiti." 7 The gentleman, lately before the public, who kept his Joint-Stock Tea Company all to himself, singing "Te solo adoro." |