'Doctor, it is about time to tuck me in my little bed,' so I guess from that he was about going to sleep." When Steward Crump approached the bedside one morning, the President asked, "Well, Billy, how is your able assistant this morning?" "Whom do you mean, Mr. President?" asked Billy. "Why, I mean the cow, Billy," he said, pleasantly. When he had sipped the milk, he said, "Billy, she ought to have a di ploma, or a medal." "Mr. President," 8. WITH A VIEW TO A FURTHER REALIZATION OF LIBERTY, THROUGH THE MEDIUM OF THE DEFECTIVE HALTER, JANUARY STARTETH FOR HOME. ORLANDO FOLLOWETH. getting mad with me, Swaim; you know sick people must be indulged." To this General Swaim said, "I will get mad if you don't stop talking now. You must keep quiet. If you don't, I won't take care of you, and won't let anybody else do it." Again the President laughed at his old friend's wellmeant bluntness, and, grasping his arm, said, with a twinkle in his eye, "I'll make a treaty with you. If you will keep my mouth filled with ice, I will keep quiet." "It's a bargain," responded Swaim, as said Billy, "she already has a national repu- | he proceeded to carry out his terms of the tation." An evening or two before, General Swaim (who, with Colonels Rockwell and Corbin, is the only gentleman regularly admitted to the chamber of the President, they being in fact his male nurses) was sitting by the bedside fanning him and remonstrating about his talking to his attendant, against the orders of his physicians. His remonstrance failing to have the desired effect, General Swaim said, "I don't want to talk to you, and won't listen to you. Why don't you keep quiet?" The President laughed at this outburst of his old friend, and said, "What's the use in you treaty. 10. "He's Swum!" IN Mr. Moncure D. Conway's reminiscences of Carlyle, recently published by Harper and Brothers, are many quaint and amusing sayings. We select two with which to close the Drawer: fine physique and iron constitution, said: "He | so vivid to me as when he told that incialways took pride in appearing in fine form; dent. It is in my mind the standard portrait always took plenty of exercise, and the hardy of him." life of his youth gave him a good deal of strength. Curiously enough, he indulged in a little athletic tilt a little while before he was shot. Harry ran into the room where his father was dressing, and made a hand-spring over the bed. When he landed on his feet, he called out, 'Don't you wish you could do that, father?' 'Why, Harry,' replied the President, 'I guess I can'; and after a little bantering talk, he ran toward the bed, and cleared it as easily as Harry had done." "On one occasion a reverend gentleman had been favoring the congregation of Mr. Car THE FIRST BABY. 3. "I must be spry; there's dinner to cook." around with enmities to anybody. There was one man who treated me so outrageously that I thought my self-respect would compel me never to speak to him again. Accordingly, when I was passing down Street a week ago, and he turned the corner I was approaching, and came up the same sidewalk, I raised my head, and felt my nostrils swell, and made ready to go past him, till, just as I came opposite to him, something took hold of me, and I crossed over, and exclaimed, ", you old scoundrel, how are you?" It may be singular, but if I had seen him go up and break a giant's back, like Samson, he could not now be NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE. No. CCCLXXVII.-OCTOBER, 1881.-VOL. LXIII. Go drive um. Gosh all hemlock! wy don't ye go? Ef I cealed in a cloud of dust, which like a veil of yellow smoke had risen over the road before us. Go drive um, Shep!" yelled the remnant of the panting voice. "Go drive um. Thar! thet's suthin' like. Naow give it to um lively;" and a fresh cloud rose up among the trees amid a trampling sound of a host of hurrying hoofs and a half-human chorus of the bleating sheep; and then Shep's voice is heard among the scramble, and we hear the ring of boyish voices intermingled with the tuneful clatter of the falling pasture bars. As we Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1881, by Harper and Brothers, in the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. |