GENERAL AGENCY. 7 duce them to continue their agency, that being the chief object of Messrs. P. and Co. It will, in particular, be required to prove that the easiest, shortest, and cheapest mode of transporting a large number of skilful workmen, that their correspondents had wished to be sent into Biscay, to assist in the operations of some very particular friends there, was, by landing them, with their tools and engines, at Lisbon and Corunna, to proceed from thence through Portugal and Spain, to the places where their assistance was necessary. It is hoped that it will not be found impossible to prove that Lisbon and Corunna are much nearer to the river Ebro than Bilboa or Tarragona; as, although every System of Geography, from Ptolemy and Moll to Pinkerton, is unfavourable to that position, Messrs. P. and Co. are convinced that those Systems are erroneous, and that a sound and ingenious logician will find no insuperable difficulty in such a demonstration. The correspondents of Messrs. P. being also somewhat dissatisfied with the small number of horses and engines that were sent with the first division of the workmen, it will be required to prove not only that Messrs. P. and Co. had at that time neither horses nor engines; but that if there had been any in this island, it was impossible to have hired ships to take any more across the water at that time. If, at the meeting, it should be said by any of the correspondents, that Messrs. P. and Co. had not only great numbers of horses and engines, but also several very large ships, in which they might have been sent over with the workmen, it must be proved that horses cannot possibly be transported in those vessels, which are only calculated for stowing bullocks, whose horns greatly facilitate the operation of getting them on board, and of slinging them between the guns. As it will be necessary to prove, that Messrs. P. and Co. have been able, prudent, vigilant, active, and vigorous, beyond any other agents-that they have been invariably right, and their correspondents invariably wrong-it is hoped that no one will apply who cannot prove that the concerns of their correspondents have been conducted in a manner perfectly congenial to their wishes, and such as was most conducive to their interests, and cannot be so well conducted by any other persons. Apply by letter (post paid) to Messrs. P. and Co. general agents, Whitehall. [From the Oracle, Jan. 4.] THE ALL THE TALENTS. [From the Morning Post, Jan. 5.] HE day approaches, thanks to Fate, Regardless of the nation's hate, The honest to the bold give way. In Saint Stephen's chapel fam'd, Noise and nonsense, quibble, pun, Whate'er's perform'd, that we'll condemn : And perseverance is a gem, Which, stripp'd from Virtue's diadem, Advance, EPIGRAM. Advance, retreat, return, attack, To punish which, if we succeed, "Ay," quoth the friend, to whom address'd This ludicrous oration, "But till that time assur'd pray rest, MR. EDITOR, FOR THE TIMES. [Jan. 5.] SOME of your readers being at a loss to know how the Board of Inquiry meant to divide their two qualities of “zeal and firmness" among the three B 5 generals, generals, the following parody of a well-known epigram may, perhaps, solve the difficulty. EPIGRAM. Three generals in three sister kingdoms born, DR TWELFTH NIGHT. RAWING for King and Queen was general throughout this great metropolis, as well as in the festive Christmas parties assembled at the different noblemen's seats in the country. We have been favoured with a few: Mr. PERCEVAL-Mother Gole: Motto "What will become of this poor country when I am laid low?" Mr. CANNING-Serjeant Eitherside: Motto " For I'll be Vicar of Bray." Lady E. B-ST-Eloisa: Motto Make me but mistress to the man I love." Viscount CASTLEREAGH-Jack the Giant Killer: Motto " Fee, faugh, fum, I smell the blood of an Irishman." Lady H-M-LT-N-Doll Tear-sheet: Motto "Oh! the days when I was young!" Motto "Let all here be mirth and jollity." *Sir Arthur. + Sir Harry had all the firmness-he was so firm, that Sir Arthur could not get him to move. * Sir Hew. Alderman THE NEW YEAR, Alderman BIRCH-Major Sturgeon: The Marquis of AB-RC-RN-Blue Beard: The Earl of L The Countess of A Sir John Brute : Motto "Keep off, or I will knock you down." Jenny Diver: Motto "Without your cash your kissing won't do." The Marchioness of A Motto" Do but hear me." N-Hermione: THE NEW YEAR-1809. A FRAGMENT, IN IMITATION OF THE STYLE OF [From the Morning Post, Jan. 10.] HARK! 'tis the voice of merriment- * And wherefore grows this universal joy, groans Were such the causes, then 't were worthy men |