'Avaunt, ye frights!" his Lordship cried,

"Ye look most glum and whitely." “Ah, Lyndhurst dear!" the frights replied,

"You've used us unpolitely. "And now, ungrateful man! to drive "Dead bodies from your door so, "Who quite corrupt enough, alive,

"You 've made by death still more so.

"Oh, Ex-Chancellor,

"Destructive Ex-Chancellor,
"See thy work,

"Thou second Burke,
"Destructive Ex-Chancellor!"

When I came to Lefroy's "destructive" capers!

That he that, of all live men, Lefroy Should join in the cry Destroy, de

stroy!

66

Who, even when a babe, as I've heard said,

On Orange conserve was chiefly fed,
And never, till now, a movement made
That was n't most manfully retrograde!
Only think
to sweep from the light of

day
Mayors, maces, criers and wigs away;
To annihilate - never to rise again
A whole generation of aldermen,

Nor leave them even the accustomed tolls,

To keep together their bodies and

souls!

At a time too when snug posts and places
Are falling away from us one by one,
Crash crash like the mummy-cases
Belzoni, in Egypt, sat upon,
Wherein lay pickled, in state sublime,
Conservatives of the ancient time;-
To choose such a moment to overset
The few snug nuisances left us yet;

2 These verses were written in reference to the Bill brought in at this time, for the reform of Corporations, and the sweeping amendments proposed by Lord Lyndhurst and other Tory Peers, in order to obstruct the measure.

By dooming all corporate bodies to fall, Till they leave at last no bodies at all Naught but the ghosts of by-gone glory, Wrecks of a world that once was Tory! Where pensive criers, like owls unblest,

Robbed of their roosts, shall still hoot o'er them;

Nor mayors shall know where to seek a nest,

Till Gally Knight shall find one for them;

Till mayors and kings, with none to rue 'em,

Shall perish all in one common plague ; And the sovereigns of Belfast and Tuam

Must join their brother, Charles Dix, at Prague.

Thus mused I, in my chair, alone,

(As above described) till dozy grown, And nodding assent to my own opinions, I found myself borne to sleep's dominions,

Where, lo! before my dreaming eyes,
A new House of Commons appeared to
rise,

Whose living contents, to fancy's survey,
Seemed to me all turned topsy-turvy -
A jumble of polypi - nobody knew
Which was the head or which the

queue.

Here, Inglis, turned to a sans-culotte,
Was dancing the hays with Hume and
Grote:

There, ripe for riot, Recorder Shaw
Was learning from Roebuck "Ça-ira;"
While Stanley and Graham, as poissarde
wenches,
Screamed

"à-bas !" from the Tory

benches;

ANTICIPATED MEETING OF THE BRITISH ASSOCIATION IN THE YEAR 1836.

1836.

AFTER some observations from Dr. M'Grig

On that fossile reliquium called Petrified Wig,

Or Perruquolithus - a specimen rare Of those wigs made for antediluvian

wear,

Which, it seems, stood the Flood without turning a hair —

Mr. Tomkins rose up, and requested

attention

To facts no less wondrous which he had to mention.

Some large fossil creatures had lately been found,

Of a species no longer now seen above ground,

But the same (as to Tomkins most clearly appears)

With those animals, lost now for hundreds of years,

Which our ancestors used to call "Bishops" and "Peers,"

But which Tomkins more erudite names has bestowed on,

Having called the Peer fossil the Aristocratodon, 1

And, finding much food under t'other one's thorax,

Has christened that creature the Episcopus Vorax.

Lest the savantes and dandies should think this all fable,

Mr. Tomkins most kindly produced, on the table,

A sample of each of these species of creatures,

Both tolerably human, in structure and features,

jowl,

Were dancing an Irish carmagnole.

The Lord preserve us! —if dreams come

true,

What is this hapless realm to do?

deliver us!

To 've been carnivorous as well as gra. nivorous;

1 A term formed on the model of the Mastodon, etc.

And Tomkins, on searching its stomach,

found there

Large lumps, such as no modern stomach could bear,

Of a substance called Tithe, upon which, as 't is said,

The whole Genus Clericum formerly fed;

And which having lately himself decompounded,

Just to see what 't was made of, he actually found it

Composed of all possible cookable things That e'er tript upon trotters or soared upon wings

All products of earth, both gramineous, herbaceous,

Hordeaceous, fabaceous and eke farinaceous,

All clubbing their quotas, to glut the œsophagus

Of this ever greedy and grasping Tithophagus.1

"Admire,

exclaimed Tomkins, kind dispensation

"the

"By Providence shed on this much-favored nation,

"In sweeping so ravenous a race from the earth,

"That might else have occasioned a general dearth —

"And thus burying 'em, deep as even Joe Hume would sink 'em, "With the Ichthyosaurus and Paleorynchum,

"And other queer ci-devant things, under ground

"Not forgetting that fossilized youth,2 so renowned,

"Who lived just to witness the Deluge

was gratified

"Much by the sight, and has since been found stratified!"

This picturesque touch-quite in Tomkins's way

Called forth from the savantes a general hurrah;

1 The zoological term for a tithe-eater.

2 The man found by Scheuchzer, and supposed by him to have witnessed the Deluge ("homo diluvii testis"), but who turned out, I am sorry to say, to be merely a great lizard.

As to my knowledge, there's no end to 't,

For, where I have n't it, I pretend to 't;
And, 'stead of taking a learned degree
At some dull university,

Puck found it handier to commence
With a certain share of impudence,
Which passes one off as learned and
clever,

Beyond all other degrees whatever;
And enables a man of lively sconce
To be Master of all the Arts at once.
No matter what the science may be
Ethics, Physics, Theology,
Mathematics, Hydrostatics,
Aerostatics or Pneumatics