A CORRECTED REPORT OF 1834. "Then I heard one saint speaking, and another saint said unto that saint." ST. SINCLAIR rose and declared in sooth, That he would n't give sixpence to Maynooth. He had hated priests the whole of his life, For a priest was a man who had no wife,1 And, having no wife, the Church was his mother, The Church was his father, sister and brother. This being the case, he was sorry to say That a gulf 'twixt Papist and Protestant lay,2 So deep and wide, scarce possible was it To say even "how d' ye do?" across it: 1 "He objected to the maintenance and education of a clergy bound by the particular vows of celibacy, which as it were gave them the Church as their only family, making it fill the places of father and mother and brother." -Debate on the Grant to Maynooth College, The Times, April 19. 2"It had always appeared to him that between the Catholic and Protestant a great gu'f intervened, which rendered it impossible," etc. And the truth is, -as truth you will have, my sweet railer, There are two worthy persons I always feel loath To take leave of at starting, my mistress and tailor,— As somehow one always has scenes with them both; The Snip in ill-humor, the Syren in tears, She calling on Heaven, and he on the attorney, Till sometimes, in short, 'twixt his duns and his dears, A young gentleman risks being stopt in his journey. But to come to the point, tho' you think, I dare say, That 't is debt or the Cholera drives me away, 'Pon honor you 're wrong;- such a mere bagatelle As a pestilence, nobody now-a-days fears; And the fact is, my love, I 'm thus bolting, pell-mell, To get out of the way of these horrid new Peers;1 This deluge of coronets frightful to think of, Which England is now for her sins on the brink of; This coinage of nobles, coined all of 'em, badly, And sure to bring Counts to a discount most sadly. Only think! to have Lords overrunning. the nation, As plenty as frogs in a Dutch inundation; No shelter from Barons, from Earls no protection, And tadpole young Lords too in every direction, Things created in haste just to make a Court list of, Two legs and a coronet all they consist of! 1 A new creation of Peers was generally expected at this time. bigant's shop, Good for hands that the air of Mont Cenis might chap. Small presents for ladies, and nothing so wheedles The creatures abroad as your goldeneyed needles. A neat pocket Horace by which folks are cozened To think one knows Latin, when-one, perhaps, does n't; With some little book about heathen my thology, Just large enough to refresh one's theol ogy; Nothing on earth being half such a bore as Not knowing the difference 'twixt Virgins and Floras. Once more, love, farewell, best regards to the girls, And mind you beware of damp feet and new Earls. HENRY. TRIUMPH OF BIGOTRY. "COLLEGE. We announced, in our last, that Lefroy and Shaw were returned. They were chaired yesterday; the Students of the College determined, it would seem, to imitate the mob in all things, harnessing themselves to the car, and the Masters of Arts bearing Orange flags and bludgeons before, beside, and behind the car." Dublin Evening Post, Dec. 20, 1832. Ay, yoke ye to the bigots' car, Ye chosen of Alma Mater's scions; Fleet chargers drew the God of War, Great Cybele was drawn by lions, And Sylvan Pan, as Poets dream, Drove four young panthers in his team. Thus classical Lefroy, for once, is, Thus, studious of a like turn-out, He harnesses young sucking dunces, To draw him as their Chief about, And let the world a picture see Of Dulness yoked to Bigotry: Showing us how young College hacks Can pace with bigots at their backs, As tho' the cubs were born to draw Such luggage as Lefroy and Shaw. Oh! shade of Goldsmith, shade of Swift, Bright spirits whom, in days of yore, This Queen of Dulness sent adrift, As aliens to her foggy shore; 1Shade of our glorious Grattan, too, Whose very name her shame recalls; Whose effigy her bigot crew Reversed upon their monkish walls,2 Bear witness (lest the world should doubt) To your mute Mother's dull renown, Then famous but for Wit turned out, And Eloquence turned upside down; But now ordained new wreaths to win, Beyond all fame of former days, By breaking thus young donkies in To draw M.P.s amid the brays Alike of donkies and M.A.s; Defying Oxford to surpass 'em In this new "Gradus ad Parnassum." 1 See the lives of these two poets for the circumstances under which they left Dublin College. 2 In the year 1799, the Board of Trinity College, Dublin, thought proper, as a mode of expressing their disapprobation of Mr. Grattan's public conduct, to order his portrait, in the Great Hail of the University, to b turned upside down, and in this position it remained for some time. 8 'T WAS graved on the Stone of Destiny, In letters four and letters three; And ne'er did the King of the Gulls go by But those awful letters scared his eye; For he knew that a Prophet Voice had said, "As long as those words by man were read, "The ancient race of the Gulls should ne'er "One hour of peace or plenty share." |