shown such dignified conduct and superior wisdom in the management of their own houses! I am, Sir, yours, A BYSTANDER. ANSWER TO AN EPIGRAM, BEGINNING, "Man wants but little here below, Nor wants that little, Long.' [From the Morning Post, Dec. 9.]' SMALL things are great to little man, Where sense, and worth, and wealth combine; But may that treasure Long be mine! IMPROVEMENTS IN LANGUAGE. MR. EDITOR, THIS HIS is an improving age, but in nothing more than in our language. A few days ago, a young lady told me she was going to a shop in Bond Street, to look at some invisible petticoats; and last week a gentleman invited me into his garden to see the effect of an invisible fence: both of which incidents gave me an unspeakable desire to say something on the tasteful cant of these fashionable days. But cant, I find, is the order of the day; and, as if our language were deficient in words of proper and extensive expression, we must now have recourse to the slang of Newgate, as most elegantly and edifyingly issuing from the delicate mouths of our celebrated boxers, their celebrated patrons, and all the w-s, rogues, pickpockets, shoplifters, housebreakers, and footpads, their most worthy followers. But language does not come alone. Whoever acquires a new language, acquires much of the ideas of the the natives. It must not, therefore, be thought very surprising that the manners of Newgate should accompany its slang; and already we are doomed to hear, in the company of those who are styled gentlemen, and would knock you down if you said they were not gentlemen, many of those phrases, which, until very lately, were never heard but in the pressyard, or in Bridewell. And what I consider as a natural consequence, we hear many of those ideas respecting character, and even property, which are consonant to the said language, and never could have been introduced without it. It is a considerable aggravation of this growing evil, which destroys both manners and morals, that many parents encourage in their sons, what they think augurs a manly spirit; and point out boxers and boxing-matches to them as objects of laudable curiosity; as if a lad of spirit and a blackguard were synonymous, and as if the language they are taught to use in company were that for which they ought to be kicked out of it. In a word, Sir, I lament over the declension of the English language, but more over the visible decay of English manners, once so decorous and chaste; and if I cannot cure the evil, I rejoice that I can, with your help, bear my testimony against it. MR. Yours, OLIVER OLDSTYLE. NEW TERM REPORTS. [From the Morning Chronicle, Dec. 12.] R. True Purpose presents his compliments to the Editor, and will thank him to inform the public, through the Morning Chronicle, that he has no connexion whatever with Mr. False Pretences. He has not been a little surprised, and indeed nearly E 2 ruined, ruined, at finding his name recently associated with such a personage; and as he understands bills are in circulation, under the supposed joint firm of Purpose and Pretence, he thinks it necessary to adopt this means of preventing imposition on the public. Being convinced that the idea of such an association could have originated only in malice, he has been advised to bring an action against the person from whose hands he has traced the first issuing of these bills. They have appeared in different forms, and under one he was arrested by a warrant, and obliged to find bail. The indictment, however, was presented only against Pretence; and as this personage, if any such exist, could not be found and did not appear, it was attempted to make the jury believe that Mr. Purpose was the same as Mr. Pretence. The chief justice's carriage, on its way to the circuit town, had been stopped on the morning of the trial, on the Downs (very indecently it must be owned), by a set of bailiffs, with writs to the amount of 20,000l. at the suit of another Mr. Purpose-a rude, violent, and impertinent fellow, but of a very intrepid, resolute character, whose Christian name is Fixed. This man says, Mr. Hear-both-Sides was very rude to him; that he was not treated in his house like a gentleman-kept waiting in the hall-taken out of his counting-house, and not allowed to consult a friend; and therefore he does not see why he should be civil to him-tit for tat. He adds, that it will teach great folks in future better manners. Such is the steadiness of Mr. Fixed Purpose. Mr. Hear-both-Sides had been so flurried by this event, that he was easily misled by the ingenuity of the Attorney General, and charged the jury to convict True Purpose as for False Pretence, saying, he knew them to be the same person. The jury retired in still greater astonishment. Mr. True Purpose was known to the jury and to all present, present, and no evidence was before them that there even existed such a person as Pretence. The foreman was Mr. True Meaning; he thought they ought to acquit. Mr. True Intent, a very respectable sensible gentleman, was fortunately upon the jury: he said that he had known the traverser from his infancy, andthat he was the son of Mr. Undoubted Right and of Miss Actual Petition; that be was a witness of their wedding, and it was solemnized duly according to an Act of Parliament, which confirmed an ancient family settlement. Some doubt, at the time of the marriagecontract, had arisen; and therefore, after a consultation of lawyers, to prevent any question of future legiti macy, an alteration was made in the draft, and the old settlement confirmed. The jury therefore determined that they could not, without a violation of their oath, give a verdict according to the charge of the judge, whom they highly respected, but whose retirement they recollected had, during the last two years, been mentioned as contemplated before the commencement of every term, and indeed as regularly announced as the sittings fixed in the term itself; and they therefore acquitted Mr. Purpose, to the general satisfaction of the whole town. The mob took the part of Mr. Purpose, greeting him on his deliverance; and it is very well that they were kept under, and prevented from doing mischief to the prosecutor, and carrying his head upon a Pole. Mr. True Purpose was fearful that something of the kind might ensue; and indeed an ill omen had occurred to his principal accuser, who, some days before the trial, in rummaging out some old fusty books, to find probably a new penal statute, had nearly his brains knocked out by the revived spirit of some old bugbear, which had long remained encased, and being suddenly awakened, like Asmodeus restored to action and volatility, alighted instantly with its claws upon the poll of its deliverer, and scratched him dreadfully. All mischief, however, was effectually prevented after the verdict, by the exertions, not of police-men, headed by Mr. Shuffling Pretext, but of his own brother, Mr. Steady Purpose. THE SKELETON; OR, THE HAUNTED CELLAR. [From the British Press, Dec. 13.] PETER Caustic, a surgeon, as hist'ry assures, That the cellar was haunted by day, night, and morn; "For if it is haunted," thus old Toby said, "It must be by the spirit of John Barley-corn." A very strict watch, too, was carefully set, But e'en that precaution would seldom avail, For up in the night-time old Toby would get, To taste of this medical man's humming ale. An excellent cask now the surgeon possest, And, to save it, reported 't was flat and quite sour; So they gave him a can, that was none of the bestToby drank it, and greedily ask'd them for more. "Such stuff can you drink?" quite surpris'd, they ex claim; "To be sure," with ironical smile Toby said, It may be too flat, but its faults I'll not name; For, you well know, we must not speak ill of the dead." The words struck the surgeon with hope and surprise, For a very good plan he that instant conceiv'd; He a skeleton had of a wonderful size, And the cellar was haunted, as many believ'd. He secretly fix'd in the cellar, wherein Old Toby his hours of night would employ. At |