main, and it is a plea which can at all times be brought forward with good effect; for what father or -mother can be so flinty-hearted as to see their sons and daughters dropping into an untimely grave, when they may save them by dropping down the River in a Margate hoy? That these Watering-places are serviceable to health, I shall not deny; because, at & certain time, the patients return without any complaint, and remain in perfect health until the season returns-when the pestilential air of the Metropolis again drives them to the coast.

But the plea of health, although sometimes urged, is, in general, very candidly given up; and a much better reason is now adopted for visiting the coasts of Kent and Sussex, namely, that" all the world does so," and what all the world does must be right. Be the plea, however, health, pleasure, or fashion, it will, I think, be allowed, that the inhabitants of the Metropolis flock to these places in greater numbers than formerly. And I had occasion in my late tour to observe, that this has produced one or two singular effects on these repositories of health and pleasure. This season, it is supposed, that the number of visitors is actually as great as on any former occasion ; but it appears to be less; and the reason is, that the resident inhabitants and speculators, fearing they should want room to receive their customers, have extended the building-system to such a degree, as to give the idea of a crowded town, rather than a pleasant and airy village on the coast. Hence, at this time, so many-not individual houses-but whole streets, uninhabited; and, what may be thought rather singular, this emptiness has not been attended with any material reduction of price.

There are few things in this speculating country which may not become a trade; and among the most Aourishing trades in our Watering-places, is that of

landlord

landlord and landlady, many of whom are the subordinate agents of the speculating Builder, who is, in his turn, the partner with the proprietor of the ground, or the wholesale upholsterer. But as these purveyors of lodgings have at length outwitted themselves, by carrying their ideas of London emigration too far, it may, perhaps, be not yet too late to remind them, that there cannot be a greater stigma, fixed upon any Watering-place than that" there are plenty of lodgings to be let." They never made more money than when it was given out, and generally understood, that lodgings were not to be had for "love or money." A place with such a character will certainly fill, whether it be a Playhouse or a Watering-place. It is the crowding, the squeezing, the mobbing, the inconvenience, &c. which are the attractive characteristics of a Watering-place; and the proprietors of houses in them lose as much in money, when the is otherwise, as a lady of quality would do in fame, if we were to be told that egress and regress to her rout was as easy as to one's own house. The lovers of pleasure are gregarious animals, and cannot by any means be brought to entertain those vulgar ideas of ease, and comfort, and snugness, which gentlemen of the Old School are apt to delight in.

case

Unfortunately, however, the building-system has given an air of emptiness to all the Watering-places I have seen, although it is confessed, that the number of visitors is not actually different from former years; and has, perhaps, been augmented by a long course of fine weather. In this respect I can assure you that the Comet is a particular favourite both at Margate and Brighton, and is spoken of in terms of high respect by the House-speculators of Worthing, Hastings, and other places, who can conceive no other idea of a Comet, than that it is a Deputy appointed by the Sun to protract the summer a little

C &

longers

longer, and make up for the long duration of Parlia

ment.

As to the amusements in vogue at the sea-side this year, they differ little from what are usual, and what some newspapers think of consequence to be recorded, that future generations may not have that opinion of the wisdom of their ancestors which we entertain of ours. The Actors are all Garricks, the Actresses all Siddonses, and the Singers all Brahams and CataJanis. For our ass-races, pig-races, jumping in sacks, and other rational amusements, I refer you to the respeetable authorities aforesaid, and am, Sir, yours, A TRANSIENT Visitor.

A3

THE HEADACHE.

[From the Morning Chronicle, Sept. 26.]

S a vain would-be scholar sat with his head pendent,
And complain'd of a terrible pain in his poll,
"The headache," says he, " is on genius attendant,
And harasses, seldom or ever, a fool."

*If what you aver," says one present, "be true,
"T is a wonder the headache should pitch upon you!”

BONEY AT BOULOGNE.

[From the Morning Post, Sept. 27.]

Scene, the Harbour of Boulogne-The Grand Flotilla is seen at anchor-an English Frigate at a distance-A Flourish of Penny Trumpets-Enter BvONAPARTE, followed by MARIA LOUISA.

MARIA LOUISA.

Till the fact you disclos'd,

I weakly suppos'd,

That ships, from their harbours when loos'd,
Could for weeks together roam,

Without thought of coming home

Ev'ry night, just like fowls to their roost,

BONEY.

Why they could so no doubt,

But they soon would wear out,
And stand much in need of repair;
you know would not do,

That

So I make them come to,

In order to save wear and tear.

Its valour to prove,

The fleet now shall move;

And, as much pains I've taken to rig it,

You'll see from the shore,

What you wanted before,

The capture of yon saucy frigate.

[Enter Marshal NBY, with the Admiral, Commodore, and Officers of the Flotilla.]

ADMIRAL and OFFICERS,

Now, then, Marshal Ney,

In the barge you and I'll take a ride;
You, Maria, may stay,

And thence view the fray

Which pulls down the enemy's pride.

[BUONAPARTE and NEY get into a Barge. The Admiral, Commodore, &c. go on board the Flotilla, and having given three cheers, seven praams, ten brigs, and a sloop, stand out towards the English frigate; the Empress remains alone.]

SONG-MARIA LOUISA.

Tune-" Lobski said to his ugly Wife."
Boney told me the other day,

"To the coast to-morrow we'll take our way,
And then I'll show you a something new,
For you shall see what my fleet can do."
My fleet can do,

My fleet can do,

For you shall see what my fleet can do.
"That will indeed be a novelty,
Which just for once I should like to see
"If one should appear, I'll take it poz;"
And as it happen'd a ship there was.

A ship there was, &c.

Says I, "Will you take that vessel now ?”➡
"Don't make," cried he, "such a damnable row;
So stupid a question provokes me to swear:
Why, can't you perceive the wind's not fair ?"

The wind's not fair, &c.

At length, however, the fleet sets sail,
And now their thunder swells the gale.
The business is certainly past a joke,
But at present it seems a bottle of smoke.

A bottle of smoke, &c.

The English briskly ply their guns,
And now behold the flotilla runs ;

Still one of their number seems loth to go-
The frigate, I fancy, has got it in tow.

Has got it in tow, &c.

O sad misfortune! O fatal day!-
What now will the great Napoleon say?
In a hurry, I fear, he'll send me home,
And flog in his passion the King of Rome.

The King of Rome, &c.