A DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE D-E OF CD AND ONE OF THE CATHOLIC DELEGATES.

SAYS

[From the same, July 6.]

AYS His Highness to Ned, with that grim face of his, Why refuse us the veto, good Catholic Neddy?" "Because, Sir," says Ned, looking full in his phiz, "You're forbidding enough, in all conscience, already.!"

ON HEARING IT REMARKED THAT A CERTAIN FIRE WAS EXTINCT."

WIT'S

THE

EPIGRAM: SEA AND LAND.

[From the Morning Post, July 6.]

HE French declare, that though we beat 'em,
Whene'er upon the seas we meet 'em ;

Yet when by land we chance to meet,

Our army fights not like our fleet :

No more it does-for on the seas
We beat 'em, one to three with ease;
But when by land we meet, 't is true,
We only beat 'em one to two.

SHIP NEWS EXTRA.

[From the Morning Herald, July 6.]

WIND N. N. E.

REMAIN as in our last.-The Dictator, Captain

Gr-nv-lle, went into dock to have her bottom looked at, and her head scraped and new painted. The Norfolk, three-decker, unfit as a flag-ship to carry blue at the main, is cutting down for a hulk. The Demi-Catholic, Capt. C-nn-g, is ordered to

be

be lengthened and new ruddered, if her timbers are found stout enough for a first-rate. The Revolutionare, Capt. Rom-ly, drifting last night athwart hawse of the Prison tender, drove her ashore, when all the convicts escaped up the country! The Double-dealer, Capt. T-rn-y, having carried away her false keel, by running foul of the Prince, is hauled on the Hard, and her copper having also been disturbed, her plank is now to be closely examined, and if found rotten, as expected, she will be broke up. The Uxorious, Capt. Holl-d, has dropped down to Mother-bank. The Leveller, Capt. B-rd-tt, took fire in her powderroom, from trying some combustible stink-pots, and hand-grenades, on a new principle; but got under by the jolly-boat crew of the Britannia, who keep a constant watch under her stern. The Samuel Victualler, Capt. Whit-d, has made a signal in the offing that she has beer on board for the fleet; she picked up the Brawler bum-boat, Cr-v-y master, off the Fudge beacon, having sprung a leak, and obliged to heave most of her damaged cabbages and sour krout overboard. The Conflagrator fire-ship, Capt. L-d-le, having still her old store combustibles and phosphorus matches on board, is ordered into the upper harbour, for fear of an explosion.

Six P. M.-Just come in under royals, the True Briton, Capt. S-dm-th, and anchored alongside the Liverpool, Eldon, and Castlereagh. All the ships in the harbour, except those supposed to have disaffected crews, manned yards, and gave her three cheers.

After Post.-The Port Admiral has just received an account that the Luddite fever has shown itself on 1 board several of the ships at anchor in Opposition Waters.Farther advice in our next.

FRENCH

FRENCH VALOUR.

[From the Morning Post, July 8.]

WHENE'ER we meet the French at sea,

'Tis said we beat them one to three ;
Whene'er on land they come in view,
'Tis said we beat them one to two.

But what wise man can this receive

As that a wise man should believe;

Since, or engag'd on land, or sea, we find,
Their valour always leaves ours far behind? ̧

TO CABINET-MAKERS.

[From the British Press, July 8.]

T.

WAN WANTED some skilful hands, to put in order a very curious Cabinet, supposed to be of the workmanship of the reign of Charles the Second.

It is composed of twelve parts, which are contrived to fit very closely together, and made to go in and out by a secret spring, which was invented by a Scotchman, some years since, and by him first applied to this purpose.

This Cabinet is very curiously tesselated, inlaid with various pieces of mosaic work, and adorned with little wooden figures, all new within a few years, and made at a vast expense.

These figures, by a secret touch of the main-spring, are so contrived as to utter or emit sounds like human creatures, and may be made to change their notes, and sing in quite a different key, without any alteration of the words, but merely by shifting their places.

This main-spring is so exquisitely contrived, that the slightest touch, even of a child, or a female, is sufficient to put it in motion, and direct its movements.

Owing to an accident this Cabinet lately experienced in one of its supporters being broken, it has become unable to perform its movements, and has therefore been sent to different cabinet-makers to re

VOL. XVI.

M

pair;

pair; but on account of its complicated machinery, none have yet been able to agree in what is necesary to be done.

The most eminent are of opinion, that it ought to be completely taken to pieces, while others recommend only a partial repair.

Whosoever will undertake to put the same into complete repair, without taking it to pieces, or looking at the works by which the secret spring is regulated, and which must on no account be touched, may apply at the office of the proprietor, where a model of the Cabinet, and a plan of the alterations proposed, may be seen.

N. B. Expedition is required.

ONE

SUSPENDED ANIMATION.

[From the Morning Chronicle, July 9.]

NE evening last May, as the Administration
Were fishing for gudgeons in Manchester Square,

A plank started out from its regular station,

And the junto sunk down in the punt in despair.

They were dragg'd to the shore by some friends that were

boating,

H-t-d caught Y -h's whiskers and L

Vt kept B-t and H-y floating,

-I's nose;

While he threw out two buckets, and fish'd up G———e R-e.

Like a county address, they were laid on the table,

The Faculty scrubb'd them, and open'd their veins; They were buried in dung from the Regency stables; They were tickled with feathers, and coddled in grains. En long remain'd cold, but they dreaded to pain him, As deciding he often look'd thus ;-still they hopeAt last a tobacco-smoke clyster per anum

Reopen'd his lips, and he murmur'd, No Pope!

Me's

Me's skull long resisted th' electrical shock,
And Sth was hours ere enabled to feel;
S-t was flat as a flounder, Gr-t stiff as a block,
But R-e started up, and cried out, No repeal!
Thus reviv'd, to their punt they ran highly elated,
And not with sound oak, but with rags, stopp'd the hole;
Their hooks with the Treasury worms they rebaited,
And C―n was ballust, and Ch, Pole.
And a-fishing again they are gone on the Square,
But I'm told that the rags are condemn'd by the nation :
Of sinking again, let them therefore beware;
There is not one chance of their resuscitation.

T.T.

TAX ON MUSIC.

[From the Public Ledger, July 14.]

MR. EDITOR,

AS

S the tax upon leather is certainly highly unpopular, and, according to the representations of the trade, likely to become oppressive, I hope that the Chancellor of the Exchequer, who is too young in office to be obstinate, will adopt the hint thrown out in your and other papers, and exchange this for a tax on music and musical instruments. I know of none more reasonable, nor, in the present state of things, none more likely to be productive.

Music, although classed among the sciences, is not, like other sciences, confined to the learned.Science as it is, there is just enough of the mechanical in it to constitute a trade, and a very good trade too, whether the article dealt in be a fine voice or an old fiddle. Music too, although a science, is also a luxury, and, upon that account, any tax upon it is the less likely to be evaded. It is the prevailing humour at present to pinch and save in necessaries, but by no means to discontinue or abridge one article that administers to vanity and ostentation.

M 2

That