KING CRACK AND HIS IDOLS. [From the Morning Chronicle, June 25.] ING Crack was the best of all possible Kings, KI (At least so his Courtiers would swear to you gladly;) But Crack now and then would do het'rodox things, And, at last, took to worshipping Images sadly. Some broken-down Idols, that long had been plac'd In his Father's old Cabinet, pleas'd him so much, That he knelt down and worshipp'd, though-such was his. taste ! They were monstrous to look at, and rotten to touch! Hollow, wooden, and rude as if carv'd in the dark, They had, some of them, heads-but 't was curious to see In what places they wore them; for, Heav'n save the mark! Their noses were stuck where their tails ought to be. Yet these were the beautiful Gods of King Crack !— Till his People, disdaining to worship such things, Cried aloud, one and all, "Come, your Godships must pack You will not do for us, though you may do for Kings," Then, trampling the gross Idols under their feet, They sent Crack a petition, beginning, "Great Cæsar! We are willing to worship; but only entreat That you'll find us some decenter Godheads than theseare." "I'll try," says King Crack-then they furnish'd him. models Of better-shap'd Gods, but he sent them all back; Some were chisell'd too fine, some had heads 'stead of noddles, In short, they were all much too godlike for Crack! So 230 INSCRIPTION FOR THE LID OF A CHEST. So he took to his darling old Idols again, And, just mending their legs and new bronzing their faces, In open defiance of Gods and of men, Set the monsters up grinning, once more, in their places! PROPOSED INSCRIPTION FOR THE LID OF A CHEST, IN THE ARCHIVES OF THE PRIVY COUNCIL. [From the same.] all that remains of the once celebrated Through the baser passions of the human heart, may perhaps trace t origin to a remote distance; but their immediate progenitors were MALIGNITY and INFATUATION. Fostered by unremitting parental care, and the laborious exertions of their nearest relatives, a formidable and disgraceful maturity. they exercised an uncontrolled oppression over the Industry and Resources of the Poor ; Polluted the National Reputation for Commercial Integrity with the most loathsome villanies; Cherished the infant Manufactures of our Rivals ; and insulted the Public Rights of Mankind, by by a long series of hateful and aggressive Depredations. Their career was at length arrested by the awakened energies of their victims ; which only proved the genuine cowardice of Tyranny when opposed to the united efforts of Rectitude and Patriotism overwhelmed by the contempt of the Wise, their only legitimate descendant, shared the fate of its guilty parents; awfully instructive to future Legislators, of the consolatory and important Truth, L. M. N. NATIONAL GRATITUDE. MR. EDITOR, IT gave me much pleasure to hear, some time since, that that able veteran in politics, the Right Honourable Gge R-e, was about to retire, upon a Peerage and Pension, to the dignified leisure which his long public services entitle him to; and I am sure you will agree with me, that he, who has transacted so much negotium sine dignitate," ought at last to enjoy a little "otium" with it. I have since found, in the History of the Athenians, a very apposite precedent for such a well-bestowed tribute of national gratitude. "An Ass," they tell us, "having grown grown old in carrying the rubbish of one of their principal temples, was declared sacred and pensioned by the republic, in order to be exempt from labour the rest of his life." This happy animal was honoured with the name of "the Sacred Ass of Athens;" and I sincerely hope that my countrymen will imitate the generosity of the Athenians, and that the title "Sacred Ass of England" may accompany the virtuous Statesman in question to his retirement.-My author tells me further, that "the habit of carrying (rubbish) was so strong in this laborious ass, that he went regularly every day to associate with those that succeeded him, and seemed to reject the idleness which had been indulged him as a reward." In like manner, I have no doubt that our venerable Statesman will imitate the inveterate industry of his sacred Athenian prototype; and that we shall still find him hovering about his old Treasury haunts (Asinus aureus); still cutting jokes about buckets, &c. (Asinus. inter simias); and still watching the concerts of the under clerks, to observe whether the musicians sing as if they were paid or not (Asinus ad lyram). TO THE YOUNG NAPOLEON. [From the Morning Post, June 26.] BLEST infant Prince, for whom thy sire has gain'd Fame, honours, titles, splendour, fortune, throne; All these for thee thy father hath obtain'd. Enough-thy virtues will be all thine own. C. T. ROUTS ROUTS. [From the Morning Chronicle, June 27.] THE economy of our modern Routs is a high recom mendation of the arrangement. To have all the world at once is extremely commode; for the same expense in lights, and shrubs, and ornaments, that one hundred would require, will suffice for a thousand; and at the same time crowd the rooms so excessively, as to make all expenditure in ices and fruit impracticable. There is another advantage in a crowd-there is no necessity for selection. The Assembly may be incongruous with impunity-the equivocal character may jostle the rigid-and the person whom nobody knows, may be cheek by jowl with a Duchess. be For that very reason also it becomes a delightful solitude; for the company is so squeezed together as to prevent all society. The contact is so intimate as to put an end to all distinctions of limbs; and he must very mal-adroit who does not entangle himself with his next neighbour, if the arm or waist that is near him have attractions to bewilder his eyes. How perfectly at their ease, and how safe from all observation, may not a pair, qui s'entendent, be in the midst of an assembly where there is not room to move? There is, in truth, no solitude like a Rout! BLUE AND BUFF! [From the Morning Herald, June 29.] TO RESPECTABLE JEW BROKERS. TO be disposed of by hand, several new suits of Blue and Buff, spick and span new, and which having been made up for an expected day of party triumph, accidentally postponed sine die, will be sold a bargain. It might prove a profitable speculation to any 民 |