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Confide in your parents. Your most sacred and your most dangerous secrets are safer with your parents than anywhere else. Never conceal any habit or course of action from them. If you cannot trust it with your mother it has no right in your bosom. If you would blush to tell her you should blush to know it.
Never read a book you would not show your parents. Vulgar and obscene books or pictures will curse you all your years. The pictures haunt you. They blast you when you least expect it. As you value your peace read no book which you would blush to have your mother see you reading.
In mature years visit and write home frequently. Soon it will be impossible.
MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY.
Brothers in the family. Whatever makes you agreeable to your young lady friends can be added to the charms you have for your sister. Nothing is more attractive in a young man than marked attention to his sister.
Your sister naturally expects certain protection from you. She has a right to receive those delicate attentions that shall protect her from coarseness and vulgarity. Next to your mother or wife she must receive the affection that is glad to comfort.
Never leave her in want of an escort. She has a royal right to be kept from embarrassment so long as you are within reach.
Sisters in the family. The office of a sister is most delicate and important. As a sister, you are preparing your brother to move freely in the society of ladies. You are refining some woman's home. As the string follows and governs the bow so you may seem to follow, yet you do govern your brother.
How to treat the aged. The Chinese set a good example in this matter. Never banish an aged relative to some garret. The aged deserve care and attention in proportion to their years and feebleness. An old person should have the easiest chair, should never be allowed to stand either at home or in a street car, or in any public conveyance, or in public assemblies.
Greet them with a hearty good morning. Inquire after their rest. Pay special attention in seating them at the ole and in waiting upon them. Teach the children to wait upon them, and go occasionally to their rooms to see if they need any thing.
As they grow feeble they will entertain doubts about their being welcome. seek to dispel these doubts by repeated assurances and acts of kindness.
Talk to them. Listen to them. By questions start them on the themes
of their early lives. Furnish them with books in proper type. Read to them as you have time, or can take it.
Do not strain them up to your judgment. call their tastes.
Humor their whims, if you so The old shoe is the easiest, and they now need ease, not
God has special care of the aged. When the grasshopper is a burden and the windows are darkened he opens their way to other worlds. If they have grown old in religion he sends his angels to await their translation. It is good to join with the angels in ministries of kindness.
A mother-in-law in the family. Your wife is inexperienced, and the presence of her mother may be her greatest comfort. No one could be more unselfish in her counsels and care. But for your mother-in-law you would have never been blessed with your wife. She has bestowed more care and attention upon your wife than any other mortal.
In many of the trying hours of life she relieves with her experience and love from anxiety and exposure.
If her home is dismembered by death or time so she becomes an inmate and member of your family, you can ordinarily make her presence a blessing to yourself and family by making it a blessing to herself. The secret is in usefulness. The most fearful of all conditions is to feel useless. Some of the cares shifted from the shoulders of your wife will keep both her and her mother from ageing.
The criticism and joking about mothers-in-law is coarse, and indicates a low nature. It is often prejudicial and always wicked. Honor the grandmother of your children. Children, whose unperverted instincts are good tests of character, seldom go amiss concerning a grand-parent. Care of a husband's mother often becomes a question requiring special consideration. Reverence, affection, employment, and average tact will bless the home forever.
A step-mother in the family. Remember, she makes greater sacrifices in attempting to care for children than they can to make her comfortable. If she is willing the children certainly ought not to object. Few things are more senseless than the constant criticism of step-mothers. No one can tell how soon his own children may need and be glad to secure just such help and love. She is brave; honor her.
SERVANTS IN THE FAMILY.
A good master makes a good servant. But there are certain duties and rights which pertain to the servant. The servant must give the whole time for which he is paid. May aspire to higher positions.
May expect promotion from showing capacity in his present place, and from meeting perfectly its duties.
Should identify himself with the interests of his employer. If he is not faithful over things intrusted to his care, who will give him things of his own?
Should preserve the strictest fidelity.
Should serve when out of sight as scrupulously as when under the employer's eye. God sees every-where.
May secure his wishes by requests, not by commands. his ways of doing given things to the wish of the employer. Should seek to meet the wish of the employer in spirit, reliability, ability, and activity.
Should secure permanence of engagement by making himself necessary to his employer.
Should carefully study the duties assigned, so as to perform them most perfectly.
Should avoid habits and manners distasteful to his employer.
Should avoid talking much. Speak when spoken to, and when drawn into conversation by your employer.
Should seek to gain and retain respect. Respect is the foundation of all dignity. It is better to be a respected employé than a disrespected employer.
HINTS TO EMPLOYERS.
The employer should remember that all rights do not center in himself. His advantage is an incident of fortune. Kindness to his employés is in keeping with his highest dignity. Some things he ought to do in the interest of common manhood:
Identify himself with the interests of his employés. Interest begets in
Pay honestly what he would expect in a reversed case, and what God requires.
Pay promptly. A man with little credit needs regular payment.
Watch over the morals of his employés. Open the future to young men. A word or two from his superior judgment may be worth a fortune to the young man, and secure a useful member of society.
Inspire respect by the constant bearing of manhood and royalty of soul. Encourage the worker in his work.
Instruct with kindliness.
Correct in authority and in gentleness.
MISTRESS IN THE FAMILY.
The mistress should remember that her position gives her certain dignity. She can safely expect her wish to be carried out without descending to a con troversy. Her face is the sun or the night in the house.
She must preserve good temper. That will sweeten all the hours. A smile on her face and good-nature in her voice will calm any storm.
Avoid fault-finding. Instruction can be given in a better way. Lead your help into higher capabilities by hints and suggestions. Know what ought to be done, then in a quiet, kindly way see that it is done.
Improve your servants by showing them how they can do better, and what an advantage it will be to them.
Secure their confidence in your kindness, then you can direct them to better ways with ease.
Keep them in self-respect by occasional encouragements about their own neatness and personal appearance. Do not discourage a girl from brushing and ornamenting her hair. Let them keep their own rooms in order, as being parts of the hours. Make them comfortable. Servant-girls need mirrors.
Put your servants into the way of self-care by suggestions, and occasionally helping them to mend and improve their clothes.
Inspire them with the sense of life's worth. The motives from the future are urged upon servants in the New Testament. The heathen master is merged in the idea of God, so they are inspired to render service as unto God.
SUPERIORS AND INFERIORS.
Proper respect for superiors is a due part of liberty. In America we are so determined to be equal, as well as free, that we often reduce our actual grade by disregarding the natural proprieties of our situation. In law and in rights before the courts and at the polls we are equal, but in our employ. ments and social relations we are as diverse as we are numerous.
Children should be subordinate to parents, pupils to teachers, employed to employers, citizens to magistrates, the comfort of the strong and healthy to that of the delicate and feeble.
Superiors in age, office or station have precedence of subordinates, feebleness of strength, women of men.
A parent, teacher or employer may admonish for neglect of duty, may take precedence without remark or apology, while an inferior must first ask leave. Superiors may use language and manners of freedom which would be im
proper in inferiors.
Respect is due from all to all. Children should show respect to the feelings of servants.
It is the most exalted philosophy to accept facts. Assertions against the facts do not exalt the lowly or debase the truly exalted.
TRAINING CHILDREN FOR GIVEN ENDS.
What is your purpose in training-not what you would say in class or confession meeting, but in fact? Several distinct purposes animate parents. Look them over and decide what your case is, and what it ought to be.
Training for usefulness. Instill into their minds the conviction that it is greatest to serve most. Train them
To wait upon themselves, instead of calling for some one to help them. To do helpful things. Some people think it is a sign of liberal condition to disregard all helpfulness.
To appreciate an economy that saves for the sake of increasing the aggregate of supplies.
To suspect any line of action that seeks mere personal happiness or gratification.
To acquire useful accomplishments. Pastimes may be helpful by adding to the general comfort of the household.
To understand that it is more blessed to give than to receive, to minister than to be ministered unto.
To do good always as they have opportunity.
Training for wealth. Wealth is power, and may be a blessing. We instinctively want our children to have its comforts and advantages. But to train for that, so that every thought shall turn on the dollar mark, is to transform the man into a money bag. Wealth must end in usefulness or in selfishness. To give your children safe views and uses of wealth you must show them greater objects, for the attainment of which wealth is only a means— use your money for great moral or religious purposes. Show them things for which you part with money. When they are inspired with a proper estimate of the value of money in itself, and for the great ends it may accomplish, then you can set them on ways of securing it.
Teach them to earn it. It is dangerous to learn that a dollar can be had in any easier way than to earn it.
Teach them to save it,
The boy and the penny pulling one way secure
Teach them to utilize capital. Let them furnish the tools and head-work tor men of lower capabilities.