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and that will help your wife to be a model wife, and that will insure your home against shipwreck and your happiness against decay.
Seek to refine your nature. It is no slander to say that many men have wives much more refined than themselves. This is natural in the inequalities of life. Other qualities may compensate for any defect here. But you need have no defect in refinement. Preserve the gentleness and refinement of your wife as a rich legacy for your children, and in so doing you will lift yourself to higher levels.
Be a gentleman, as well as a husband. The signs and bronze and callouses of toil are no indications that you are not a gentleman. The soul of gentlemanliness is a kindly feeling toward others, that prompts one to secure their comfort. That is why the thoughtful peasant lover is always so gentle. manly, and in his love much above himself.
Remember the past experience of your wife. In all probability she has left a better home than the one to which she comes. All the changes for the worse are painful. Only her love for you extracts the pain. She cannot but contrast your pinched accommodations with the abundance she left. It is right that these changes should come. Young people cannot commence where the aged leave off. Yet it becomes you to remember that she has taken you instead of all these comforts, and you must see to it that she has no reason to regret her exchange. Make the most of her better nature. This refinement enters into her value as a mother and a maker of a
Level up. If your wife has the advantage in culture and refinement, and this is quite a common condition, as girls usually have a better chance for education and more leisure for books than boys have, do not sink her to your level, but by study and thoughtfulness rise to her plane. The very ascent will improve your home, and add to your value as a husband and to your influence as a citizen.
Stay at home. Habitual absence during the evenings is sure to bring If your duty or business calls you, you have the promise that you will be kept in all your ways. But if you go out to mingle with other society, and leave your wife at home alone, or with the children and servants, know that there is no good in store for you. She has claims upon you that you cannot afford to allow to go to protest. Reverse the case. You sit down alone after having waited all day for your wife's return, and think of her as reveling in gay society, and see if you can keep out all doubts as to what takes her away. If your home is not as attractive as you want it, you are a principal partner. Set yourself about the work of making it attractive. Find some book to read or to have your wife read to you, or some work that both can be interested in. Find something that shall give interest to the even
ings. Home is your only retreat. Satan fights a family as Napoleon fought his enemies-divides it, then whips the parts in detail. When you lounge away from home you go into temptation, and send temptation to take your place at home.
Take your wife with you into society. Seclusion begets morbidness. She needs some of the life that comes from contact with society. She must see how other people appear and act. It often requires an exertion for her to go out of her home, but it is good for her, and for you. She will bring back more sunshine. It is wise to rest sometimes. When the Arab stops for his dinner he unpacks his camel. Treat your wife with as much consideration.
HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE.
Reverence your husband. He sustains by God's order a position of dignity as head of the family, head of the woman. Any breaking down of this order indicates a mistake in the union or a digression from duty.
Love him. A wife loves as naturally as the sun shines. Love is your best weapon. You conquered him with that in the first place. You can reconquer by the same means.
Do not conceal your love from him. If he is crowded with care, and too busy to seem to heed your love, you need to give all the greater attention to securing his knowledge of your love. If you intermit he will settle down into a hard, cold life with increased rapidity. Your example will keep the light on his conviction. The more he neglects the fire on the hearth, the more carefully must you feed and guard it. It must not be allowed to go out. Once out you must sit forever in the darkness and in the cold.
Forsake all for him. Looking back may be as fatal to you as it was to Lot's wife. You have voluntarily taken him "for better or for worse." Henceforth your destinies are intertwined.
Confide in him. Distrust is a bottomless abyss.
Keep his love. It may require much care and thought, but the boon is vital to your happiness.
Cultivate the modesty and delicacy of your youth. The relations and familiarity of wedded life may seem to tone down the sensitive and retiring instincts of girlhood, but nothing can compensate for the loss of these. However much men may admire the public performance of gifted women, they do not desire that boldness and dash in a wife. The holy blush of a maiden's modesty is more powerful in hallowing and governing a home than the heaviest armament that ever warrior bore.
Cultivate personal attractiveness. This means the storing of your mind with a knowledge of passing events, and with a good idea of the world's general advance. If you read nothing, and make no effort to make yourself attractive, you will soon sink down into a dull hack of stupidity. If your husband never hears from you any words of wisdom, or of common information, he will soon hear nothing from you. Dress and gossip soon wear out. If your memory is weak, so that it hardly seems worth while to read, that is additional reason for reading. The disease is advancing to a threatening stage. Keep by you some well selected book. Read little by little, as you Think of what you read. Talk to your husband of it when he comes. If your memory fails you in the critical moment, try it again. Persist, and victory is inevitable. Ask him questions about it. Enlist his interest. Any new thing placed before him will awaken his admiration. A careful reading of the daily and religious papers will enable you to keep him posted by incidental references and statements while at table, or while walking or riding, or in the sitting-room. Soon he will come to rely upon you for his information on many matters. Then your throne cannot be shaken. This need not occupy many moments each day. But your time will not be worth having without it.
Cultivate physical attractiveness. When you were encouraging the attentions of him whom you now call husband, you did not neglect any item of dress or appearance that could help you. Your hair was always in perfect training. You never greeted him with a ragged or untidy dress or soiled hands. It is true that your "market is made," but you cannot afford to have it "broken." Cleanliness and good taste will attract now as they did formerly. Keep yourself at your best. Make the most of your physical endow. ments. Neatness and order break the power of poverty.
Do not forget the power of incidental attentions. The arrow that pierces between the joints of the mail is the one that does the execution. A little time spent by your husband's side, without actually being busied with either work or plans or complaints, is not wasted. A hand on the shoulder, a look, the creeping of your hand into his, any of the thousand little things which your instinct will teach you how to do, may drive away a cloud, and perpetuate the sunshine.
Make your home attractive. This means more than furniture. It means the thousand little touches of taste that drive the darkness out of the corners, and the stiffness out of the parlor, and the gloom out of the house. Make your home so easy that you will feel easy in it yourself. Feel at home in it yourself, then the others will also feel easy there. Keep your house clean, and in good order. It takes less time to so keep things than to neglect them and hunt for them. Even poverty is no excuse for dirt. Many a man is driven by home dirt to the bar-roon, and through that to
death. Have your table clean. Your food may be coarse and cheap, but if it is clean, and put on in an inviting shape, the meal will be relished. We have relished meals in a cabin where there was but one dish on the table, and that the kettle in which it was cooked. The appetizer was on the floor, which shone from the scrubbing-brush till one could safely eat from it. Your home is your kingdom. Its order and attractiveness will have much to do with your position as a wife.
Preserve sunshine. People shun clouds. Light is life. It does not matter that some things have gone wrong. Things have ways of going crooked. It is not best for you to keep pouring your petty trials into your husband's ears. There are times when he must hear them, but study these times. Do not keep up such a din of complaint that he identifies the idea of home with the idea of distress. In a sense he is your supreme guest. Make the best of what you have. Keep the order at the front, and organize order backward as rapidly as possible. You do not wish to always appear in the role of a beggar who sits by the highway showing his wounds and deformities as reasons for receiving pennies. Some people always retail their distresses and ailments, till one shuns them like a pest hospital. When your husband comes in, let him receive a flood of sunlight. It will do no harm if he comes to think of you as sunlight. True, he is under equal obligation to bring sunlight with him, but you can help him by example. One certain result you will secure, namely, you will avoid all the imaginary storms, be better prepared to meet the real ones, and have a vast deal of sunshine in your own life as a constant compensation.
Study your husband's character. He has his peculiarities. He has no right to many of them, but he has them, and you need to know them; thus you can avoid many hours of friction. The good pilot steers around the sunken rocks that lie in the channel. The engineer may remove them, not the pilot. You are more pilot than engineer. Consult his tastes. It is more important to your home that you should please him than any body else. Patience, time, and tact will enable you to clear out the channel, or make new channels through the very substance of his character. A given amount of study expended on him will yield a larger amount of happiness for your family than it can invested anywhere else.
Cultivate his better nature. Avoid appearing to be shocked at his rude or crude notions, but set him to thinking about things that will elevate the plane of his convictions, tastes, and feelings. Books, extracts, incidents that contain truths which you wish him to imbibe, can be put in his way or read to him in his leisure. As his standard is more elevated his actions will improve The winter's blast causes us to hug our wraps, but an hour's spring sunshine causes us to throw them open and off.
Study to meet your duties as a wife. Criticise your own defects without mercy. No one else will treat them mercifully. Correct the points that are wrong. If you are indifferent, cultivate interest. If you are negligent concerning your domestic duties, take on care. Whatever a good wife does or ought to do, do that. You can master the science of being a wife as well as you can master any other science.
Seek to secure your husband's happiness. Blessing, you shall be blessed. You cannot anchor your end of the ship in a haven of peace while the other end is carried down the cataract.
Study his interest. Many women wreck their fortune, and darken their future by indifference to the business interests of their husbands. They fix their hearts upon some display which they cannot afford. The husband must choose between bankruptcy and a family quarrel. Hoping against hope, he purchases peace at too high a price, and ruin comes in at the door which the wife opened to admit her pride or comfort. need be, live in one room. Eat from the end of a trunk, but do not go beyond your means. Nothing is more respectable than independence.
Practice economy. Many families are cast out of peace into grumbling and discord by being compelled to fight against poverty. When there are no great distresses to be endured or accounted for, complaint and fault-finding are not so often evoked. Keep your husband free from the annoyances of disappointed creditors, and he will be more apt to keep free from annoying you. To toil hard for bread, to fight the wolf from the door, to resist impatient creditors, to struggle against complaining pride at home, is too much to ask of one man. A crust that is your own is a feast, while a feast that is purloined from unwilling creditors is a famine.
FACTS FOR PARENTS.
Paternity is earth's highest dignity. The parent is the best human type of God. Paternal authority is the germ out of which are unfolded all governments and all religions. It combines law, authority, power, wisdom, providence, punishments, pardons, remedial agencies, mercy, love, sacrifice, instruction, leadership and companionship. It epitomizes nature, Providence and grace.
Children are boons. They impart dignity to life and furnish a motive for work. They gather up the withering and fading plans for self, and cast them out into the future, renewed in vigor and hope. They cement the family in unity.
Children give new life to a home. They warm the house. They dis