[A churchyard is shown on the stage. Two CLOWNS enter, bearing spades, etc.]

FIRST CLOWN.

Is she to be buried in Christian burial that wilfully seeks her own salvation?

SECOND CLOWN.

I tell thee she is; and therefore make her grave straight: the crowner hath sat on her, and finds it Christian burial.

FIRST CLOWN.

How can that be, unless she drowned herself in her own defence?

SECOND CLOWN.

Why, 'tis found so.

FIRST CLOWN.

It must be "se offendendo;" it cannot be else. For here lies the point: if I drown myself wittingly, it argues an act: and an act hath three branches; it is, to act, to do, to perform: argal, she drowned herself wittingly.

SECOND CLOWN.

Nay, but hear you, goodman delver.

FIRST CLOWN.

Give me leave. Here lies the water; good: here stands the man; good: if the man go to this water and drown himself, it is, will he, nill he, he goes; mark you that; but if the water come to him and drown him, he drowns not himself: argal, he that is not guilty of his own death shortens not his own life.

SECOND CLOWN.

But is this law?

FIRST CLOWN.

Ay, marry, is 't; crowner's quest law.

SECOND CLOWN.

Will you ha' the truth on 't? If this had not been a gentlewoman, she should have been buried out o' Christian burial.

FIRST CLOWN.

Why, there thou say'st: and the more pity that great folk should have countenance in this world to drown or hang themselves, more than their even Christian. Come, my spade. There is no ancient gentlemen but gardeners, ditchers and grave-makers: they hold up Adam's profes

sion.

SECOND CLOWN.

Was he a gentleman?

FIRST CLOWN.

A' was the first that ever bore arms.

SECOND CLOWN.

Why, he had none.

FIRST CLOWN.

What, art a heathen? How dost thou understand the Scripture? The Scripture says Adam

digged: could he dig without arms?

I'll put

another question to thee: if thou answerest me not to the purpose, confess thyself—

Go to.

SECOND CLOWN.

FIRST CLOWN.

What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter ?

SECOND CLOWN.

The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.

FIRST CLOWN.

I like thy wit well, in good faith: the gallows does well; but how does it well? it does well to those that do ill: now, thou dost ill to say the gallows is built stronger than the church: argal, the gallows may do well to thee. To 't again, come. SECOND CLOWN.

"Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or a carpenter ?"

FIRST CLOWN.

Ay, tell me that, and unyoke.

SECOND CLOWN.

Marry, now I can tell.

FIRST CLOWN.

To 't,

SECOND CLOWN.

Mass, I cannot tell.

Enter HAMLET and HORATIO, afar off.

FIRST CLOWN.

Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating, and when you are asked this question next, say "a grave-maker:" the houses that he makes last till doomsday. Go, get thee to Yaughan; fetch me a stoup of liquor. (Exit SECOND CLOWN.) (He digs, and sings.)

In youth, when I did love, did love,
Methought it was very sweet,

To contract, O, the time, for-a my behove,
O, methought, there-a was nothing-a meet.

HAMLET.

Has this fellow no feeling of his business, that he sings at grave-making?

HORATIO.

Custom hath made it in him a property of

easiness.

HAMLET.

'Tis e'en so the hand of little employment hath the daintier sense.

FIRST CLOWN. (Sings.)

But age, with his stealing steps,
Hath claw'd me in his clutch,
And hath shipped me intil the land,
As if I had never been such.

HAMLET.

(Throws up a skull.)

That skull had a tongue in it, and could sing once: how the knave jowls it to the ground, as if it were Cain's jaw-bone, that did the first murder! It might be the pate of a politician, which this ass now o'er-reaches; one that would circumvent God, might it not?

It might, my lord.

HORATIO.

HAMLET.

Did these bones cost no more the breeding, but to play at loggats with 'em? mine ache to think on 't.

FIRST CLOWN. (Sings.)

A pick-axe, and a spade, a spade,
For and a shrouding sheet:

O, a pit of clay for to be made

For such a guest is meet.

(Throws up another skull.)

HAMLET.

There's another: why may not that be the skull of a lawyer? Where be his quiddities now, his quillets, his cases, his tenures, and his tricks? why does he suffer this rude knave now to knock him about the sconce with a dirty shovel, " and will not tell him of his action of battery? I will speak to this fellow. Whose grave's this, sirrah?

Mine, sir.

FIRST CLOWN.

(Sings.) O, a pit of clay for to be made For such a guest is meet.

HAMLET.

I think it be thine indeed, for thou liest in 't.

FIRST CLOWN.

You lie out on 't, sir, and therefore 'tis not yours for my part, I do not lie in 't, and yet it

is mine.

HAMLET.

Thou dost lie in 't, to be in 't and say it is thine 'tis for the dead, not for the quick; therefore thou liest.

FIRST CLOWN.

'Tis a quick lie, sir; 'twill away again, from me to you.