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son by his side. Just at this moment, a holes, and laugh, and ask what those holes retainer of de Clifford's called off Albert were for; and as often did the good wife from the assistance of his father, to defend their mother answer, “ To see through, my himself against him. A very short time dears,” till I really grew tired of the mosufficed to lay in the dust the faithful vassal, notony of a labourer's cottage. and Albert turned eagerly to assist his At last, a young gentleman, about fifteen parent. Alas! he reached him just in time years of age, happening to step in, saw me, to receive his last word :-" Revenge my and inquired where I came from; offered death on bloody Clifford,” he said, and a groat for me, which was thankfully acexpired. Albert raged round the field, cepted, and thus, twenty-five years after my like a lioness robbed of her whelps; and master's death, I migrated again into the soon found Clifford engaged with a host family of a nobleman. of enemies. “ Base murderer,” he cried, Soon after my introduction, my eyes, or “ thou hast made me an orphan; come rather my eye-holes, were filled with beesand take thy reward from this dutiful wax, a mast was stuck in the hollow of the hand.” “Fly, young man,” said de Clif- throat, a sail hoisted upon it, and I perford, “return home, and tempt not this formed a voyage across his lordship’s lake, hand to cut off in one day the father and much to the satisfaction of my purchaser. the son.”
It would be useless to relate all the indigThe eyes of Albert flashed fire at these nities I suffered here. In fifteen years, my words : he answered not, but waved his owner succeeded to the titles and estates ; sword, and aimed a deadly blow at the and in arranging his library, he happened insulting warrior. It descended upon his to fall upon me; and, to give his study a casque, but the faithless steel broke short greater air of sanctity, I was set upon a off at his hand, and the glittering fragments pedestal of marble, four feet high, in one fell at his feet. The next moment, Clifford's corner, and in that place I continued with never-failing blade pierced his side, and few interruptions for sixty years. In that with one groan he fell upon the field, and time, however, I had become in some parts expired. When the battle was over, the highly polished, by handling; the lower corpse remained for some days upon the jaw had been united to the upper by a field, and was at length buried on the spot spring ; so that, until opened by the hand, where he fell. For twenty years I lay un- the teeth remained firmly clutched. disturbed about a foot below the surface ; At the end of that time I was left, in the at the end of that time, a labourer, guiding division of sundry articles, by the will of the a plough, drove against the collar-bone, possessor, to an old maiden lady, together and, upturning the earth, brought me to with the pedestal. She professed to have light. I was perfectly bare. For the first a very great veneration for me, and laid an six months after the decease of the young inscribed card upon the pedestal, which, and beautiful Albert, the worms had though upside-down, having lain there for revelled in my halls, but they had long no less than seventy years, I have long since since perished, and I was then in much got by memory! Judge of my astonish. the same condition that I am now. The ment, when I first deciphered the followlabourer carried me home to his wife, and, ing: “This is ye sculle of Ha de, kinge of as he placed me upon the table, observed, England, quho felle at ye battel of Hays“ Shouldn't wonder, wife, if this belonged tengs ; ye endenture over ye lefte eye being to Jack's father, down at the mill, that ye marke of ye arrow by quhich he felle. died, you know, in the battle there, twenty Presearvede in my fammily for ye laste 300 years agone, it may be, or more. “That years, E. B.C.” may be, or that may'nt be, William,” an- It may readily be supposed, that with swered the good wife. I would have cor- this inscription I attracted some notice, and rected their error if I could, but it was that many doubts were raised concerning twenty long years since that eloquent tongue the authenticity of the account : nothing, had uttered its loved sounds in my arches, however, offended the old lady more than and I was wholly unable to give expression any thing of the sort.
“ Have you seen to my feelings.
my skull ?" was her favourite question to “ Well, be that or not,” answered he; her visitors : and I was compelled passively “it may e'en remain there till its owner to hear the same falsehoods told over and chooses to ask for it :” and, with a sort of over again, at least twenty times in a year. chuckle at his wit, he set me upon a small She loved to hold disputations on the antibright oak table, that stood in one corner quity of her skull; and when she wished of the little hut. Often did his “
to express displeasure at some monstrous things” put their little fingers into my eye- absurdity, she would say, “I suppose next
you would deny the authenticity of my strangely altered : the tapestry fell to pieces skull ?" Poor hing! She laid her own in as soon as it was touched : the dress, the the dust, after I had stood there twenty manners of the people, were so different, years, but left an injunction in her will, that that I was astonished. I now again entered should the heir to her property presume to the busy world. My owner, who disturbed remove or have removed." my skull,” the my long repose, gave me to his children whole of the property should revert to the for a plaything, and sometimes I was next heir, Under the provisions of this placed in the garden on the top of a pole will, I remained in a dark room, locked up about six feet high, the pole clothed in the for fifty years; and never during that time fashion of the day, a hat stuck upon me, saw the face of any human being.
and myself a butt for the arrows of the At the end of that half century, the young marksmen. Fortunately, they were master of the mansion died; his successor, poor hands at the sport; my bat was once in searching over the house, found the dark pierced through, but I escaped altogether, room, and, opening the shutters, discovered and was for a time discarded. me; he read the card, smiled with an I lay then for some months in a dark incredulous air, took me up, conveyed me corner of the stable ; at length the elder of into another room, and placed me at the the two boys walked slyly in, drew me bottom of an old chest. He then threw forth, and, with some little trouble, placed some tapestry upon me, and I saw him me on the top of a thick post that stood no more.
over the manger, and, introducing a small Soon after, I found, by the directions I piece of lighted candle behind each eyeover-heard, that I was removed to the hole, retired. Presently came the groom, garret at the very top of the house. Here to put up his horses for the night : when, I remained, will the reader believe it, one on catching a glimpse of me, he ran roarhundred and twenty years ! For the firsting into the house, saying that he had seen ten, all was as still as when I lay with either Death or the Devil standing in the kindred bones on the plain where my dear manger. Soon after, some of the other sermaster fell : about that time I heard a vants came out, but none of them could be gnawing in the side of the chest, next to induced to enter the stable. I could have me, and, having heard the same noise laughed to hear their foolish fears and repeated for some months together, a exclamations, but since the death of my mouse at length made his appearance.
beloved master I have never smiled. In a He entered by my throat, and five others short time, the candles burnt out, and one of followed : they sat down in a circle, and the most courageous approaching the door, held a consultation together : at last four of looked in, and, seeing nothing, advanced them departed, and the other two began to a step further, the rest following with a make a nest in my mouth: for several years light, and I was soon discovered, and, with things went on very quietly; numerous co a great many expressions of surprise, depolonies sprung up, and migrated from thence, sited in my old corner. and new ones rose to supply their place; at In a few days my facetious young last three enterprising mice succeeded by master removed me thence, and took it into main strength in forcing my jaws open; his head to polish me all over, which with a nail in the side of the chest retained it in a great deal of labour he accomplished. that position, and I gaped very wide indeed I was then considered sufficiently ornafor three years.
Another door-way was mental for a place in the library; accordbored in the chest just before it; so that it ingly, I ascended to the top of an elegant seemed the gate of the castle, with a mag- book-case, between the busts of Homer and nificent portcullis over it. At length an Virgil, and remained there seventeen years. ill-starred mouse loosened the lower jaw, It is true, I was sometimes brought down, while in the act of crossing the threshold : when the curiosity of a friend desired it, the teeth gnashed together, and held the but, being soon replaced, I do not conunlucky wight fast, his head protruding sider that equivalent to a removal. I was through the gateway. In due time, he surprised to find myself in so perfect a became a prey to worms, rotted, fell away,
condition at the end of so many years; the and left only his skeleton, which I con- springs to my lower jaw had been several tinued to grasp until I was removed from times renewed, but the only wound I had, the chest, when the discovery afforded was the “endenture” over the left eye, much mirth, and an epigram was made which I had when my dear master was on it, which sailed quietly down the stream living. of oblivion, about eighty years ago.
In the year 1770, the whole of the effects When I was brought out, I found things and estate of my owner were brought to
the hammer. The sale took place on the certed at the total failure of his scheme. premises : a little ticket was placed upon I was put into a basket, and, when again my forehead, and I remained undisturbed emancipated, I found myself in a neat parin my place till my turn' came. While lour, with my purchaser and his mamma. there, I heard much conversation between But I must not be too long. two attendants who stood just below me, One day the young gentleman, who was to band up the things. At last I became very ingenious, covered me with a piece of the subject of conversation. “ That old waxed cloth, in the manner of a skin, skull there too, Jack, I always said the old placed an old wig of his father's upon me, fellow was a body-snatcher.' I hopes it's stuck a pair of leather ears upon me, nothing worse ?" answered his companion. inserted a cork nose under the cloth, and “Worse,” said the other, “what can be put in a pair of glass eyes : and having worse ?" Just then a deep voice vocife- painted the face the proper colour, I looked rated, · Bill, bring forward that most really like a living head. Finding he had curious and valuable skull, for the gentle- succeeded so far, he thought of adding men to see.” I was instantly dismounted, other requisites, and making additional and found myself iminediately in a very improvements, when he was taken suddenly motley company.
ill, and, as I understood, died soon after. “This skull, gentlemen,” said the auc- His mother now abhorred the sight of me, tioneer, " is one of the prettiest remains of and I was given away to two brothers, who antiquity, that has been brought to the soon quarrelling about me, the elder, who hammer these last three hundred years. was about twelve years of age, ran with Gentlemen, I am informed, on the very
best me into the garden, and secreted me at the authority, that this is the skull of Julius bottom of a hole six feet deep, which was Cæsar !" I was astonished ; my teeth lite filled up the same day. Here I remained, rally chattered ; the audience laughed out- as far as I could judge, thirty-nine years. right; but the auctioneer proceeded, no- In 1810 I was found by the gardener, who thing abashed :
“ You may doubt the carried me into the house again ; here, from fact, gentlemen, but I can prove it beyond the first remarks that were made upon me, the power of contradiction. We find that I learned that, the day after my burial, the Julius Cæsar, according to the account elder brother had been run over by a that Homer gives of him.” “Homer!" chaise, and killed on the spot; hence no said a gentleman, near his elbow ! “you mis- one knew where I had been placed. take there, Mr. Jenyns.” “Sir," said the My polish was now gone ; the enamel of sceptred monarch in a doubtful tone. my teeth was no more ; and I felt that this “ You must mean, Suetonius !” said the second inhumation had shaken my constiother, not unwilling to display his learning. tution more than the whole course of my “Well, sir, Homer, or Suetonius, I don't adventures above ground. remember which just now, but both lived brother, was so affected by the circumstance much about the same time,--Suetonius, of my being discovered, that he wrapped then, asserts, that the great Julius received me up in silver paper, and afterwards in his death from a wound over his left eye. brown paper; and placed me on the top See, gentlemen, bere is the very mark of shelf of a cupboard in his bed-room. He the dagger of Brutus, brute as he was, in lived sixteen years after this. On his death, this skull: and, to put the matter beyond I again saw the light, and was placed in all doubt, it was brought from Rome by a the parlour on the chimney-piece, the room gentleman who was very fond of antikities, being hung round with black: the old servant who gave no less than five hundred pounds saying, as she placed me there, that it was to be possessed of this inestimable treasure ! as well to remind the persons who came to What shall I say for it, gentlemen : £200, the funeral, that they were mortal. I thought to begin with ?" All were silent. At length that if the situation of their “dear brother a little boy in one corner bid all his wealth, departed this life," did not remind them A shilling! “ Thank you, sir," said the of this, no warning that I could give them auctioneer; a shilling bid for the skull of would have any effect. the real Julius Cæsar : I assure you, gentle- At length the mourners dropped in, to men, you will not find a duplicate of it in the number of fifteen; and sat round the all the three kingdoms.” " You don't say room, some with white handkerchiefs to so, Mr, Jenyns;” said a young lady near their eyes, others with rueful long counthe rostrum. At length, no one offering tenances. The late owner of the property more, the lot was knocked down to the had left no immediate heirs : as soon, therelittle boy for a shilling! “Take it away, fore, as decency would permit, they began Bill,” said Mr. J , very much discon
to whisper condolence to each other, inter
spersing inquiries about the value of the to the sexton for a perfect skull, he selected property, and the likelihood of finding a me. Ever since that time, I have remained will. Upon this point, they agreed but on a cheffonier, together with many large little : all affirmed, however, that the and beautiful shells: I am not now, howdeceased was a most eccentric character. ever, left wholly at peace; for my owner's They were summoned soon after to attend favourite dog never comes into the room the funeral; and in about three hours they without barking at me; and the cat, too, returned, the windows were opened, wine has several times spit in my face. Howand refreshments distributed, and all sat ever, I have ceased to mind trifles, and am down to hear the will, which had been well content to have so peaceful a repose found in the lawyer's pocket, read. as I now enjoy. I have often thought, if
“Take away that dirty skull; the very men could but know the vicissitudes of smell of it makes me quite nervous,” said life, how little room there would be for one of the party. However, no one caring . vanity or pride! to trouble himself, I remained undisturbed With what astonishment would my beon the mantel-piece. At length the will loved Albert, were he capable, now read was opened: after many pages had been this account of my peregrinations, and how discussed, of which I understood but little, shocked would be be at all the indignities I heard my own name mentioned. “The that have been put upon his head ! All is skull," said the lawyer; we come now,
vanity !-I was once the receptacle of a gentlemen, to a very interesting clause.' mind, so noble, so generous ; I was once He gave a gentle giggle. “I bequeath covered by a form almost angelic; I have this skull,” — here the lawyer cleared his since been the football of the world, the throat : “I bequeath this,” — here his plaything of children, the tea-cup of a cough became quite ungovernable.—“I be- miser ;--surely, surely, I have little cause queath this skull," he continued again ; for vanity! “ Well, sir, does he bequeath it to the Moralizing on my own changes, I have bone-house or the dogs ?" said the gentle- been led to do so on those of others. man who had before spoken. “ You shall I looked back into old time : The labourer hear, sir,” said the gentleman of the quill, turned me up from my silent bed; it rewith the most un perturbed gravity. “I be- minded him not that his head must one queath this skull,-get out, Paragraph,” day lie as low: the young nobleman set said he, kicking a dog which began to me afloat upon the lake; he remembered whine piteously.-Once more, “I be. not the sea upon which he was sailing, nor queath this skull, together with ten the shore to which he must soon come : thousand pounds, to any one of my relations every day, for twenty years, the maiden who shall attend my funeral, and who will lady cast her eyes upon me, but never once engage, under the most solemn affidavit, did it remind her of the long home to guaranteed in such manner as my executors which she was hastening: the children who shall see fit, to drink bis breakfast out of it shot their arrows at me, thought not of that every morning for one year, from the time sure archer, who soon sent unerring shafts of possession : if there shall be more than into their bosoms : the ingenious youth who one competitor for it, they shall draw lots.” put a covering of false skin upon me, was
He ceased, and looked up. Dismay totally unmindful that in a year's time his sat on every countenance. “Ten thousand would be as bare as myself: the poor
little pounds!” said one. “A whole year!” boy, who put me in a hole six feet below said another. “And an affidavit,” mumbled the surface of the ground, little thought a third ! “Stay,” said the lawyer, “there that in one week he would lie as low, and is a clause in the codicil I had almost for as unconcerned, as myself: the poor worgot; the skull shall not be lined with any shipper of mammon remembered not that substance whatever, and the liquor shall be he could carry nothing with him in his final sassafras tea."
retreat over that bourn from which no At length seven of them drew lots : when traveller returns : the collector of curiosities the lot fell upon that gentleman who had regarded me as a token of man's faded protested so loudly against my offensive glory, yet acted as though his own had smell. I was removed soon after, and for been unchangeable: in short, I have passed twelve months was I the breakfast cup of through almost every stage of life, the this worshipper of mammon : on the three emblem of death, and have, I fear, never hundred and sixty-fifth day, I was sent to excited one proper feeling upon the subject. the parish bone-house.
Oh ! how callous is the heart of man ! I did not, however, remain there long : He needs, indeed, to be reminded with line for a collector of curiosities having applied upon line, and precept upon precept, if by
any means he will arise and consider his periodical work, the columns of which are latter end. His stony heart needs to be open to the discussion of interesting and broken with a hammer in pieces, ere it will important subjects, I beg leave to request see its real interests.
the insertion in the Imperial, of a rejoinder I have seen all things that are under the to the reply of Argus to my former essay, sun, and behold all are vanity and vexation which a friend has just handed to me, as of spirit. Favoured as I have been with so contained in your Number for December, long a view of the things of this world, I 1831, p. 556. The importance of the would give my lașt word unto the sons of subject at the present eventful crisis, will, men. You are all now living; I can assure I trust, plead successfully with both youryou, and my own situation will be my war self and your readers, as an apology for my rant, that you must all die. There is no present intrusion on their attention ; and thing common-place in this; oh! no: it which, I assure you, shall finally terminate is its very importance that makes it so little the controversy on my part. attended to; all are gone astray : they fix If the main question at issue be, as I their minds on trifles, and neglect the presume it is, the abstract one, whether, or weightier matters : and that which of all is not, a national church is necessarily a nathe most weighty, most certain, and most tional evil, in reference to the religion of irrevocable, is, as if by common consent, the country in which it exists,- I think never mentioned at all.
Would not a there can be no doubt whatever, of its stranger to our orb, and species, exclaim, negative decision against all the hostile
Surely they are all mad !”—when he saw arguments of your sharp-sighted correthem toiling for bubbles, and neglecting spondent: for the highest possible authorealities; catching at shadows, and spurning rity in the universe has not only sanctioned, the substance.
but, in the only theocracy that ever existed, My own experience will shew how little instituted “ church establishment,” to the it avails that men lay up riches, make great full extent of the definition thereof, which works, build houses, plant vineyards ; this watchful guardian of British piety has there is no remembrance of the wise man given us. It is true, sir, that establishment, more than of the fool for ever. And how being imperfect and typical in its institudieth the wise man ? As the fool.
tions, in due time yielded up its ceremoThere is one point of consequence : eter nious appendages, to make way for the nity is in the question. Then grant me one introduction of a more simple, yet effiword more, and I will address it to the cacious mode of worship, “established" by youth: would that my beloved master could the same authority, and consequently, now hear, and profit by my warning ! equally binding upon all its subjects; while Remember now thy Creator in the days of the latter, possessing the imperative comthy youth, while the evil days come not, mand of its divine Author for its universal por the years draw nigh, when thou shalt acceptation, that mandate extends the say, I have no pleasure them! Very moral obligation of its reception and obshortly shall your dust return to the earth servance from Judea to the whole habitable as it was, and your spirit shall return to globe, and to every individual, and conseGod who gave it.
quently to every nation, and every poliThis is the warning, silent warning, that tical state also, therein—which are necesI have given all along. I called, but they sarily composed of individuals. refused to hear : and now for them I speak The fact, therefore, of God having him. in vain for ever. To you then that live yet; self instituted an “established national or ever the silver cord be loosed, attend to church," and saddled the country in which my last parting words : “Fear God, and it was erected with its support, proves, keep his commandments, for this is the beyond the possibility of refutation, that whole duty of man. For God shall bring such an establishment can bave no natural every work into judgment, with every secret or necessary tendency to injure the interests thing, whether it be good, or whether it of religion. be evil.”
But there is another important question March 22, 1832.
W.G. B. affecting the basis of your correspondent's
conclusions, viz. whether or not, the political state, which embraces the religion of such
a church, and, admitting that religion to J. TUCKER's rejoinder to ARGUS.
correspond in all its principles with the MR. EDITOR,
rules laid down in the divine oracles, as SIR,—Presuming upon the equity and im- the accredited guide of both its faith and partiality which ought to characterize every prortice,—whether that state has, or has
ON CHURCH ESTABLISHMENTS.