how much I was suffering on his account. Soon after this, I took up my pen, and wrote to Mrs. Lindsey, not indeed telling her the strong impression made upon my mind, but describing the stranger, in the exact terms which my feelings dictated, leaving her to make the inference which I believed she would make, and which I thought would procure for me the best advice of a kind, judicious, and impartial friend.

CHAPTER 17.

Enigmatical letter from Mrs. Lindsey....Painful state of suspence...An interesting letter answered....Full testi mony borne to the excellence of the Author's newly acquired friend....His unfortunate visit at Warley....Fatal effects of a damp bed....His illness....Visited in London by Mr. Lindsey....Leaves England....His death....The Author's affliction....A dangerous illness the effect of extreme and long continued anxiety....Important enquiry respecting the government and providence of God....The uses and improvement of such afflictive dispensations.

WE left Harrogate in a few days after this; and I accompanied my aunts to York, whence I was engaged to make two visits, before my return to Bedale. The first to Cawood, which I expected to occupy about three weeks; and the second to Boynton, which was probably to be much longer, as I had promised my friend, lady Strickland, who was about to be confined, to stay with her till her recovery. When I had been about ten days with her at Boynton, I received

from Mrs. Lindsey, an answer to my letter; in which she rallied me on my accomplished stranger, promising however, that if I would be patient and very grateful, she would reveal to me his whole history; and moreover, that he should in future, be considered by me, in whatever relation myself and my friends might desire. Nothing could surpass my astonishment on reading this letter, which was couched in these general terms, without any further explanation. It did not remain long unanswered; and I earnestly besought her not to trifle with me, but to state ingenuously, every thing she knew on a subject, which I did not hesitate to acknowledge, had interested me more deeply than I wished.

Mrs. L. wrote again immediately, telling me that my brother had received a letter from Mr. J. avowing his attachment in the strongest and most handsome terms, adding that "conscious of his own want of fortune, he dreaded to inquire into mine, for that if it were considerable, he durst not flatter himself with the most distant hope of success, having nothing but a liberal profession to throw into the opposite scale;-that being thus circumstanced, he did not consider himself as being at liberty to apply to her who was most nearly concerned, without previously obtaining the permission of a brother, whom he must consider as her guardian and friend." This letter, my good mother, full of anxiety on my account, had brought to Catterick, to consult with Mr. and Mrs. Lindsey on the subject; and they had determined that she should write to Mr.

Baron Winn, requesting that he or his lady, (my late Nostel friend) as they were then in town, and had the opportunity, would inquire of the Molesworth family, if the account Mr. J. had given of himself, were agreeable to fact;-and also, what had been his character, connexions, &c. No answer, she said, had yet been received to this inquiry, and when it did arrive, she imagined no further steps would be taken, till after my return to Bedale. I was not however to tell my mother that I had received this information, as she had wished to conceal it from me during my absence, in order to spare me every unnecessary anxiety.

I approved entirely of the inquiry which had been instituted, but grieved exceedingly, that my brother had not answered the letter, stating my absence from home, and saying, that on my return thither, he would acquaint me with it. Had my mother herself told me these circumstances, I should instantly have desired that this might be done, but she acted on the kindest motives, and I was bound in honour to Mrs. Lindsey, not to tell her that I had heard the account from another quarter. Thus was I made acquainted with an occurrence on which, as on the key-stone of a building, all the future events of my life would probably depend, yet without the possibility of acting with respect to it, in any manner whatsoever-a situation which was to continue for some weeks to come! Mr. J. was also to remain in a similar state of anxiety, with the additional aggravation of not being able to account for the extraordinary delay.

It was now, in this interval of painful suspence, that I experienced with full emphasis, the extreme importance of being able in practice, as well as in theory, to resign all passing and future events, entirely into the hands of the Supreme Ruler over all. I remembered who had said that, "without our heavenly Father, not a sparrow falleth to the ground, and that the very hairs our head are all numbered." But I found that it was one thing to have a general belief in gospel promises, and quite another, to act resignedly upon them. Still the question occurred, "Is God really the author and controller of those events, which take place through the agency of others; as well as of those which appear to come more immediately from his own hand? Can the affairs of one so insignificant as myself, of one, whose happiness or misery can be of no comparative importance, in the mighty range of created being, can the interest of such an one, be indeed an object of his guardian care ?"-The blessing seemed too great to be fully believed, and I was wholly unable to derive from it, all the comfort it ought to have inspired.

At length, on my return home, this important letter which had now remained almost two months unanswered, was put into my hands; also one from Mrs. Winn, stating that her inquiry had been very satisfactory; that the fullest testimony was borne by the Molesworth family, to the excellent character of Mr. J. and offering on the part of Baron Winn, if it would be of any

use to me, to see and to converse with him in person.

It was determined that my brother should answer Mr. J.'s letter immediately, and should state that my fortune being small as well as his, the difficulties that presented themselves, seemed insurmountable; but that if he wished to explain more fully his present situation and future prospects, and to become acquainted more particularly with mine, and would call upon Mr. Baron Winn for that purpose, he would explain them to him. The purport of this letter I entirely approved, but I much disliked the manner of it, it was my brother's letter, not mine; yet there was nothing in it to which I could reasonably object, and it went accordingly.

On the receipt of this letter, Mr. J. went immediately to Baron Winn's country seat in Essex, about twenty miles from London. He told him that he had no private fortune at present, having given up a small estate left him by his father, to his mother, and that she was still living; that it would be his wish to settle in England as a barrister, and that he had been greatly encouraged to decide upon Leeds, where there appeared to be a sufficient opening for a person in that profession; a proposal, he added, to which he was the more induced, as he hoped it might facilitate his success in an object still nearer his heart. I hardly know for what reason, but Baron W. discouraged him wholly against fixing in the country, and his advice weighed so decidedly, that he relinquished the project entirely. This journey