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Dodona, 'mid her fanes and forests hoar,

Heard it with solemn glee:
And old Parnassus, with a lofty roar,

Told it from sea to sea!
High-bosom'd Greece, through her unnumber'd vales,

Broke forth in glorious song! Her classic streams that plough the headlong dales,

Thunder'd the notes along'
But there's a bloodier wreath to gain, oh friends!

Now rise, or ever fall !
If ye fight now no fiercer than the fiends,

Better not fight at all!
The feverish war-drum mingles with the fife

In dismal symphony,
And Moslem strikes at liberty and life

For both, strike harder ye!

Quoth Corn then, in answer to Cotton,

Perceiving he meant to make free,“Low fellow, you 've surely forgotten

The distance between you and me! “To expect that we, peers of high birth,

Should waste our illustrious acres For no other purpose on earth

Than to fatten curst calico-makers ! “That bishops to bobbins should bend, -

Should stoop from their bench's sublimity, Great dealers in lawn, to befriend

Your contemptible dealers in dimity!
“No--vile manufactura ! ne'er harbour

A hope to be fed at our boards;
Base offspring of Arkwright, the barber,

What claim canst thou have upon lords? “No--thanks to the taxes and debt,

And the triumph of paper o'er guineas, Our race of Lord Jemmys, as yet,

Many defy your whole rabble of Jennys !" So saying, whip, crack, and away

Went Corn in his cab through the throng, So madly, I heard them all say

Squire Corn would be down, before long.

Hark! how Cithæron with his earthquake voice

Calls to the utmost shores !
While Pluto bars, against the riving noise,

His adamantine doors !

Athene, tiptoe on her crumbling dome,

Cries—“Youth, ye must be men!" And Echo shouts within her rocky tomb,-

“Greeks, become Greeks again!"

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Be wise, be firm, be cautious, yet be bold !

Be brother-true! be ONE!
I teach but what the Phrygian taught of old-

Divide, and be undone!
Hallow'd in life, in death itself, is he

Who for his country dies ;
A light, a star, to all futurity-
Arise ye,

then! arise!

O countrymen ! O countrymen! once more

By earth and seas--and skiesBy Heaven-by sacred Hades—I implore

Arise! arise! arise !

His owners and drivers stood round in amaze

What! Neddy, the patient, the prosperous Neddy So easy to drive through the dirtiest ways,

For every description of job-work so ready! One driver (whom Ned might have "hail'd" as a

" brother") Had just been proclaiming his donkey's renown, For vigour, for spirit, for one thing or other,

When, lo, 'mid his praises, the donkey came down! But, how to upraise him ?-one shouts, ť other whis

tles, While Jenky, the conjuror, wisest of all, Declared that an over-production" of thistles?

(Here Ned gave a stare)—was the cause of his fall Another wise Solomon cries, as he passes,

“There, let him alone, and the fit will soon cease

COTTON AND CORN.

A DIALOGUE.
Said Cotton to Corn, t' other day,

As they met, and exchanged a salute(Squire Corn in his cabriolet,

Poor Cotton, half famish'd, on foot) “Great squire, if it is n't uncivil

To hint at starvation before you, Look down on a hungry poor devil,

And give him some bread, I implore you!"

1 Alluding to an early poem of Mr. Coleridge's addressed to an ass, and beginning, “I hail thee, brother!"

2 A coruuin country genileman baving said in the House, " that we must return at last to the food of our ancestors, somebody asked Mr. T." what food the gentleman meant to -"Thistles, I suppose," answered Mr. T

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The beast has been fighting with other jack-asses,
And this is his mode of 'transition to peace.'"

REFLECTIONS
Some look'd at his hoofs, and, with learned grimaces, SUGGESTED BY A LATE CORRESPONDENCE ON THE

CATHOLIC QUESTION. Pronounced that too long without shoes he had

Poor Catholics, bitter enough, gone "Let the blacksmith provide him a sound metal basis, Heaven knows, are the doses you've taken ; (The wiseacres said,) and he's sure to jog on." You've swallow'd down L-V-RP-L's stuff,

His nonsense of ether, “ well shaken;" But others who gabbled a jargon half Gaelic,

You've borne the mad slaver of LEES, Exclaim'd, “ Hoot awa, mon, you 're a' gane And the twaddle of saintly Lord L-RT-N; astray,”

But-worse, oh ye gods, than all theseAnd declared that," whoe'er might prefer the metallic, You've been lectured by Mr. Sec. H-RT-N! They'd shoe their own donkeys with papier mache."

Alas for six millions of men ! Meanwhile the poor Neddy, in torture and fear,

Fit subjects for nought but dissection, Lay under his panniers, scarce able to groan,

When H-RT-n himself takes the pen, And—what was still dolefuller-lending an ear

To tell them they 've lost his protection ! To advisers whose ears were a match for his own.

Ye sects, who monopolise bliss,

While your neighbours' damnation you sport on, At length, a plain rustic, whose wit went so far

Know ye any dainnation like this, As to see others' folly, roar'd out, as he pass'd

To be cut by the Under Sec. H-RT-x? " Quick-off with the panniers, all dolts as ye are, Or your prosperous Neddy will soon kick his last !"

THE GHOST OF MILTIADES.

Ab quoties dubius Scriptis exarsit amator - Ooid.

ODE TO THE SUBLIME PORTE.
Great Sultan, how wise are thy state compositions !

And oh, above all, I admire that decree,
In which thou command'st that all she politicians

Shall forth with be strangled and cast in the sea.
'Tis my fortune to know a lean Benthamite spinster-

A maid, who her faith in old JEREMY puts ;
Who talks, with a lisp, of "the last new Westminster,"
And hopes you 're delighted with “Mill upon

Gluts ;"

Who tells you how clever one Mr. F-NBL-NQUE is,

How charming his Articles 'gainst the Nobility ;And assures you, that even a gentleman's rank is,

In Jeremy's school, of no sort of utility.

To see her, ye Gods, a new Number devouring

Art. 14" On the Needle's variations," by Snip :Art. 2-“On the Bondage of Greece," by John

B-R-NG (That eminent dealer in scribbling and scrip;)—

The ghost of Miltiades came at night,
And he stood by the bed of the Benthamite,
And he said, in a voice that thrill'd the frame,
“If ever the sound of Marathon's name
Hath fired thy blood, or fush'd thy brow,
Lover of liberty, rouse thee now!"
The Benthamite, yawning, left his bed-
Away to the Stock Exchange he sped,
And he found the scrip of Greece so high,
That it fired his blood, it flush'd his eye,
And oh! 't was a sight for the ghost to see,
For there never was Greek more Greek than he !
And still, as the premium higher went,
His ecstasy rose-so much per cent.
(As we see, in a glass that tells the weather,
The heat and the silver rise together,)
And Liberty sung from the patriot's lip,
While a voice from his pocket whisper'd,“ Scrip"
The ghost of Miltiades came again ;-
He smiled, as the pale moon shines through rain,
For his soul was glad at that Patriot strain;
(And, poor, dear ghost-how little he knew
The jobs and tricks of the Philhellene crew !-
“Blessings and thanks!" was all he said,
Then melting away, like a night-dream, fled!
The Benthamite hears--amazed that ghosta
Could be such fools-and away he posts.
A patriot still ? Ah no, ah no-
Goddess of Freedom, thy scrip is low,
And, warm and fond as thy lovers are,
Thou triest their passion when under par.
The Benthamite's ardour fast decays,
By turns, he weeps, and swears, and prays,
And wishes the D-1 had crescent and cross,
Ere he had been forced to sell at a loss

Art. 3—“Upon Fallacies," JEREMY's own

(The chief fallacy being his hope to find readers ;) Art. 4"Upon Honesty," author unknown ;

Art. 5—(by the young Mr. M—) "Hints to Breed

ers."

Oh Sultan, oh Sultan, though oft for the bag

And the bowstring, like thee, I am tempted to callThough drowning's too good for each blue-stocking

hag, I would bag this she Benthamite first of them all!

Ay, and-- lest she should ever again lift her head

From the watery bottom, her clack to renew,-
As a clog, as a sinker, far better than lead,
I would hang round her neck her own darling Re.

view

They quote him the stock of various nations, Oft, too, the Corn grows animate,
But, spite of his classic associations,

And a whole crop of heads appears,
Lord! how he loathes the Greek quotations! Like Papists, bearding Church and State
“Who'll buy my scrip? Who'll buy my scrip ?" Themselves, together by the ears !
Is now the theme of the patriot's lip,
As he runs to tell how hard his lot is

While, leaders of the wheat, a row
To Messrs. Orlando and Luriottis,

Of Poppies, gaudily declaiming,

Like Counsellor O'Bric and Co.,
And says, “Oh Greece, for liberty's sake,

Stand forth, somniferously flaming!
Do buy my scrip, and I vow to break
Those dark, unholy bonds of thine-

In short, their torments never cease;
If you'll only consent to buy up mine?"

And oft I wish myself transferr'd off The ghost of Miltiades came once more;

To some far, lonely land of peace, His brow, like the night, was lowering o'er,

Where Corn or Papist ne'er were heard of. And he said, with a look that flash'd dismay, Oh waft me, Parry, to the Pole ; “ Of Liberty's foes the worst are they

For-if my fate is to be chosen Who turn to a trade her cause divine,

'Twixt bores and ice-bergs--on my soul, And gamble for gold on Freedom's shrine!"

I'd rather, of the two, be frozen !
Thus saying, the ghost, as he took his flight,
Gave a Parthian kick to the Benthamite,
Which sent him, whimpering, off to Jerry-
And vanish'd away to the Stygian ferry!

CROCKFORDIANA

EPIGRAMS.

1.
CORN AND CATHOLICS.

Mala vicini pecoris contagia lædunt.
What can those workmen be about?
Do, C

-D, let the secret out,
Utrum horum

Why thus your houses fall.-
Dirios borum !-- Incerti Auctores.

Quoth he, “Since folks are not in town,

I find it better to pull down, What! still those two infernal questions,

Than have no pull at all." That with our meals, our slumbers mix

2. That spoil our tempers and digestionsEternal Corn and Catholics!

SEE, passenger, at C- D's high behest,

Red coats by black-legs ousted from their nest,Gods! were there ever two such bores ?

The arts of peace, o'ermatching reckless war,
Nothing else talk'd of, night or morn-

And gallant Rouge undone by wily Noir !
Nothing in doors or out of doors,
But endless Catholics and Corn!

3. Never was such a brace of pests

linpar congressusWhile Ministers, still worse than either, Fate gave the word—the King of dice and eards Skill'd but in feathering their nests,

In an unguarded moment took the Guards; Bore us with both, and settle neither.

Contrived his neighbours in a trice to drub,

And did the trick by-turning up a Club
So addled in my cranium meet
Popery and Corn, that oft I doubt,

4. Whether, this year, 't was bonded wheat,

Nullum sirnile est idem. Or bonded papists, they let out.

"T is strange how some will differ—some advance Here landlords, here polemics, nail you,

That the Guard's Club House was pull'd down by Arm'd with all rubbish they can rake up;

chance; Prices and texts at once assail you

While some, with juster notions in their mazard, From Daniel these, and those from Jacob.

Stoutly maintain the deed was done by hazard.
And when you sleep, with head still torn,
Between the two, their shapes you mix,

THE TWO BONDSMEN.
Till sometimes Catholics seem Com,
Then Corn again seems Catholics.

When Joseph, a Bondsman in Egypt, of old,

Shunn'd the wanton embraces of Potiphar's dame, Now Dantzic wheat before you floats

She offer'd him jewels, she offer'd him gold, Now, Jesuits from California

But more than all riches he valued his fame. Now Ceres, link'd with Titus Oats,

Oh Joseph ! thou Bondsman of Greece, can it be Comes dancing through the “ Porta Cornea."'

That the actions of namesakes so little agree? 1 The Horn Gate, through which the ancients supposed When with 13 per cent. she embellish'd her charms,

Greek Scrip is a Potiphar's lady to thee. all true dreams (such as those of the Popiah Plot, etc.) to

Didst thou fly, honest Joseph ? Yes-into her arms

pass

Oh Joseph ! dear Joseph! bethink thee in time,
And take a friend's counsel, though tender'd in rhyme.
Refund,“ "honest" Joseph: how great were the shame,
If, when posteriority' sits on thy name,
They should sternly decree, 'twixt your namesake

Of all the beasts that ever were born,
Your Locust most delights in corn ;
And, though his body be but small,
To fatten him takes the devil and all !

and you,

That he was the Christian, and thou wert the Jew.

THE PERIWINKLES AND THE LOCUSTS.

Nor this the worst, for direr still,

Alack, alack and a well-a-day !

Their Periwinkles,-once the stay And prop of the Salmagundian till For want of feeding, all fell ill!

And still, as they thinn'd and died away, The Locusts, ay, and the Locusts' Bill

Grew fatter and fatter every day!
“ Oh fie! oh fie!” was now the cry,
As they saw the gaudy show go by,
And the Laird of Salmagundi went
To open his Locust Parliament !

A SALMAGUNDIAN HYMN.

"To Panurge was assigned the Lairdship of Salmagundi, which was yearly worth 6,789,106,789 ryals, besides the revenue of the Locusts and Periwinkles, amounting one yoar with another to the value of 2,425,768, etc. etc."Rabelais.

"HURRA! Hurra!" I heard them say,
And they cheer'd and shouted all the way,
As the Laird of Salmagundi went,
To open in state his Parliament.
The Salmagundians once were rich,
Or thought they were—no matter which-
For, every year, the Revenue?
From their Periwinkles larger grew ;
And their rulers, skill'd in all the trick,
And legerdemain of arithmetic,
Knew how to place 1, 2, 3, 4,

5, 6, 7, 8, and 9, and 10,
Such various ways, behind, before,
That they made a unit seem a score,

And proved themselves most wealthy men ! So, on they went, a prosperous crew,

The people wise, the rulers clever,And God help those, like me and you, Who dared to doubt (as some now do) That the Periwinkle Revenue

Would thus go flourishing on for ever.

A CASE OF LIBEL.
A CERTAIN old Sprite, who dwells below

('T were a libel, perhaps, to mention where) Came up incog., some winters ago,

To try for a change, the London air.
So well he looked, and dress'd and talked,

And hid his tail and his horns so handy,
You'd hardly have known him, as he walk'd

From *****, or any other Dandy. (N.B.—His horns, they say, unscrew;

So, he has but to take them out of the socket, And—just as some fine husbands do

Conveniently clap them into his pocket.) In short, he look'd extremely natty,

And ev'n contrived—to his own great wonder By dint of sundry scents from Gattie,

To keep the sulphurous hogo under.
And so my gentleman hoofd about,

Unknown to all but a chosen few
At White's and Crockford's, where, no doubt

He had many post-obits falling due.

“Hurra! hurra!" I heard them say,
And they cheer'd and shouted all the way,
As the Great Panurge in glory went,
To open his own dear Parliament.
But folks at length began to doubt
What all this conjuring was about ;
For, every day, more deep in debt
They saw their wealthy rulers get :-
“Let's look (said they) the items through,
And see if what we're told be true
Of our Periwinkle Revenue."
But, lord, they found there was n't a tittle

Of truth in aught they heard before ;
For, they gain'd by Periwinkles little,

And lost by Locusts ten times more !
These Locusts are a lordly breed
Some Salmagundians love to feed.

Alike a gamester and a wit,

At night he was seen with Crockford's crew, At morn with learned dames would sit

So pass'd his time 't wixt black and blue. Some wish'd to make him an M. P.,

But, finding W—lks was also one, he Was heard to say "he'd be d-d if he

Would ever sit in one house with Johnny." At length, as secrets travel fast,

And devils, whether he or she,
Are sure to be found out at last,

The affair got wind most rapidly.
The press, the impartial press, that snubs

Alike a fiend's or an angel's capers-
Miss Paton's soon as Beelzebub's-

Fired off a squib in the morning papen i “We warn good men to keep aloof

From a grim old Dandy, seen about,

1 Remote posterity-a favourite word of the present Attorney-General's. 2 Accented as in Swift's line"Not so a nation's revenues are paid."

With a fire-proof wig, and a cloven hoof, | They may treat us, like Kelly, with old jeux-d'esprits, Through a neat-cut Hoby smoking out."

Like Reynolds, may boast of each mountebank

frolic, Now, the Devil being a gentleman,

Or kindly inform us, like Madame Genlis,' Who piques himself on his well-bred dealings,

That ginger-bread cakes always give them the coYou may guess, when o'er these lines he ran,

lick. How much they hurt and shock'd his feelings.

There's nothing, at present, so popular growing Away he posts to a man of law,

As your Autobiographers—fortunate elves, And oh, 't would make you laugh to 've seen Who manage to know all the best people going, 'em,

Without having ever been heard of themselves ! As paw shook hand, and hand shook paw, And 't was "hail, good fellow, well met," be. Wanted, also, new stock of Pamphlets on Corn, tween 'em.

By “Farmers” and “ Landholders"-(gemmen,

whose lands Straight an indictment was preferr'd

Enclosed all in bow-pots, their attics adorn, And much the Devil enjoy'd the jest,

Or, whose share of the soil may be seen on their When, looking among the judges, he heard

hands.) That, of all the batch, his own was Best.

No-Popery Sermons, in ever so dull a vein, In vain Defendant proffer'd proof

Sure of a market;-should they, too, who pen 'em, That Plaintiff's self was the Father of Evil

Be renegade Papists, like Murtagh O'S-ll-v-n,? Brought Hoby forth, to swear to the hoof,

Something extra allow'd for the additional venom And Stultz, to speak to the tail of the Devil.

Funds, Physic, Corn, Poetry, Boxing, Romance, The Jury-saints, all snug and rich,

All excellent subjects for turning a penny ;-And readers of virtuous Sunday papers, To write upon all is an author's sole chance Found for the Plaintiff-on hearing which

For attaining, at last, the least knowledge of any. The Devil gave one of his lofliest capers.

Nine times out of ten, if his title be good, For oh, it was nuts to the father of lies

His matter within of small consequence is ;(As this wily fiend is named, in the Bible, Let him only write fine, and, if not understood, To find it settled by laws so wise,

Why,—that's the concern of the reader, not his. That the greater the truth, the worse the libel!

N.B.-A learn'd Essay, now printing, to show,

That Horace (as clearly as words could express it

Was for taxing the Fund-holders, ages ago,
LITERARY ADVERTISEMENT.

When he wrote thus" Quodcunque in Fund is WANTED—Authors of all-work, to job for the sea

son, No matter which party, so faithful to neither :Good hacks, who, if posed for a rhyme or a reason,

THE SLAVE Can manage, like *** to do without either. I HEARD, as I lay, a wailing sound,

“ He is dead-he is dead," the rumour flew; If in gaol, all the better for out o'-door topics ;

And I raised my chain, and turn'd me round, Your gaol is for trav’llers a charming retreat;

And ask'd, through the dungeon window," who 7" They can take a day's rule for a trip to the Tropics, And sail round the world, at their easc, in the Fleet. I saw my livid tormentors pass ;

Their grief 't was bliss to hear and see; For Dramatists, too, the most useful of schools

For never came joy to them, alas, They may study high life in the King's Bench

That did n't bring deadly bane to me. community : Aristotle could scarce keep them more within rules, Eager I look'd through the mist of night, And of place they're, at least, taught to stick to the And ask'd, “What foe of my race hath died ? unity.

Is it he-that Doubter of law and right,

Whom nothing but wrong could e'er decide
Any lady or gentleman come to an age
To have good “Reminiscences” (three-score, or "Who, long as he sees but wealth to win,
higher)

Hath never yet felt a qualm or doubt
Will meet with encouragement—so much, per page,
And the spelling and grammar both found by the
buyer.

1 This lady, in her Memoirs, also favours us with the ad

dress of those apothecaries who have, from time to time, No matter with what their remembrance is stock'd,

given her pills that agreed with her ;-always desiring thai

the pills should be ordered "comme pour elle." So they 'll only remember the quantum desired ;- 2 A gentleman, who distinguished himself by his evidence Enough to fill handsomely Two Volumes, oct.,

before the Irish Committees.

3 According to the common reading "quodcunque infun Price twenty-four shillings, is all that's required. dis, acercit."

assess it."

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