(While you hum the poor spoonies' with speeches, so | My eyes, how delightful!-the rabble well gagg'd, The Swells in high feather, and old Boney lagg'd!'

pretty,

'Bout Freedom, and Order, and--all my eye, Betty,)
Whether praying, or dressing, or dancing the hays,
Or lapping your congo2 at Lord C-STL-R-GH'S3
(While his Lordship, as usual, that very great dab1
At the flowers of rhet'ric, is flashing his gab3)—
Or holding State Dinners, to talk of the weather,
And cut up your mutton and Europe together!
Whatever your gammon, whatever your talk,
Oh deign, ye illustrious Cocks of the Walk,
To attend for a moment,-and if the Fine Arts
Of fibbing and boring" be dear to you: hearts;
If to level, to punish, to ruffianR mankind,
And to darken their daylights," be pleasures refined
(As they must be,) for every Legitimate mind,-
Oh, listen to one, who, both able and willing
To spread through creation the mysteries of milling,
(And, as to whose politics, search the world round,
Not a sturdier Pit-tite e'er lived under ground,)
Has thought of a plan, which-excuse his presump-

tion,

He hereby submits to your royal rumgumption.

It being now settled that emperors and kings,
Like kites made of foolscap, are high-flying things,
To whose tails a few millions of subjects, or so,
Have been tied in a string, to be whisk'd to and fro,
Just wherever it suits the said foolscap to go—
This being all settled, and freedom all gammon, 10
And nought but your honours worth wasting a d-n

on;

Yet as something may happen to kick up a breeze-
Some quarrel reserved for your own private picking-
Some grudge, even now in your great gizzards sticking,
(God knows about what-about money mayhap,
Or the Papists, or Dutch, or that kid,2 Master Nap)-
And, setting in case there should come such a rumpus,
As some mode of settling the chat we must compass,
With which the tag-rag3 will have nothing to do-
What think you, great Swells, of a ROYAL SET-TO?"
A Ring and fair fist-work at Aix-la-Chapelle,
Or at old Moulsey-Hurst, if you like it as well-
And that all may be fuir as to wind, weight, and
science,

I'll answer to train the whole HOLY ALLIANCE!

Just think, please your Majesties, how you'd prefer it
To mills such as Waterloo, where all the merit

To vulgar red-coated rapscallions must fall,

Who have no Right Divine to have merit at all!
How much more select your own quiet Set-tos!—
And how vastly genteeler 't will sound in the news,
(Kent's Weekly Despatch, that beats all others hollow
For Fancy transactions,) in terms such as follow:-

ACCOUNT OF THE GRAND SET-TO BE-
TWEEN LONG SANDY AND GEORGY THE
PORPUS.

LONG SANDY, by name of the Bear much renown'd,
And GEORGY the Porpus, prime glutton reckon'd-
Old thingummee POTTSO' was LONG SANDY's second,
And GEORGY's was Pat C-STL-R-GH,—he who

LAST Tuesday, at Moulsey, the Balance of Power While snug and secure you may now run your rigs," Was settled by Twelve Tightish Rounds, in an hourWithout fear that old Boney will bother your gigs-The Buffers, both "Boys of the Holy Ground;"—" As your Honours, too, bless you! though all of a trade, Yet agreeing like new ones, have lately been made Special constables o'er us, for keeping the peace,Let us hope now that wars and rumbustions will cease; That soldiers and guns, like "the Devil and his works,' Will henceforward be left to Jews, Negers, and Turks; Till Brown Bess12 shall soon, like Miss Tabitha Fusty, For want of a spark to go off with, grow rusty, And lobsters13 will lie such a drug upon hand, That our do-nothing Captains must all get japann'd!1

1 Simpletons, alias, Innocents.

2 Drinking your tea.

3 See the Appendix, No. 3.

4 An Adept.

5 Showing off his talk.-Better expressed, perhaps, by a late wit, who, upon being asked what was going on in the House of Commons, answered, "Only Lord C. airing his vocabulary."

6 All terms of the Fancy, and familiar to those who read the Transactions of the Pugilistic Society.

7 To close up their eyes-alias, to sew up their sees. 8 Tом received his first education in a coal-pit; from whence he has been honoured with the name of " the Black Diamond."

lives

At the sign of the King's Arms a-kimbo, and gives
His small beer about, with the air of a chap
Who believed himself a prodigious strong tap.
This being the first true Legitimate Match
Since Tom took to training these Swells for the
scratch,

Every lover of life, that had rhino to spare,
From sly little Moses to B-R-G, was there.

6 The hitch in the metre here was rendered necessary by

9 Gumption, or Rumgumption, comprehension, capacity. the quotation, which is from the celebrated Fancy Chant 10 Nonsense or humbug.

11 Play your tricks.

12 A soldier's fire-lock.

"To boil

13 Soldiers, from the colour of their clothes.
one's lobster means for a churchman to turn soldier; lob-
sters, which are of a bluish black, being made red by boil-
ing."-Grose. Butler's ingenious simile will occur to the
reader:

When, like a lobster boil'd, the Morn
From black to red began to turn.
14 Ordained-i. e. become clergymen.

ending, every verse, thus:

For we are the boys of the Holy Ground,
And we'll dance upon nothing, and turn us round!

It is almost needless to add, that the Holy Ground, or
Land, is a well-known region of St. Giles's.

7 Toм means, I presume, the celebrated diplomatist, Pozzo di Borgo.-The Irish used to claim the dancer Didelot as their countryman, insisting that the O had slipped out of its right place, and that his real name was Mr. O'Diddle On the same principle they will, perhaps, assert their righ to M. Pozzo.

Never since the renown'd days of BROUGHTON and | Being hack'd in the service, it seems had given way;

FIGG1

Was the Franciful World in such very prime twig-2
And long before daylight, gigs, rattlers, and prads,*
Were in motion for Moulsey, brimful of the Lads.
JACK ELD-N, Old SID. and some more, had come
down

brothers

And, as rope is an article much up in price
Since the bank took to hanging, the lads had to splice.
At length the two Swells having enter'd the Ring,
To the tune the Cow died of, called "God save the
King,"

2

Each threw up his castor' 'mid general huzzas— On the evening before, and put up at The Crown,-And, if dressing would do, never yet, since the days 'Their old favourite sign, where themselves and their When HUMPHRIES stood up to the Israelite's thumps, In gold-spangled stockings and touch-me-not pumps,' Has there any thing equall'd the fal-lals and tricks That bedizen'd old GEORGY's bang up tog and kicks!' Having first shaken daddles (to show, JACKSON said, It was "pro bono Pimlico" chiefly they bled) Both peel'd-but, on laying his Dandy belt by,

Get grubs at cheap rate, though it fleeces all others;
Nor matters it how we plebeians condemn,
As The Crown's always sure of its license from them.

"T was diverting to see, as one ogled around, How Corinthians and Commoners mixed on the Old GEORGY went floush, and his backers looked shy; For they saw, notwithstanding CRIB's honest en

ground.

Here M-NTR-SE and an Israelite met face to face,
The Duke, a place-hunter-the Jew, from Duke's
Place;

While NICKY V-NS-TT-T, not caring to roam,
Got
among the white-bag-men," and felt quite at home.

deavour

To train down the crummy," 't was monstrous as ever!
Not so with LONG SANDY-prime meat every inch-
Which, of course, made the Gnostics on t' other side
flinch;

Here stood in a corner, well screen'd from the wea- And Boв W-LS-N from Southwark, the gamest

ther,

Old SID. and the great Doctor EADY together,
Both famed on the walls-with a d-n, in addition,
Prefix'd to the name of the former Physician.
Here C-MD-N, who never till now was suspected
Of Fancy, or aught that is therewith connected,
Got close to a dealer in donkies, who eyed him,
Jack Scroggins remark'd, "just as if he'd have buy'd
him;"

While poor Bogy B-CK-GH-M well might look
pale,

As there stood a great Rat-catcher close to his tail!

Mongst the vehicles, too, which were many and va

rious,

From natty barouche down to buggy precarious,
We twigg'd more than one queerish sort of turn-out;-
C-NN-G came in a job, and then canter'd about
On a showy, but hot and unsound, bit of blood
(For a leader once meant, but cast off, as not good,)
Looking round to secure a snug place if he could :-
While ELD-N, long doubting between a grey nag
And a white one to mount, took his stand in a drag.
At a quarter past ten, by Pat C-STL-R-GH'S
tattler,'

CRIB came on the ground in a four-in-hand rattler;
(For Toм, since he took to these Holy Allies,
Is as tip-top a beau as all Bond-street supplies ;)
And, on seeing the CHAMPION, loud cries of "Fight,
fight,"

"Ring, ring," "Whip the Gemmen," were heard left
and right.

But the kids, though impatient, were doom'd to delay,
As the old P. C.1° ropes (which are now mark'd H.
A.")

chap there,

Was now heard to sing out "Ten to one on the Bear!"
FIRST ROUND. Very cautious-the Kiddies both
sparr'd

As if shy of the scratch-while the Porpus kept guard
O'er his beautiful mug as if fearing to hazard
One damaging touch in so dandy a mazzard.
Which t' other observing put in his ONE-Two10
Between GEORGY's left ribs, with a knuckle so true,
That had his heart lain in the right place, no doubt
But the Bears double-knock would have rummaged it
out-

As it was, Master GEORGY came souse with the whack,
And there sprawl'd, like a turtle turn'd queer on its
back.

SECOND ROUND. Rather sprightly-the Bear, in

high gig,

Took a fancy to flirt with the Porpus's wig;
And, had it been either a loose tie or bob,
He'd have claw'd it clean off, but 't was glued to his

nob.

So he tipp'd him a settler they call "a Spoil-Dandy"
Full plump in the whisker.- High betting on Sandy

1 Hat.

2 "The fine manly form of Humphries was seen to great advantage; he had on a pair of fine flannel drawers, white silk stockings, the clocks of which were spangled with gold, and pumps tied with ribbon."-(Account of the First Battle between Humphries and Mendoza.)-The epistle which Humphries wrote to a friend, communicating the result of this fight, is worthy of a Lacedæmonian.-"Sir, I have done the Jew, and am in good health. Rich. Humphries." cant words which Dekker cites, as "retaining a certain sal 3 Tog and kicks, coat and breeches.-Teg is one of the and tasting of some wit and learning," being derived from

the Latin toga.

4 Hands.

5 Mr. Jackson's residence is in Pimlico.-This gentleman (as be well deserves to be called, from the correctness of his conduct and the peculiar urbanity of his manners) forms that useful link between the amateurs and the professors of pugilism, which, when broken, it will be difficult, if not wholly impossible to replace. 6 Stripped. 7 Fat. 8 Knowing ones. 9 Face. 10 Two blows succeeding each other rapidly. Thus (speaking of Randall) "his ONE-TWO are put in with the sharpness of lightning."

66

THIRD ROUND. Somewhat slack-GEORGY tried to All pitied the patient-and loud exclamations, "My eyes!" and "my wig!" spoke the general sen sations

make play,

But his own victualling-office' stood much in the way;
While SANDY's long arms-long enough for a douse 'T was thought SANDY's soul was squeezed out of
All the way from Kamschatka to Johnny Groat's

head

(The part of LONG SANDY that's softest, 'tis said;
And the chat is that NAP, when he had him in tow,
Found his knowledge-box' always the first thing to
go)-

Neat milling this Round-what with clouts on the nob,
Home hits in the bread-basket, clicks in the gob,
And plumps in the daylights," a prettier treat
Between two Johnny Raws' 't is not easy to meet.

SIXTH ROUND. GEORGY's friends in high flourish
and hopes;

JACK ELD-N, with others, came close to the ropes-
And when GEORGY, one time, got the head of the Bear
Into Chancery2 ELD-N sung out "KEEP him there"
But the cull broke away, as he would from Lob's
pound,13

And, after a rum sort of ruffianing Round,
Like cronies they hugg'd, and came smack to the
ground;

Poor SANDY the undermost, smother'd and spread
Like a German tuck'd under his huge feather-bed!14

1 The stomach or paunch.

3 Hot cross buns.

2 Mouth.

his corpus,

So heavy the crush.-Two to one on the Porpus!

Nota bene.-'T was curious to see all the pigeons
Sent off by Jews, Flashmen, and other religions,
To office,' with all due despatch, through the air,
To the Bulls of the alley the fate of the Bear;
(For in these Fancy times, 't is your hits in the muns,
And your choppers and floorers, that govern the

Funds)

And Consols, which had been all day shy enough,
When 't was known in the Alley that Old Blue and
Buff

Had been down on the Bear, rose at once-up to
snuff!2

SEVENTH ROUND. Though hot-press'd, and as flat
as a crumpet,

LONG SANDY Show'd game again, scorning to rump it;
And, fixing his eye on the Porpus's snout,3
Which he knew that Adonis felt peery about,
By a feint, truly elegant, tipp'd him a punch in
The critical place, where he cupboards his luncheon,
Which knock'd all the rich Curacoa into cruds,
And doubled him up, like a bag of old duds!"
There he lay almost frummagem'd-every one said
'T was all Dicky with GEORGY, his mug hung so dead.
And 'twas only by calling "your wife, Sir, your wife!"
(As a man would cry "fire!") they could start him
to life.

Up he rose in a funk," lapp'd a toothful of brandy,
And to it again -Any odds upon SANDY.

EIGHTH ROUND. SANDY work'd like a first-rate demolisher:

Bear as he is, yet his lick is no polisher;

And, take him at ruffianing work (though in com-
mon, he

Hums about Peace and all that, like a Domine")
SANDY's the boy, if once to it they fall,

That will play up old gooseberry soon with them all.

4 "Some have censured shifting as an unmanly custom." This round was but short-after humouring awhile, -Boxiana.

5 Humbug or gammon.

6 Dead Men are Bakers-so called from the loaves falseThe following is ly charged to their master's customers. from an Account of the Battle fought by Nosworthy, the Baker, with Martin, the Jew:

"First round. Nosworthy, on the alert, planted a tremendous hit on Martin's mouth, which not only drawed forth a profusion of claret, but he went down.-Loud shouting from the Dead Men!

He proceeded to serve an ejectment, in style,
Upon GEORGY'S front grinders, which damaged his

smile

So completely that bets ran a hundred to ten
The Adonis would ne'er flash his ivory1o again—
And 't was pretty to see him roll'd round with the
shock,

"Second Round. Nosworthy began to serve the Jew in Like a cask of fresh blubber in old Greenland Dock! style, and his hits told most tremendously. Martin made a good round of it, but fell rather distressed. The Dead Men now opened their mouths wide, and loudly offered six to four on the Master of the Rolls!"

7 The head.

10 The eyes.

8 The stomach.
11 Novices.

9 The mouth.
of

12 Getting the head under the arm, for the fibbing.

purpose

13 A prison.-See Dr. Grey's explanation of this phrase in his notes upon Hudibras.

14 The Germans sleep between two beds: and it is related that an Irish traveller, upon finding a feather bed thus laid over him, took it into his head that the people slept in strata, one upon the other, and said to the attendant, "will you be good enough to tell the gentleman or lady that is to lie over me, to make haste, as I want to go asleep!"

NINTH ROUND. One of GEORGY's bright ogles' was put

Now, what say your Majesties?—is n't this prime?
Was there ever French Bulletin half so sublime?
Or could old NAP himself, in his glory,' have wish'd
To show up a fat Gemman more handsomely dish'd ?—
Oh, bless your great hearts, let them say what they
will,

On the bankruptcy list, with its shop-windows shut;
While the other soon made quite as tag-rag a show,
All rimm'd round with black, like the Courier in woe!
Much alarm was now seen 'mong the Israelite Kids,
And B--R--G,--the devil's own boy for the quids,'-Nothing's half so genteel as a regular Mill;
Despatch'd off a pigeon (the species, no doubt,
That they call B--R-G's stock-dove) with word "to

sell out."

From this to the finish 't was all fiddle faddle--
Poor GEORGY, at last, could scarce hold up his

daddle

With grinders dislodg'd and with peepers both poach'd,3

T was not till the Tenth Round his claret was
broach'd:

As the cellarage lay so deep down in the fat,
Like his old M- -a's purse, 't was cursed hard to

get at.

But a pelt in the smellers (too pretty to shun,
If the lad even could) set it going like fun;
And this being the first Royal Claret let flow,
Since Tom took the Holy Alliance in tow,
The uncorking produced much sensation about,
As bets had been flush on the first painted snout.
Nota bene.-A note was wing'd off to the Square,
Just to hint of this awful phlebotomy there;-
BOB GREGSON, Whose wit at such things is exceeding,
Inclosing a large sprig of "Love lies a bleeding!"

In short, not to dwell on each facer and fall,
Poor GEORGY was done up in no time at all,
And his spunkiest backers were forced to sing small.
In vain did they try to fig up the old lad;
"T was like using persuaders upon a dead prad;'
In vain Bogy1o B-CK-GH-M fondly besought him,
To show like himself, if not game at least bottom;
While M-RL-Y, that very great Count, stood de-
ploring

And, for settling of balances, all I know is,
"T is the way CALEB BALDWIN prefers settling his.2
As for backers, you 've lots of Big-wigs about Court,
That will back you-the raff being tired of that
sport,-

And if quids should be wanting to make the match
good,

There's B-R-NG, the Prince of Rag Rhino, who

stood

(T" other day, you know) bail for the seedy3 Right Liners :

Who knows but, if coax'd, he may shell out the
shiners ?+

The shiners! Lord, Lord, what a bounce do I say!
As if we could hope to have rags done away,
Or see any thing shining, while VAN. has the sway!

As to training, a Court's but a rum sort of station
To choose for that sober and chaste operation;5
For, as old IKEY PIG said of Courts, "by de
heavens,

8

Dey 're all, but the Fives Court, at sixes and sevens."
What with snoozing," high grubbing, and guzzling
like Cloe,

Your Majesties, pardon me, all get so doughy,
That take the whole kit, down from SANDY the Bear
To him who makes duds for the Virgin to wear,
I'd chuse but JACK SCROGGINS, and feel disappointed
If JACK did n't tell out the whole Lord's Anointed!

But, barring these natʼral defects (which, I feel,
My remarking on thus may be thought ungenteel,)
And allowing for delicate fams, which have merely
Been handling the sceptre, and that, too, but queerly,

He had n't taught GEORGY his new modes of boring:"I'm not without hopes, and would stand a tight bet,
All useless-no art can transmogrify truth—
It was plain the conceit was mill'd out of the youth.
In the Twelfth and Last Round SANDY fetch'd him
a downer,

That left him all's one as cold meat for the Crowner;12

On which the whole populace flash'd the white grin
Like a basket of chips, and poor GEORGY gave in :13
While the fiddlers (old POTTS having tipp'd them
bandy) 14

a
Play'd "Green grow the rushes,"
"15 in honour of

1 Eyes.

SANDY!

2 Money.

That I'll make something game of your Majesties yet.
Let us have a prime match of it, Greek against Greek,
So, say but the word-if you 're up to the freak,
And I'll put you on beef-steaks and sweating next
week-

While, for teaching you every perfection, that throws a
Renown upon milling-the tact of MENDOZA

3 French cant; Les yeux pochés au beurre noir.-See the usual tip; but Caleb, finding argufying the topic would the Dictionnaire Comique.

4 Blood.

5 The nose.

not do, instead of paying them in the new coinage, dealt out another sort of currency, and, although destitute of the

6 Some specimens of Mr. Gregson's lyrical talents are W. W. P. it had such an instantaneous effect upon the given in the Appendix, No. 4.

The charm, by which HUMPHRIES' contrived to | And all the lads look'd gay and bright,
And gin and genius flash'd about,

infuse

The three Graces themselves into all his One-Twos-And whosoe'er grew unpolite,
The nobbers of JOHNSON-BIG BEN'S' banging

brain-blows

The well-bred CHAMPION served him out.

The weaving of SAM,* that turn'd faces to rainbows-As we'd been summon'd thus to quaff

Old CORCORAN's click,' that laid customers flat-
PADDY RYAN from Dublin's renown'd "coup de
Pat;"

And My own improved method of tickling a rib,
You may always command-

Your devoted

APPENDIX.
No. I.

TOM CRIB.

Account of a Grand Pugilistic Meeting, held at BELCHER'S (Castle Tavern, Holborn,) TOM CRIB in the Chair, to take into consideration the propriety of sending Representatives of the Fancy to Congress.-Extracted from a letter written on the occasion by HARRY HARMER, the Hammerer, to NED PAINTER.

Αλλ' ουδεις το ΚΑΝ
Λείψει, έως αν

Τον ηχωδία ακουση Τη Μ.

LAST Friday night a bang-up set
Of milling blades at BELCHER's met;
All high-bred Heroes of the Ring,

Whose very gammon would delight one;
Who, nursed beneath The Fancy's wing,

Show all her feathers—but the white one.

Brave Toм, the CHAMPION, with an air
Almost Corinthian, took the Chair;
And kept the Coves in quiet tune,

By showing such a fist of mutton
As, on a Point of Order, soon

Would take the shine from Speaker SUTTON.

1 Humphries was called "The Gentleman Boxer." He was (says the author of Boxiana) remarkably graceful, and his attitudes were of the most elegant and impressive nature. 2 Tom Johnson, who, till his fight with Big Ben, was hailed as the Champion of England.

3 Ben Brain, alias Big Ben, wore the honours of the Championship till his death.

4 Dutch Sam, a hero, of whom all the lovers of the Fancy speak, as the Swedes do of Charles the Twelfth, with tears in their eyes.

5 Celebrated Irish pugilists.

6 So called in his double capacity of Boxer and Coppersmith.

7 The passage in Pindar, from which the following lines of "Hark, the merry Christ Church Bells," are evidently borrowed:

The devil a man,

Will leave his can,

Till he hears the Mighty Tom.

8 i. e. With the air, almost, of a man of rank and fashion. Indeed, according to Horace's notions of a peerage, Tom's claims to it are indisputable;

9 Fellows.

illum superare pugnis

Nobilem.

Our Deady' o'er some State affairs,
Of course we mix'd not with the raff,

But had the Sunday room, up stairs.
And when we well had sluiced our gobs,1
"Till all were in prime twig for chatter,
Toм rose, and to our learned nobs
Propounded thus the important matter:-

66 Gemmen," says he-Tom's words, you know
Come like his hitting, strong but slow-
"Seeing as how those Swells, that made
Old Boney quit the hammering trade
(All prime ones in their own conceit,)
Will shortly at THE CONGRESS meet-
(Some place that 's like THE FINISH,' lads,
Where all your high pedestrian pads,
That have been up and out all night,

Running their rigs among the rattlers,*
At morning meet, and—honour bright—
Agree to share the blunt and tattlers!")—
Seeing as how, I say, these Swells

Are soon to meet, by special summons,
To chime together like 'hell's bells,'

And laugh at all mankind as rum ones—

I see no reason, when such things
Are going on among these Kings,
Why We, who 're of the Fancy lay,"
As dead hands at a mill as they,
And quite as ready, after it,
To share the spoil and grab the bit,'
Should not be there to join the chat,
To see, at least, what fun they're at,
And help their Majesties to find
New modes of punishing mankind.
What say you, lads? is any spark
Among you ready for a lark

To this same Congress ?-CALEB, JOE,
BILL, BOB, what say you ?-yes or no?"
Thus spoke the CHAMPION, Prime of men,
And loud and long we cheer'd his prattle
With shouts, that thunder'd through the ken,
And made Tom's Sunday tea-things rattle!

A pause ensued-'till cries of "GREGSON"
Brought BOB, the Poet, on his legs soon--
(My eyes, how prettily BOB writes!

Talk of your Camels, Hogs, and Cruht,'^

1 Deady's gin, otherwise Deady's brilliant stark našeż. 2 Had drunk heartily.

3 A public-house in Covent-Garden, memorable as one of the places where the Gentlemen Depredators of the night (the Holy League of the Road) meet, early in the morning, for the purpose of sharing the spoil, and arranging other matters connected with their most Christian Alliance. 4 Robbing travellers in chaises, etc. 5 The money and watches.

6 Particular pursuit or enterprize. Thus, "he is on the kid-lay," i. e. stopping children with parcels and robbing them-the ken-crack-lay, house-breaking, etc. etc. 7 To seize the money.

8 A frolic or party of Pleasure.

9 House.

10 By this curious zoological assemblage (something like Berni's "porci, e poeti, e piddochi,") the writer means, T suppose, Messrs. Campbell, Crabbe, and Horg.