As e'er tread clay! And gratefully, my guid auld cockie, ROBERT BUrns. ON CAPTAIN GROSE'S PEREGRINATIONS THROUGH SCOTLAND, COLLECTING THE ANTIQUITIES OF THAT KINGDOM. Francis Grose was a broken-down English gentleman who, under the impulse of poverty, had been induced to exercise considerable literary and artistic talents for the benefit of the public. A large work on the Antiquities of England had been completed some years ago. He had also produced a treatise on Arms and Armour, another on Military Antiquities, and several minor works. The genius and social spirit of the man were scarcely more remarkable than his sonal figure, which was ludicrously squat and obese. Grose having made an inroad into Scotland, for the purpose of sketching and chronicling its antiquities, Burns met him at Friars' Carse, and was greatly amused by his aspect and conversation. The comic Muse also caught at the antiquarian enthusiasm as a proper subject. HEAR, Land o' Cakes, and brither Scots, per 1 Maidenkirk is an inversion of the name of Kirkmaiden, in Wigtonshire, the most southerly parish in Scotland. If there's a hole in a' your coats, I rede you tent it: advise give heed to A chiel's amang you taking notes, And, faith, he'll prent it. If in your bounds ye chance to light That's he, mark weel And wow! he has an unco slight plump knack By some auld houlet-haunted biggin, owl building Or kirk deserted by its riggin', It's ten to ane ye'll find him snug in Some eldritch part, Wi' deils, they say, Lord save's! colleaguin' At some black art. roof elfish Ilk ghaist that haunts auld ha' or chaumer, chamber Ye gipsy-gang that deal in glamour, necromancy And you deep-read in hell's black grammar, Warlocks and witches! Ye'll quake at his conjuring hammer, Ye midnight bitches. It's tauld he was a sodger bred, But now he's quat the spurtle blade,2 1 Chalk and red or black lead-pencil. fallen 2 A spurtle is a stick with which pottage, gruel, etc., are stirred when boiling; used here like "toasting-iron." And ta'en the And dog-skin wallet, Antiquarian trade, I think they call it. He has a fouth o' auld nick-nackets, tackets, A towmont guid; abundance keep shoe-nails twelvemonth And parritch-pats, and auld saut-backets, Before the Flood. Of Eve's first fire he has a cinder; A broomstick o' the witch of Endor, shovel Forbye, he'll shape you aff, fu' gleg, Besides - quickly The cut of Adam's philabeg; The knife that nicket Abel's craig, He'll prove you fully, It was a faulding jocteleg,1 Or lang-kail gully.2 neck 1 "Jocktaleg, a clasp-knife; Northumberland and Scotland. Probably from Jock of Liege. Liege formerly supplied Scotland with cutlery." Grose's Provincial Glossary. "The etymology of this word remained unknown till not many years ago, that an old knife was found, having this inscription Jacques de Liege, the name of the cutler. Thus it is in exact analogy with Andrea di Ferrara."— Lord Hailes. 2 A long knife for cutting coleworts. But wad ye see him in his glee, And port, O port! shine thou a wee, Now, by the powers o' verse and prose! I'd take the rascal by the nose, Wad say, Shame fa' thee. EPITAPH ON CAPTAIN GROSE, THE CELEBRATED ANTIQUARY. THE Devil got notice that GROSE was a-dying, So whip! at the summons, old Satan came flying; But when he approached where poor FRANCIS lay moaning, And saw each bedpost with its burden a-groaning, Astonished, confounded, cried Satan: "By I'll want 'im, ere I take such a damnable load." WRITTEN IN AN ENVELOPE, ENCLOSING A LETTER TO CAPTAIN GROSE. Professor Stewart having intimated to the poet a desire to see Grose, Burns sent a letter, notifying Stewart's wish, to his antiquarian friend. Not being very sure of the whereabouts of Grose, the bard enclosed his letter in an envelope addressed to Mr. Cardonnel, a brother antiquary, and containing a set of jocular verses in imitation of the quaint song of Sir John Malcolm. KEN ye ought o' Captain Grose? If he's amang his friends or foes? Is he to Abra'm's bosom gane? Or hauding Sarah by the wame? Is he south, or is he north? Igo and ago; Or drowned in the river Forth? Iram, coram, dago. |