and very speedily, have acquiesced and opened the gates. Our situations would, no doubt, have resembled those of the Florentines, when Charles the Eighth of France entered Italy. Guicciardini tells us, that, on the taking of some little paltry town, and slaughtering the garrison, all Italy was seized with trepidation; for, hitherto, the Italians had been accustomed to see wars carried on rather as pompous spectacles, than bloody fights. His words are: 'Lo presero per forza, et sacchegiarono, amazzando tutti i soldati forestieri che vi erano dentro, et molti degli habitatori cosa nuova, et di spavento grandissimo a Italia, gia lungo tempo assuefatta a vedere guerre piu presto belle di pompa, et di apparati, et quasi simili a spettacoli, che pericolose, et sanguinose.' But the present and the future soon predominated over the past in my mind. I had, in one moment, tumbled to the ground that edifice which had cost my father so many years of trouble and expense to raise. I was going to burst unexpectedly on my family, who, thinking I was still safely abiding at..., expected nothing less than to see my person, and hear, from my own, lips, what would seem to them the foulest disgrace and direst misfortune that could have befallen me. The view in perspective was no less gloomy: I was to exchange absolute and uncontrolled domination, which, now that I had lost it, seemed doubly sweet to me, for the most unqualified obedience, and the endurance of that kind of civil and quiet insolence, which, even in the best regulated families, is always the portion of any member who has gone astray, be it male or female. The nearer I drew towards home, the more agonized became my mind. At a town five miles from my father's house, I stopped, and wrote a letter full of the effusions of my heart at the time. It briefly informed him of what had happened, and, at full length, implored forgivenness, and execrated my folly and iniquity in having taken a step of such consequence without applying to him for counsel. This epistle I sent by a pastry cook, to whom I was well known, and who took his horse, and himself unfolded the business to my father and family, who had just returned from the 1 morning service, for it was Sunday. During my messenger's absence, I roamed up and. down the town, in a kind of stupid, indistinct despondency, till I was roused by the shrill tones of a poor woman imploring charity. I put my hand into my pocket, and, to my great mortification, found that fourpence was all my stock in the world; I gave it to the woman, not without many apologies for offering her so little; but I solemnly assured her it was all I had. The woman smiled at my simplicity and childish earnestness, thanked me, and proceeded to beg an alms of the next person she met. At length came a servant with a led horse for me. I mounted and rode towards home. I never shall forget, though it is impossible to describe, the emotions of my mind as I passed over those dreary five miles; they were a mixture of dread, of pride, of apprehension, of mortification, of regret, of sorrow, of rage, of anguish, of despair, all at different intervals sweeping through my soul, and rendering it the scene of inexpressible torment. I might then have said, with nearly as much truth as did Milton's hero, (I allude to an expression of Dryden, who called the devil Milton's hero,) Me miserable! which way shall I fly • Infinite wrath and Infinite despair? • Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell, But when I saw my father's little parsonage house my heart died within me, I felt it die.' I entered the room where the whole family was collected save my eldest brother, who was then at the university of Cambridge: a profound silence ensued, for my father had expressly ordered, that not a single person should presume to utter a word of reproach, or of complaint against me. May God Almighty reward him for this most judicious act of tenderness and mercy! Nothing was said; but the deep sorrow so legibly expressed on my blessed father's venerable countenance cut my heart in twain. I had armed myself against reproof, and waited for the bitterness of censure with a mixture of indignation and of defiance; but against 7 the mild forbearance of an excellent father, whom I had grievously offended, and whose soul was then writhing in agony, I had not armed myself, for I had not expected it, and all my stern resolves of unbending hardiness were dissolved in a flood of tears. My father expostulated gently with me on my conduct, and pointed out the impropriety of acting in such a manner without seeking advice from him, and called my attention to the evil consequences, with regard to my future welfare, which were likely to accrue from this step. These were points of view in which I had never beheld the transaction, and they served to redouble my sorrow. After a while, my mother, who, in spite of my father's prohibition, had at times said a few civil things to me, enquired, like a thorough ceconomist, into the state of my wardrobe, of which I informed her, and was given to understand, that, since I had distressed my . father in his circumstances, and made a beggar of myself, I must not think of going clad so expensively as I had hitherto done. This, and a few more gracious insinuations of the same kind, particularly a taunting |