It has been suggested, - lest that Church
Should all at once be left in the lurch
For want of reverend men endued
With this gift of never requiring food,
To try, by way of experiment, whether
There could n't be made of wood and
leather,2

(Howe'er the notion may sound chimerical,)

Jointed figures, not lay, but clerical,
Which, wound up carefully once a week,
Might just like parsons look and speak,
Nay even, if requisite, reason too,
As well as most Irish parsons do.

The experiment having succeeded quite, (Whereat those Lords must much delight, Who 've shown, by stopping the Church's food,

They think it is n't for her spiritual good To be served by parsons of flesh and blood,)

The Patentees of this new invention
Beg leave respectfully to mention,
They now are enabled to produce
An ample supply, for present use,
Of these reverend pieces of machinery,
Ready for vicarage, rectory, deanery,
Or any such-like post of skill

That wood and leather are fit to fill.

EPISTLE

FROM ERASMUS ON EARTH TO CICERO IN THE SHADES.

Southampton.

As 't is now, my dear Tully, some weeks since I started

By rail-road for earth, having vowed ere we parted

To drop you a line by the Dead-Letter post,

Just to say how I thrive in my new line of ghost,

And how deucedly odd this live world all appears,

To a man who 's been dead now for three hundred years,

I take up my pen, and with news of this earth

Hope to waken by turns both your spleen and your mirth.

That no mortal e'er yet got a glimpse of his head,)

4

And a Ganges which India would think somewhat fat for 't,

Unless 't was some full-grown Director had sat for 't;

Not to mention the et cæteras of Genii and Sphinxes,

Fame, Victory, and other such semi-clad minxes;

Sea Captains,5-the idols here most idolized;

And of whom some, alas! might too well be comprized

Among ready-made Saints, as they died cannonized;

With a multitude more of odd cockneyfied deities,

Shrined in such pomp that quite shock

ing to see it 't is;