ALL IN THE FAMILY WAY. A NEW PASTORAL BALLAD. (SUNG IN THE CHARACTER OF BRITANNIA.) "The Public Debt is due from ourselves to ourselves, and resolves itself into a Family Account. - Sir Robert Peel's Letter. Tune - My banks are all furnisht with bees. My banks are all furnisht with rags, So thick, even Freddy can't thin 'em; I've torn up my old money-bags, Having little or naught to put in 'em. My tradesmen are smashing by dozens, But this is all nothing, they say; For bankrupts since Adam are cousins, So, it's all in the family way. BALLAD FOR THE CAMBRIDGE ELECTION. "I authorized my Committee to take the step which they did, of proposing a fair comparison of strength, upon the understanding that whichever of the two should prove to be the weakest, should give way to the other."- Extract from Mr. W. J. Bankes's Letter to Mr. Goulbourn. BANKES is weak, and Goulbourn too, No one e'er the fact denied;Which is "weakest" of the two, Cambridge can alone decide. Choose between them, Cambridge, pray, Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. Goulbourn of the Pope afraid is, Bankes, as much afraid as he; Never yet did two old ladies On this point so well agree. Choose between them, Cambridge, pray, Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. Each a different mode pursues, Each the same conclusion reaches; Bankes is foolish in Reviews, Goulbourn foolish in his speeches. Choose between them, Cambridge, pray, Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. Each a different foe doth damn, When his own affairs have gone ill; Bankes he damneth Buckingham, Goulbourn damneth Dan O'Connell. Choose between them, Cambridge, pray, Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. Once we know a horse's neigh Fixt the election to a throne, So whichever first shall bray, Choose him, Cambridge, for thy own. Choose him, choose him by his bray, Thus elect him, Cambridge, pray. June, 1826. Sir,- Having just heard of the wonderful resurrection of Mr. Roger Dodsworth from under an avalanche, where he had remained, bien frappé, it seems, for the last 166 years, 1 hasten to impart to you a few reflections on the subject. Yours, etc. Laudator Temporis Acti. WHAT a lucky turn-up!- just as Eidon 's withdrawing, To find thus a gentleman, frozen in the year Sixteen hundred and sixty, who only wants thawing To serve for our times quite as well as the Peer; A MILLENNIUM at hand! —I'm delighted to hear it As matters both public and private now go, With multitudes round us all starving or near it, A good, rich Millennium will come à-propos. Only think, Master Fred, what delight to behold, Instead of thy bankrupt old City of A bran-new Jerusalem built all of gold, Sound bullion throughout from the roof to the flags A City where wine and cheap corn 2 shall abound A celestial Cocaigne on whose buttery shelves 1 This reverend gentleman distinguished himself at the Reading election. 2 "A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny." Rev. vi. A Millennium break out in the town of Armagh ! 5 3 See the oration of this reverend gentleman, where he describes the connubial joys of Paradise, and paints the angels hovering round "each happy fair." 4 When Whiston presented to Prince Eugene the Essay in which he attempted to connect his victories over the Turks with Revelation, the Prince is said to have replied, that "he was not aware he had ever had the honor of being known to St. John." 5 Mr. Dobbs was a member of the Irish Parliament, and, on all other subjects but the Millennium, a very sensible person: he chose Armagh as the scene of his Millennium, on account of the name Armageddon mentioned in Revelation. That if Eady should take the mad line, He'll be sure of a patient in Slop. Seven millions of Papists, no less, Doctor Southey attacks, like a Turk; 3 Doctor Eady, less bold, I confess, Attacks but his maid-of-all-work 4 Doctor Southey, for his grand attack, And truly, the law does so blunder, So much for the merits sublime (With whose catalogue ne'er should I stop) Of the three greatest lights of our time, Doctor Eady and Southey and Slop! Should you ask me, to which of the three Great Doctors the preference should fall, As a matter of course I agree Doctor Eady must go to the wall. But as Southey with laurels is crowned, 3 This seraphic doctor, in the preface to his last work ("Vindiciae Ecclesiæ Anglicana"), is pleased to anathematize not only all Catholics, but all advocates of Catholics: "They have for their immediate allies [he says] every faction that is banded against the State, every demagogue, every irreligious and seditious journalist, every open and every insidious enemy to Monarchy and to Christianity." 4 See the late accounts in the newspapers of the appearance of this gentleman at one of the Police-offices, in consequence of an alleged assault on his "maid-of-all-work." 5 A crown granted as a reward among the Romans to persons who performed any extraordinary exploits upon walls, such as scaling them, battering them, etc. No doubt, writing upon them, to the extent Dr. Eady does, would equally establish a claim to the honor. |