WE'RE told the ancient Roman nation Made use of spittle in lustration;1 (Vide" Lactantium ap. Gallæum " 2 i.e. you need not read but see 'em;) Now Irish Papists fact surprisingMake use of spittle in baptizing; Which proves them all, O'Finns, O'Fagans,

Connors and Tooles all downright Pagans.

This fact 's enough; - let no one tell us
To free such sad, salivous fellows.
No, no- the man, baptized with spittle,
Hath no truth in him- not a tittle!

That Napoleon's old mother's to marry the Pope,

What a comical pair!)— but, to stick to my Rout,

'T will be hard if some novelty can't be struck out.

3 See Mr. Murray's Advertisement about the Mail-Coach copies of "Rokeby."

- Lord! if he would but, in character, sup

(They're Christians and they know no better) 3

In some things they 're a thinking nation; And on Religious Toleration

1 Alluding, I suppose, to the Latin Advertisement of a lusus Naturæ in the Newspapers lately.

2 I have made many inquiries about this Persian gentleman, but can not satisfactorily ascertain who he is. From his notions of Religious Liberty, however, I conclude that he is an im

set me up!

in time to assist the Prince and Mr. Leckie in their new Oriental Plan of Reform.- See the second of these letters. - How Abdallah's epistle to Ispahan found its way into the Twopenny Post-Bag is more than I can pretend to account for.

3" C'est un honnête homme," said a Turkish governor of De Ruyter; "c'est grand dommage qu'il soit Chrétien."

95

I own I like their notions quite, They are so Persian and so right!

Such is our mild and tolerant way, We only curse them twice a day

Whom every pious Shiite flogs

Or longs to flog 2 — 't is true, they pray To God, but in an ill-bred way; With neither arms nor legs nor faces Stuck in their right, canonic places.3 'Tis true, they worship Ali's name Their heaven and ours are just the same(A Persian's Heaven is easily made, 'Tis but black eyes and lemonade.) Yet tho' we 've tried for centuries back We can't persuade this stubborn pack, By bastinadoes, screws or nippers, To wear the establisht pea-green slippers.5 Then, only think, the libertines! They wash their toes they comb their chins,6

With many more such deadly sins; And what's the worst, (tho' last I rank it)

Believe the Chapter of the Blanket!

1 Sunnites and Shiites are the two leading sects into which the Mahometan world is divided; and they have gone on cursing and persecuting each other, without any intermission, for about eleven hundred years. The Sunni is the established sect in Turkey, and the Shia in Persia; and the differences between them turn chiefly upon those important points, which our pious friend Abdallah, in the true spirit of Shiite Ascendency, reprobates in this Letter.

2 "Les Sunnites, qui étoient comme les Catholiques de Musulmanisme." - D'Herbelot.

3 "In contradistinction to the Sounis, who in their prayers cross their hands on the lower part of the breast, the Schiahs drop their arms in straight lines; and as the Sounis, at certain periods of the prayer, press their foreheads on the ground or carpet, the Schiahs," etc. - Forster's Voyage.

4 "Les Turcs ne détestent pas Ali réciproquement; au contraire, ils le reconnoissent," etc. Chardin.

5 "The Shiites wear green slippers, which the Sunnites consider as a great abomination." -Mariti.

6 For these points of difference, as well as for the Chapter of the Blanket, I must refer the reader (not having the book by me) to Picart's "Account of the Mahometan Sects."

And, far from torturing, only let
All orthodox believers beat 'em,
And twitch their beards where'er they
meet 'em.

As to the rest, they 're free to do Whate'er their fancy prompts them to, Provided they make nothing of it Towards rank or honor, power or profit; Which things we naturally expect, Belong to US, the Establisht sect, Who disbelieve (the Lord be thanked!) The aforesaid Chapter of the Blanket. The same mild views of Toleration Inspire, I find, this buttoned nation, Whose Papists (full as given to rogue, And only Sunnites with a brogue) Fare just as well, with all their fuss, As rascal Sunnites do with us.

Bring thy best lace, thou gay Philander, (That lace, like Harry Alexander, Too precious to be washt,) thy rings, Thy seals-in short, thy prettiest things! Put all thy wardrobe's glories on, And yield in frogs and fringe to none But the great Regent's self alone; Who by particular desire For that night only, means to hire A dress from Romeo Coates, Esquire.2 Hail, first of Actors! best of Regents! Born for each other's fond allegiance! Both gay Lotharios - both good dress

ers

Of serious Farce both learned Profes

sors

1 This Letter enclosed a Card for the Grand Fête on the 5th of February.

2 An amateur actor of much risible renown.
3 quem tu Melpomene semel
nascentem placido lumine, videris, etc.
HORAT.

The Man upon whom thou hast deigned to look funny,

Oh Tragedy's Muse! at the hour of his birth--Let them say what they will, that's the Man for my money,

Give others thy tears, but let me have thy mirth!

Both circled round, for use or show, With cock's combs, wheresoe'er they go! 4

Thou knowest the time, thou man of
lore!

It takes to chalk a ball-room floor-
Thou knowest the time, too, well-a-day!
It takes to dance that chalk away.5
The Ball-room opens- far and nigh
Comets and suns beneath us lie;
O'er snow-white moons and stars we
walk,

And the floor seems one sky of chalk!
But soon shall fade that bright deceit,
When many a maid, with busy feet
That sparkle in the lustre's ray,
O'er the white path shall bound and play
Like Nymphs along the Milky Way:
With every step a star hath fled,
And suns grow dim beneath their tread!
So passeth life (thus Scott would
write,

And spinsters read him with delight,). Hours are not feet, yet hours trip on, Time is not chalk, yet time 's soon gone! 6

But, hang this long digressive flight! I meant to say, thou 'It see that night What falsehood rankles in their hearts, Who say the Prince neglects the artsNeglects the arts? — no, Strahlweg,' no; Thy Cupids answer "'t is not so; " And every floor that night shall tell How quick thou daubest and how well. Shine as thou mayst in French vermilion, Thou 'rt best beneath a French cotillion; And still comest off, whate'er thy faults, With flying colors in a Waltz.

4 The crest of Mr. Coates, the very amusing amateur tragedian here alluded to, was a cock; and most profusely were his liveries, harness, etc. covered with this ornament.

5 To those who neither go to balls nor read The Morning Post, it may be necessary to mention, that the floors of Ball-rooms, in general, are chalked for safety and for ornament with various fanciful devices.

6 Hearts are not flint, yet flints are rent, Hearts are not steel, yet steel is bent. After all, however, Mr. Scott may well say to the Colonel, (and, indeed, to much better wags than the Colonel,) ῥᾷον μωμεῖσθαι ἡ μιμεῖσθαι.

7 A foreign artist much patronized by the Prince Regent.