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CHAP. X hangers, so there are some who think to insure commemoratio:
of themselves by paying for it. One rears himself a useless monument or leaves money to build it. Another welds his name to the philanthropy he founds or with his benefaction stipulates a memorial. The sage has no such childlike faith in the power of money, but realizes that he must leave to the unforced gratitude of his fellows the cherishing of his name and service.
Uncurbed, the passion to fix and greaten one's social image Pathology leads to such evils as pomp, ostentation, fashion, heart-burning, Mirrored jealousy, fawning, and tuft-hunting. It is a paradox that the Sell
mania to impress others may lead to the worst forms of antisocial conduct as when a king brings on a war for the sake of prestige, or a proprietor squeezes his tenants in order to make a splurge on the boulevards or a splash at Monte Carlo. Shakespeare has Coriolanus slaughter the Volscians just to vindicate himself as not a "boy of tears.” The scheming social climber sacrificing old friends and risking countless snubs in the hope of ultimate recognition by people of high position is about as social as a lizard; others interest her only as looking-glasses to reflect a pleasing image of herself. In the evil trinity religion bids us renounce, “the world, the flesh, and the devil,” the "world" stands for the faults that spring from solicitude for one's social image, such as worldly ambition, affectation, vanity, vainglory,
boastfulness, and arrogance. Spiritual Hygiene
The mirrored self is a poor thing to stake one's happiness on. Like one's image in a still pool one's pleasing reflection in the minds of others may vanish with a breath. Ambition, to be sure, may lift the sluggard from his bed, the clod from his rut, the sensualist from his sty; but it overstimulates the mettlesome while the sensitive fret themselves ill over their standing in the eyes of others. That is why "withdrawal from the world” has always found some favor among choice spirits. The woods, the sea, or
, the cell afford asylum from the sharp suggestions that prick the flanks of ambition. One wearied of perpetually scoring to keep his prestige alive, his credit from being smirched by jealous rivals, longs to quit the "world" at least for a season.
Professor Cooley observes :
To the impressible mind life is a theater of alarms and contentions, even when a phlegmatic person can see no cause for agitation - and to such a mind peace often seems the one thing fair and desirable,
so that the cloister or the forest, or the vessel on the lonesome sea, CHAP. X is the most grateful object of imagination. The imaginative self may be more battered, wounded, and strained by a striving, ambitious hie than the material body could be in a more visible battle, and its wounds are usually more lasting and draw more deeply upon the Tality. Mortification, resentment, jealousy, the fear of disgrace and ba:lure, sometimes even hope and elation, are exhausting passions; and it is after a severe experience of them that retirement seems most healing and desirable.15
A finer remedy is to quit the game without withdrawing from that common life which is, after all, the place for most of the work that is to better the world. Thus Thomas à Kempis exhurts: "Son, now I will teach thee the way of peace and of true liberty. ... Study to do another's will rather than thine own. Choose ever to have less rather than more. Seek ever the lower place and be subject to all; ever wish and pray that the will of God may be perfectly done in thee and in all. Behold such a man enters the bounds of peace and calm.” 16
Being less aggressive in their make-up, women as a rule are Sex Conmore dependent than men on their immediate social image. They Respecting
Dependare more sensitive to present attitudes, cannot live so well on
ence on the boarded corroboration, and slow down sooner when opinion sets against them. How much gifted women will accomplish depends quite as much on the measure of encouragement they receive as on the degree of freedom they enjoy. American women have done so well, not chiefly because they are freer than their sisters in other lands, but because none cheer a woman's achievement so generously as American men.
While boys are taken up with what they are doing, girls live much in their imagination of how they appear to others. They blu.h more readily, until the arrival of adolescence they are more bashful than boys, and their clothes consciousness is more acute. It is no such task to get a girl in her early teens to keep herself presentable as to get a boy to do so. The girl catches subtle shales in the personal attitude of others which the boy misses, is more subject to affectation, falls more readily into acting roles, will make greater sacrifices to convention, and lives more in terror of being " talked about." Women have too much divination to fail into certain egotistic attitudes common to men. Thus women **10p. cit., p. 220.
16 Quoted by Cooley, op. cit., p. 221.
are rarely pompous, and no one ever saw a woman strut. In mating the emotions of the sexes are not the same. "The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.” Woman's jealousy like her love is usually less physical in its object than man's. She is stung by the disloyalty of that intrigue with another which the average male resents as a trespass upon
property. In many ways society formally recognizes the value to one of his mirrored self. Damages for libel allow for the “mental anguish” of being brought into public contempt; for breach of promise to marry take into account the mortification of the jilted. Although the duel has been outlawed, insult not only goes a long way toward excusing violence but more and more it affords a ground of legal action, the German courts having gone farthest in this direction. It is contended that peaceful picketing does not exist, seeing that the pickets' tongue-lashing of the “scab" is a weapon of intimidation. The designating of workmen by numbers instead of their names is held to be intolerable. Many old punishments — such as stocks, pillory, cucking-stool, scarlet letter - assumed social sensitiveness in the culprit. Like tar and feathers, whipping at the cart's tail hurt spirit more than body, and ears were cropped not so much to pain the offender as to make him a butt. The teacher may discard rod for dunce's cap and at a certain point in the child's development the parent can punish harder by looks and words than by thwacking. Malicious prison keepers“ break” the more sensitive prisoners with indignities rather than hardships, while shrewd wardens offer the removal of stripes and numbers as an inducement to good conduct.
N the life of societies no phenomenon is more general, per- GRAP. D
: sistent, recurrent or frequent than domination. Not only has each social group brought adjacent social groups under its power so far as it could or dared, but each element within the group subjects other elements to its will so far as it can. The motive ? dominate is chiefly lust of exploitation, but it may also be love of mastery or the desire to extend a religion or a civilization. The chief types of domination are: Parents over offspring. Whenever by means of positive Parents
Dominato institutions or of ethical and religious ideas parents have been Their
Children able to retain their grown children subject to their will, most of them have done so. The pastoral life fosters patriarchal authority because (1) in quest of fresh pasture the family with its berds wanders away from the tribe and hence, for the sake of safety, it must become a compact unit under one-man direction; 2) there is economy in guarding and caring for the live stock of ETIWT sons in a single herd rather than in several small herds. However, China shows that agriculture is not at all incompatible with parent domination. By the constant stressing of filial piety 25 a virtue Chinese parents as a rule enjoy more authority and consideration than do parents in the West. Marriage, of course, draws their daughters into another family, but they count on the emings of their sons to keep them in their declining years. A
le lonk upon their sons as their old-age pension. I recall a Fochow teacher forty years of age, with a family, who turned arer his monthly salary check to his father as a matter of comman duty. Hence, in China the parents of many sons are congratulated and envied, while a boy baby is never drowned or sold, as a girl baby may be.
Perhaps this explains why there are more smooth brows, calm eyes and carefree faces among old men in China than among old men in America. Too often among us old age is clouded by the
CHAP. XI depressing sense of being shelved or being a burden. Chinese ethics gives the parent more claims and lays upon the grown sons more duties than our ethics. Coming on the up-curve of life, the duties are easy to bear, while, coming on the down-curve, the corresponding rights are a real solace. In a word, the added happiness to the old folks far outweighs the inconvenience to the
2. Old over young. Among many savage and barbarous Old Domi- tribes the elders gain a control over the young by maintaining
nate the Young
secret male societies to which the young are admitted by stages marked by awe-inspiring ceremonies. By this leverage numerous food taboos are imposed in the interest of the old men. In one tribe boys will be told that if they eat of forbidden food they will be struck by lightning. In another young men who eat the flesh or eggs of the emu believe that sores will appear all over the body. Elsewhere youths are assured that if prior to initiation they eat wild turkey, swans, geese, or black duck, or their eggs, their limbs will shrivel up. It is common to subject the young to a novitiate during which they turn over to the old the choicest kinds of food they find.
In the same way the old men monopolize the pretty girls while the only female available as a mate for the young man is an old widow or some cast-off hag discarded for a younger wife. Moreover, during a period of probation which may last some years, the youth may not look at a woman or even speak to one.
After the primitive stage the secret tribal societies yield to other forms of organization, but still the Old plot and scheme to hold in subjection the Young. In advanced societies we see the Elders trying to keep the Young under and retain in their own hands the control of social machinery. The Old urge their claim to the helm in the name of "reason," "experience," "record," "distinguished services," "safe and sane," while the Young charge their intrenchments crying "Old fogyism," "New blood,” "Inject ginger and energy," "Give others a chance." In clubs, churches, fraternal orders, joint stock companies, political parties, professional and commercial organizations, legislative bodies and government boards we see struggles involving the control by the "old crowd."
3. Husband over wife. Under the early maternal system of reckoning kinship the wife remained among her kinsfolk so that