THE Bristol Job Nott; No. VII.] WHAT NEXT? OR, LABOURING MAN'S FRIEND. Why, to tell you the truth, I can hardly ever answer the question, for Job's seldoin in the secret of what's coming, till Richardson calls for "copy," and then it must be supplied some how; by hook or by crook. It was said, I think, of the celebrated Addison, that he could draw for a thousand pounds when he hadn't a penny in his pocket; meaning that he could undertake a literary work upon trust, without any furniture or materials just at hand, relying upon the resources of his mind. This was a bold stroke, even for Addison; but what shall we say of Job Nott's rashness in undertaking to draw for a thousand pounds, not only without a penny in his pocket, but without any funds in the bank? For my part, I don't think the draft would have got credit in the market, if it hadn't been backed by Cousin Nehemiah, Poet Woodby, and the Doctor; and even as it is, I'm sadly afraid that when it comes to be presented at Richardson's some dull Thursday morning, 'twill be answered with "no effects." But to return to the subject, Job lives so entirely from hand to mouth, that 'tis This sort of accommodation system will do very well to bolster up literary credit; but if tradesmen will take a bit of good advice from Job Nott, let them beware of accommodation bills. Oh! how many have had to rue the day when they were let into this miserable scheme for raising the wind! Take my advice: rather call your creditors together, than ask for the accommodation of an indorsement; and rather burn your fingers off than give one. in vain to ask him, "What next?" However, the whole set. He accordingly sent away the though I can't answer the question, I can tell you woman with a peremptory refusal, telling her to that it's a very useful and profitable question to be go about her business, or else he'd have her clapasked; for it keeps the thing alive amazingly. ped up in Bridewell, under the swindling act Between ourselves, I don't think "Job Nott" However, the old lady knew better than to give up would sell half so well; I don't think that Richard- thus; so what does she do, but goes and burns son would sell a dozen where now he sells a hund-three more of the books, and then brings the rered, if it were not for that spirit-stirring little maining three, and offers them to Tarquin for the inquiry "what's next?" It's no new discovery-same money that she had before asked for the it's the grand secret of the News-shop. It was whole set. And, (will you believe it?) he bought this very thing that gave the newspapers such a them! Now, what was it that induced Tarquin to run in the town of Corinth. The people there had give the same money for three odd volumes which nothing else to do but to cry "what next," and he had refused to give for all the nine?-I answer the newsmen had plenty to do to manufacture news in one word: curiosity. The oddness of the wofor 'em. You can hardly think how the value of man's manner, and the gradual burning of the an article is raised by curiosity. I'll tell you a story books, set an edge upon the king's curiosity to about it. A long, long while ago, there was a king know what was in these mysterious volumes. And at Rome, and his name was Tarquin. One day an this is the great art of bookselling, pamphleteering, old woman came to him whose name was Sybilla; and news vending. A vain curiosity is leading the she was a sort of heathen prophetess or cunning great mass of the people into great extravagance. woman, who pretended to be possessed of very With the cry "what next" in their mouths, they deep mysteries; accordingly she brought nine run to the ale house to get a half-'porth of news, books to King Tarquin, and offered to sell them to and spend half-a-crown in guzzle whilst they are that 'twas an imposition, refused to give the money; man, and the "Might-against-Right" man, and him for a great sum of money. The king, thinking reading it. Then, there's the "Penny-Trash" upon which the old woman went and burned three all the harpies of the Poison Shop, holding out of the books, and then came back and offered the their baits and feeding the appetite for something six remaining volumes for the same money that new. she had before asked for the nine. The king was posed a bit at this, and felt rather more inclined to give the money than he had been before; however, he thought over it, and considered what a very great sum it was to give for six books; and that it would look foolish to give the money for six volumes, when he had refused the same money for Then, like as gin drinkers are only the more thirsty the more they drink; so the thirst of curiosity is only the more excited and increased by the very means used to gratify it; and still they cry "what next?"-"what next?" Now, when we consider what an intense eagerness, what a craving appetite is thus excited; and when, on the other hand, we look at the nature of the food that me, And now, my honoured friends and worthy cus is daily provided for it by a licentious press, we | Notwithstanding the example of America, and the freest, as well as the happiest, of the human race; can't wonder if the people read themselves stark more dreadful example of France, I find the emis- and above all, to warn them against the arts of saries of the republican faction, (for such they really those ambitious and perfidious demagogues, who mad. If, instead of eating good plain wholesome are) still preaching fanaticism and infidelity-still would willingly reduce them to a level with the meat and vegetables, and drinking Adam's ale, or exerting all their nefarious ingenuity in sapping cheated slaves, in the bearing of whose yoke I three half-penny small, we were to live upon no- the foundation of the Church and the Throne.- have had the mortification to share." Those who want experience of the consequences, thing but the highest seasoned ragouts, full of may, for aught I know, be excused for conniving cayenne, 'ticing each mouthful down with burning at these attempts; but, for me, who have seen hot India pickles; and, if when we found our dulent than forgery or coining; for me, who have tomers, can you guess who wrote the above? Did acts, passed by a republican legislature, more frauthroats and stomachs on fire, we made it a constant seen republican officers of state offering their you think that it was Job Nott that was giving way habit to swallow a glass of brandy, and wash it country for sale for a few thousand dollars; for to such a burst of indignation against Jacobinism, down with another; and if we were to go on with felons, and felons become republican judges; for to the skies, and declaring Englishmen, to be who have seen republican judges become and sporting high Tory, and praising up Mr. Pitt this salamander fare, day after day, and month me to fold my hands and tamely listen to the "the freest and happiest of the human race," and after month, what state d'ye think our constitutions insolent eulogists of republican governments and talking about the degrading consequences of Did would be in? And isn't it the same with respect ciple, a dastardly desertion of duty. rulers, would be a shameful abandonment of prin- discontent, disloyalty, and innovation?" you think this was Job's language? Oh no, no, to the food of the mind? If, instead of good, use- "It is with no small mortification that I find too no! Job durst not venture to tell you that you ful, and profitable reading, the people's minds are many of the periodical publications (as well are free! Job durst not venture to breath such pamphlets as papers) in the hands of fanatics and a sentiment as that you are not an oppressed peocontinually heated and fired by the most exciting infidels; all of whom, however numerous their ple! Job durst not even tell you that however good newspapers and pamphlets, stuffed full of scandal-mongrel sects, however opposite their tenets, Republicanism may be for America, it isn't good ous falsehoods, gross exaggerations, caustic sar- however hateful their persons to each other, do for England, because Englishmen have something most cordially unite in their enmity to the national better! Still less could Job venture to assert, that casms, and the whole spiced up with demoniacal establishment, and most zealously co-operate for its an Established Church is necessary to the mainwit, what can be expected, but that they will be destruction. Convinced as I am, from the experi- tenance of religion and morality; no! but the man goaded into madness, and be ready to commit all ence of America, as well as from history in general, that has said, and written and published all this, that an established Church is absolutely necessary is no other than the notorious William Cobbett'; manner of excesses, to the uprooting of society? to the existence of religion and morality; con- yes, that same Wm. Cobbett, who is now so busy Now, if Job Nott could extinguish this fever of vinced also, that the Church of England, while in sowing the seeds of republicanism all over the curiosity, he would willingly do so; but seeing this she is an ornament, an honour, and a blessing to country! Don't think my friends, that Job has the nation, is the principal pillar of the throne: forgotten himself and turned party man, and is impossible, the next best thing that can be done I trust I never shall be base enough to decline a plunged into politics. No! but when this same is to endeavour to alter the diet. Like as if you combat with her enemies, whether they approach William Cobbett is sending down his inflammatory wanted to reclaim a dram drinker, perhaps, you me in the lank locks of the sectary or the scald crop trash to this city, stirring up the people to disaffection of the jacobin. and discontent; when this man and his jackall troop wouldn't call upon him to give up all cordials at "I hold it to be the duty of men in power to of yelping auxiliaries are dinning into our ears that once, but would try to find out some harmless employ the pen as well as the sword in defence of we are an oppressed people, and thus stimulating stimulant as a substitute—a glass of ginger beer, therefore, I hope to yield some trifling support to the it is necessary to have recourse to some means of the government committed to their charge; if, the labouring classes to outrage and violence, surely for instance, merely to keep the stomach in order; ministry, it is not because I have received, or ever checking the infection of such principles. And just so Job Nott doesn't expect to persuade the shall receive, any gratification at their hands; but like as the fat of the viper, is said to be the best men who are now intoxicating their minds every to the virtues of his Majesty, and the general we may extract from Cobbett himself an antidote because I am most sincerely persuaded, that, next remedy for the bite of that venemous reptile, so day with high-spiced political purl—to leave off loyalty of his subjects, this country owes its pre- against his own jacobinical and revolutionary senall exciting subjects, and come down at once to servation to the wisdom and integrity of Mr. Pitt, timents. It is with this view, that I exhibit to and his colleagues. you Cobbett versus Cobbett. I would contrast the publications of the religious Tract Society"The subjects of a British King, like the sons of his present views and opinions with those which but he is trying to supply them with some literary every provident and tender father, never know his he promulgated in the year 1800-the date of the And let it be "Pop" that may act as a gentle stimulant and pacify value till they feel the want of his protection. above extraordinary document. In the days of youth, and of ignorance, I was led carefully noted, that he did not write the above in squeamish stomachs. to believe that comfort, freedom, and virtue, were the character of a raw inexperienced novice, no, exclusively the lot of republicans. A very short but he declares that he had been made a convert trial convinced me of my error, admonished me to to those views by experience, and by the evidence repent of my folly, and urged me to compensate of his senses; by what he had seen with his own "Having, in America, witnessed the fatal effects for the injustice of the opinions I had conceived. eyes-by what had come within his own personal of Revolution; having seen piety give place to a During an eight years' absence from my country, knowledge; that he had learnt the nature and contempt of religion, plain dealing exchanged for I was not an unconcerned spectator of her perils; tendency of republicanism upon republican soil; shuffling and fraud, universal confidence for uni- nor did I listen, in silence, to the slanders of her that he had consequently repented of the errors of versal suspicion and distrust; having seen a coun- enemies. Though divided from England by the his youth, and thought it a duty which he owed to try, once the seat of peace and good neighbourhood, ocean,-though her gay fields were hidden, per- his country to recant them, as the best and only torn to pieces by faction, plunged, by intriguing haps for ever, from my view, still her happiness reparation he could make for the jacobinical docdemagogues, into never-ceasing hatred and strife; and her glory were the objects of my constant trines which he had previously disseminated! having seen a people, once too fond of what they solicitude; I rejoiced at her victories, and mourned With respect to the party sentiments of the called Liberty to bear the gentle sway of a British for her defeats; her friends were my friends, and above quotation, I have little to say-valeant quoád King, humbly bend their necks to the yoke, nay, her foes were my foes. Once more returned; valere possunt, let 'em fetch their price in the marto the very foot, of a set of grovelling despots; once more under the safeguard of that Sovereign ket. Tisn't my business to defend Cobbett's having, in short, seen the crime of rebellion against who watched over me in my infancy, and the want Toryism, any more than 'tis my business to apomonarchy punished by the tormenting, the de- of whose protecting arm I have so long had occa- logise for his jacobinism. But doubtless, the grading curse of republicanism, it is with the ut- sion to lament, I feel an irresistible desire to com- fundamental principles of the extract, are based on most astonishment and indignation that I find many municate to my countrymen the fruit of my expe- immutable truth, and will maintain their ground of those, who have the press at their command, rience; to show them the injurious and degrading in defiance of all the rage and malice of all the endeavouring to bring down on my native country consequences of discontentment, disloyalty, and infidels and jacobins in the world. How such a the very same species of calamity and disgrace. innovation; to convince them, that they are the spark of wisdom could be struck off from such an UNBOUGHT TESTIMONY. intellect as Cobbett's, it is not for me to say. But pert airs? as though 'twere of any consequence his own. He doth not rave, but pray; not swear whatever were the flint of necessity or the spur which way such a little senseless head as thine were and curse, but bless; not strive to cut throats for of occasion, that struck off this scintillation of turned !"" Fair and softly, friend, (replied the his own self-will, but to subdue his own heart first wisdom from the cranium of William Cobbett, 'tis weathercock somewhat nettled) "surely I've got to the will of God, and to soften the hearts of others certain that this spark of truth will live when the as much right to turn as you have, and the same by temperance of conduct, kindness of reason, and cranium from which it was struck off shall be laid reason too, for you do but turn with the wind, and purity of life. "And who is he that will harm in the grave or shall have found its way as an so do I." "I beg your pardon, friend weather- you, if ye be followers of that which is good?-but invaluable curiosity to the cabinet of the cranio- cock, (rejoined the fan, recovering himself a little if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye; logist, to be employed in demonstrating the deve- from his testy mood) and if you'll be advised by and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troulopement of the bumps of a thorough-paced dema- me, mayhap 'twill be for your advantage; depend bled; but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts. gogue. Yes, the principles which, whether through upon it there's a wide difference between you and inadvertence or under the benign influence of a me, for you turn only for turning's sake; on the transient gleam of good feeling, Cobbett permitted contrary, I never turn but when there's grist brought his pen to record, shall live when Cobbett's dust to the mill." shall be mingled with that of his fovourite Tom Paine, and when the grocer in Chick Alley shall THE REAL CHRISTIAN his GOVERNMENT.-Extracted from Serle's Chris- The word of God is the Christian's rule of politics; and not the false, fanciful, ignorant, and impracticable speculations of men who know not their own hearts, and who, deriving all from their own stock, or aiming like Belial to live without yoke, cannot have true wisdom or grace, and conseWhatever principles, temper, and conduct cannot be "sanctified by the word of God and prayer" are absolutely unholy to a Christian, and strictly to be avoided, as he values his eternal salvation. 'TIS ALL GAMMON! A certain noted legal character has said, "I country will be able to read Bacon."* hope to see the time when every poor man in the It would be much more to the purpose, says Cobbett, "if he could give every poor man in the country the means of eating Bacon." But certainly Cobbett has the best of it; if any Now, we may truly say that this is "all gammon." man doubts it, let the experiment be tried. Let the learned Lord go round the parish from door to bett follow after with his pork gammon, and see door, and offer his literary gammon; and let Cobwhich will be most gratefully received, and most easily digested. have wrapped the pennyworth of cheese in the last Is conscientiously a dutiful subject to the KING and quently cannot truly and really govern themselves. surviving page of Cobbett's jacobinical writings. But, mind, in saying this, I speak of the general principles of the above extract-as far as there is anything of party-spirit in the thing, Job Nott has He that said "fear God," immediately added, nothing to do with it, still less would Job sanction as one evident proof of the reality of his godly fear the application of the offensive terms which are "honour the King."-Being chief magistrate, the introduced into the above document. These are King is God's first temporal minister, who is to to be attributed to the man, not the principles. bear the sword of justice and judgment, "for the Truth could not pass through the pen of William punishment of evil-doers, and for the praise of Cobbett, without contracting some taint of illi- them that do well." The Christian then, living berality-without being mixed with the gall of like a Christian, has no just cause to fear a wound. bitterness, and the venom of invective. Truth We are commanded by God to reverence those could not be painted by such a limner without her who act under the King for these ends; how fair white vestment being soiled by the dirty pencil much more then are we bound to regard himself! that was employed to depict her! I would willingly and if the Christian be concerned for his country, have left out the hard words and party-language, he cannot be unconcerned for his sovereign, who but that I might have subjected myself to the is more deeply interested in its welfare than any charge of giving garbled extracts; and therefore 1 other man. have only omitted one short sentence in which the The Christian prays publicly and privately for prevailing principles of the present day are de- his king, for his family, and for all that are put in nounced in language so unmeasured that I thought authority under him-It is his wisdom, interest, it better to expunge it. Besides, it is my object principle, and duty thus to pray; because their Every poor man read Bacon's Philosophy!! to exhibit a full length portrait of Cobbett as he prosperity is not only connected with his own, but was in his best days, in order that my readers their downfall would occasion the worst of hazards do 'em if they could? If they are to have full Pshaw! pack o'stuff. And what good would it may place it beside the daily exhibited picture of to millions of people. He who countenances strife bellies, it must be by having plenty of work; and Cobbett as he is, and putting both together may and sedition, can no more be a true and benevo- then what time will there be for 'em to read Bahave a finished full-length portrait of A TURNCOAT. lent Christian than a real patriot and subject; for con? and if they have plenty o' time to read Bacon, To enter upon a discussion of the political prin- by these confusion, rebellion, rapine, and murder, why then they'll have no work and empty bellies; ciples contained in the above extract, would be may overspread a land, to the general destruction, and then I wonder whether reading Bacon will quite beside my purpose; and would exceed the and to the reproachful hindrance of all godliness length of my tether; but I have thought it right to and piety. I can find examples of pardon for the keep 'em contented! I should think in that case print this remarkable document, as transmitted to most atrocious private sins in the bible, but I do they'd better read Job. Mind, I don't mean Bristol Job; though, perhaps, he'd do better on an me by a correspondent, just to shew to my readers the not recollect one instance of God's mercy extendcharacter of the man who is undertaking to regulate ing to the public crime of Rebellion. Possibly empty stomach than philosophical Bacon; no, nor I don't mean Birmingham Job, great reand direct the political and moral principles of the the reason is, because rebellion is an aggregate age in which we live. And I would ask what are evil, inducing and involving every other wickedness, spect as I have for my honoured father's writings; no, but I mean the Scripture Job, the God-father the opinions of such a man worth? are they worth and is precisely that offence which ruined the fallen of us all. I am quite serious in this. When I the poor man's penny which might be spent in buy- angels, and through them brought all misery and read of the great lawyer's hope that he should see ing bread for his hungry family? or are they worth mischief into the present world, as well as occa-the time when every poor man would be able to the paper that they blot, or the pack thread with sioned the irreparable sorrows of eternity. read Bacon; and of course, have Bacon to read. to read. which they are stitched?-above all, are they worth A true Christian values private, public, and re-I could not but reflect upon the infinitely wiser the precious time that is consumed in reading them?ligious peace at too high a rate, ever to sacrifice it and far more practicable desire of the venerated But perhaps you'll say, what can induce a man thus to the caprice and suspicions of selfish parties and George III. that every poor man in this kingdom to turn with the wind, and by proclaiming every worldly politicians. Corrupt as the world now is, should be able to read the BIBLE, and have a Bible change in his fickle mind, to trumpet to the world he is thankful for the civil and religious liberty he his own folly and shame? To this question the enjoys, esteeming it a wonderful providence to him only answer I can give is,—that's best known to as a Briton above almost all other men; and therehimself. fore he is not captious and querulous that goTHE WINDMILL & THE WEATHERCOCK: vernors are frail mortals, like himself, and so cannot possibly please every one, nor be absolutely perfect in all things. A. FABLE. a In cases of real oppression the Christian hath better God to go to than his own passions, or the violences of sinful men, or the evil god of this evil world, who kindles those passions and violences by As the fan of a windmill was going its laborious round, it happened to catch sight of a weathercock that was placed on the top of a neighbouring suinmer-house, and which was turning about with every little variation of the wind, as if mocking the windmill. "You little, paltry, contemptible, turncoat *The above has been inserted at the request of a coxcomb, (said the fan) what are you at, mimick-subscriber.A few sentences have been altered in ing me, turning when I tura, and affecting such conformity with another edition of Serle. There was but one defect in this pious wish. The good King should have desired that his people might have Bibles to read, be able to read, and willing to read them. For, alas! it by no means follows that because men have Bibles, and can read, that therefore they will read the Bible. Since the time when George III. expressed that wish, hundreds of thousands of Bibles have been circulated in these islands, and hundreds of thousands of labouring people have been taught to read. But do they read the Bible? I can't believe that all the Bibles that are circulated are read, or * A great Philosopher of that name. then?" surely we should see better fruit. We have a great if he sips it once or twice, like gin, it produces a belief in revelation and in a future state can do many Bible-giving, Bible-selling, and Bible-lending societies. Oh for a few Bible-reading societies. craving appetite for more, and after a while the us no harm. It gives us great pleasure in the expectation, and what if it should be true? then Let every man form a Bible-reading society in his deadly effects of the slow poison are visible. Dis-how wise shall we prove to have been in choosing own house, by calling his family together twice content, sulkiness, sabbath breaking, scoffing, the good part! On the other hand, you must (or at least once) a-day, and reading a chapter to hatred of the laws, of kings, magistrates, and all confess that you get nothing now, by your infithem; and if 'tis prayed over, 'twill be better didelity; that its a very miserable prospect to think gested. Depend upon't this will do 'em more superiors are among the first symptoms. With the of perishing like the brutes! and what if the bible good than all the philosophy in Bacon's book, or help of a poisonous innoculation from Mr. Wakley, should be true? what will become of you infidels all the gammon on Cobbett's cratch. and a huge hot republican blister, the poor unhappy victim grows delirious, and is ready to run into any excess of riot. "I was well, took physic, and died," was the short epitaph of a gentleman who attempted unwisely to reform a good constitution. But those who take MORAL POISON are seized with a kind of hydrophobia as dangerous to others as it is fatal to themselves. When a poor person shews an eager desire to get a Bible; and when he has got it, lets it lie neglected on the shelf, it looks to me as if he thought the having the book in his house was to operate as a charm, like the horse-shoe on the threshold of the door, to keep the Witch out. POISON INCIDENTALLY ITS OWN Dear Cousin, I Jem turned upon his heel and went back into the Red Lion, and Thomas went on towards his church, blessing and praising God for the comfort he enjoyed in the knowledge of divine truth, and lifting up a prayer in behalf of his unhappy neighbour. The clergyman's text that day was, "The wicked is driven away in his wickedness, but the righteous hath hope in his death." CORRESPONDENCE. Job Nott acknowledges with thanks the kindness of those friends who have left little books and tracts for him at the Publishers. Such contributions are very acceptable-but the kind donors will not expect to see the contents of the said books transferred bodily to the columns of the Labouring Man's Friend." This would be obviously impracticable; but all their mass of materials will be put into Job Nott's meshing tub; and, when duly concocted and fermented and worked off, it will be served out in good wholesome, brisk three-half-p'orths to Job's honoured customers. There is a very good law which requires medicine venders to write the word POISON on every deleterious drug they sell. The political poisons Your exposure of the poison shop reminds me are sold contrary to law, and in defiance of it. But of an accident, that had well nigh proved fatal do wish it were at least possible to compel the to the landlady with whom I lodged some years venders of them to write upon the poor man's ago, before I had the great blessing of a good wife weekly dose, (which Judas-like comes forth under and other little blessings that I have now. My the name of wholesome medicine) its true characlandlady, (and a worthy good soul she was) when ter and description, large and legible-ATHEISM, ailing one day, sent to the nearest apothecary's shop BLASPHEMY, and TREASON. If any man should A country friend objects to the mention of 12s. for a phial of Dr. Abernethy's black draught. then be foolish and wicked enough to take it, he a week as the price of labour, alleging, that it is The apothecary was an upstart, who had just set would do so in full view of the gallows, and of the impossible to give labourers in the country more than 9s.; and that the very mention of 12s. may up shop, and put an ominous blue-light in his broad road that leadeth to destruction. make them discontented. But let it be remembered window, but knew little or nothing of his trade. Yours affectionately, that Job has got two sorts of customers to serve, and The poor woman had no sooner swallowed the NEHEMIAH. that the gentlemen of the city wouldn't like to have their merits so undervalued, as to be put down to contents of the phial than her ears began to tin- [It seems that the excessive dose of laudanum 98. a week. Besides, when the extra expences of a gle, and a deadly paleness overspread her counte-administered to my good cousin's landlady operated city life are considered, and especially when the as an emetic, and saved the patient. This is rather weekly contributions to political clubs, and trade Nature quickly rejected the poisonous an encouraging view of the subject, for certainly unions which city habits require are taken into condraught, for it proved to be an ounce of laudanum, unless John Bull's stomach is as strong as a horse's sideration, it is probable that 12s. in the city is not which the ignorant apothecary had neglected to the phials upon phials of moral poison with which more than 9s. in the country. However, as Job is the political quacks are drenching him must cause the friend of labouring men both in town and counlabel, and his bungling shop-boy had served out the patient to nauseate and reject it. J. N.] try, I will just observe, that the price of a bushel of After a few days illness she recovered. Now, druggists are allowed to sell poisons, because laudanun is a great soother of pain; and arsenic, besides its uses in the pharmacopeia, is useful for killing rats; and fox-glove and the deadly nightshade are very good things in skilful hands; but only destruction to soul and body can come of taking a weekly potion of infidelity and nance. to her. sedition. THE CASE FAIRLY STATED. Poor un wheat used to be the wages of an agricultural labourer; and 'tis plain that the country labourers pay must be in a great measure regulated by the As Thomas Steadfast was going to church one price of wheat; and, therefore, the town labourers Sunday morning, dressed in his best coat, close should take care lest by unreasonable clamours after shaved, and clean as any gentleman need be, just the cheap loaf, they take the bread out of the mouths as he was going by the Red Lion public house, out of their country brethren, and in the end, out of came James Cavil in his every-day dress, all grease their own, for if agriculture doesn't go on well, and smut, and his leather apron on. trade can't flourish.-" Live and let live," should happy Jem shewed, too clearly, by his eyes and mo gait, that he had been having an extra pot of purl. Job Nott is sorry that he can't insert friend "Well Tom, (said James Cavil,) where beest thou.. Matter-o'-fact's" very kind communication, but The labouring man, in the simplicity of his heart going tricked out in thy best?" "Going? (says the "fact" is, that the matter wont exactly do Thomas,) why going to church, to be sure, as every just now. steps into a shop to ask for a pennyworth or two good christian should. Where should I go on vice, and to join in the singing, and make the reTo go to church, and to attend to the serof politics, and some news and chit-chat, to while God's day, but to the house of God?" "Pack o'stuff, sponses, are exceedingly desirable things to be enaway the time of a winter's evening. They serve (said Jem Cavil, sneering !) So, I suppose you forced, and nobody is more anxious to enforce them him out a black draught, prepared and sold by Cob- expect to be raised again after you're dead and than Job Nott; but he's afraid 'twould be thought buried, and turned to dust; perhaps, you may be too much in the preaching style. Besides, what is hett, Carlile, Taylor, & Co. on both sides of the raised in the shape of a good crop of grass; but, said about sticking to Mr. Plainspeech and not way as you go to the Fleet, and Newgate; also by that's the only rising that I expect." heartily sorry to hear thee talk so, (replied Thomas running after Mr. Fine-tropes, the strange preacher, Hetherington, in Clerkenwell, and composed of the Steadfast!) For my part, I wouldn't for all the might be liable to be misunderstood. poisonous ingredients before-mentioned, mixed up world give up the comfortable blessed hope of Bristol: Printed and Published by J. & W. RICHARDwith some acid of ridicule, and plenty of the po-me of my hope? Even upon your own infidel prinAnd why should you try to rob pular essential oil of "gull." If nature rejects the ciple Jem, you can't but admit that we believers dose at once, it is well indeed for the patient; but have the best side of the question, because the a future state. "I'm SON, No. 6, Clare-Street, to whose care all communications may be addressed, post paid; also sold by J. NORTON, Corn-Street, and J. CHILCOTT, Wine-Street. Bristol Job Nott; No. VIII.] OR, LABOURING MAN'S FRIEND. JOB NOTT TURNS REVIEWER. Well! if you don't like to take things upon trust, and swallow 'em down without knowing what they're made of, I can't blame ye for that; you shall have your way. Stand by, then, whilst take the cover off; and just hold the basin whilst Job handles the skimmer. ing line, is that most popular little publcation, THE BLACK LIST. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1832. [Price 14d only be attained by one pen in the universe, and proclaims the author Satan! Yes, yes; no one that ever read any of Satan's productions can he sitate for a moment. But you'll ask what could induce this writer to take up such a subject? Is Satan so violent a reformer? May be not. But, mark ye! I'll let you into a bit of a secret. The author and the publisher of a work haven't always the same object. The publisher has generally one main object in view, and that is to get money; and this is the most charitable construction that we can put upon Chubb's part of this business, namely, that he did it to get money, and didn't so much care what he printed, or who was his employer, provided he could get an honest penny. This may account for the publisher's concern in the business. But, then, as to the motives of the royal editor; why, we can't expect to be fully in the secret of kings; but rumours are afloat, and conjecture is printing! Never was such a thing done by mere Titan's heaped Pelion upon Ossa, when they wanted man. The celebrated Baron Munchausen carried to scale and insult the heavens; I say, all this Perhaps some of Job's readers may not know the art to the utmost power of human invention; condensation of falsehood, all this accumulation of what a Reviewer is; and therefore Í begin by but he only came up to about a dozen lies in a falsehood, all this sublimity of falsehood, could saying, that a Reviewer is a sort of Book-taster; page, and here are at least 200 in one page! why, a man who saves people the trouble of reading it couldn't be done even by steam. Cobbett's books themselves, by reading 'em over for them, high pressure engine couldn't do it! and Chubb and just telling them the short of it; giving them pretend to it? I tell ye, 'tis the biggest lie of all the cream of the thing, as a body may say, or the to pretend it. Don't be deceived; depend upon scum on't, just as the case may be. Now Job has it there's somebody behind the scenes. The author taken a fancy to turn Reviewer; and a very pretty is incog. and that's it that makes the thing sell so. kettle o' broth it is that he's going to try his hand But I'll drag him out, and expose the whole busiupon; plenty o' scum, I'll promise ye; so just ness. Well, then, keep your ears open, and I'll open your mouths, and shut you eyes, and stop tell you all about it. The fact is, as I said before, your noses, and be ready. that Chubb is only an agent; and that this publication is discovered to have been printed at a GOVERNMENT PRESS; and is strongly suspected to have come from a ROYAL PEN. You start! but these are times when truth must be told at all hazards; and therefore I repeat, that there is strong ground to believe that the thing was written by To have done with figures of speech, I now pro- King SATAN, and printed by Beelzebub and Co., at ceed to inform you that the work which Job has the Pandemonium Gazette Office; and that Chubb selected to make his first essay upon in the review-only lent his name, as being a London publisher, at work; and on the whole, I think we may take to give currency to the thing, it being well known the following as a pretty correct account of the that nothing that isn't printed in London can pass motives which influenced Satan in putting forth muster; and therefore, even the product of the this exquisite little production; namely, that Now, if I were satisfied with only just doing as Pandemonium press is obliged to be sent up to he did it, partly from mere pride of authorship, common reviewers do, I should think it sufficient obtain the imprimatur of a London bookseller! with a view to present to the British nation a speto introduce the article thus: New Publication. But this, by the way. I have just disclosed to you a very cimen of the perfection of the black art-a chef "THE BLACK LIST, being the Annual amount of great secret; and you'll be more and more con-d'œuvre of the first master; partly that it might pickings of the Peers and their families who voted vinced of the truth of it the more closely you in-serve for a copy for his English scholars to write against the Reform Bill in the House of Lords, on spect the document itself. For only look at the after; but chiefly, (if report says true) he composed Saturday, Oct. 8, 1831. Printed, pub.ished, and face of the thing; look at the letter press, how the thing with a view to settle a question that has compiled by W. P. Chubb, and sold at the London black, how exceeding black! can you believe 'twas been much debated in the literary circles in PanSpy Office." This is all the account of the origin ever done by human means? by common types and demonium, viz. "Whether the British nation be of the publication that appears above the surface; common ink, and the hand of man? Oh no, no! or be not the most gullible people upon earth?” and unsuspecting people may be so simple as to 'tis plain 'twas done at the Pandemonium press, (To be continued.) think that the thing was really done by this said where the types are all cut in dragon's teeth, and Chubb; and that there was no other object in view the ink is made of the black mire of the Stygian than to excite the rage of the people against the Lake, mixed with the gall of asps, and the venom Lords, who voted against a certain bill; (mind, of adders; and the press is worked by real devils; Every body that knows any thing about the early we've got nothing to do with politics. I shan't there and there only could this literary gem, this history of old Job Nott of Birmingham, knows say a word but what an honest Whig may and will diamond edition of the jacobin's directory have been that he had the good fortune to be put apprentice approve of as much as the highest Tory in the produced. Chubb has got nothing to do with it, to a very worthy old buckle maker,—as merry an land; in short, I am not going to take a political, but to sell it and get his commission.-I say that an old prig as ever wore a pig-tail. His wife too, but merely a moral and philological view of this there's such external proof as might convince any as Job testifies, was an exceeding good kind of publication). I say again; plain, unsuspecting competent judge of the origin of the thing; but woman; but they didn't quite agree either upon people may fancy that 'tis all fair and above board when we come to examine the work itself, the in- religion or politics, he being a churchman and and that the thing was really done by Chubb: but Job ternal evidences of its origin are overwhelming-she a dissenter-He one of the Conservatives and happens to know a thing or two about this precious Cobbett himself might as well attempt to disguise she a bit of a Rad-but mum for that-only I just literary gem. Job happens to know something of his style. You might as well try to persuade me mention it to account for what I'm going to tell the secret history of the publication. Job happens that William Cobbett isn't the author of the you; namely, that the old gentleman and lady to know that Chubb didn't do the thing of himself; Register that bears his name, as try to persuade used to have some mifs now and then, and the old that he's only an agent in the work. Why, I defy me that any other but Satan dictated the Black gentleman would occasionally pass a joke upon any mortal man to do such a thing by his own na-List; the very style and manner of the thing, the Mary," which wasn't quite right; she being of tural wit and powers of invention! I'll defy any grandeur of the conception, the multiplication, a testy temper, he should have avoided every thing mortal man by his own unassisted wit to bring so the conglomeration, the exacervation, (as a body to chafe and irritate her, but however, 'twasn't in many lies into so small a compass! Why, there might say to speak plainly) the cumulative exacer- the old buckle maker's nature to keep in a jest ; are more lies in the thing than there are lines of vation of lies, the heaping lies upon lies as the whatever was uppermost, out it came. Well I ON EMIGRATION. |