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resist the devil, the world, and the flesh, and wisdom to perceive the snares they lay for my feet. I want a spirit of prayer and supplication, and relish for the word of God, which of late has been a dead letter unto me. In fine, I want the image of Christ stamped on my soul, his will done in me and by me, and the comfort of knowing assuredly that I am now savingly united to him, and that nothing shall ever be able to pluck me out of his hand.
I spread these wants before the Lord this morning, and solemnly gave up myself to him, accepted of Jesus as my only Saviour, and besought the Lord to fulfil my requests in his own time. I found after this much peace in my soul, and was enabled to perceive the work of God there, and to rejoice in his goodness. I went to church in expectation of farther manifestations; but when there I fell into a cold careless frame, and heard little of the sermon; and was unaffected by the amazing scene of love displayed before my eyes in the broken body and shed blood of Jesus. I went to the table in a stupid frame; was confused and distressed with several outward things, that drew off my attention. I did, however, endeavour to receive the elements as pledges of the dying love of Jesus, as the seal of the new and everlasting covenant; and viewed it as the one great sacrifice offered up once for all for the sins of many.
Glory be to God for any thing I have this day seen of his love, or of my own interest in the great salvation purchased with the precious blood of a crucified Saviour! When I look back upon my sins, and inward upon my ungrateful heart, how astonishing is this love that still follows me with mercy, and bears with my repeated backslidings, still saying, as in Jer. iii. 1. "Return again to me, saith the Lord. O who
HER SPIRITUAL WANTS.
is a God like unto our God, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgressions of his people? yea, he multiplies pardons." O that from this time forward he would take possession of my heart, and manifest his power in me, by subduing my iniquities, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Lord, speak the word, and it shall be done. O transform me by the renewing of my mind, and let me henceforth live to thy honour while here, and at length behold thy glory in thy kingdom! Amen and Amen!
A melancholy event occurs in the course of building Lady Glenorchy's Chapel in Edinburgh-Lady Glenorchy much affected thereby-Extract from Diary, and correspondence between Lady Glenorchy and Mr Walker on the subject of the accident-Lady Glenorchy anxious to keep her heart right with God—Extracts from Diary—Difficulty of drawing the line with respect to Christians mingling with the worldTwo admirable letters of Mr Walker's, on conformity to the world.
and the archifrom its lofty
To this teralludes in her
LADY GLENORCHY was by no means given to superstition; but a very melancholy event took place at this time, which would have made a perplexing as well as distressing impression on any ordinary mind. On Wednesday the 18th of August, by a most unpardonable neglect of the workmen, the scaffolding in her chapel, which was building, gave way, tect and his foreman were precipitated roof to the floor, and killed on the spot. rible accident her Ladyship indirectly annual recollections on her birth-day. This incident gave occasion to an interesting correspondence between her and Mr Walker, which will be found in the following pages. In the close of which with great address, he intimates his fears that she exceeded in her liberality, and might encroach on her capital; in which, however, he was completely mistaken, as she always took care that her expenses should be below her income.
[Aged 32.] September 2.-This being the anniversary of the day of my birth into this evil world, I would endeavour, according to custom, to record the present state of my soul, and recount the mercies of the Lord through the past year. But, alas! how painful is the task! Innumerable are the mercies received; inexpressible the ingratitude and folly of my backsliding heart, which seems to be hardened by prosperity. In the month of October last, the Lord allowed me to cause the foundation of a house to be laid, intended for the honour of his great name, in Edinburgh. Soon after which, he permitted a sore and grievous trial to come upon me, of a nature that tended to humble me in my own eyes, and bring down my proud heart to the dust. Thus was I kept from being puffed up, or elated with the work carrying on. This year also he has honoured me as the instrument of preparing a habitation for a minister at Strathfillan, where the people are destitute of the means of grace. A plan is also laid for sending missionaries through the Highlands, and several others of a like nature are in forwardness. What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits? What can I say? I am vile, exceeding vile. My life has been a course of backsliding for a great while past. I have not followed on to know the Lord. I have gone too much into worldly company, in the hope of gaining them. I am led away with every gust of temptation, into behaviour unbecoming the gospel. I am not sufficiently serious, nor holy in my conversation. The world has got in upon me. The cares of this life, and many outward things, distract and divert my thoughts from the Lord. Sometimes I am permitted to cry for help, and God hears and answers my prayers, and for a short season I get power over my corruption: at such times I
am happy, but too soon I yield again unto temptation, and all my peace is gone. In this fluctuating state I have been for many months struggling with unbelief, darkness, and sin, especially with the vanities of the world, which once had the possession of my heart, and would afresh regain their former throne. I feel the workings of pride and self-conceit more strongly than ever. I cannot conceive any thing more infinitely vile than my heart in every respect. I can perceive no mark of grace in me, but that of a spirit within striving against this self, accusing it to God, and seeking for strength to overcome it. Surely this must be the new nature warring against the old. I will therefore take comfort, and hope for a final victory over my spiritual foes; and while I wonder and stand amazed at the long-suffering patience that has spared me for many years in this sinful state, and still follows me with mercy, may I now offer up my soul, body, and spirit, a living sacrifice to God, and devote the remaining hours and days of my life to his glory: and I would now in thy presence, O gracious Jehovah! with all the solemnity and sincerity of which I am capable, embrace the offer grace and salvation in Christ Jesus. I do renounce all claim to life eternal in any way but through thy free and glorious grace, manifested, by the appointment of thy beloved Son, to be a propitiation for sin, through the shedding of whose blood I look for the remission of all my sins. sins. I desire to be washed, justified, and sanctified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by thy Spirit. I acknowledge that my life is forfeited to thy justice. I now seek it back as thy free gift in the way thou hast appointed. I confess that since I knew the way of salvation, I have sinned against both mercy and light; and if thou shouldest enter into judgment with me, I could not stand in thy sight. I can, there