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cent room only twenty feet by fifteen! Several large spiders plumped down in terror from the roof, with broken suspension-gear, on the Leading Article -ind the mouse I have tamed, so that he will nibble a crumb out of our Troydefending right-hand, leapt off the green table in trepidation, as if scared by a visionary grimalkin. But are you as difficult to please, James, with faces as with voices ?

SHEPIIERD.

Ten times waur. There's no ae man's face amang a hunder that I can thole. It's no features, though they're bad aneuch in general, but the expression that makes me skunner. There are four kinds o' expression mair especially odious-conçate, cunning, malice, and hypocrisy-and you would wonder how prevalent they are in a Christian country. First, Conçate. The cretur's face smirks, and smiles, and salutes you, and seems doing justice to your genius. You are put aff your guard, and think him agreeable. But a' at aince, the expression glowers on you, and you see it's concate. The cauldrifed cretur has never read a word o' the Queen's Wake in his days, and is pawtroneezin' the Shepherd. He nods when you speak, and cries Ha! ha! ha! as if you wanted the encouragement o' him, and the like o' him and asks you, aiblins, to twa-three potawtoes and a poached egg smoored in speenage at sooper, to meet half-a-dozen auld women, a writer oʻsharawds, and some misses wi' albums. That's the concated face.

NORTH.

SHEPHERD.

Ex-editors of defunct magazines and journals-briefless advocates, with some small sinecure office-authors of pamphlets about canals, rail-roads, and gas-lights, and phrenologers.

Ay, and mony mair beside. Second, Cunning. You canna get a steady look o' his een, and only the whites o' them are visible. He's aye wivk, winkin', and turning awa his face, and puing his hat ower his broos. About five minutes after you hae answered a question, he refers to your answer, as if he had taen it doon in short han', although at the time he never seemed to heed or hear't-and puts constructions upon wee bit senseless words, that served to eke out a sentence into grammar--and draws conclusions as to your political, and religious, and moral opinions, frae sic downright havers as a man generally speaks in a forenoon in the chop. As for his ain opinions-na, na--he'll no let them out-and after askin' you a hundred ill-mannered questions, he pretends to be dull o' hearin' when you spier the simplest ane at him, or else changes the discourse, or bamboozles you wi' a vocabulary o mere words, or comes out wi' the biggest brazen-faced lee that ever crawleil across a table. A' the while-oh, man! the face o' him looks cunnin', cunnin' --and I could just spit in't, when I think sic treatment possible frae man to

That's the cunnin' face.

man,

NORTH

Malice?

SHEPHERD.

The corners o' the mouth drawn doon, sae that the mouth is a curve or a crescent. When he lauchs, there's nae noise, and a kind o' toss o' his head. The brow just aboon his een's wrinkled—no furrowed, for only the nobler passions plough—but swarmin' wi' beggarly wrinkles-a restless, sneerin', and red ee, a wee blude-shot, gayen piercin', but noo and than wi' a feared look, and never happy. The nose o' him raither hyuckit, and aften a drap at the neb o't; for he's nae that weel, and subject io headaches. He shakes hauns wi' you as if you had the plague; and as for his ain haun, it's cauld and clammy as a bunch o' cawndle-dowps. The hail countenance is sickly and cadaverous ; and if I'm no mista'en, his breath has a bad smell ; for malice has aye a weak digestion, and the puir yellow deevil's aften sick, sick.

Hypocrisy, James ?

A smooth, smug, oily plysiognomy, wi' lang, lank, black hair. The cheeks never muve, nae mair than gin they were Isroads; and there is a preceese sedateness about the mouth, that wadna be sie very ugly if you didna ken it Vo... XIX,

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SHEPHERD.

was a' put on for some end, and contrairy to the laws of nature. It maun be contrairy to the laws o' nature to haud fast the lips of your mouth like them o'a vice in a smiddy ; for the mouth is formed to be aye openin' and shuttin' again, and there's a thoosand opportunities for baith in the coorse o' a day eatin', drinkin', talkin', lauchin', smilin', yawnin', gapin', 'starin' wi’ your mouth open at a strange-lookin' chiel, or ony ither phenomenon, waitin' foi onybody gaun to speak, catchin' flees, girnin', breathin', and sleepin', waukin', or hafflins and atween the twa, hearkening to a sermon; in short, I scarcely ken when your mouth sudna be either wide or a wee open, savin' and exceptin’ when you gang into the dookin' and try the divin'.

Hark, hark, James--you have overrun the scent-the hypocrite has stole away.-Tallyho, tallyho-yonder he goes, all in black, round the corner o' the kirk.

NORTII.

SHEPII ERD.

NORTH.

SIIEPHERD.

NORTH

His een are aften a licht grey, like that o'a twa-days-pooked grozet-and afraid they may

be seen through ; look at him, lo, he half closes them, as if he were aye praying, or gaun to pray, and then lifts them up, wi' a slaw shake or whawmel o''the head-lifts them up audaciously to Heaven.

Excuse exterior, James-he is probably a pure-minded, pure-living man.

He pure leevin'-the clarty cretur! Just soomin' in the sensuality o’ane and a'o' the appeteets! O mán! gin ye but saw him eatin'! The fat o' hens comes oozing through his cheeks—and the cheek-banes, or the jaw-banes, I never could mak out which, make a regular jointlike clunk every mouthfu' he devoors. He helps himself at ither folk's tables, wi' a lang airm, to the sappiest dishes and never ca's on the lass for ! .ead. He's nae bread-eater, 'nor potawtóes either--naithin' but flesh will satisfy the carnal chiel within him and afore he's half done denner, whát wi'cleanin' his han's on't, and what wi’ dichtin' his creeshy gab, the towel athort his thees is a' crumpled up like a nicht-cap frae an auld gentleman's pow that wears powther and pomatum. James--James-remember where you are--no coarseness.

SHEPHERD. Then to see him sittin'a' the time beside the verra bonniest bitlassie in a' the pairty ! Leanin' his great, broad, yellow, sweaty cheeks, within an inch of her innocent carnations ! Sweet simple girl—she thinks him thé holiest o' menand is blind anıl deaf to his brutalities. O save the lintwhite frae the hoolet's nest! But the puir bouny boardin'-school lassie has siller-a hantle o'sillerthousands o' poun’s, aiblins five or sax-and in twa-three years ye see her walkin' by her lane, wi' a girlish face, but white and sorrowful, leadin' a tode dlin' bairn in her hand, and anither visible aneath her breast, nae husband near her, to gie her his arm in that condition-nae decent servant lass to help her wi' the wean-but quite her 'lane, no very weel dressed, and careless careless, speakin' to nane she meets, and saunterin' wi' a 'sair heart down the unfrequented lanes, and awa' into a field to sit down on the ditch-side weepin', while her wee boy is chasing the butterflies among the flowers.

Look at Tickler and Mullion yonder-playing at backgammon !

Safe us--sae they are ! Weel, do ye ken, I never ance heard the rattlin' o' the dice the haill time we were speakin'. You was sae enterteenan, Mr North --sae elequent-sae philosophical.

NORTH

SHEPHERD).

MULLION.

That's twa ggeins, Mr Tickler. Hurra, hurra; liurra !

SHEPHERD. Od, man, Mullion, to hear ye hurrain' that gate, ane wald think ye had never won onything a' your lifetime afore. When you hae been coortin', did ye never hear a saft laigh voice saying, “ Do ay ?” "And did you get up, and wave your han' that way roun' your head, and cry, Hurra, hurra, hurra, like a Don Cossack?

MULLION.

SHEPHERD).

Do not cut me up any more, to-night, James—let us be good friends. I beg pardon for snoring yestreen-forgive me, or I must go for your satire is terrible.

You're a capital clever chiel, Mullion. I was just tryin' to see what effec severity o' manner and sarcasm wud hae upon you, and I'm content wi' the result o' the experiment. You see, Mr North, there's Mullion, and there's millions of Mullions in the warld, whenever he sees me frichtened for him, or modest like, which is my natural disposition, he rins in upon me like a terrier gaun to pu'a badger. That's a' I get by actin' on the defensive. Sometimes, therefore, as just noo, I change my tactics, and at him open-mouthed, tooth anl nail, down wi' him, and worry him, as if I were a grew and him a bit leveret. That keeps him quate for the rest o'the nicht, and then the Shep, herd can tak his swing without let or interruption.

I have not lost a game at backgammon these five years !

What a lee! The tailor o'Yarrow Ford dang ye a' to bits, baith at gammon and the dambrod, that day I grupped the sawmont wi' the wee midge-flee. You were perfectly black in the face wi' anger at the boddy—but he had real scientific genius in him by the gift o' nature the tailor oʻYarrow Ford, and could rin up three columns o' feegures at a time, no wi' his finger on the sclate, but just in his mind's ee, like George Bidder, or the American laddie Colburn.

TICKLER.

SHEPHERD.

NORTH

SHEPHERD.

NORTH

Gaming is not a vice, then, in the country, James ?

There's little or nae sic thing as gamblin' in the kintra, sir. You'll fin'a pack o' cairds in mony o'the houses—but no in them a'--for some gude fathers o' families think them the deevil's buiks, and sure aneuch when ower muckle read they begin to smell o' sulphur and Satan,

Why, James, how can old people, a little dim-eyed or so, while an occae sional evening away better than at an innocent and cheerful game at cards ?

SHEPHERD. Haud your haun' a wee, Mr North. I'm no saying onything to the reverse. But I was sayin' that there are heads o’ families that abhor cairds, and would half-kill their sons and daughters were they to bring a pack into the house, Neither you nor me wull blame them for sic savin' prejudice. The austere Calvinistic spirit canna thole to think that the knave o' spades should be lying within twa three inches o' the Bible. The aulil stern man wud as soon forgie the introduction into the house o' base ballads o' sinfu' love and wishes that the precincts be pure o' his ain fire-side. Though I take a ggem o' whust now and then mysel, yet I boo to the principle, and I venerate the adherence till’t in the high-souled patriarchs of the Covenant.

Perhaps such strict morality is scarcely practicable in our present condition.

NORTH.

SHEPHERD.

What, do you mainteen that cairds are absolutely necessary in a puir man's house ? Tuts! As for auld dim-eyed people, few o' them, except they be blin' a'thegither, that canna read big prent wi' powerfu' specs, and they can aye get, at the warst, some bit wee idle De to read out aloud to its grannies, without expense o' oil or cawnel, by the heartsome ingle-light. You'll generally fin' thatauld folk that plays caírds, have been raither freevolous, and no muckle addicked to thocht-unless they're greedy, and play for the pool, which is fearsome in auld age; for what need they care for twa three brass penny-pieces, for ony ither purpose than to buy nails for their coffin?

NORTH. You push the argument rather far, James.

SHEPHERD.

SITEPHERD.

Na, sir. Avarice is a failing o' auld age sure aneuch—and shouldna be fed by the Lang Ten. I'm aye somewhat sad when I see folk o eighty haudin' up the trumps to their rheumy een, and shaking their heads, whether they wul or no, ower a gude and a bad haun alike. Then, safe on us ! only think o' therr cheatin'--revokin'- and marking mair than they ought wi the counters !

NORTI. The picture is strongly colourel ; but could you not paint another less revolting, nay, absolutely pleasant, nor violate the truth of nature ?

I'm no quite sure. Perhaps I micht. In anither condition oʻlife-in towns, and among folk o' a higher rank, I dinna deny that I hae seen auld leddies playing cards very composcdly, and without appearin' to be doin' onything that's wrang. Before you judge richtly oʻouy ae thing in domestic life, you maun understan' the hail constitution - o' the economy. Noo, auld leddies in towns dress somewhat richly and superbly, wi’ ribbons, and laces, and jewels even, and

caps munted wi' flowers and feathers; and I'm no blamin' them-and then they dine out, and gang to routes, and gie dinners and routes in return, back to hunders o' their friends and acquaintance. Noo, wi' sic a style and fashion o' life as that, caird-playing seems to be somewhat accordant, if taken in moderation, and as a quiet pastime, and no made a trade o', or profession, for sake o'filthy lacre. I grant it harmless ; and gin it maks the auld leildies happy, what richt hae I to mint ony objections ? God bless them, man; far be it frac me to curtail the resources o' auld age. Let them play on, and all I wish is, they may never lose either their temper, their money, nor their natural rest.

And I say God bless you, James, for your sentiments do honour to huma

NORTH.

nity.

SHEPHERD.

NORTH.

As for young folks--als and lassés, like--when the guileman and his wife are gaen to bed, what's the harm in a ggem at cairds ? It's a chearfu', noisy sicht o' comfort and confusion. Sic luckin' into ane anither's haun's ! Sic fause shufflin'! Sic unfair dealin'! Sic winkin' to tell your pairtner that ye hae the king or the ace! And when that wunna do, sic kickin' o 'shins and treadin' on taes aneath the table--aften the wrang anes! Then down wi' your haun'o' cairds in a clash on the broad, because you've ane ower few, and the coof maun lose his deal! Then what gigglin' amang the lasses ! Wliat amicable, nay, love-quarrels, between pairtners ! Jokin', and jeestin' and tauntin', and toozlin'--the cawne blawn out, and the soun'o'a thousan' kisses ! That's caird-playing in the kintra, Mr North ; and whare's the man amang ye that wull daur to say that it's no a pleasant pastime o’a winter's nicht, when the snaw is cumin' doon the luin, or the speat's roarin amang the mirk mountains?

Wilkie himself, James, is no more than your equal.

O man, Mr North, sir, my heart is wae—my soul's sick-and my spirit's wrathfu', to think o'thae places in great cities which they ca'-Hells !

Thank Heaven, my dear James, that I never was a gambler-nor, except once, to see the thing, ever in a Hell. But it was a stupid and passionless night-a place of mean misery—altogether unworthy of its name.

I'm glad you never went back, and that the deevil was in the dumps ; for they say that some nichts in thae Hells, when Satan and Sin sit thegither on ae chair, he wi' his arm roun' the neck o' that Destruction his daughter, a horrible temptation invades men's hearts and souls, drivin' and draggin' them on to the doom o' everlasting death.

Strong language, James--many good and great men have shook the clo bow.

SHEPHERD.

NORTH.

SHEPHERD.

NORTH.

SHEPHERD.

Come, conic now, Mr North, and dinna allow paradox to darken or obscure

the bright licht o' your great natural and acquired understandin'.

“ Good and great” are lofty epithets to bestow on ony man that is born o' a womanand if ony such there have been who delivered themselves up to sin, and shame, and sorrow, at the ggeming-table ; let their biographers justify them it will gie me pleasure to see them do't - but such examples shall never confound my judgment o' right or wrang. “ Shake the elbow indeed !" What mair does a parricide do but “ shake his elbow,” when he cuts his father's throat ? The gamester shakes his elbow, and down go the glorious oak trees planted two hundred years ago, by some ancestor who loved the fresh smell o' the woods—away go-if entail does no forbid-thousands o' bonny braid acres, ance a' ae princely estate, but now shivered down into beygarly parshels, while the Auld House seems broken-hearted, and hangs down its head, when the infatuated laird dies or shoots himself. Oh, man! is nae it a sad thocht to think that my leddy, aye sae gracious to the puir, should hae to lay down her carriage in her auld age, and disappear frae the Ha’ into some far-aff town or village, perhaps no in Scotland ava', while he, that should hae been the heir, is apprenticed to a writer to the signet, and becomes a money-scrivener i' his soul, and aiblins a Whig routin' at a public meetin' about Queens, and Slavery, and Borough Reform, and Cautholic Emancipation, and

No politics, James, if you love me. No politics, my dear Shepherd.

I ance dreamed I was in ane o' thae Hells. Wud you like to hear my dream?

NORTH.

SHEPHERD.

NORTH.

SHEPHERD.

See, Mullion and Tickler are at the dice again !-Yes, James.

Oh, mau! but they look ugly the noo, baith o' them. Only see Mullion's een-how gleg and glowrin' in perfec greed and glory-for he's evidently gotten the better just noo-and the hail being o’the cretur is made up o' avarice, and vanity, and a’ freenship for Tickler dead in his heart. Sin' a game o backgammon for half-a-crown can produce a'that upon sic a real worthy chiel as the Secretary-think o' what they ca' hawzard for thousands o' gold guineas, and bars o' solid bullion!

NORTH

SHEPHERD.

But the dream, James, the dream !

I faund mysel suddenly, without warnin' and without wonder, (for wha wonders at changes even in the laws o' nature hersel in dreams ?) in a lamplighted ha', furnished like a palace, and fu' o' weel-dressed company, the feck o them sittin' round a great green central table, wi a' the peraphernalia o’ destruction, and a' the instruments o' that dreadfu' trade.

و

NORTH.

SHEPHERD.

NORTH.

SHEPHERD.

You did not, I hope, James, recognize any of our friends there?

No, sir, I did not yet although a'the faces were new to me, I didna feel as if they were new; but I joined amang them without askin' questions wha they were, and was in a manner whirl'd about in the same vortex.

James, you surely did not play?

Nae questions. Some o' the company I took a likin' to-fine, young, tall, elegant chiels--some o'them wi black stocks, like officers out o' regimentals -and, oh! sir, wad you believe it, twa three that I was sure were o' the clergy-and ane or twa mere bairns, that couldna be aboon saxteen--a'these, and ithers beside, I felt my heart warm towards, and melt too wi' a sensation maist sickenin' o' kindness and pity, for although they tried to be merry and careless, atween the chances o'the game, their een and their features betrayed the agitation o' their souls; and I couldna but wonder why the puir deluded creatures pat themsels voluntarily into sic rackin' misery,

NORTH.

These were the pigeons of your vision, James.

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