JUVENILE PESSIMISM. First Youthful Reprobate. "'SAY, BILLY, 'AVE YER GOT First Y. R. "AH! WOT A WORLD! EH?" OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. A PERUSAL of Captain LUGARD's Rise of our East African Empire fills one with a thrill of pride at being also an Englishman. Captain LUGARD is a Soldier of Fortune. of the type of Quentin Durward, only, instead of lending his sword to a foreign king, he helps to carve out empire for England in the very heart of Africa. This is, however, merely an accident. He reached Massowah bent upon joining the Italian forces then fighting against the Abyssinians. This journey was undertaken for what, to my Baronite's peaceloving disposition, is the oddest reason in the world. Finding himself with his regiment at Gibraltar in December 1888, his health shattered in the Burmah campaign, Captain LUGARD came to the conclusion that nothing would do him good except a little fighting. So, with £50 in his belt, and no outfit except his rifle, he got on board the first passing ship, and sailed whithersoever it chanced to be going. This turned out to be Naples, a fortunate stroke, since Italy was the only nation that chanced at the moment to be at war. Captain LUGARD's efforts to obtain permission to join the expeditionary force, made first at Rome, and afterwards at Dogali, were unsuccessful. He drifted into East Africa, and finally reached Uganda, with which territory, particularly interesting just now, much of the book is concerned. It is impossible even to hint at the marvellous adventures through which he made his way. They were accomplished with marvellous endurance and superb courage, the picturesque narrative being written with charming modesty. No more stirring story has been told in recent years than Messrs. BLACKWOOD publish in these two handsome volumes, profusely illustrated and enriched with maps. A few hints to those about to marry in Courtship and Marriage, by ANNIE SWAN. Miss ANNIE SWAN is a Duck! The latest "Outs" published by "INNES" are The Dainty Books, a charming series, containing some very pretty stories; that of a little girl, always aiming at dramatic effects, in A Hit and a Miss, by the Hon. EVA KNATCHBULLHUGESSEN, is most amusingly told, and The Lily and the Water Lily is a delicate flowery romance by Mrs. A. COMYNS CARR, in which flowers and fairies talk and act for the benefit of some little children. Those who have bad memories should get the Dictionary of Quotations, compiled by Rev. JAMES WOOD. It is not a Stock Exchange memorandum, but a compilation of more than the usual stock quoted from various writers. Distinguished for his art gems, RAPHAEL TUCK AND SON are as Artful as ever with their variety show of cards and booklets. In consequence of the high price of coals this winter. FAULKNER & Co. have turned our eyes to summer flowers and pictures. Winter being summarily dismissed, is not on the cards. A splendid collection of Good Words for 1893, published by ISBISTER. and edited by DONALD MACLEOD, D.D.; in it will be found a serial story by EDNA LYALL, "To Right the Wrong," which proves how wrong it is to write,-but read this, and right through, says the BARON DE BOOK-WORMS. HOW TO WRITE A CHEAP CHRISTMAS NUMBER. From Editor to Contributor.-We are going to have a seasonable extra, but can't go to any unnecessary expense. Want a story of the old kind. Snow, ice, hunting, and plum pudding. Scene must be laid in an antiquated country-house, to bring in picture of "Downderry Grange by Moonlight." Can you manage it? From Contributor to Editor.-Just the thing ready to hand. Scene Burmah, but can easily bring all the characters to Loamshire. Central incident. Heroine run over by a wild elephant, easily changed into an accident on the railway. Have you any blocks you can send me? From Editor to Contributor.-Sending you heaps of cuts by the parcels post. Choose those you like best, and return the remainder. Isn't railway incident rather stale? Better stick to elephant. Possibly introduce a topical tone. Think you will find in parcel a sketch of the bombardment of Rio. Do your best. From Contributor to Editor.-Thanks for packet of blocks. I have kept half a dozen. Have found a fellow who will do for a hero. Only drawback he's always changing his personal appearance. However, can make him an amateur detective. Wrong about the bombardment of Rio. No picture of that incident. Think you must have taken "Illumination of Jammeripore, on the occasion of the Queen's Jubilee," for it. Can work in that, as it will do for one of my Burmese scenes. Rough sketch of plot. Hero in love with heroine, who is left alone in lonely manor-house. She meets him in a circus, where he rescues her from an infuriated elephant. Brings in three blocks nicely. Hard at work. From Editor to Contributor.-Afraid I must ask you to send back blocks you have selected. Appears I promised them to another Contributor, who had written up to them a story called, "Farmer Foodle's Visit to the Cattle Show." However, retain the Jubilee illumination. as he says he doesn't want it. Sending you fresh parcel. From Contributor to Editor.-Rather annoyed, as I was getting on capitally. EDWIN and ANGELINA, on their escape from the mad elephant, were seeking shelter under the Adelphi Arches. Now come a lot of pictures of the French Revolution! However, will do my best. From Editor to Contributor.-You are such a good-natured fellow, it's a shame to bother you. Find I had promised another chap those revolutionary subjects. He has written a story up to them, called "Nettleby's Nightmare." Have sent you a heap more in exchange. From Contributor to Editor.-It's really too bad! I had put EDWIN in the Conciergerie and ANGELINA was trying to bribe ROBESPIERRE. And now you have altered it all! And what am I to do with a picture which seems to be an advertisment of somebody's shirts ? Haven't you made another mistake. However, I have got on as fast as I can, and put a heap of subjects in a mad scene. EDWIN's brain breaks down, and he has visions of lots of things, inclusive of some wedding-cakes. From Editor to Contributor.-You are quite right. I did make a mistake. The last packet of blocks were put into my room by mistake. Please return them at once-they are required for the advertisements. Better send in your story as it is, and then I will find something appropriate. Why will you live in the country? If you were here, you could settle the whole matter in two twos. From Contributor to Editor.-I stay in the country because I can't get inspiration in town. And that's my affair, and not your's. Pardon this tone of irritation, but I hate altering a story after once panning out the plot. However, I have obeyed your orders. EDWIN and ANGELINA are born in Burmah (they are cousins), and are taken to an old English country-house. Then they are told by an old crone the story of their parents' past. That brings in all the French revolutionary business. Then I get in the detective part, with a reference to the undiscovered crime in Cannon Street. You will see it is all right. From Editor to Contributor.-I have read it, and heartily congratulate you. Just what we wanted. What do you call it ? From Contributor to Editor.-"A Lovely Devonshire Rose." It seems to me neat and appropriate; or, as it is a story for Christmas, how will "A Ray of Arctic Sunlight" do? From Editor to Contributor.-A Ray of Arctic Sunlight" is better for Yule Tide. I have got the very blocks for the illustrations. Belonged to a book called Travels in the Soudan and Syria. Could not have found anything more appropriate if I had searched for centuries. I enclose a little cheque, and offer thousands of thanks for all the trouble you have taken. It is no idle form when I wish you the happiest of Christmasses and the most prosperous of New Years! From Contributor to Editor.-Reciprocation of seasonable compliments. But I say-hang it-you might have made it guineas! Young Sportsman (to his small nephew, the Parson's son). "HELLO! JIMMIE! WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT ON THE PONY? YOU'LL NEVER BE A MAN IF YOU DON'T HUNT." Jimmie. "Now LISTEN TO THAT, MOTHER! THERE'S UNCLE JACK SAYS I SHALL NEVER BE A MAN IF I DON'T. THERE'S FATHER SAYS IT'S CRUELTY IF I DO. THEN OLD JOHN SAYS I SHOULD BE LAMING THE PONY; AND YOU SAY THE PONY WOULD BE LAMING ME! WHAT AM I TO DO?" "A SINGLE-HANDED RUN." ["It is interesting to watch the methods of obstruction.... Progress (with the Parish Councils Bill) has been slow enough, but it is impeded with an artfulness which indicates a certain division of labour among the different sections of the Unionist army. The first section includes the Liberal Unionists, whose rôle is.... to take no overt part in the game of mere talkativeness; the secord is the official Tories, who mostly hate the Bill .... and lose no opportunity of expressing a guarded but thoroughly sincere distrust of every portion of it; the third section consists of the go-as-you-please Lowtherites-the mere guerillas, who are allowed to obstruct as much and as long as they please."-" House and Lobby" in the Daily Chronicle."] 66 homesters' territory. Later, game of very equal character, each side looking like scoring, but nothing definite obtained before half time. Game then ruled a bit slow. Showing good combination, the visitors' forwards caused home-side some anxiety. Forwards, however, played very self-denying game, and game largely confined to the half and three-quarter backs, and in this visitors had advantage, as "Midlothian United" do not so greatly shine in this phase of game, whereas, among their opponents, BOWLES, LONG, LOWTHER, and one or two more, very smart and tricky. FOWLER, however, the great Midlothian forward, played with fine combination of energy and judgment, made some fine runs, and proved vastly effective in scrum. BALFOUR, GOSCHEN, and H. JAMES, played very artfully indeed, and tackled" strongly, and although that mighty forward CHAMBERLAIN less prominent than usual, still, in doggerel of football-field, it may be said that, JOE, the Brum, (Rough, and rather amateurish, reporter's mems. picked up on the St. Stephen's Football Grounds during the progress of the big match, Midlothian United v. Unionists. See illustration, p. 266.) FOOTBALL at St. Stephen's looking up! Fine exponents of the Rugby game. Strong combinations, Midlothian United" and Later BowLES, TOMLINSON, STANLEY LEIGHTON, LOWTHER, "Unionists" met to decide great-postponed-fixture. Though and HANBURY, were very active for the "Unionists." though weather favourable, failed somehow to attract the large crowd one or two of them seemed sometimes" within measurable distance" nsual at matches between these two "sides" of far-famed amateurs. of being pulled up for fouls. COLLINGS once made tracks but failed Enthusiastic followers of the game, however, who turned up to pass RIGBY, who throughout played a sound game at back for the in adequate numbers, rewarded by sight of good, if slow and unexciting game. Both sides well represented, and the homesters, who won the toss, played first half from pavilion end of ground, having wind, which was blowing across ground, a trifle in their favour. "Midlothian United," famous team, better known as "GLADSTONE'S Men," play well together, and are strong lot, though less speedy perhaps than their opponents. "Unionists" indeed (made up from two admirable teams at one time opponents) an extremely clever, not to say artful, combination. As pick of anciently opposed sides, wonderful how well they are together, and how unselfishly they play the game. "Midlothian United" team (which has undergone numerous changes of late) also fairly well together, and admirably captain'd. From kick-off, ball was well returned, and play settled down in Midlothianites. Not to be denied, the Unionists" again advanced DIABOLUS EX MACHINA.-Dynamiting Anarchism. |