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TO THE EDITOR OF 'MY GRANDMOTH'ER'S REVIEW.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE 'LIBERAL.'
In the First Canto of Don Juan appeared the follow- cause, and you have done well to sound the a.arm. 1 ing passage:
myself, in my humble sphere, will be one of your echoes.
In the words of the tragedian Liston, 'I love a row' "For fear some pradish readers should grow skittish,
I've bribed My Grandmother's Review,-the British) and you seem justly determined to make one.
“It is barely possible, certainly improbable, that the Who thank'd me duly by return of post
writer might have been in jest; but this only aggravates I'm for a handsome article his creditor ; Yel if my gentle Muse he please to roast,
his crime. A joke, the proverb says, 'breaks no bones ;' And break a promise after having made it her, Denying the receipt of what it cost
but it may break a bookseller, or it may be the cause of And arnear his page with gall instead of honey,
bones being broken. The jest is but a sad one at tr? All I can say is that he had the money.
best for the author, and might have been a still wa so
one for you, if your copious contradiction did not certify On the appearance of the Poem, the learned editor to all whom it may concern your own indignant innoof the Review in question allowed himself to be de-cence, and the immaculate purity of the British Review, coyed into the ineffable absurdity of taking the charge I do not doubt your word, my dear Roberts, yet I cans serious, and, in his succeeding number, came forth not help wishing that in a case of such vital importance, with an indignant contradiction of it ; to which Lord it had assumed the more substantial shape of an affidaByron replied in the following letter :
vit sworn before the Lord Mayor.
“I am sure, my dear Roberts, that you will take these
observations of mine in good part; they are written in TO THE EDITOR OF THE BRITISH REVIEW.
a spirit of friendship not less pure than your own edito" MY DEAR ROBERTS,
rial integrity. I have always admired you ; and not “As a believer in the Church of England—to say knowing any shape which friendship and admiration nothing of the State-I have been an occasional reader, can assume more agreeable and useful than that of good and great admirer of, though not a subscriber to, your advice, I shall continue my lucubrations, mixed with Review, which is rather expensive. But I do not know here and there a monitory hint as to what I conceive that any part of its contents ever gave me much surprise to be the line you should pursue, in case you should till the eleventh article of your twenty-seventh number ever again be assailed with bribes, or accused of taking made its appearance. You have there most vigorously them. By the way, you do n't say much about the refuted a calumnious accusation of bribery and corrup- poem, except that it is 'Aagitious.' This is a pity tion, the credence of which in the public mind might not —you should have cut it up; because, to say the truth, only have damaged your reputation as a barrister and an in not doing so, you somewhat assist any notions which editor, but, what would have been still worse, have injured the malignant might entertain on the score of the anothe circulation of your journal ; which, I regret to hear, nymous asseveration which has made you so angry. is not so extensive as the 'purity (as you well observe) “You say, no bookseller " was willing to take upon of its,'&c. &c. and the present taste for propriety, would himself ihe publication, though most of them disgrace induco ns to expect. The charge itself is of a solemn themselves by selling is.'
dear friend, though tature, and, although in verse, is couched in terms of such we all know that those sellows will do any thing to circumstantial gravity, as to induce a belief liule short money, methinks the disgrace is more with the pur. of that generally accorded to the thirty-nine articles, to chasers; and some such, doubtless, there are, for there which you so frankly subscribed on taking your degrees. can be no very extensive selling (as you will perceive !.1 is a charge the most revolting to the heart of man, from by that of the British Review) without buying. You its frequent occurrence; to the mind of a lawyer, from then add, what can the critic say?! I am sure I do n' its occasional truth; and to the soul of an editor, from its know; at present he says very little, and that not much moral impossibility. You are charged then in the last to the purpose. Then comes, 'for praise, as far as reline of one octave stanza, and the whole eight lines of the gards the poetry, many passages might be exhibited; next, viz.. 209th and 210th of the first canto of that pes- for condemnation, as far as regards the morality, all.' tilene poein,' Don Juan, with receiving, and still more Now, my dear good Roberts. I feel for you
your olishly acknowledging the receipt of, certain monies, reputation ; my heart bleeds for both ; and I do ask to oulogize the unknown author, who by this account you, whether or not such language does not come posimust be known to you, if to nobody else. An impeach- tively under the description of the puff collusive,' for ment of this nature, so seriously made, there is but one which see Sheridan's farce of “The Critic' (by the way, way of refuting; and it is my firm persuasion, that whe- a little niore facetious than your own farce under the ther you did or did not (and I believe that you did not) same title) towards the close of scene second, act the receive the said monies, of which I wish that he had first. specified the sum, you are quite right in denying all “ The poem is, it seems, sold as the work of Lord knowledge of the transaction. If charges of ihis ne. Byron; but you feel yourself ' at liberty to suppose 11 sarious description are to go forth, sanctioned by all the not Lord B.'s composition.' Why did you ever s'ipo solemnity of circumstance, and guaranteed by the vera- pose that it was? I approve of your indigna: ion-1 city of verse (as Counselior Phillips would say) what applaud il-I feel as angry as you can; but perhaps is to become of readers hitherto implicitly confident in your virtuous wrath carries you a little 100 far, when the not less veracious prose of our critical journals ? you say that no misdemeanour, not even that of sendo what is to become of the reviews ? And if the reviews ing into the world obscene and blasphemous poetry, the fail, what is to become of the editors ? It is common product of studio's lewdness and laboured impi-iy, as LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF MY GRANDMOTHER'S REVIEW:
pears to you in so detestable a light as the acceptance should be the author, not only because as a British peer, of a present by the editor of a review, as the condition and a British poet, it would be impracticable for him 40 of praising an author.' Tho devit it does n't! Think have recourse to such facetious fiction, but for some other a liide. This is being critical overmuch. In point of reasons which you have omitted to state. In the first Gentile benevolence or Christian charity, it were surely place, his lordship has no grandmother. Now the author, less criminal to praise for a bribe, than to abuse a fel
--and we may believe him in this—doth expressly state low-creature for nothing; and as to the assertion of the that the British' is his .Grandmother's Review ;' and comparative innocence of blasphemy and obscenity, con- if, as I think I have distinctly proved, this was not a fronted with an editor's 'acceptance of a present,' I mere figurative allusion to your supposed intellectual shall merely observe, that as an editor you say very age and sex, my dear friend, it follows, whether you well, but as a Christian barrister, I would not recommend she or no, that there is such an elderly lady still extant, you to transplant this sentence into a brief.
And I can the more readily credit this, having a sexa. “And yet you say, 'the miserable man (for miserable genary aunt of my own, who perused you constantly, till be is, as having a soul of which he cannot get rid') - unfortunately falling asleep over the leading article of But here I must pause again, and inquire what is the your last number, her spectacles fell off and were broken meaning of this parenthesis. We have heard of people against the fender, after a faithful service of fifteen years, of little soul,' or of 'no soul at all,' but never till now and she has never been able to fit her eyes since ; so of the misery of having a soul of which we cannot get that I have been forced to read you aloud to her; and rid;' a misery under which you are possibly no great this is in fact the way in which I becaine acquainted sufferer, having got rid apparently of some of the intel- with the subject of my present letter, and thus deterlectual part of your own when you penned this pretty mined to become your public
correspondent. piece of eloquence.
“ In the next place, Lord B.'s destiny seems in some “But to continue. You call upon Lord Byron, al- sort like that of Hercules of old, who became the author ways supposing him not the author, to disclaim with of all unappropriated prodigies. Lord B. has been supall gentlemanly haste,' &c. &c. I am told that Lord posed the author of the 'Vampire,' of a 'Pilgrimage in B. is in a foreign country, some thousand miles off it Jerusalem,'• To the Dead Sea,' of Death upon the may be; so that it will be difficult for him to hurry to Pale Horse,' of odes to 'Lavaleite,' to · Saint Helena,' your wishes. In the mean time, perhaps you yourself to the · Land of the Gaul,' and to a sucking child. Now have sel an example of more haste than gentility; but he turned out to have written none of these things. Bc. the more haste the worse speed.'
sides, you say, he knows in what a spirit of, &c. you “Let us now look at the charge itself, my dear Ro- criticise--Are you sure he knows all this ? that he has berts, which appears to me to be in some degree not read you like my poor dear aunt? They tell me he is quite explicitly worded :
a queer sort of a man; and I would not be too sure, if " I bribed my Grandmother's Review, the British."
I were you, either of what he has read or what he has
written. I thought his style had been the serious and “I recollect hearing, soon after the publication, this terrible. As to his sending you money, this is the first subject discussed at the tea-table of Mr. S. the poet, time that ever I heard of his paying his reviewers in who expressed himself, I remember, a good deal surprised that coin; I thought it was rather in their own, to judge that
you had never reviewed his epic poem, nor any of from some of his earlier productions. Besides, though his six tragedies, of which, in one instance, the bad taste he may not be profuse in his expenditure, I should conof the pit, and in all the rest, the barbarous repugnance jecture that his reviewer's bill is not so long as his of the principal actors, prevented the performance. tailor's. Mrs. and the Misses S. being in a corner of the room “Shall I give you what I think a prudent opinion. I perusing the proof shects of some new poems on Italy, do n't mean to insinuate, God forbid! but if, by any ac(I wish, by the by, Mrs. S. would make the tea a little cident, there should have been such a correspondence stronger,) the male part of the conversazione were at between you and the unknown author, whoever he may liberty to make a few observations on the poein and be, send him back his money: I dare say he will be very passage in question, and there was a difference of opi- glad to have it again : it can't be much considering the nion. Some thought the allusion was to the British value of the article and the circulation of the journal; Critic;' others, that by the expression, 'my Grandmo- and you are too modest to rate your praise beyond ils ther's Review,' it was intimated that my grandmother real worth.—Do n't be angry, -I know you won'.,--ar was not the reader of the review, but actually the this appraisement of your powers of eulogy; for on the writer; thereby insinuating, my dear Roberts, that you other hand, my dear friend, depend upon
your abuse were an old woman; because, as people often say, is worth, not its own weighi-that's a feather,-but * Jeffrey's Review,' Gifford's Review,' in lieu of Edin- your weight in gold. So do n't spare it: if he has barburgh and Quarterly ; so 'my Grandmother's Review gained for thal, give it handsomely, and depend upon and Roberts's might be also synonymous. Now, what your doing him a friendly office. ever colour his insinuation might derive from the cir. “But I only speak in case of possibility; for, as I 'cumstance of your wearing a gown, as well as from said before, I cannot believe in the first instance, that your time of life, your general style, and various pas- you would receive a bribe to praise any person whatever; sages of your writings, I will take upon myself to and stiil less can I believe that your praise could eve: exculpate you from all suspicion of the kind, and assert, produce such an offer. You are a good creature, my without calling Mrs. Roberts in testimony, that if ever dear Roberts, and a clever fellow; else I could almost you should be chosen Pope, you will pass through all the suspect that you had fallen into the very trap set for you previous ceremonies with as much credit as any pontiff in verse by this anonymous way, who will certainly be since the parturition of Joan. It is very unfair to judge but too happy to see you saving him the trouble of makof sex from writings, particularly from those of the ing you ridiculous. The fact is, that the solemnity of British Review. We are all liable to be deceived; and your eleventh article does make you look a little more it is an indisputable fact, that many of the best articles absurd than you ever yet looked, in all probability, and in your journal, which were attributed to a veteran fe- at the same time does no good; for if any body believed male, were actually written by you yourself; and yet to before in the octave stanzas, they will believe still, and this day there are people who could never find out the you will end it not less difficult to prove your negative, difference. But let us return to the more immediate than the learned Partridge found it to demonstrate his question.
not being dead, to the satisfaction of the readers of "I agree with you that it is impossible Lord Byron l alınınacs.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF MY GRANDMOTHER'S REVIEW:'
" What the motives of this writer may have been for of this letter, however far short my expressious may (as you magnificently translate his quizzing you) slating, have fallen of the sincere good will, admiration, and with the particularity which belongs to faci, the forgery thorough esteem, with which I am ever, my dear of a groundless fiction,' (do pray, my dear R.'talk a Roberts, litie less . in King Cambyses' vein,') I cannot pretend
" Most truly yours, to say ; perhaps to laugh at you, but that is no reason
" WORTLEY CLUTTERBUCK. for your benevolently making all the world laugh also.
1819. I approve of your being angry; I tell you I am angry
“ Little Pidlinglon. 100 ; but you should not have shown it so outrageously.
"P.S. My letter is too long to revise, and the post Your solemn ‘if somebody personating the Editor of is going. I forget whether or not I asked you the the,' &c. &c. • has received from Lord B. or from any meaning of your last words, ' the forgery of a groundless other person,' reminds me of Charley Incledon's usual fiction. Now, as all forgery is fiction, and all fiction exordium when people came into the tavern 10 hear him
a kind of forgery, is not this tautological? The sentence sing without paying their share of the reckoning - If would have ended more strongly with forgery;' only it a maun, or ony maun, or ony other maun,' &c. &c.; hath an awful Bank of England sound, and would have you have both the same redundant eloquence. But why ended like an indictment, besides sparing you several should any body would personale you? No words, and conferring some meaning upon the remainbody would dream of such a prank who ever read your der.
But this is mere verbal criticism. Good byecompositions, and perhaps not many who have heard
once more yours truly, your conversation. But I have been inoculated with a
" W.C. sille of your prolixity. The fact is, my dear Roberts, that somebody has tried to make a fool of you, azd what “P. S. 2d.-Is it true that the Saints make up the he did not succeed in doing, you have done for him and losses of the review ?-It is very handsome in them to for yourself.
be at so great an expense- Pray pardon my taking up "With regard to the poem itself, or the author, whom so much of your time from the bar, and from your clients, I cannot find out, (can you ?) I have nothing io say; who I hear are about the same number with the readers my business is with you. I am sure that you will, upon of your journal. Twice more yours, second thoughts, be really obliged to me for the intention!
LORD BACON'S APOPHTHEGMS.
XACON'S APOPHTHEGMS. OBSERVATIONS.
Antigonus, when it was This was not said by Michael Angelo, tho sa- This was not the por
told him that the enemy had Antigonus, but by a Spa mous painter, painting in trait of a cardinai, but of such volleys of arrows, that tan, previously to the battle the pope's chapel the por- the pope's master of the they did the
said, of Thermopylæ. traiture of hell and damned ceremonies.
That falls out well, for it
is hot weather, and so we souls, made one of the damned souls so like a car.
shall fight in the shade. dinal that was his enemy,
162. as every body at first sight
There was a philosopher This happened under knew it; whereupon tho
that disputed with Adrian Augustus Cæsar, and not cardinal complained to Popo
the Emperor, and did it during the reign of Adrian, Clement, hunibly praying it
but weakly. One of his might be defaced. The pope
friends that stood by, after. said to him. Why, you know
wards said unto him, Mevery well I have power to
thinks you were not like deliver a soul out of purga
yourself last day, in argu. tory, but not out of hell.
ment with the Emperor : I 155.
could have answered better Alexander, after the bat- It was after the battle of myse:f. Why, said the phitlo of Granicum, had very Issus, and during the siege losopher, would you have great offers made him by of Tyre, and not immedi- me contend with him that Darius. Consulting with ately after the passage of commands thirty legions ? his capiains concerning the Granicus, that this is
164. chem, Parmenio said, Suro, said to have occurred. There was one that found This happened to the fa. I would accept of these of
a great mass of money ther of Herodes Atticus, fers, if I were as Alexander.
digged under ground in his and the answer was made Alexander answered, So
grandfather's house, and by the emperor Nerva, whia would I, if I were as Par
being somewhat doubtful of deserved that his namo menio.
the case, signified it to the should have been stated by
esniperur that he had found the 16
267 $0xhireasure. The empe- meanest of mankind." Demetrius, king of M- This did not tappen tu ror made a rescript thus:
cedun, had a petilion offered Demetrius, but lo Philip Use it. He writ back again,
him divers times by an oid King of Macedon. that the sum was greater
woman, and answered he than his state or condition
had iu leisure ; whereupon ruild use.
the woman said aloud, Why wait a new rescripi, thus:
Then give over be king. Abuse it.
Having stated that Bacon was frequently incorrect in One of the seven was
This was said by Ana- his citations from history, I have thought il necessary wout in say, that laws were charsis the Scythian, and in what regards so great a name (however tritling, ) to like cobwebs: where the not by a Groek.
support the assertion by such facts as more immediately smallfies were caught, and
occur to me. They are bul irifles, and yel for such the great braku through.
Trifles a schoolboy would be whipped (if still in the
fourth form); and Voltaire for half a dozen similar er. 203.
rors has beeu treated as a superficial writer, notwith. An orator of Athens said This was not said by standing the testimony of the learned Warlon :-“Vole to Demosthenes, The Athe- Demosthenes, but to De- laire, a writer of much deeper research than is imagined, mans will kill you if they mosthenes by Phocion. and the first who has displayed the literature and cuswar mad. Demosthenes
toms of the dark ages with any degree of penetration and replied, And they will kill
comprehension.” For another distinguished testimony you, if they be in good
to Volcaire's meriis in literary research, see also Lord Holland's excellent Account of the Life and Writings
of Lope de Vega, vol. i. p. 215. edition of 1817. 221.
Voltaire has even been termed "a shallow fellow," There was a philosopher This was not said of by some of the same school who called Dryden's Ode about Tiberius thai, looking Caius (Caligula, I pre
" a drunken song
7;"- "-a school (as it is called, I presume, into the nature of Caius, sume, is intended by Caius,) from their education being still incomplete) the whole said of him, That he was but of Tiberius biunsell. of whose filthy trash of Epics, Excursions, &c. &c. &c. moire mingled with blood.
is not worth the iwo words in Zaire,“ Vous pleurez,' or a single speech of Tancred ;-a school, the apostate
lives of whose renegadoes, with their tea-rrinking neuThere was a king of Hun. This reply was not made trality of morals, and their convenient treachery in gary took a bishop in baie by a King of Hungary, but politics—in the record of their accumulated presences ile, and kept him prisoner; sent by Richard The first, to virtue can produce no actions (were all their good whereupon the pope wrii C@ur de Lion, of England deeds drawn up in array) to equal or approach the sole a monitory to him, for that to the Pope, with the breast- defence of the family of Calas, by that great any onelze had broken the privilege plate of the bishop of Beau- qualled genius-the universal Voltaire. u holy church, and taken vais.
I have ventured to remark on these little inaccuracies bus son: the king sent an
of "the groalest genius that England or perhaps any rinbassage to him, and sent
other country ever produced,"* merely to show our nawithal the armour wherein
tional injustice in condemning generally, the greatest ile bishop was taken, and
genius of France for such inadvertencies as these, of wis only in writing--Vide
which the highest of England has been no less guilty, num hæc sit vestis klii tui?
Query, was Bacon a greater intellect than Nowiin? Know now whether this be thy son's coat?
• Pape, in Ronca's Apecdotu p. 18. Na one's elusa
TWO EPISTLES FROM THE ARMENIAN VERSION
THE EPISTLE OF THE CORINTHIANS doctrine, behold, grief arises upon grief, and iny trouble TO ST. PAUL THE APOSTLE..
adds a weight to my chains; when I behold this calamity. I STEPHEN,f and the elders with him, Dabus, Eu- and progress of the machinations of Satan, who searcheth bulus, Theophilus, and Xinon, to Paul, our father and to do wrong." evangelist, and faithful master in Jesus Christ, health. I And thus with deep affliction Paul composed his reply
2 Two men have come to Corinth, Simon, by name, to the Epistle.* and Cleobus,Ş who venemently disturb the faith of some with deceitful and corrupt words ; 3 of which words thou shouldst inform thyself:
EPISTLE OF PAUL TO THE CORINTHIANS. 4 For neither have we heard such words from thee, nor from the other apostles:
1 Paul, in bonds for Jesus Christ, disturbed by so 5 But we know only that what we have heard from many errors, to his Corintifan brethren, health. thee and from them, that we have kept firmly.
2 I nothing marvel that the preachers of evil have
made this progress. 6 But in this chiefly has our Lord had compassion,
3 For because the Lord Jesus is about to fulfil his hat
, whilst thou art yet with us in the flesh, we are again com.ing, verily on this account do certain men pervert and about to hear from thee. 7 Therefore do thou write to us, or come thyself despise his words.
4 But I, verily, from the beginning, have taught you among us quickly.
that only which I myself received from the former apos8 We believe in the Lord, that, as it was revealed to Theonas, he hath delivered thee from the hands of the tes, who always remained with the Lord Jesus Christ. unrighteous.||
5 And I now say unto you, that the Lord Jesus Christ 9 But these are the sinful words of these impure men,
was born of the Virgin Mary, who was of the seed of
David, for thus do they say and teach: 10 That it behooves not to admit the Prophets. I
6 According to the annunciation of the Holy Ghost,
sent to her by our Father from heaven; 11 Neither do they affirm the omnipotence of God:
7 That Jesus might be introduced into the world, 12 Neither do they affirm the resurrection of the flesh: 13 Neither do they affirm that man was altogether and deliver our flesh by his flesh, and that he might raise
us up from the dead; created by God:
8 As in this also he himself became the example: 14 Neither do they affirm that Jesus Christ was born in the flesh from the Virgin Mary:
9 That it might be made marifest that inan was
created by the Father, 15 Neither do they affirm that the world was the work
10 He has not remained in perdition unsought :// of God, but of some one of the angels. 16 Therefore do thou make haste** to come among us.
11 But he is sought for, that he might be revived by
adoption. 17 That this city of the Corinthians may remain with
12 For God, who is the Lord of all, the Father of our out scandal. 18 And that the folly of these men may be made mani- | Lord Jesus Christ
, who made heaven and earth, sent fest by an open refutation. Fare thee well.ft
firstly, the Prophets to the Jews: The deacons Thereptus and Tichusts received and
13 That he would absolve them from their sins, and
bring them to his judgment. conveyed this Epistle to the city of the Philippians.şş When Paul received the Epistle, although he was then
14 Because he wished to save, firstly, the house of in chains on account of Stratonice, |||I the wife of Apofo- Israel, he bestowed and poured forth his Spirit upon the
Prophets; ianus, If yet, as it were forgetting his bonds, he mourned
15 That they should for a long time preach the worover these words, and said, weeping, " It were better for me to be dead, and with the Lord. For while I am in ship of God, and the nativity of Christ.
16 But this body, and hear the wretched words of such false
who was the prince of evil, when he wished to make himself Gord, laid his hand upon them,
17 And bound all men in sin, I • Some M38. have the title thus : Epistle of Stephen the Elder to
18 Because the judgment of the world was approachPaul the Apostle, from the Corinthians.
ing. # In the M88. the marginal verses published by the Whistons are wanting.
19 But Almighty God, when he willet :) justify, was In some MSS. we find, The ellers Numenus, Eubulus, Theo- unwilling to abandon his creature; philwa, anl Nomcson, 10 Paul their brother, health!
ç Others rearl, Tigre came certain men, ... and Clobeus, who 20 But when he saw his affliction, he had compassion sehemently anke.
1 Some MSS, have, We believe in the Lord, that his presence was nade manifest; ond by this dath the Lord delivered us from the hands of the unrighieoue. Others read, To rein the Propheta.
• In the text of this Epistle there are some other variations in he 1. Sorne M8s, lave. Therefore, brother, do thou make haste. words, but the sense is the same. 11 Others read, Fare thee well in the Lord.
† Some MSS. hase. Paul's Epistle from prison, for the instruc. 1* Some MSS, have, The Dearonx Therepe and Techu. $6 The Whistons have, lo he city of Phanicia : but in all the : Others read, Disturbed by parious compunctions. MSS. we find, To the city of the Philippians.
Some MSS. bave, That Jesus inight comfort the world. All Others read, On account monice.
Others read, He has not rerrine indiferent. 19 The Whistons have, Of Apoil phanus : but in all the MSS. we 1 Some MSS. have, laid his hand, and them and all body hound cad, Apofolanus.
tion of th Corinthians.