some of the old inhabitants of the land: "Judah could not drive them out of the vallies, because they had chariots of iron." Thou mayest at times bring them under, and thou mayest chase them out of sight by prayer, and drive them into their holes; but I am afraid, after all thy labour and toil, that these heathens will come into the sanctuary of the Lord; "That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit;" this sinful self must be denied daily, this part of the cross must be taken up and borne: "When I would do good, evil is present with me. me." When God answers prayer in the joy of our hearts, or gives us an answer of peace, we have no doubt but God regards us; but when we travail and labour in soul and body, seeking his kingdom, and the welfare of his subjects, till he burn the clothes from our backs for our pains, this is not so easily accounted for. "I am come down,' saith God, "to deliver Israel;" but the double task of bricks, the cruel mandates of the court, the stripes of the taskmasters, and the withdrawment of straw, was such a deliverance as puzzled Moses himself not a little. Job was a man that feared God with all his heart, and he wished to do it with all his house; and, lest his children should sin against God, he sent and sanctified them, and offered a sacrifice every morning, according to the number of them all; and he continued at this till a wind from the wilderness smote the house and killed them all together. "By terrible things

in righteousness wilt thou answer us, O God of our salvation!" Burning the coats grumbled in my heart not a little; but Aaron held his peace.

Feb. 2, 1797.

W. H. S. S.

LETTER LXVIII.

To the Rev. Mr. HUNTINGTON.

REV. SIR,

Ir has been on my mind to write to you several times, but thinking your time was much taken up in the ministry has caused me to delay; and knowing that you are an instrument in God's hand, by the love, joy, power, and peace, that my soul has felt and enjoyed in reading your writings, and in sitting under your preaching, from the hand of the Lord, this causes me to send you these few lines.

About fourteen years ago I was convinced, by a dream, that I had awfully sinned against God, and in my distress I promised never to sin any more; but soon broke my promise, and went on in sin, with my conscience accusing me daily for it.

From this time forward I had the dread of future punishment continually on my mind.

About twenty years of age, when under great fear and torment, I had a fresh discovery of my

sins, I saw all the sins that I ever committed in a trance; this. was attended with an intolerable burden; but I promised, if God spared me, never to sin more: but when my strength was recovered I took to a worse course than ever, for I got into wicked company, and took to drinking, in order to drown the thoughts of hell torments; I tried to harden my conscience against all fear, and went on in this course for three or four years. Soon after this I was married, and, having a family coming on, I left my old companions and took to hard labour, with nothing but the thoughts of hell and damnation on my mind all the day long, and the devil tempting me to put an end to my life; but hearing these words often whispered to my mind," Flee from the wrath to come," I thought the minister of the church must know if there was any way for me to escape; and the reason that I did not know, was because I attended so carelessly. I went to church, resolved not to let any word slip of what the minister said; but, alas! he said nothing about my case. And as the people who attended seemed to know nothing about soul-trouble, I went there no more, but took to searching of books, and out of an old prayerbook I learnt many prayers, and said them when I was under trouble, mourning over my hard fate with tears: this I called repentance; but God shewed me, in a dream, the end of the world, and Christ coming in the clouds of heaven; I looked to my repentance for refuge, but that was of no

avail, for the mouth of the bottomless pit broke open just where I stood; this made my bondage to increase, so that I thought the earth was not strong enough to bear me up under my burden. I went to hear B. H. preach, and his confidence I took for faith, which soon lifted me up till my head touched the clouds. Soon after this I fell into sin, and this brought distress on my mind again, and I tried to believe the promise according to what B. H. preached; but I could not believe, for all my supposed faith was swept away. I was under sore temptations, such as no tongue can express; there was no character to be compared with me in God's word, except that of Legions; the guilt of my sin was upon me; Satan close to my heels all day long, so that I was afraid to look behind me; the thoughts of my heart were such, that I was forced to hold my mouth with all my might, lest it should break out in such blasphemy that the people would have me confined in a madhouse: but finding that God spared me, I cried earnestly to him for mercy, and that with tears; and Satan would tell me, that Esau sold his birthright, and afterwards sought the blessing with tears, but found no place of repentance, &c.; and I had taken hold of the gospel, and looked back and sinned against the Holy Ghost, and there was no forgiveness for me. There is no tongue can express what I felt at this time. One night as I was alone reading the passage where the Lord is saying, "I will be

a wall of fire round about, and will be the glory in the midst of them;" this fire I took to be hell fire, and thought that it would devour me before morning: this drove me to cry to the Lord for mercy, and Christ appeared before my understanding with his pierced side, and I saw that he was bruised for my sins; and look which way I would he was still before me, and all my sins were separated from me: this filled my soul with love, joy, and peace; this enabled me and caused me to mourn over him whom I had pierced by my sins, abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes; at the same time my affections were in heaven, and these words were put in my mind, "I never will leave you, nor forsake you;" and in this love I walked many weeks, and soon began to fear that my old friend **** was not born again, for he described nothing of the plague of the human heart, nor of the chastisements of God, or the path of tribulation; and in answer to prayer the Lord discovered this more and more to me, which broke off all our acquaintance, and he cast out my name as evil, that others should not believe what I said concerning his faith; but, as I could hear none but legal preachers, my soul was soon brought into bondage again, and this led me to backsliding, and every snare that Satan laid was a trap to my feet, and I was brought again under the law, and that worked wrath in me. I heard talk of you, Sir, and your books, but my old friend said that he and you were exactly alike in experience,