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my mouth, and take them out again, for you? Thady (o the Doctor), my jewel, just give that blockhead of mine a rap on his sconce with your little bit of a switch, and I'll do as much for you another time.

Dr. W. So, instead of my instructing the fellow, he has abso lutely instructed me. (Aside.) Well, sir, you have convinced me what Dr. Wisepate should be, and now suppose we are ourselves again.

T. OK. (rises). With all my heart, sir. Here's your honor's wig and spectacles, and now give me my comfortable hat

and switch.

Dr. W. And, Robert, obey the orders that my representative gave you.

Rob. What! carry him down to the kitchen!

T. O'K. No, young man, I shan't trouble you to carry me down; I'll carry myself down, and you shall see what a beautiful hand Master O'Keen is at a knife and fork. (Exit, with Robert.)

Dr. W. (solus). Well, this fellow has some humor; indeed, he has fairly turned the tables upon me. I wish I could get him to give a dose of my prescribing to her ladyship's cats and dogs, for the foolish woman has absolutely bequeathed in her will an annual sum for the care of each, after her death. Oh, dear! dear! how much more to her credit would it be to consider the present exigencies of her country, and add to the number of voluntary contributions!

OULTON.

THE STYGIAN FERRY.

GHOSTS OF AN ENGLISH DUELIST AND A NORTH-AMERICAN SAVAGEMERCURY.

Duel. Mercury, Charon's boat is on the other side of the water. Allow me, before it returns, to have some conversation with the North-American Savage, whom you brought hither with me. I never before saw one of that species. He looks very grim. Pray, sir, what is your name? I understand you speak English.

Sav. Yes, I learned it in my childhood, having been bred for some years among the English of New York. But, before I was a man, I returned to my valiant countrymen, the Mohawks; and having been villainously cheated by one of your's in the sale of some rum, I never cared to have anything to do with them

afterwards. Yet I took up the hatchet for them with the rest of my tribe in the late war against France, and was killed while I was out upon a scalping party. But I died very well satisfied: for my brethren were victorious; and, before I was shot, I had gloriously scalped seven men, and five women and children. In a former war, I had performed still greater exploits. My name is the Bloody-Bear: it was given me to express my ierceness

and valor.

Duel. Bloody-Bear, I respect you, and am much your humble servant. My name is Tom Pushwell, very well known at Arthur's. I am a gentleman by my birth, and by profession a gamester and a man of honor. I have killed men in fair fighting, in honorable single combat; but do n't understand cutting the throats of women and children.

Sav. Sir, that is our way of making war. Every nation has its customs. But by the grimness of your countenance, and that hole in your breast, I presume you were killed as I was, in some scalping party. How happened it that your enemy did not take off your scalp?

Duel. Sir, I was killed in a duel. A friend of mine had lent me a sum of money; and after two or three years, being in great want himself, he asked me to pay him. I thought his demand, which was somewhat peremptory, an affront to my honor, and sent him a challenge. We met in Hyde Park. The fellow could not fence: but I was absolutely the adroitest swordsman in England. So I gave him three or four wounds; but at last he ran upon me with such impetuosity, that he put me out of my play, and I could not prevent him from whipping me through the lungs. I died the next day, as a man of honor should; without any sniveling signs of contrition or repentance: and he will follow me soon; for his surgeon has declared his wounds to be mortal. It is said that his wife is dead of grief, and that his family of seven children will be undone by his death. So I am well revenged, and that is a comfort. For my part, I had no wife. I always hated marriage: my mistress will take good care of herself, and my children are provided for at the foundling hospital.

Sav. Mercury, I won't go in the boat with that fellow. He has murdered his countryman; he has murdered his friend: 1 say positively, I won't go in the boat with that fellow. I will swim over the river: I can swim like a duck.

Mer. Swim over the Styx! it must not be done it is against the laws of Pluto's empire. You must go in the boat and be quiet.

Sav. Don't tell me of laws; I am a savage: I value no laws. Talk of laws to the Englishman: there are laws in his country;

and yet you see he did not regard them. For they could never allow him to kill his fellow-subject, in time of peace, because he asked him to pay an honest debt. I know, indeed, that the English are a barbarous nation: but they can't possibly be so brutal as to make such things lawful.

Mer. You reason well against him. But how comes it that you are so offended with murder; you, who have frequently massacred women in their sleep, and children in the cradle ?

Sav. I killed none but my enemies: I never killed my own countrymen I never killed my friend. Here, take my blanket, and let it come over in the boat; but see that the murderer does not sit upon it, or touch it. If he does, I will burn it instantly in the fire I see yonder. Farewell. I am determined to swir over the water.

Mer. By this touch of my wand, I deprive thee of all thy strength. Swim now, if thou canst.

Sav. This is a potent enchanter. Restore me my strength, and I promise to obey thee.

Mer. I restore it; but be orderly, and do as I bid you; otherwise worse will befall you.

Duel. Mercury, leave him to me.

I'll tutor him for you. Sirrah Savage, dost thou pretend to be ashamed of my company? Dost thou not know that I have kept the best company in England?

Sav. I know thou art a scoundrel. Not pay thy debts! kill thy friend who lent thee money for asking thee for it! Get out of my sight. I will drive thee into the Styx.

Mer. Stop. I command thee. No violence. Talk to him calmly.

Sav. I must obey thee. Well, sir, let me know what merit you had to introduce you into good company? What could you do.

Duel. Sir, I gamed, as I told you. Besides, I kept a good table. I eat as well as any man either in England or France.

Sav. Eat! did you ever eat the liver of a Frenchman, or his leg, or his shoulder? There is fine eating for you! I have eat twenty. My table was always well served. My wife was esteemed the best cook for the dressing of man's flesh in all North America. You will not pretend to compare your eating with mine?

Duel. I danced very finely.

I can dance all day spirit than any man How thou standest

Sav. I'll dance with thee for thy ears. Jong. I can dance the war dance with more of the nation. Let us see thee begin it. like a post! Has Mercury struck thee with his enfeebling rod?

Or art thou ashamed to let us see how awkward thou art? If he would permit me, I would teach thee to dance in a way that thou hast never yet learned. But what else canst thou do, thou

bragging rascal?

Duel. O misery! must I bear all this! What can I do with this fellow? I have neither sword nor pistol; and his shad seems to be twice as strong as mine.

Mer. You must answer his questions. It was your own desire to have a conversation with him. He is not well bred; but he will tell you some truths which you must necessarily bear, when you come before Rhadamanthus. He asked you what you could do besides eating and dancing. Duel. I sung very agreeably.

Come, begin. The fellow is
He has told us nothing but

Sav. Let me hear you sing your death-song, or the warwhoop. I challenge you to sing. mute. Mercury, this is a liar. lies. Let me pull out his tongue.

Duel. The lie given me! and, alas! I dare not resent it! What an indelible disgrace to the family of the Pushwells! This is indeed tormenting.

Mer. Here, Charon, take these two savages to your care. How far the barbarism of the Mohawk will excuse his horrid acts, I leave Minos to judge. But what can be said for the Englishman? Can he plead the custom of dueling? A bad excuse at the best! but here it cannot avail. The spirit that urged him to draw his sword against his friend is not that of honor; it is the spirit of the furies; and to them he must go.

Sav. If he is to be punished for his wickedness, turn him over to me. I perfectly understand the art of tormenting. Sirrah, I begin my work with this box on your ears, and will soon teach you better manners than you have yet learned.

Duel. Oh, my honor, my honor, to what infamy art thou fallen!

THE PROPHET OF MECCA.

MOHAMMED- ALCANOR.

Moh. Why dost thou start, Alcanor? whence that horror? Approach, old man, without a blush, since heaven, For some high end, decrees our future union.

Alc. I blush not for myself, but thee, thou tyrant: For thee, bad man, who com'st with serpent guile,

To sow dissension in the realms of peace.

Thy very name sets families at variance,

'Twixt son and father bursts the bonds of nature,

And scares endearment from the nuptial pillow!
And is it, insolent dissembler! thus

Thou com'st to give the sons of Mecca peace,
And me an unknown god?

Moh. Were I to answer any but Alcanor,

That unknown god should speak in thunder for me;
But here with thee I'd parley as a man.

Alc. What canst thou say ? what urge
in thy defense?
What right hast thou received to plant new faiths,
Or lay a claim to royalty and priesthood?

Moh. The right that a resolved and towering spirit
Has o'er the groveling instinct of the vulgar.

[hammed,

Alc. Patience, good heavens! have I not known thee, Mo

When void of wealth, inheritance, or fame,

Ranked with the lowest of the low at Mecca ?

Moh. Dost thou not know, thou haughty, feeble man,

That the low insect, lurking in the

And the imperial eagle, which aloft

grass,

Ploughs the ethereal plain, are both alike

In the Eternal Eye?

Alc. What sacred truth! from what polluted lips! (Aside) Moh. Hear me; thy Mecca trembles at my name:

If therefore thou wouldst save thyself or city,

Embrace my proffered friendship. What to-day
I thus solicit, I'll command to-morrow.

Alc. Contract with thee a friendship! frontless man
Know'st thou a god can work that miracle?

Moh. I do-necessity

thy interest.

Alc. Interest is thy god, equity is mine.

Propose the tie of this unnatural union;
Say, is 't the loss of thy ill-fated son,
Who in the field fell victim to my rage;

Or the dear blood of my poor captive children,
Shed by thy butchering hands?

Moh. Ay, 't is thy children.

Mark me then well, and learn the important secret,
Which I'm sole master of thy children uve.

Alc. Live!

Moh. Yes! both live.

Alc. What say'st thou ? Both?

Moh. Ay, both.

Ale. And dost thou not beguile me?

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