Others, as if lent a ray A goodly man, with an eye so merry, From the streaming Milky Way, I knew 't was our Foreign Secretary, Glistening o'er with curds and whey Who there, at his ease, did sit and smile, From the cows of Alderney! Like Waterton on his crocodile; Cracking such jokes, at every motion, Now 's the moment--who shall first As made the turtle squeak with glee, Catch the bubbles ere they burst ? And own that they gave him a lively notion Run, ye squires, ye viscounts, run, Of what his own forced-meat balls would be. BR-GD-N, T-YNH-M, P-LM-RST-N;John W-Lks, junior, runs beside ye, So, on the Sec., in his glory, went, Take the good the knaves provide ye!! Over the briny element, See, with upturn'd eyes and hands, Waving his hand, as he took farewell, Where the Chareman,? BR-GD-N, stands, With a graceful air, and bidding me tell Gaping for the froth to fall Inquiring friends, that the turtle and he Down his swallow-lye and all ! Were gone on a foreign embassy, To soften the heart of a Diplomate, Who is known to doat upon verdant fat, And to let admiring Europe see, Scatter'd by the cannon's thunder, That calipash and calipee Burst, ye bubbles, all asunder! Are the English forms of Diplomacy! [Here the stage darkens,-a discordant crash is heard from the orchestra—the broken bubbles descend in a A VOICE FROM MARATHON. To breathe the word-Arise ! Let every Greek arise ! Ye who have hearts to strike a single blow, Hear my despairing cries ! Ye who have hands to immolate one foe, 'T was evening time, in the twilight sweet Arise! arise! arise ! From the dim fields of Asphodel beneath, “On the service of his Majesty !"3 Upborne by cloudy sighs Of those who love their country still in death, When I spied him first, in the twilight dim, E'en 1-e'en I-arise! These are not hands for earthly wringing—these ! His fins, and roll'd from side to side, Blood should not blind these eyes ! Conceitedly over the watery path Yet here I stand, untomb'd MILTIADES, “ 'Tis my Lord of St-w-LL, taking a bath, Weeping-arise! arise ! And I hear him now, among the fishes, Hear ye the groans that heave this burial-field ?Quoting Vatel and Burgerdiscius!" Old Græcia's saviour-band Cry from the dust—“Fight on! nor DARE to yield ! ather-land! “ Blunt with your bosom the barbaric spear! Glued up the lips of a baronet ! Break it within your breast; Ah, much did it grieve my soul to see Then come, brave Greek! and join your brothers That an animal of such dignity, here Like an absentee, abroad should roam, In our immortal rest !" When he ought to stay and be ate, at home. Shall modern Datis, swoln with Syrian pride, a change came o'er my dream,” Cover the land with slaves ?- Cover it with their graves! Much has been done-but more remains to do Ye have fought long and well! 1 "Lovely Thais sits beside thee, The trump that, on the Egean, glory blew, Seem'd with a storm to swell! Asia's grim tyrant shudder'd at the sound, Murmur'd his horse-tail'd chieftainry around- “ Another Marathon!” But now, Dodona, 'mid her fanes and forests hoar, Heard it with solemn glee: Told it from sea to sea! Broke forth in glorious song! Thunder'd the notes along' Now rise, or ever fall! Better not fight at all! In dismal symphony, For both, strike harder ye! Quoth Corn then, in answer to Cotton, Perceiving he meant to make free, The distance between you and me! Should waste our illustrious acres Than to fatten curst calico-makers !- Should stoop from their bench's sublimity, Your contemptible dealers in dimity! A hope to be fed at our boards ; What claim canst thou have upon lords ? “No--thanks to the taxes and debt, And the triumph of paper o'er guineas, Our race of Lord Jemmys, as yet, Many defy your whole rabble of Jennys!” So saying, whip, crack, and away Went Corn in his cab through the throng, So madly, I heard them all say Squire Corn would be down, before long. Hark! how Cithæron with his earthquake voice Calls to the utmost shores ! His adamantine doors! Athenè, tiptoe on her crumbling dome, Cries-“ Youth, ye must be men!" And Echo shouts within her rocky tomb, “Greeks, become Greeks again !" Be wise, be firm, be cautious, yet be bold ! Be brother-true! be ONE! Divide, and be undone! Hallow'd in life, in death itself, is he Who for his country dies; A light, a star, to all futurity Arise ye, then! arise! O countrymen! 0 countrymen! once more By earth—and seas—and skies- Arise! arise! arise ! His owners and drivers stood round in amaze- What! Neddy, the patient, the prosperous Neddy, For every description of job-work so ready! “ brother”'); When, lo, 'mid his praises, the donkey came down! But, how to upraise him ?-one shouts, to other whis tles, While Jenky, the conjuror, wisest of all, Declared that an “over-production" of thistles_2 (Here Ned gave a stare)—was the cause of his fall. Another wise Solomon cries, as he passes, “There, let him alone, and the fit will soon cease COTTON AND CORN. A DIALOGUE. Said Cotton to Corn, t' other day, As they met, and exchanged a salute-(Squire Corn in his cabriolet, Poor Cotton, half famish'd, on foot) “Great squire, if it is n't uncivil To hint at starvation before you, Look down on a hungry poor devil, And give himn some bread, I implore you!" 1 Alluding to an early poem of Mr. Coleridge's addressed to an ass, and beginning, “I hail thee, brother!” 2 A certain country genileman having said in the House; " that we must return at last to the food of our ancestors, somebody asked Mr. T." what food the gentleman meant ?" -" Thistles, I suppose," answered Mr. T Some look'd at his hoofs, and, with learned grimaces, Pronounced that too long without shoes he had gone“Let the blacksmith provide him a sound metal basis, (The wiseacres said,) and he's sure to jog on.” But others who gabbled a jargon half Gaelic, Exclaim'd, “ Hoot awa, mon, you 're a' gane astray," And declared that, “whoe'er might prefer the metallic, They'd shoe their own donkeys with papier mache.” SUGGESTED BY A LATE CORRESPONDENCE ON THE CATHOLIC QUESTION. Heaven knows, are the doses you've taken ; His nonsense of ether, “ well shaken;" You've borne the mad slaver of LEES, And the twaddle of saintly Lord L-RT-N; But—worse, oh ye gods, than all these You've been lectured by Mr. Sec. H-RT-N! Alas for six millions of men ! Fit subjects for nought but dissection, When H-RT-N himself takes the pen, To tell them they 've lost his protection! Ye sects, who monopolise bliss, While your neighbours' damnation you sport on, Know ye any dannation like this To be cut by the Under Sec. H-RT-N? Meanwhile the poor Neddy, in torture and fear, Lay under his panniers, scarce able to groan, And—what was still dolefuller-lending an ear To advisers whose ears were a match for his own. At length, a plain rustic, whose wit went so far As to see others' folly, roar'd out, as he pass'd“Quick-off with the panniers, all dolts as ye are, Or your prosperous Neddy will soon kick his last !" THE GHOST OF MILTIADES. Ah quoties dubius Scriptis exarsit amator!- Ovid. ODE TO THE SUBLIME PORTE. GREAT Sultan, how wise are thy state compositions ! And oh, above all, I admire that decree, Shall forthwith be strangled and cast in the sea. 'Tis my fortune to know a lean Benthamite spinster A maid, who her faith in old JEREMY puts ; Who talks, with a lisp, of “the last new Westminster," And hopes you 're delighted with “Mill upon Gluts;" Who tells you how clever one Mr. F-NBL-NQUE is, How charming his Articles 'gainst the Nobility ;And assures you, that even a gentleman's rank is, In Jeremy's school, of no sort of utility. To see her, ye Gods, a new Number devouring Art. 1—“On the Needle's variations,” by Snip; Art. 2–“On the Bondage of Greece," by John B-R-NG (That eminent dealer in scribbling and scrip;) THE ghost of Miltiades came at night, Blessings and thanks!" was all he said, he posts 66 Oh Sultan, oh Sultan, though oft for the bag And the bowstring, like thee, I am tempted to callThough drowning 's too good for each blue-stocking hag, I would bag this she Benthamite first of them all! Ay, and—lest she should ever again lift her head From the watery bottom, her clack to renew,As a clog, as a sinker, far better than lead, I would hang round her neck her own darling Re away view They quote him the stock of various nations, Oft, too, the Corn grows animate, crop of heads appears, Themselves, together by the ears ! Of Poppies, gaudily declaiming, Stand forth, somniferously flaming! And oft I wish myself transferr'd off Where Corn or Papist ne'er were heard of. For--if my fate is to be chosen I'd rather, of the two, be frozen ! CROCKFORDIANA. EPIGRAMS. 1. Mala vicini pecoris contagia lædunt. Do, Cd, let the secret out, Why thus your houses fall.- Quoth he, “Since folks are not in town, I find it better to pull down, What! still those two infernal questions, Than have no pull at all.” That with our meals, our slumbers mix 2. That spoil our tempers and digestionsEternal Corn and Catholics! SEE, passenger, at C- -D's high behest, Red coats by black-legs ousted from their nest,Gods! were there ever two such bores ? The arts of peace, o'ermatching reckless war, And gallant Rouge undone by wily Noir! 3. Never was such a brace of pests— Impar congressus While Ministers, still worse than either, Fate gave the word—the King of dice and eards Skill'd but in feathering their nests, In an unguarded moment took the Guards; Bore us with both, and settle neither. Contrived his neighbours in a trice to drub, And did the trick by-turning up a Club 4. Whether, this year, 't was bonded wheat, Nullum simile est idem. Or bonded papists, they let out. 'T is strange how some will differ-some advance Here landlords, here polemics, nail you, That the Guard's Club-House was pull'd down by Arm'd with all rubbish they can rake up; chance; Prices and texts at once assail you While some, with juster notions in their mazard, From Daniel these, and those from Jacob. Stoutly maintain the deed was done by hazard. THE TWO BONDSMEN. When Joseph, a Bondsman in Egypt, of old, Shunn'd the wanton embraces of Potiphar's dame, Now Dantzic wheat before you floatsNow, Jesuits from California, She offer'd him jewels, she offer'd him gold, But more than all riches he valued his fame. Now Ceres, link'd with Titus Oats, Oh Joseph! thou Bondsman of Greece, can it be Comes dancing through the “Porta Cornea.”ı That the actions of namesakes so little agree? 1 The Horn Gate, through which the ancients supposed When with 13 per cent. she embellish'd her charms, Greek Scrip is a Potiphar's lady to thee. all true dreams (such as those of the Popish Plot, etc.) to pass. Didst thou fly, honest Joseph ? Yes-into her arms Oh Joseph ! dear Joseph! bethink thee in time, Of all the beasts that ever were born, Your Locust most delights in corn; And, though his body be but small, To fatten him takes the devil and all ! and you, That he was the Christian, and thou wert the Jew. THE PERIWINKLES AND THE LOCUSTS. Nor this the worst, for direr still, Alack, alack and a well-a-day ! Their Periwinkles,-once the stay And prop of the Salmagundian till For want of feeding, all fell ill! And still, as they thinn'd and died away, The Locusts, ay, and the Locusts' Bill Grew fatter and fatter every day! A SALMAGUNDIAN HYMN. "To Panurge was assigned the Lairdship of Salmagurdi, which was yearly worth 6,789,106,789 ryals, besides the revenue of the Locusts and Periwinkles, amounting one year with another to the value of 2,425,768, etc. etc."Rabclais. “HURRA! Hurra!" I heard them say, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9, and 10, And proved themselves most wealthy men! So, on they went, a prosperous crew, The people wise, the rulers clever,- Would thus go flourishing on for ever. A CASE OF LIBEL. ('T were a libel, perhaps, to mention where) Came up incog., some winters ago, To try for a change, the London air. And hid his tail and his horns so handy, From *****, or any other Dandy. (N.B.—His horns, they say, unscrew ; So, he has but to take them out of the socket, And—just as some fine husbands do Conveniently clap them into his pocket.) In short, he look'd extremely natty, And ev'n contrived to his own great wonderBy dint of sundry scents from Gattie, To keep the sulphurous hogo under. Unknown to all but a chosen few He had many post-obits falling due. At night he was seen with Crockford's crew, At morn with learned dames would sit So pass'd his time 't wixt black and blue. Some wish'd to make him an M. P., But, finding W—lks was also one, he Was heard to say “he'd be d-d if he Would ever sit in one house with Johnny." At length, as secrets travel fast, And devils, whether he or she, The affair got wind most rapidly. Alike a fiend's or an angel's capers- Fired off a squib in the morning papers : “We warn good men to keep aloof From a grim old Dandy, seen about, But folks at length began to doubt Of truth in aught they heard before ; And lost by Locusts ten times more ! 1 Remote posterity—a favourite word of the present Attorney-General's. % Accented as in Swift's line"Not so a nation's revenues are paid." |