Fable. And, even when they most condescended to teach, They pack'd up their meaning, as they did their mummies, In so many wrappers, 't was out of one's reach. They were also, good people, much given to Kingsm Fond of monarchs and crocodiles, monkeys and mystery, Bats, hieraphants, blue-bottle flies, and such things As will partly appear in this very short history. A Scythian philosopher (nephew, they say, To that other great traveller, young Anacharsis) Stepp'd into a temple at Memphis one day, To have a short peep at their mystical farces. He saw a brisk blue-bottle Fly on an altar,' Made much of, and worshipp'd as something With which, at one imperial wipe, He would all human rights expunge! Sages with muskets and laced coats- Down the poor struggling Spaniard's throats I can't help thinking (though to Kings I must, of course, like other men, bow) That when a Christian monarch brings Religion's name to gloss these things Such blasphemy out-Benbows Benbow! That you may roll in wealth and bliss ?" With all due pomp, and answer“ Yes !" Suffering nor peace nor love to grow, Look grandly forth, and answer “No!"- divine; While a large handsome Bullock, led there in a halter, Before it lay stabb'd at the foot of the shrine. Surprised at such doings, he whisper'd his teacher “If 't is n't impertinent, may I ask why Should a Bullock, that useful and powerful creature, Be thus offered up to a blue-bottle Fly ?” “No wonder," said t' other, "you stare at the sight, But we as a symbol of monarchy view it: That Fly on the shrine is Legitimate Right, And that Bullock the people that's sacrificed to it." FABLE IV. CHURCH AND STATE. Proem. "The moment any religion becomes national, or establishod, its purity must certainly be lost, because it is then impossible to keep it unconnected with men's interests ; and, if connected, it must evidently be perverted by them.”Soame Jenyns. Thus did SOAME JENYNS—though a Tory, A Lord of Trade and the Plantations- Is stained by State associations. Appeal'd to the benign Divinity, All in the name of the bless'd Trinity; In holy water dips the sponge, This, this it is—Religion, made, 1 According to Ælian, it was in the island of Leucadia they practised this ceremony_gurou Bour Txos . De Animal. lib. ii. cap. 8. 2 Ames, demi-anies, etc. This—this it 18—and here I pray As work like this was unbefitting, Those sapient wits of the Reviews, And flesh and blood no longer bore it, Who make us poor, dull authors say, The Court of Common Sense then sitting, Summon'd the culprits both before it. Where, after hours in wrangling spent (As courts must wrangle to decide well,) As caterpillars find those flies' Religion to Saint Luke's was sent, That, not content to sting like devils, And Royalty pack'd off to Bridewell : Lay eggs upon their backs likewise With this proviso-Should they be To guard against such foul deposits, Restored in due time to their senses, Of others' meanings in my rhymes They both must give security (A thing more needful here because it's In future, against such offences- Religion ne'er to lend his cloak, Seeing what dreadful work it leads to; 'Tis this Religion—this alone And Royalty to crack his joke I aim at in the following story: But not to crack poor people's heads, too. Fable. WHEN Royalty was young and bold, Ere, touch'd by Time, he had become FABLE V. If 't is not civil to say old THE LITTLE GRAND LAMA. At least, a ci-devant jeune homme. Proem. One evening, on some wild pursuit, NOVELLA, a young Bolognese, Driving along, he chanced to see The daughter of a learn'd law doctor,' Religion, passing by on foot, Who had with all the subtleties And took him in his vis-à-vis. Of old and modern jurists stock'd her, This said Religion was a friar, Was so exceeding fair, 't is said, The humblest and the best of men, And over hearts held such dominion, Who ne'er had notion or desire That when her father, sick in bed, Of riding in a coach till then. Or busy, sent her, in his stead, To lecture on the Code Justinian, “I say"—quoth Royalty, who rather She had a curtain drawn before her, Enjoy'd a masquerading joke Lest, if her charms were seen, the students “I say, suppose, my good old father, Should let their young eyes wander o'er her, You lend me, for a while, your cloak.” And quite forget their jurisprudence.? Just so it is with Truth-when seen, The friar consented-little knew Too fair and bright—'t is from behind What tricks the youth had in his head; A light, thin allegoric screen, Besides, was rather tempted, too, She thus can safest teach mankind. Fable. IN Thibet once there reign'd, we 're told, A little Lama, one year old And knock'd whole scores of watchmen down. Raised to the throne, that realm to bless, Just when his little Holiness Learn of the “why” or the “wherefore,” Some say his first tooth, some his second. Chronologers and verses vary, We only know the important truth- By the laced coat, grew frisky too Look'd big-his former habits spurn'd And much his subjects were enchanted, And storm'd about as great men dom As well all Lamas' subjects may be, Dealt much in pompous oaths and curses 1 Andreas. Said “ Damn you," often, or as bad 2 Quand il étoit occupé d'aucune essoine, il envoyait Laid claim to other people's purses, Novelle, sa fille, en son lieu lire aux escholes en charge, et, afin que la biaüté d' elle n'empêchât la pensée des oyants, In short, grew either knave or mad. elle avoit une petite courtine devant elle.-Christ. de Pise, Cité des Dames, p. 11. chap. 36. 3 See Turner's Embassy to Thibet for an account of his 1 “The greatest number of the ichneumon tribe are seen interview with the Lama. «Teshan Lama (he says) was at settling upon the back of the caterpillar, and darting at dif- this time eighteen months old. Though he was unable to ferent intorvals their stings into its body--at every dart they speak a word, he made the most expressive signs, and con deposit an egg."--Goldsmith ducted himself with astonishing dignity and decorum” And would have given their heads, if wanted, To make tee-totums for the baby As he was there by Right Divine (What lawyers call Jure Divino, Meaning a right to yours, and mine, And every body's goods and rhino) Of course his faithful subjects' purses Were ready with their aids and succoursNothing was seen but pension’d nurses, And the land groan'd with bibs and tuckers. Oh! had there been a Hume or Bennet And pin-a-fores, in nightly battles ! The waste of sugar-plums and rattles ! But no-if Thibet had M. Ps., They were far better bred than these; Nor gave the slightest opposition, During the Monarch's whole dentition. That they and theirs stood by the King, Throughout his measles and his chin-cough, When others, thinking him consumptive, Had ratted to the heir Presumptive :But, still—though much admiring Kings (And chiefly those in leading-strings) They saw, with shame and grief of soul, There was no longer now the wise And constitutional control Of birch before their ruler's eyes; And freaks occurr'd the whole day long, Allow'd, even in a King, were wrong- That Honourable Nursery, As all good men desired to see ;- And in its bud the mischief nippingThey ventured humbly to suggest His Majesty should have a whipping ! But short this calm; for, just when he Tweak'd the Lord Chancellor by the nose, And trod on the old General's toes Pelted the Bishops with hot buns, Rode cock-horse on the City maces, Hard peas into his subjects' faces. And grew so mischievous (God bless him !) That his chief Nurse—though with the aid Of an Archbishop—was afraid, When in these moods, to comb or dress him ; And even the persons most inclined For Kings, through thick and thin, to stickle, Thought him (if they'd but speak their mind, Which they did not) an cdious pickle. When this was read—no Congreve rocket, Discharged into the Gallic trenches, Produced upon the Nursery Benches. What, whip a Lama !-suffer birch The fundamentals of the Church! No-no-such patriot plans as these (So help them Heaven—and their sees !) They held to be rank blasphemies." The alarm thus given, by these and other Grave ladies of the Nursery side, Such party squabbles, far and wide, Which gave some fears of revolution, Was put at last in execution. The little Lama, call'd before it, а At length, some patriot lords—a breed Of animals they have in Thibet, Extremely rare, and fit, indeed, For folks like Pidcock to exhibitSome patriot lords, seeing the length To which things went, combined their strength, And penn'd a manly, plain and free Remonstrance to the Nursery; In which, protesting that they yielded To none, that ever went before 'emIn loyalty to him who wielded The hereditary pap-spoon o'er 'emThat, as for treason, 't was a thing That made them almost sick to think of And though 'mong Thibet Tories, some So much is Thibet's land a debtor, 'Tis said, her little Lamas since Have all behaved themselves much better FABLE VI. THE EXTINGUISHERS. As, in a great lord's neighbourhood, Of these Extinguishers were furnish'd (All of the true, imperial size,) And there, in rows, stood black and burnishid, Ready, where'er a gleam but shone Of light or fire, to be clapp'd on. Proem. Nay, Colonels have been known to reason, (Nine cases out of ten) of treason. Not many soldiers, I believe, are As fond of liberty as Mina; Once turns into a Scarletina ! Fable. Do what they will—so, one fine morning, First giving a few kicks for warning. Then, thanking Heaven most piously, He knock'd their temple to the ground, Blessing himself for joy to see Such Pagan ruins strew'd around. But much it vex'd my lord to find, That, while all else obey'd his will, The fire these Ghebers left behind Do what he would-kept burning still. Fiercely he storm'd, as if his frown Could scare the bright insurgent down ; But no—such fires are headstrong things, And care not much for lords or kings. Scarce could his lordship well contrive The flashes in one place to smother, Before-hey, presto—all alive, They sprung up freshly in another. At length, when, spite of prayers and damns, 'Twas found the sturdy flame defied him, His stewards came, with low salams, Offering, by contract, to provide him But, ah! how lordly wisdom errs, Obstructed to his heart's content, Placed upon every dangerous ventYe gods! imagine his amaze, His wrath, his rage, when, on returning, He found not only the old blaze, Brisk as before, crackling and burningNot only new, young conflagrations, Popping up round in various stationsBut, still more awful, strange, and dire, The Extinguishers themselves on fire!!! They, they—those trusty, blind machines His lordship had so long been praising, As, under Providence, the means Of keeping down all lawless blazing, Were now themselves—alas, too true The shameful fact-turn'd blazers too, And, by a change as odd as cruel, Instead of dampers, served for fuel ! Thus, of his only hope bereft, “What,” said the great man,“must be done ?" All that, in scrapes like this, is left To great men is—to cut and run. The banish'd Ghebers bless'd return'd: And all abroad now wildly burn'd, Moral. Is--that such lords are simple elves, In trusting to extinguishers That are combustible themselves. 1 The idea of this fable was caught from one of those brilliant mots which abound in the conversation of my friend, the author of the Letters to Julia-a production which contains some of the happiest specimens of playful poetry that have appeared in this or any age. CORRUPTION AND INTOLERANCE; TWO POEMS. PREFACE. rendering unnecessary the frequent exercise of prerogative, that unwieldy power which cannot move a step without alarm, it limited the only interference The practice which has lately been introduced into of the Crown which is singly and independently exliterature, of writing very long notes upon very indif- posed before the people, and whose abuses are there. fore obvious to their senses and capacities : like the ferent verses, appears to me rather a happy invention; for it supplies us with a mode of turning stupid poetry Athens, it skilfully veiled from their sight the only myrtle over a certain statue in Minerva's temple at to account; and as horses too dull for the saddle may obtrusive feature of royalty. At the same time, howserve well enough to draw lumber, so poems of this kind make excellent beasts of burden, and will bear ever, that the Revolution abridged this unpopular notes, though they may not bear reading. Besides, attribute, it amply compensated by the substitution of the comments in such cases are so little under the ne a new power, as much more potent in its effect as it is more secret in its operations. In the disposal of cessity of paying any servile deference to the text, an immense revenue, and the extensive patronage anthat they may even adopt that Socratic dogma, nexed to it, the first foundations of this power of the “Quod supra nos nihil ad nos." In the first of the following poems, I have ventured Crown were laid ; the innovation of a standing army to speak of the Revolution in language which has at once increased and strengthened it, and the few sometimes been employed by Tory writers, and slight barriers which the Act of Settlement opposed which is therefore neither very new nor popular. to its progress have all been gradually removed dur. But, however an Englishman may be reproached this spirit of influence is become the vital principle of ing the whiggish reigns that succeeded, till at length with ingratitude, for appreciating the merits and re the state, whose agency, subtle and unseen, pervades sults of a measure which he is taught to regard as the source of his liberties—however ungrateful it might be every part of the constitution, lurks under all its in Alderman Birch to question for a moment the pu- invisible sylph or grace which presides over the mo forms, and regulates all its movements; and, like the rity of that glorious era to which he is indebted for tions of beauty, the seasoning of so many orations-yet an Irishman, who has none of these obligations to acknowledge, to “Illam, quicquid agit, quoquo vestigia flectit, whose country the Revolution brought nothing but Componit furtim subsequiturque.” injury and insult, and who recollects that the book The cause of liberty and the Revolution are so haof Molyneux was burned, by order of William's bitually associated by Englishmen, that, probably, in Whig Parliament, for daring to extend to unfortunate objecting to the latter I may be thought hostile or inIreland those principles on which the Revolution was different to the former; but nothing can be more professedly founded—an Irishman may venture to unjust than such a suspicion ;—the very object which criticise the measures of that period, without expos- my humble animadversions would attain is, that in the ing himself either to the imputation of ingratitude, or crisis to which I think England is hastening, and bethe suspicion of being influenced by any popish re-tween which and foreign subjugation she may soon mains of jacobitism. No nation, it is true, was ever be compelled to choose, the errors and omissions of blessed with a more golden opportunity of establish- 1688 may be remedied, and that, as she then had a ing and securing its liberties for ever than the con- Revolution without a Reform, she may now seek a juncture of Eighty-eight presented to the people of Reform without a Revolution. Great Britain. But the disgraceful reigns of Charles In speaking of the parties which have so long agiand James had weakened and degraded the national tated England, it will be observed that I lean as little character. The bold notions of popular right, which to the Whigs as to their adversaries. Both factions had arisen out of the struggles between Charles the have been equally cruel to Ireland, and perhaps First and his Parliament, were gradually supplanted equally insincere in their efforts for the liberties of by those slavish doctrines for which Lord H-kesb-ry England. There is one name, indeed, connected eulogizes the churchmen of that period; and as the with whiggism, of which I can never think but with Reformation had happened too soon for the purity of veneration and tenderness. As justly, however, religion, so the Revolution came too late for the might the light of the sun be claimed by any particuspirit of liberty. Its advantages accordingly were for lar nation, as the sanction of that name be assumed the most part specious and transitory, while the evils by any party whatever: Mr. Fox belonged to manwhich it entailed are still felt and still increasing. By kind, and they have lost in him their ablest friend |