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The instant I have got the whim in,
A cold and loveless son of Lucifer, Off I fly with nuns and women,
Who woman scorn'd, nor knew the use of her, Like epic poets, ne'er at ease
A branch of Dagon's family, Until I've stol'n “in medias res!"
(Which Dagon, whether He or She, So have I known a hopeful youth
Is a dispute that vastly better is Sit down, in quest of lore and truth,
Referr'd to Scaliger' et cæteris,) With tomes sufficient to confound him,
Finding that in this cage of fools, Like Tohu Bohu, heap'd around him,
The wisest sots adorn the schools, Mamurra' stuck to Theophrastus,
Took it at once his head Satanic in, And Galen tumbling o'er Bombastus !?
To grow a great scholastic mannikin, When lo! while all that's learn'd and wise
A doctor, quite as learn'd and fine as Absorbs the boy, he lifts his eyes,
Scotus John or Tom Aquinas,2 And, through the window of his study
Lully, Hales irrefragabilis Beholds a virgin, fair and ruddy,
Or any doctor of the rabble is ! With eyes as brightly turn'd upon him, as
In languages, the Polyglots, The angel’so were on Hieronymus,
Compared to him, were Babel sots; Saying, 'twas just as sweet to kiss her-oh! He chatter'd more than ever Jew did, Far more sweet than reading Cicero !
Sanhedrim and Priest included; Quick fly the folios, widely scatter'd,
Priest and holy Sanhedrim Old Homer's laurell'd brow is batter'd,
Were one-and-seventy fools to him! And Sappho's skin to Tully's leather,
But chief the learned demon felt a All are confus'd and tost together!
Zeal so strong for gamma, delta, Raptur'd he quits each dozing sage,
That, all for Greek and learning's glory, Oh woman! for thy lovelier page :
He nightly tippled “Græco more," Sweet book! unlike the books of art,
And never paid a bill or balance Whose errors are thy fairest part;
Except upon the Grecian Kalends, In whom, the dear errata column
From whence your scholars, when they want tick Is the best page in all the volume.*
Say, to be At-tick 's to be on tick! But, to begin my subject rhyme
1 Scaliger. de Emendat. Tempor.-Dagon was thought 'Twas just about this devilish time,
by others to be a certain sea-monster, who came every day When scarce there happen'd any frolics
out of the Red Sea to teach the Syrians husbandry. See That were not done by Diabolics,
Jacques Gaffarel's Curiosités inouies, Chap. i. He says he thinks this story of the sea-monster carries little show of probability with it."
2 I wish it were known with any degree of certainty 1 Mamurra, a dogmatic philosopher, who never doubted whether the Commentary on Boethius, attributed to Thomas about any thing, except who was his father, “Nulla de re Aquinas, be really the work of this Angelic Doctor. There unquam præterquam de patre dubitavit.” In vit.--He was are some bold assertions hazarded in it: for instance, he very learned—"Là dedans, (that is, in his head when it was says that Plato kept school in a town called Academia, and opened,) le Punique beurte le Persan, l'Hébreu choque that Alcibiades was a very beautiful woman whom some of l'Arabique, pour ne point parler de la mauvaise intelligence Aristotle's pupils fell in love with. " Alcibiades mulier du Latin avec le Grec,” etc. See l'Histoire de Montmaur, fuit pulcherrima, quam videntes quidam discipuli Aristole tom. ii. page 91.
2 Bombastus was one of the names of that great scholar lis, etc. See Freytag. Adparat. Litterar. Art. 86. tom. i. and quack Paracelsus. "Philippus Bombastus, latet sub Valla, upon his accurate knowledge of the Latin language:
3 T'he following compliment was paid to Laurentius splendido tegmine Aureoli Theophrasti Paracelsi," says delius de circumforanea Literatorum vanitate. He used to Nunc postquam manes defunctus Valla petivit, fight the devil every night with the broad-sword, to the no Non audet Pluto verba Latina loqui. small terror of his pupil Oporinus, who has recorded the cir
Since Val arrived in Pluto's shade, cumstance. (See Oporin. Vit. apud Christian. Gryph.
His nouns and pronouns all so pat in, Vit. Select. quorundam Eruditissimorum, etc.) Paracel
Pluto himself would be afraid sus had but a poor opinion of Galen. “My 'very beard
To ask even “what's o'clock" in Latin ! (says he in his Paragrænum) has more learning in it than either Galen or Avicenna."
These lines may be found in the Auctorum Censio of Du 3 The angel, who scolded St. Jerom for reading Cicero, Verdier (page 29,) an excellent critic, if he could have either as Gratian tells the story in his Concordantia discordantium felt or understood any one of the works which he criticises. Canonum, and says that for this reason bishops were not 4 It is much to be regretted that Martin Luther, with all allowed to read the Classics. “ Episcopus Gentilium libros his talents for reforming, should yet be vulgar enough to non legat.-Distinct. 37. But Gratian is notorious for ly- laugh at Camerarius for writing to him in Greek.
“ Master ing--besides, angels have got no tongues, as the illustrious Joachim," says he, “bas sent me some dates and some raipupil of Pantenus assures us. Oux' ws neton TOWTO, OUTWS sins, and has also written me two letters in Greek. As soon ixeivoos n AWTT« oud' sv opgaveetis Sww owwns syysło.s; as I'am recovered, I shall answer them in Turkish, that he too - Clem. Alexand. Stromat. Now, how an angel could may have the pleasure of reading what he does not underscold without a tongue, I shall leave the angelic Mrs. - stand.”—“Græca sunt, legi non possunt," is the ignorant to determine.
speech attributed to Accursius; but very unjustly-far from 4 The idea of the Rabbins about the origin of woman is asserting that Greek could not be read, that worthy jurissingular. They think that man was originally formed with consult upon the law 6. D. de Bonor. possess, expressly says, a tail, like a monkey, but that the Deity cut off this appen- "Græcæ literæ possunt intelligi et legi.” (Vide Noo. Libdage behind, and made woman of it. Upon this extraordi- ror. Rarior. Collection. Fasciculi IV.)-Scipio Carteromanary supposition the following reflection is founded:
chus seems to think that there is no salvation out of the palo If such is the tie between women and men,
of Greek literature: “Via prima salutis Graia pandetur ab
urbe." And the zeal of Laurentius Rhodomannus cannot The ninny who weds is a pitiful elf, For he takes to his tail, like an idiot, again,
be sufficiently admired, when he exhorts his countrymen And he makes a deplorable ape of bimself.
per gloriam Christi, per salutem patriæ, per reipublicæ Yet, if we may judge as the fashions prevail,
decus et emolumentum," to study the Greek language. Nor Every husband remembers the original plan,
must we forget Phavorinus, the excellent Bishop of Nocera, And, knowing his wife is no more than his tail,
who, careless of all the usual commendations of a Christian Why he leaves her behind him as much as he can.
required no further eulogium on his tomb than “Here lieth a Greek Lexicographer."
In logics, he was quite Ho Panu !!
If boy the baby chance to be, Knew as much as ever man knew.
He cries OA!-if girl, OE! He fought the combat syllogistic
These are, says he, exceeding fair hints With so much skill and art eristic,
Respecting their first sinful parents ;, That though you were the learned Stagyrite, “ Oh Eve !" exclaimeth little madam, At once upon the hip he had you right !
While little master cries, “ O Adam !"} Sometimes indeed his speculations
In point of science astronomical, Were view'd as dangerous innovations.
It seem'd to him extremely comical, As thus-the Doctor's house did harbour a
That, once a year, the frolic sun Sweet blooming girl, whose name was Barbara : Should call at Virgo's house for fun, Oft, when his heart was in a merry key,
And stop a month and blaze around her, He taught this maid his esoterica,
Yet leave her Virgo, as he found her! And sometimes, as a cure for hectics,
But, 'twas in Optics and Dioptricks, Would lecture her in dialectics.
Our dæmon play'd his first and top tricks : How far their zeal let him and her go
He held that sunshine passes quicker Before they came to sealing Ergo,
Through wine than any other liquor ; Or how they placed the medius terminus,
That glasses are the best utensils Our chronicles do not determine us;
To catch the eyes bewilder'd pencils ; But so it was—by some confusion
And though he saw no great objection In this their logical prælusion,
To steady light and pure reflection, The Doctor wholly spoil'd, they say,
He thought the aberrating rays, The figure of young Barbara ;
Which play about a bumper's blaze, And thus, by many a snare sophistic,
Were by the Doctors look’d, in common, on, And enthymeme paralogistic,
As a more rare and rich phenomenon ! Beguil'd a maid, who could not give,
He wisely said that the sensorium To save her life, a negative.
Is for the eyes a great emporium, In music, though he had no ears
To which those noted picture stealers Except for that among the spheres,
Send all they can, and meet with dealers. (Which most of all, as he averr'd it,
In many an optical proceeding He dearly lov'd, 'cause no one heard it,)
The brain, he said, show'd great good breeding; Yet aptly he, at sight, could read
For instance, when we ogle women, Each tuneful diagram in Bede,
(A trick which Barbara tutor'd him in,) And find, by Euclid's corollaria,
Although the dears are apt to get in a The ratios of a jig or aria.
Strange position on the retina, But, as for all your warbling Delias,
Yet instantly the modest brain
Doth set them on their legs again !2
Of all omnigenous omnisciency,
Began (as who would not begin
That had, like him, so much within ?)
Folios, quartos, large and small sorts ;
Poems, so very deep and sensible, Like that great little man Albertus,
That they were quite incomprehensible,: Wherein he show'd the reason why,
Prose, which had been at learning's Fair, When children first are heard to cry,
And bought up all the trumpery there, 1 O IANY. The introduction of this language into English poetry has a good effect, and ought to be more uni
1 This is translated almost literally from a passage in Alversally adopted. A word or two of Greek in a stanza would serve as a ballast to the most " light o' love" verses. bertus de Secrctis, etc.— I have not the book by me, or I
would transcribe the words. Ausonius, among the ancients, may serve as a model: Ου γαρ μοι θεμις εστιν in hac regione μενοντι
2 Alluding to that habitual act of the judgment, by which, Αξιον ab nostris επιδεθεα esse καμηναις.
notwithstanding the inversion of the image upon the retina, Rosnard, the French poet, has enriched his sonnets and a correct impression of the object is conveyed to the sen
sorium. odes with many an exquisite morsel from the Lexicon. His Chère Entelechie, in addressing his mistress, is admirable, 3 Under this description, I believe, " the Devil among the and can be only matched by Cowley's Antiperistasis. Scholars” nay be included. Yet Leibnitz found out the
2 The first figure of simple syllogisms, to which Barbara uses of incomprehensibility, when he was appointed secrebelongs, together with Celarent, Darii, and Ferio.
tary to a society of philosophers at Nuremberg, merely for 3 Because the three propositions in the mood of Barbara his merit in writing a cabalistical letter, one word of which are universal affirmatives.—The poet borrowed this equi- neither they nor himself could interpret. See the Eloge voque upon Barbara from a curious Epigram which Mencke- Historique de M. de Leibnitz, l'Europe Savante. -People nius gives in a note upon his Essays de Charlataneria of all ages have loved to be puzzled. We find Cicero Eruuitorum. In the Nuptiæ Peripatetice of Caspar Bar- thanking Atticus for having sent him a work of Serapion læus, the reader will find some facetious applications of the "ex quo (says he) quidem ego (quod inter nos liceat dicere) terms of logic to matrimony. Crambe's Treatise on Syllo- millesimam partem vix intelligo." Lib. 2. Epist. 4. And gisms, in Martinus Scriblerus, is borrowed chiefly from the we know that Avicen, the learned Arabian, read Aristotle's Nuptiæ Peripateticæ of Barlæus.
Metaphysics forty times over, for the supreme pleasure of 4 Or, Glass-Breaker.-Morhofius has given an account of being able to inform the world that he could not comprehend this extraordinary man, in a work published 1682. “De one syllable throughout them.-Nicolas Mossa in Vit vitreo csypho fracto," etc.
The tatter'd rags of every vest,
Worse than M***'s Latin, In which the Greeks and Romans drest,
Or the smooth codicil And o'er her figure, swoln and antic,
To a witch's will, where she brings her cat in! Scatter'd them all with airs so frantic,
I treat my goddess ill, That those, who saw the fits she had,
(My muse I mean) to make her speak 'em ; Declar'd unhappy prose was mad!
Like the Verbum Græcum, Epics he wrote, and scores of rebusses,
Spermagoraiolekitholakanopolides,' All as neat as old Turnebus's;
Words that ought only be said upon holidays, Eggs and altars, cyclopædias,
When one has nothing else to do. Grammars, prayer-books--oh! 't were tedious,
But, dearest George, though every bone is aching Did I but tell the half, to follow me;
After this shaking,
And trying to regain the socket,
From which the stage thought fit to rock it, (Whose writings all, thank Heaven! have miss'd us,) Ere fill'd with lumber such a ware-room
I fancy I shall sleep the better
For having scrawl'd a kind of letter As this great “porcus literarum !"
It seems to me like-“George, good-night!"
Though far the spot I date it from;
To which I fancy, while I write,
Your answer back—“Good night t'ye Tom."
But do not think that I shall turn all
Sorts of quiddities, FROM FREDERICKSBURGH, VIRGINIA," JUNE 2D.
Into my journal;
That I shall tell you the different prices
Of eating, drinking, and such other vices,
To “contumace your appetite's acidities !"?
No, no; the Muse too delicate bodied is
For such commodities !
Neither suppose, like fellow of college, she Over rivers of mud, whose names alone
Can talk of conchology,
Or meteorology ;
Or, that a nymph, who wild as comet errs,
Can discuss barometers, Who ever heard of names so barbarous ?
Farming tools, statistic histories, 1 These fragments form but a small part of a ridiculous Geography, law, or such like mysteries, medley of prose and doggerel, into which, for my amuse- For which she does'nt care thee skips of ment, I threw some of the incidents of my journey. If it Prettiest flea, that e'er the lips of were even in a more rational form, there is yet much of it Catharine Roache look'd smiling upon, too allusive and too personal for publication.
2 Having remained about a week at New-York, where I When bards of France all, one by one, saw Madame Jerome Bonaparte, and felt a slight shock of Declar'd that never did hand approach an earthquake, (the only things that particularly awakened my attention,) I sailed again in the Boston for Norfolk, from Such flea as was caught upon Catharine Roache ! whence I proceeded on my tour to the northward, through Williamsburgh, etc. At Richmond there are a few men of considerable talents. Mr. Wickham, one of their celebrated Sentiment, George, I'll talk when I've got any,
aracters, is a gentleman whose manners and mode of life would do honour to the most cultivated societies. Oh! Linnæus has made such a prig o'me,
And botany, Judge Marshall, the author of Washington's Life, is another very distinguished ornament of Richmond. These Cases I'll find of such polygamy gentlemen, I must observe, are of that respectable, but at
Under every bush, present unpopular party, the Federalists.
3 What Mr. Weld says of the continual necessity of As would make the “shy curcuma”4 blush ; balancing or trimming the stage, in passing over some of the wretched roads in America, is by no means exaggerated. “ The driver frequently had to call to the passengers in the 1 Σπερμαγοραιολεκιθoλαχανοπωλιδες. From the Lystage, to lean ou: of the carriage, first at one side, then at sistrata of Aristophanes, v. 458. the other, to prevent it from oversetting in the deep ruts 2 This phrase is taken verbatim from an account of an exwith which the road abounds! Now gentlemen, to the pedition to Drummond's Pond, by one of those many Ameright;' upon which the passengers all stretched their bodies ricans who profess to think that the English language, as it half way out of the carriage, to balance it on that side. has been hitherto written, is deficient in what they call re
Now gentlemen, to the left;' and so on.”-Weld's Tra- publican energy. One of the savans of Washington is far vels, Letter iii.
advanced in the construction of a new language for the 4 Before the stage can pass one of these bridges, the United States, which is supposed to be a mixture of Hebrew driver is obliged to stop and arrange the loose planks of and Mikmak. which it is composed, in the manner that best suits his 3 Alluding to a collection of poems, called “La Puce des ideas of safety: and, as the planks are again disturbed by grands-jours de Poitiers." They were all written upon a the passing of the coach, the next travellers who arrive fea, which Stephen Pasquier found on the bosom of the have of course a new arrangement to make. Mahomet famous Catharine des Roaches, one morning during the (as Sale tells us) was at some pains to imagine a precarious grands-jours of Poitiers. I ask pardon of the learned kind of bridge for the entrance of para:lise, in order to en-Catharine's memory, for my vulgar alteration of her most hance the pleasures of arrival: a Virginian bridge, I think, respectable name. would have answered his purpose completely.
“Curcuma, cold and shy."-Darwin.
Vice under every name and shape,
The Lord deliver us!
And, George, be sure
(Nor thou be risible)
If it were visible.
The evening now grew dark and still ;
By any chance he
Could take a fancy
I wrote a sonnet.?
And now, to tell you the gay variety
Of my stage society,
What pity, blooming girl!
One tooth of pearl !3
There was * * * *
Than, if there were an income-tax on brains,
I ask'd the Scholar,
If his-what d'ye call her ?
Alma Mater and her Bishop
And were much adyancing
In dancing ?
Calleth the true “ machine political,"):
Saints protect the pretty quaker,
1 "Observed likewise in these savannas abundance of liamsburgh! But when he wrote, his countryınen had not
1 John Smith, a famous traveller, and by far the most 2 This philosophical Duke, describing the view from Mr. enterprising of the first settlers in Virginia. How much he Jefferson's house, says, " the Atlantic might be seen, were was indebted to the interesting young Porahuntas, daughter it not for the greatness of the distance, which renders that of King Powhatan, may be seen in all the histories of this prospect impossible.” See his Travels.
colony. In the dedication of his own work to the Dutchess 3 Polygnotus was the first painter, says Pliny, who show- of Richmond, he thus enumerates his bonnes fortunes : ed the teeth in his portraits. He would scarcely, I think, “ Yet my comfort is, that heretofore honourable and veriuhave been tempted 10 such an innovation in America. ous ladies, and comparable but among themselves, have
4 The Marquis de Chastellux, in his wise letter to Mr. offered me rescue and protection in my greatest dangers.
2 For the Sonnet, see page 121.
TO A FRIEND. When next you see the black-ey'd Caty, The loving languid girl of Hayti,' Whose finger so expertly plays Amid the ribbon's silken maze, Just like Aurora, when she ties A rainbow round the morning skies ! Say, that I hope, when winter's o'er,
On Norfolk's bank again to rove,
For some of Caty's softest love.
Yet want it not entirely new;
About-suppose a week or two.
FROM THE GREEK." I've prest her bosom oft and oft ;
In spite of many a pouting cheek, Have touch'd her lip in dalliance soft,
And play'd around her silvery neck. But, as for more, the maid 's so coy,
That saints or angels might have seen us ; She's now for prudence, now for joy,
Minerva half, and half a Venus. When Venus makes her bless me near,
Why then, Minerva makes her loth; And-oh the sweet tormenting dear!
She makes me mad between them both!
" Errare malo cum Platone, quam cum aliis recte sentire."
Cicero. I would rather think wrongly with Plato, than rightly with
any one else.
ON A BEAUTIFUL EAST-INDIAN. If all the daughters of the sun
Have loving looks and eyes of flame, Go, tell me not that she is one
'Twas from the wintry moon she came! And yet, sweet eye! thou ne'er wert given
To kindle what thou dost not feel; And yet, thou flushing lip-by heaven!
Thou ne'er wert made for Dian's seal ! Oh! for a sunbeam, rich and warm
From thy own Ganges' fervid haunts, To light thee up, thou lovely form!
To all my soul adores and wants : To see thee burn-to faint and sigh
Upon that bosom as it blaz'd, And be myself the first to die,
Amid the flame myself had rais'd!
1802. Fanny, my love, we ne'er were sages,
But, trust me, all that Tully's zeal Express'd for Plato's glowing pages,
All that, and more, for thee I feel ! Whate'er the heartless world decree,
Howe'er unfeeling prudes condemn, FANNY! I'd rather sin with thee,
Than live and die a saint with them!
I NE'ER on that lip for a minute have gaz’d,
But a thousand temptations beset me, And I've thought, as the dear little rubies you rais'ā,
How delicious 'twould be—if you'ddet me! Then be not so angry for what I have done,
Nor say that you've sworn to forget me; They were buds of temptation too pouting to shun,
And I thought that—you could not but let me! When your lip with a whisper came close to my cheek,
Oh think how bewitching it met me!
Your eye seem'd to say-you would let me! Then forgive the transgression, and bid me remain,
For, in truth, if I go you'll regret me;
And I'll do all you wish-will you let me?
But there is one, a gentler one,
Would ne'er have done as thine has done. When we were left alone to-day,
When every curious eye was fled, And all that love could look or say, .
We might have look’d, we might have said : Would she have felt me trembling press,
Nor trembling press to me again ? Would she have had the power to bless,
Yet want the heart to bless me then? Her tresses, too, as soft as thineWould she have idly paus'd to twine Their scatter'd locks, with cold delay, While oh! such minutes pass'd away,
1 Among the West-Indian French at Norfolk, there are some very interesting Saint Domingo girls, who, in the day, sell millinery, etc. and at night assemble in little cotillion parties, where they dance away the remembrance of their unfortunate country, and forget the miseries which "les mis des noirs" have brought upon them.
1 Μαζους χερσιν εχω, στοματι στομα, δεπερι δειρην
Ασχετα λυσσωων βοσκομαι αργυρε ην Ουπω δ' αφρογενειαν ολην ελον· αλλ' ετι καμνων
Παρθενον αμφιεπον λεκρον αναινομενην • Ημισυ γαρ Παφιη, το δ' αρ' ημισυ δωκεν Αθηνη Αυταρ εγω μεσσος τηκομαι αμφοτερων.