CHAPTER XI.

Faithfulness in trial. Spiritual consolations. General remarks on her experience during the year 1671. Discharge of domestic and other duties. Trials in relation to her seasons of prayer. Of the faults of which she considered herself guilty at this period. Remarks on a regard for God's providences. Her first acquaintance, July 1671, with Francis La Combe. Some account of him. The impression made upon him by her conversations. Her growth in grace. The account she gives of her will, as subdued in its operations, but not wholly renovated in its nature. Remarks on this subject.

IN all the trials which she was thus called to endure, in the afflictions of her own person, and in the loss of her favorite son, it may be said of her, as it was of Job, who is naturally called to mind by the story of her sufferings, that she "sinned not, nor charged God foolishly." So far, at least, as the occurrences, which have now been mentioned, are concerned, the sincerity of the consecration which she had made of herself and of all her interests to God, had been tried; and through the grace of God it had not been found wanting.

2. It is possible, that the suggestion may arise in the minds of some, that God compensated her outward trials by giving an increase of inward consolation. And such was the case, undoubtedly, just so far as he found it necessary and desirable. He never fails, "to temper the wind to the shorn lamb."

The hand which afflicted did not allow her to sink

under the blow. And, accordingly, in giving some account of her feelings at this time, she speaks very fully of the supports and consolations she received, although they were mingled with some alternations of feeling, and with some states of inward experience, which she did not then fully understand.

3. "I had a great desire," she says, "for the most intimate communion with God. For this object, my heart went forth in continual prayer. He answered my supplication richly and deeply. The sensible emotion and joy, which I experienced, were sometimes overwhelming. My heart was filled with love, as well as with joy; with that love which seeks another's will, and which is ready to relinquish and sacrifice its own.

4. "But this state of mind did not always continue. At other times, my mind seemed to be dry, arid, unemotional;' and not fully understanding the nature of his dealings with men, it seemed to me at such times that God, being offended for something, had left me. The pain of his absence (for such I supposed it to be) was very great. Thinking it to be for some fault of mine that he had thus left me, I mourned deeply,-I was inconsolable. I did not then understand, that in the progress of the inward death, I must be crucified not only to the outward joys of sense, and to the pleasures of wordly vanity, but also, which is a more terrible and trying crucifixion, that I must die to the joys of God, in order that I might fully live to the will of God. If I had known that this was one of the states through which I must pass, in order to experience the full power of sanctifying grace, I should not have been troubled." She had not yet reached that state, (that is to say, permanently and fully, although she had at times some touches of it,) which may be denominated the Prayer of God's will; and which says continually, "I come to do thy will, O God." "It is my meat

and drink to do the will of my heavenly Father." To this blessed will it is true that she was consecrated; and that in the fulfilment of this consecrating act, she lay patiently and passively on the altar of sacrifice. But I think it is equally true, that she had not as yet experienced all the results which flow out of such a consecration, when it is attended by full faith, and when God has accomplished his work. As we have already expressed it in another passage, she was fully consecrated to the will of God, but had not fully found rest and union in the will of God.

5. During the year 1671, the hand of the Lord, considered in comparison with its former dealings, seems to have been staid. God had found her faithful; and her soul, without having entered into the state of permanent rest and union, experienced, amid all her trials, a high degree of inward consolation and peace. She was patient and faithful in the discharge of domestic duties, regular and watchful in her seasons of private devotion, and prompt in performing the duties of kindness and benevolence to others. In intimating that her trials were diminished, as compared with those of the preceding year, we do not mean to say that she was without trials; but, whatever they were, she was greatly supported under them. And I think it may be added, that, both by the griefs she suffered, and by the duties she discharged, and by the supports and consolations which were afforded her, the process of inward crucifixion was continually going on.

6. There were some things, however, even in her course at this time, which she was afterwards led to regard as faults. One thing she mentions, in particular. I give in this instance, however, as well as in others, her meaning, rather than her precise form of expression. It was this. She was more attached to the retirement, the exercises, and the pleasures of devotion, than she was to the efforts, min

gled as they oftentimes were with temptations and trials, of present and practical duty. As God had not fully taken up his abode in her heart, - which is the only appropriate and adequate corrective of dangers from this source, - she found him, as Christians in that imperfect stage of Christian experience generally do find him, in particular seasons and places. And the consequence was, that she not only loved such seasons and places, and sought them very much, which was very proper, but she gives us to understand that she sometimes loved them, and sought them in such a way and to such a degree, as to interfere with the wants and happiness of others. It is thus that self-will, the last inward enemy which is subdued, may find a place even in our most sacred things, but never without injury.

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7. The principle which she adopted, at a subsequent and more enlightened period of her Christian experience, was, that the true place of God, when we speak of God's place where out of the heart, is in his Providences. It is true, indeed, that God's kingdom is in the heart. "The kingdom of God," says the Saviour, "is within you." But it is true also, that he holds his kingdom there, and that he reigns there, in connection with his providences.

8. And as these remarks are made in connection with special times or seasons of devotion, it may properly be added, that the providences of God include both time and place, in the widest sense. So far from excluding times and places, such as are set apart for devotion or for other purposes, they recognize and establish them; but, what is very important, they hold them also in strict subordination. These divine providences are in themselves, and emphatically so, the time of times and the place of places. And all other times and places, which are approved of God, exist by appointment under them.

9. Undoubtedly, in an important sense of the terms, the

religious man's place is his closet. "Enter into thy closet," says the Saviour, "and pray to thy Father, who seeth in secret." The closet is an indispensable place to him. But whenever he goes there in violation of God's providences, it ceases to be a place of God's appointment, and he goes there without God. It should never be forgotten, therefore, that it is God himself, who consecrates the place, and makes it a profitable one. And He will never consent to be jostled out of his true locality, which is always ascertained and designated by His providences, by means of any merely human arrangements. And accordingly we may lay it down as an important practical principle, that the times and places which are erected within the sphere of God's providences, and are in harmony with them, are right and well; and that all other times and places are wrong.

10. "All my crosses," she says, "would have seemed little, if I might have had liberty, in those seasons when I desired it, to be alone and to pray. But my mother-in-law and husband, who acted in concert in respect to my religious exercises, as they did in regard to many other things, restricted me much. The subjection under which I was thus brought, was painful to me, exceedingly so. Accordingly, when it was understood that I had retired for a season of prayer, my husband would look on his watch, to see if I staid above half an hour. He thought that half an hour was enough for that purpose. If I exceeded that time, he grew very uneasy, and complained.

11. "Sometimes I used a little artifice to effect my purposes. I went to him, and asked him, saying nothing of any devotional exercises, if he would grant me an hour, only one hour, to divert myself in some way, or in any way, that might be pleasing to my own mind. If I had specified some known worldly amusement, I should probably have obtained my request. But, as he could hardly fail to see that I